Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Black Sabbath - Children Of The Grave at Live Aid

As I mentioned, I'm not big on the Sabbath reunions but this one humors me. For Ozzy's hair if for no other reason.

Slow Snowy Friday

Pressed for time today so not much to post...don't fret tho...plenty of Black Sabbath videos as we wrap up Sabbath week.

Next week we begin our celebration of all things Metal during the first annual Blast Furniss S'March of Metal. While I intend to cover the whole genre of Metal during S'March, there is one subgenre that I intend to bypass...Rap Metal. I never had much use for it, in fact, I loathe it as much as I do American Idol.

For fun, I thought it would be neat to give you all the names of the folks who made Black Sabbath week possible. Thanks to for being such a great resource.

Lead guitar: Tony Iommi....the one constant of Sabbath. The guitar king of heavy metal.

Lead vocals:
Ozzy Osbourne - 1969 thru September 1977
Dave Walker - October 1977 thru January 1978
Ozzy Osbourne - January 1978 thru May 1979
Ronnie James Dio - May 1979 thru November 1982
Ian Gillan - January 1983 thru March 1984
Dave Donato - Unknown in 1984 for a few weeks
Jeff Fenholt? - January 1985 to September 1985
Glenn Hughes - September 1985 thru March 1986
Ray Gillen - March 1986 thru August 1987
Tony Martin - August 1987 thru April 1991
Ronnie James Dio - April 1991 thru November 13, 1992
Rob Halford - November 14 & 15, 1992
Tony Martin - Spring 1993 to December 1995 (Band Inactive from Jan 96 to March 97)
Ozzy Osbourne - March 1997 to Aug 25, 2004
Rob Halford - August 26, 2004 (only one gig, stood in when Ozzy was sick)
Ozzy Osbourne - August 27, 2004 to present

Bass guitar:
Geezer Butler - 1969 through mid 1984
Gordon Copley - January 1985 thru September 1985
Dave Spitz - September 1985 thru September 1986
Bob Daisley - September 1986 through October 1986
Dave Spitz - July 1987
Joe Burt - November 1987 thru December 1987
Geoff Nicholls - May 1988
Laurence Cottle - October 1988
Neil Murray - April 1989 thru April 1991
Geezer Butler - April 1991 thru October 1994
Neil Murray - October 1994 thru December 1995
Geezer Butler - Mar 1997 to current

Bill Ward - 1969 thru August 1980
Vinny Appice - August 1980 thru November 1982
Bill Ward - January 1983 thru August 1983
Bev Bevan - August 1983 thru Summer 1984
Bill Ward - Summer 1984
Eric Singer - September 1985 thru January 1987
Bev Bevan - June 1987 to October 1987
Terry Chimes - November 1987 thru March 1988
Cozy Powell - October 1988 thru April 1991
Vinny Appice - April 1991 thru November 16, 1992
Bobby Rondinelli - Spring 1993 thru August 1994
Bill Ward - August 1994 through September 1994
Cozy Powell - October 1994 thru July 1995
Bobby Rondinelli - July 1995 thru December 1995
Mike Bordin - Mar 1997 to June 29, 1997
Shannon Larkin - July 1, 1997 (one gig only - stood in when Mike Bordin couldn't make the gig)
Bill Ward - November 1997 May 1998
Vinny Appice - May 1998 to September 1998 (also was on tour during Jan/Feb 1999 as a backup, but did not play)
Bill Ward - September 1998 to present

Rick Wakeman - 1973
Jezz Woodruffe - ??? thru 1977
Don Airey - 1978
Geoff Nicholls - 1979 thru ??, 2004
Adam Wakeman - June 2004 to present

As you can tell, Sabbath has had more lineups that Spinal Tap has had drummers. Still, they managed to keep their credibility and remain a viable musical act in their current incarnation as Heaven and Hell.

Just a note, while I enjoy much of Ozzy's output with Sabbath (after all, he was the standard bearer for all who followed), I think their last couple records with him were mediocre and their 90's reunions were pretty awful. Ozzy really should pack it in at this point. The years of hard livin' and being married to Sharon have left him a shell of the man who contributed so much to heavy metal, first with Sabbath and then later in the early 80's with his stellar solo work.

Have a good weekend and play it loud!

Black Sabbath With Rob Halford - N.I.B.

Rob Halford is a metal god....First called into service when Dio refused to open for Ozzy, he pinch hit for Sabbath again when Ozzy was too ill to go onstage. I DARE you to name a heavy metal vocalist superior to Rob Halford.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Black Sabbath Week- TV Crimes

I think I was more excited for the release of Dehumanizer than any other Sabbath record. This was the first attempt at a reunion with Dio and the end result was less than underwhelming. At the time I thought it was me....that I'd moved on musically but I realized, nope...its them....Not a bad record but no Heaven and Hell or even Mob Rules. I had hopes that maybe they just needed to get their feet under them and their next effort would be up to snuff...however when Iommi wanted the band to open up for Ozzy at what was billed as his "farewell show" Dio refused and left. Rob Halford sang the night of that gig but Ozzy came back into the fold after..only to leave and be replaced by Tony Martin....who was sacked for another reunion with Ozzy....and now they are again back to Dio. I'm shocked Dio never made a record with Joe Lynn Turner or Brian Howe cuz those dudes have sung with everyone but Sabbath.


Black Sabbath week is almost over and so is February....March comes in like a bloody, sacrficed lamb during the S'March of Metal.....Polling data indicates that women have stopped visiting the BlastFurniss during Sabbath week....guess it'll be a dudes only blog by the end of the S'March of Metal. Maybe to keep the ladies around I'll have a couple special posts on soap operas, home cleaning gizmos and feminine hygiene products. I want a visit to the BlastFurniss to leave the ladies feeling as fresh as they would after frolicking in a field of flowers on a beautiful summer day. That's right...The BlastFurniss is really just a big douche.

Speaking of which...not only is Bill Clinton coming to town tomorrow, Katie Couric will be doing the CBS Evening News from Columbus Monday and Tuesday in anticipation of the Ohio primary. I'd like to personally invite Katie on a tour of central Ohio. Maybe we can take in breakfast at one of our thousands of Bob Evans, followed by lunch or dinner at one of our many fine Applebees restaurants. After a bountiful feast of riblets we can lock hands and have a colonoscopy together. Stupid Andrea Cambern was carrying on last night like Katie was the ghost of Princess Diana. Welcome to Ohio Katie and get the hell out.

Speaking of Bubba...former Clinton Mistress Gennifer Flowers was on Stern this AM. If you didn't hear it you didn't miss much....only her allegations that Mrs. Clinton prefers the touch of a woman and that she aborted Bubba's fetus...oh..and she doesn't swallow. No word yet if Ms. Flowers plans to be a contestant on Rock of Love 3.

More proof that the American Dream is over.....the dollar opened weaker than ever this morning...and the already massive home foreclosure crisis is about to claim another victim....Michael Jackson and his Neverland Ranch. Unless the self anointed and self deposed King of Pop (Other than King Friday the 13th, did any royal title ever sound more gay?) ponies up 25 million bucks in the next month, the Ranch will go to auction. Now this is a darn shame. For one, isn't a sexual predator like MJ required to register with his county sheriff's office? Plus, think of the poor children who visited that instead of being molested in a palace, surrounded by animals that should be kept in a zoo, they'll probably end up groped in some penthouse suite in Vegas. That's just dirty....and sad. We need a solution to mortgage crisis and fast.....someone please do it for the children.

I think Michael Jackson would gain a lot of news coverage if he decided to start dressing like a priest.......

A public apology to OMOM...a few weeks ago I was cracking on him about the NWOBHM band Saxon....I heard Saxon's Wheels of Steel this morning and it melted my face off with its brilliance.

Spring Training ball games start today. Finally, no more talk about Barry Bonds giant head, Roger Clemens and the trainer who saved his used syringes for seven years in his more Mitchell more HGH.....ah, who am I kidding? Congress is gonna keep yapping about this issue cuz they don't wanna deal with the war, the economy, health care, or the New England Patriots spying on other teams.

Enjoy the Sabbath...another vid or two to come today.....we'll wrap up Sabbath week tomorrow with Rob Halford and whatever else I find.

Florida? But that's America's wang!

Black Sabbath Week Day 4-Ozzy

Faeries Wear Boots...If nothing else, one of the great song titles

Black Sabbath Week Day 4-Glenn Hughes

This was supposed to be an Iommi solo record and this song certainly sounds like it. Record company pressure force it to come out as a Sabbath record. Not an AWFUL record but not good either. Hughes lasted half a tour before drugs and drink got him booted in favor of Ray Gillen.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Heaven And Hell Die Young Live 2007

If you haven't been following Sabbath closely, the Dio fronted (Mob Rules/Live Evil era) version of the band is now called Heaven and Hell (so as not to piss off Ozzy). Last year's tour was a smash and more dates are rumored for this year. Since TFO asked for it, here's Black Heaven and Hell with Die Young.

Black Sabbath-Zero The Hero

Here's a 1983 tv appearance of Black Sabbath with Ian Gillan...Zero the Hero...wicked Iommi guitar on this one.

Random Crap Wednesday

Anyone else sick of Winter? This latest round of snow was probably the worst storm of the season. Why is it that schools just can't cancel without issuing a 2 hour delay first? Any fool could have determined at 5am that it was too bad out to open school. Hopefully this was the last blast of winter weather and I'll be able to fire up the bbq grill soon.

After a series of cancelled shows, rumors are flying of trouble in the Van Halen camp. One rumor has the band getting into a fight at a bar while another says Eddie is having personal problems related to ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli's new tell all bio. The third rumor seems to me, on the surface at least, to be the most valid...Eddie is having hearing issues and has turned back to booze. Both "ailments" have hindered his playing and have caused friction between EVH and David Lee Roth. The great Van Halen is due to play in Columbus April Fool's Day. Here's hoping they make it. On the bright side, if Eddie is losing his hearing, at least he won't have to hear that awful VH III record they made with Gary Cherone ever again.

I watched about 10 minutes of the Obama/Clinton debate last night and lost interest quickly. My mind was made up before hand so there was no point in watching. I'll just be happpy to have the Ohio primary over with so we can go a few months without these clowns bombarding us with their empty promises. One of these days a candidate is gonna promise beer flowing freely from the tap and pizza delivered to your house every night at 6.

How did John McCain not know who the hell Billy Cunningham is? The dude is only Cincinnati's version of Rush Limbaugh. McCain's handlers knew full well what Cunningham was all about and they were glad for him to play hatchet man yesterday when he introduced McCain in the Queen City. News flash for the GOP...if the best you can come up with against Obama is cracks about his middle name being Hussein or that his last name rhymes with "Osama" you're gonna get a big time ass kickin' in November.

Did you know that John McCain was the inspiration behind Iron Maiden's mascot Eddie?

What kind of f'd up world do we live in when According to Jim gets renewed for another season? Who the hell watches this show? Does anyone actually like Jim Belushi? I think of him as the unfunny Belushi brother who should have been the one shooting speedballs.

Hey George W. Bush....wanna do me a favor? Bomb the Big Brother house would ya please? Never has there been a collection of less interesting, more self involved, pieces of shite congregated under one dwelling. I really hope this season is tanking in the ratings and helps bring about the end of reality tv. This season is basically a Springer show but not nearly as highbrow.

Anyone going to see Rock on the Range? I think you'll see a black man elected president before you see a reformed STP take the stage. Less than week until the Rocklahoma 2 (Electric Boogaloo) lineup is revealed. If Bret Michaels (solo, no Poison) and a reformed Warrant are closing two nights of this shit fest, my guess is there will be no Rocklahoma 3.

Tesla is playing in Columbus tomorrow night. I won't be there.

NHL trading deadline came and went...just like the Jackets chance to make the playoffs. Adam Foote? GONE. Sergei Federov? GONE. I was really hoping the CBJ would be aggressive and acquire some talent to make a playoff push but they decided to sell off two guys who will be unrestricted free agents at season's end. Good riddance to both. Count on the Jackets to suck for years to come.

Maxim magazine has issued an apology to the Black Crowes for running a review of a record that they never bothered to listen to. Maybe next week I'll review an issue of Maxim I never read.

We're half way thru Black Sabbath week....lots of goodies still in is all about Ian Gillan and the Born Again line-up ....tomorrow we'll spend some more time with Ozzy...still to come this week Sabbath with Glenn Hughes (awful) and Rob Halford (so good you'll go gay).

Vote Quimby!

Black Sabbath Week Day 3-Ian Gillan

Ian Gillan only made one record with Sabbath, but man, what a record Born Again is. Probably the most under appreciated record they've ever made. I would have been interested in hearing more from this lineup of Sabbath but Ian Gillan split to reform Deep Purple. Born Again is chock full of Sabbath classics and is proof you can't judge a book (or record) by its cover. Absolutely one of the WORST album covers of all time. Its Black Sabbath week today featuring Ian Gillan...this one is Trashed.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Black Sabbath Week Day 2-w/Ray Gillen Danger Zone

Best known as lead singer of Badlands, Ray Gillen had a cup of coffee with Black Sabbath. He replaced the drugged and drunk Glenn Hughes then got booted from the band after he finished vocals on the Eternal Idol. Tony Martin was brought in to replace him and he rerecorded the album's vocals. To this date, Gillen's version has not been officially released. Gilledn died of AIDS in the mid 90s.

Bubba Time

In the biggest news to hit my little hamlet since White Castle opened, former President Bill "Bubba" Clinton is coming to town on Friday. I would laugh if Bill made a run for some sliders. Other than NAFTA, I never had too many issues with Bill....despite that, Mrs. Bubba ain't getting my vote on Tuesday. So Bubba welcome to the town that the pre-Bush worst president in U.S. History called home. Here are some suggested visiting spots while you're in town:

1) The tour of abandoned Marion industrial sites....swing by the old Power Shovel, Quaker Oats, Tecumseh, and Clark Metal....take a drive by the new factories paid for with public dollars and say hi to the guys making 8 bucks an hour with no benefits. I'm sure they'll have a lot to say to you.

2) Take a swing by route 95 and see our booming retail sector....I dare you to find a bigger area of chain stores and restaurants within a 15 mile radius....our local economic development guys are so proud of all the minimum wage jobs they've brought in to that area. Maybe pick up something nice for Mrs. C at Kohl's.

3) Have a bite to eat at the Shovel Lounge. But don't smoke....Ohio hates smokers....and gays.....and more than anything Ohio hates gay smokers.

4) Then head on over for drinks at any of downtown Marion's dump bars.

5) Head up Main St. and get yourself some ink. Maybe a heart with "Bubba and Hill Forever" in it. Mrs. C would like it and so would the American public.

My main concern're the former president of the 58th greatest country in the can go anywhere in the world you want.....and you come to Marion Ohio? No one in their right mind wants to be in Marion. You'll find that out when you visit. If my mind wasn't made up to vote for Obama, a Clinton coming to Marion would have sealed my vote for sure.


In news that will probably only interest me and TFO, today is the trading deadline in the NHL. Teams have until 3pm to make moves. Your Columbus Blue Jackets will either be sellers or buyers....much depends on if they can land the incredibly awesome (but horribly named) Brad Richards from Tampa. If you like hockey, visit the kids at

Black Sabbath week continues....Dio version up already today...more to come yet today. Widely known bit of Sabbath trivia.....Tony Iommi was once engaged to Lita Ford....lesser known bit of trivia...Ronnie James Dio's only child is a weather forecaster in upstate New York. I would laugh my ballz off if when doing the weather report he used Dio's famous devil horn/evil eye hand gesture when pointing to the weather map.

Did you see Maxim magazine reviewed the new Black Crowes record without actually listening to it? I'm shocked! If we can't trust Maxim magazine to uphold high journalistic standards who can we trust? Speaking of the Crowes...their first "single" from the new record Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution pulls my pants down and mocks me with its greatness.

You know you're leading a sad, pathetic life when 3 hours of Star Trek Enterprise on Monday night put you in a good mood.

Barrack Obama has been drawing comparisons to everyone from RFK to Abe Lincoln. John McCain yesterday came out and said "I knew Abe Lincoln and Barrack Obama is no Abe Lincoln." McCain pledged again to spend 100 years in Iraq or however long it took to turn the whole country into a giant Old Country Buffet.

I will donate 50 bucks to the campaign of the first candidate who bans the use of Bluetooth headsets.

Celebrity sex videos that would be even less interesting than the recently leaked Gene Simmons video:

1)Jay Leno
2)C.C. Deville
3) Kathy Bates
4) Whoopi Goldberg
5) Sally Jesse Raphael
6)Dick Cheney (tho it would be funny if he got caught on taping banging a bunch of Thai male know that dude is a closet pervert...shooting that dude in the face while hunting was probably some kinda of repressed homosexuality rising to the surface)
7)Art Garfunkel
8)Dennis Rodman (that girl is scary)
9)Any of the Spice Girls
10)Siegfried and Roy

Thats all I got today....More Sabbath to come....enjoy the snowstorm of the century....

Black Sabbath Week Day 2- w/Dio - Neon Knights

Absolutely killer. Ferocious Iommi guitar riff with Dio's killer vocal. Sabbath at its best.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Black Sabbath - Headless Cross

This is the Tony Martin era. Martin made two tours of duty with Sabbath (they reunited with Dio...that came undone, they played a gig with Rob Halford, hooked up with Ozzy, then came back to Martin again). Killer Iommi solo on this tune Play it loud!

Its Black Sabbath Week

Its the last week of February and the S'March of Metal is almost upon us....this week, in terms of video content anyway, is all about Black Sabbath, the band I've always considered to be first metal band. Some will christen Zeppelin but Led Zep is much more blues based and their music is much more melodic. Others will even argue that Blue Cheer was the first metal band...Honestly, I don't care for those types of arguments, because to me, there is no argument. Sabbath made metal.

As I mentioned in today's video, Iron Man is the first Sabbath song I ever remember hearing. I must have been 6 years old and my neighbor had a 45 of it that we used to play over and over. My discovery of the Sabbath catalog came via my elementary school obsession of Ozzy Osbourne. Either I had very cool parents or very naive ones because one year for Xmas, my parents bought me a new boom box with Ozzy's first two records and the entire Ac/Dc back catalog. My brother even picked me up a Diary of a Madman t shirt, which let me tell ya, garnered some stares when I wore it to the Morral Elementary school fun night in the 6th grade. Around the same time I discovered the then current incarnation of Sabbath featuring the vocals of Ronnie James Dio. I added Heaven and Hell (my all time FAVE Sabbath record) and Mob Rules to my collection when my birthday came around. It was 1982, I was in the 6th grade, and I was a Black Sabbath junkie.

I don't know if it was my obsession with horror movies, the writing of Poe, or the fact that a man who bit the head off of doves and bats was cool to me (ah...the days before PETA were good days!)...but I used my allowance to pick up the Sabbath catalog each week. More than anything, it was the guitar playing of Tony Iommi that made me a Sabbath fan. Lots of players have tried to copy Iommi's style but none have managed to do so. Its one thing to play in drop D, but unless you're missing half a finger like Iommi is, you're just not gonna get the sound. Iommi is the heart and soul of the band. While drummers and singers would come and go, Iommi continued to make the band worth listening to. Iommi's guitar sound defines what Heavy Metal music is (and Lemmy from Motorhead defines its attitude).

I plan to post at least two vids a day this week and we'll sample everyone (well at least those who lasted long enough to be captured on video) whoever sang for Black Sabbath. Ozzy, Dio, Ian Gillan, Glenn Hughes, Ray Gillen, Tony Martin, and Rob Halford....we'll take a look at the great and not so great (like Live Aid). For more on the history of Black Sabbath, visit your local library...or just go to Truly one of the great sites on the worldwide intergoogle. Its worth viewing just to see all the Spinal Tapish events in the bands history.

Quick hits from the weekend that was.....

I was having trouble falling asleep last night then I turned it to the Oscars. Out in under 10 minutes...the Oscars...better than Ambien!

After losing to Wisconsin, OSU stands no chance to make the NCAA tournament. Which means, I won't watch a minute of it.

Trading half their roster seemed to pay off for the Cleveland Cavaliers. They looked great least night in beating Memphis.

Can the CBJ change their name to Sybil on Ice? Just when I'm ready to stick a fork in them and proclaim the season over they steal two wins against superior teams to keep their playoff hopes alive.

A story in the NY Times today on Barrack Obama left me a little unnerved...seems many believe his candidacy will end with him being assassinated ala MLK and RFK in 1968.

Every time I see John McCain he reminds me more and more of the evil mask maker in Halloween 3.

Of course, the more I see of Hillary Clinton I can see why Bill went outside their marriage. The woman has all the warmth of a deep freeze.

I have a feeling that the economy will make this the worst summer ever at the box office for movies and concerts.

I think in the pecking order of celebrity sex vids this new Gene Simmons one falls after the one with Skreech from Saved by the Bell in the food chain.

With another winter storm in store for us tomorrow (Hey channel 4...just put a 24/7 webcam on the salt barn and be done with it!), take comfort from the fact that Grapefruit and Cactus League play begins Thursday....and another season of Arena Football is almost upon us. The end of winter is in sight!

Raise your devil horns high gang! Its Black Sabbath week!

Black Sabbath Iron Man(Live in Paris 1970)

Its Sabbath week...what better song to start with then the first Sabbath song I ever remember hearing. As a kid I always thought it was about the Marvel comics character so between that and one of the most amazing riffs in the history of metal I was hooked.

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Black Crowes - Soul Singing

Here's a clip of the Crowes doin' one of my fave tunes on Letterman back in Aught One...sing sing sing sing sing along!

Black Crowes on Letterman 1994

Sure, they may not have been the most "original" band, but the Black Crowes are one of the greatest rock bands EVER. I dare you to find a singer with a better voice than Chris Robinson. Hell of a nice guy too. Play it loud.

Rock and Roll Machines

My friends with the snow and ice a coming down and some kinda seasonal depression threatening to steal my soul, what I need now more than ever is ROCK.....I believe that everyone has a right to keep rock in their own religion. For instance, if asked to fill out my religious affiliation I always write down "Springsteenian." However, on occasion I also mark "BlackSabbathanite." I believe that rock can make you feel alive and new again, just like over the next four or five weeks we'll featuring heavy doses of rock here on the ol' crap blog.

March of course is dedicated to the S'March of Metal....a new metal clip every day. This won't be for the week or most likely for women. Don't expect hairspray bands...this will be metal at its most primal (and quite possibly subliminally homoerotic...lots of leather and bare chests in metal). To set the stage for the S'March of Metal, each day next week will be dedicated to Black Sabbath.....Sabbath has had more singers than American Idol and we'll feature them all next week...Ozzy, Dio, Ian Gillan, Glenn Hughes, Ray Gillan, Tony Martin, and yes, Rob next week its Blast er Black Sabbath week....

Maybe I can talk the O.M.O.M. into writing a guest blog for us during the S'March of Metal.....Evil Larry will have plenty of comments too....

Tonights MegaMillions is worth an absurd amount of one won Tuesday when it was worth $220 million so we should be looking at $250 million tonight....Now, in addition to increasing the funding I already provide to my charity for women in need of breast implants, I would also use that money so that I could travel to every concert I would want to see. For instance, Robert Plant and Allison Krauss are doing a short tour. The nearest they come to Ohio is Louisville, KY and both shows are sold out. The Black Crowes have been playing a series of shows too but again, no Ohio dates. If I win the MegaMillions tonight, I will be able to do everything I want, when I want. Hookers, blow, and all the rock shows I can stand.

If you find yourself confused as to what is rock and what isn't....I've come up with a reference for you. Its very simple:

First ask yourself the question...can I make sexytime with this on? If yes, then you're probably listening to rock. Then ask yourself....would drinking beer enhance my listening experience? If yes, then you're probably listening to rock. If you feel the urge to snort coke off a hookers bare behind, odds are, you're enjoying some kick booty rock music. If on the other hand you have the urge to turn out all your lights, shoot heroin and complain about how tortured you are, you're not listening to rock and should probably either in art school or on suicide watch.

Bands that rock:Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Deep Purple, Ac/Dc, Georgia Satellites, CCR, Thin Lizzy, Cheap Trick, James Brown (yep, I said James Brown),American Dog, Van Halen (with DLR ONLY!), Motorhead, the Faces, the Foo Fighters...this is just a small sample of course....if you're listening to a band and they sound sort of like one of these bands, then you're listening to something that rocks.

Bands that don't rock: the Doors, Counting Crows, Matchbox 20, Nickelback, Hootie and the Blowfish, Staind, Saliva, Kid Rock, the Greatful Dead,Finger Eleven, Nirvana, Pearl Jam (with the exception of World Wide Suicide), the Killers, Death Cab for Cutie, the Smashing Pumpkins....these are all bands that don't rock....most of these bands are depressing and flat out suck too. If the band you're listening to sounds at all like one of these bands, then you're probably NOT listening to rock.

Too many parents these days aren't laying a foundation of rock for their children. I can't tell you how many kids I see being abused with crap music. Teaching your kids about rock and that they have a RIGHT to rock is just as important as doing homework, learning the golden rule and brushing your teeth. When you teach a child how to rock, you are opening their door to a world of fun and enjoyment.

So the Sun isn't coming out there is snow on the ground and more falling....don't be down....big deal....let the magical, mystical power of rock warm you and set your soul free....

Have a good weekend kids!

The Godz

If you are over the age of 35 and grew up in Ohio....and had to love the Godz. They represented all that was good and holy and pure in rock and, drugs, booze, more sex, more drugs, and yes, more booze. Eric Moore should have a street named after him....someone slapped this sit back, enjoy, crank it up...Its the Godz...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Weather With You

One of my all time favorite Crowded House songs performed here by the Finn Brothers, Neil and Tim. Joining them here is the late, great Paul Hester drummer of Crowded House who left this world far too early. One of the nicest celebrities I've ever met. Figured with more bad weather in the forecast, its the perfect song.

Thursday's With Evil Larry

Guest blogging today is Evil Larry....
Have you seen these nude Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe photos? Huzzah! I haven't felt so good since I snorted garlique, Viagra and crank off the backside of Betty Grable's thighs.
What do you make of this kid Barry Obama? He may be the most eloquent colored person since Cassius Clay.
I worry that John McCain is too young to be President.
For my money, nothing takes care of a cold like an evening with a half dozen Fillipino prostitutes. If you can find them under the age of 15 I say go for it.
I think my friend Francis Albert Sinatra would have loved Hillary Clinton. He would have given her the smack down she needs. Why in my day, women couldn't vote let alone run for office.
I think we sugar coat things for kids too much these days. My friend Michael Jackson was looking to adopt a couple young boys and they told him he couldn't adopt because he was a pedophile! I'm outraged! How will we prepare these kids for the challenges of adult hood? We need another Vietnam! That'll teach 'em.
I don't see the appeal of a show called Lost. At my age I find myself getting lost all the time and I don't find it entertaining.
You know those Puerto Ricans are a very sensuous people. YOWZA!
I'll never forget the night Ted Turner and I made the sweetest love.
New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since Guy Lombardo died.
So our boys shot down a spy satellite last night....In your face USSR! USA! USA! The first country to shoot down a satellite!
How come they don't make a cell phone with larger buttons?
Why did I think the movie "No Country for Old Men" was about me?
Why did John Wayne stop making movies?
For my money, you won't meet a more upstanding person working in journalism today than Pat O'Brien. Such character and values. He should run for President.
Knute Rockne once told me there is nothing like the steely buttocks of a left tackle.
What I want to hear from these presidential candidates is what they intend to do about immigration.....this country has an Irish problem and its about time we deal with it.
Ya know, as well as its sold, you'd think someone would write a sequel to the Bible.
I gotta go...Kathie Lee Gifford is coming over to give me a prostate massage...until next time...I'm Evil Larry...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Send Some Mail to the BlastFurniss

I don't know why I didn't do this sooner, but you can now email the BlastFurniss.....Rock and Roll Death Camps offend you? Have something positive to say about Dave Matthews? Think the Columbus Blue Jackets WILL make the playoffs? Do you disagree with me and believe Hillary Clinton has a soul? If you're too shy to leave a comment here you can now email the BlastFurniss...

Here's the addy......

I reserve the right to tell you that Dave Matthews sucks, some bands suck so much they deserve to be punished, that the CBJ suck, and that Hillary Clinton is as soul less as well, Dave Matthews.

Bored to Tears

Don't know if its just this time of the year, but I'm bored as all get out. Too much time at home. Nothing to watch on tv when I'm cooped up at home. Too cold to go outside. Nowhere good to go and eat. Maybe I'm not bored...maybe I'm depressed!

Nah..I'm gonna stick with boredom. Here are some things that bore me...please, feel free to share yours.

1) Jay Leno....made the mistake of falling asleep with the tv on. Woke up and a rerun of his was on like at 2am. Back to sleep in under 5 minutes. Leno isn't just unfunny, he's dull. He's predictable. I don't find Andy Dick funny but he's not boring. Leno is the worst host of the Tonight Show ever. Thank God, another year and he's gone.

2) Motley Crue....good luck avoiding them. They seem to wind up all over the place. Can't understand why. They haven't had a hit record since Dr. Feelgood in what, 1989 or 1990? Band has worked too hard marketing themselves as bad boys when they are really just a musical cure for insomnia.

3) The Super Friends....ya know, I loved this show when I was 4 but I caught it recently and the animation is just flat out awful. Batman strolls around in daylight and smiles way too much. The narrator sounds like John Facenda from NFL Films. I'm convinced Wendy and Marvin had something going on but I can't maintain an interest long enough to find out just what it was. Was there ever a less interesting character than Aquaman?

4) Nick at Nite...once upon a time, Nick at Nite was a prime landing spot when there was nothing else to watch on tv. Now it just flat out blows. Lousy programs like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air need to be buried and never seen again...or at least shown on ION.

5) McDonalds...when was the last time you actually WANTED to go there? Tired menu, tired gimics.....

6) Entertainment Tonight, Extra, Access Hollywood....Once upon a time, ET served a purpose. I remember seeing them interview Krokus way back in the day. But does anyone actually enjoy these shows? Does anyone stay awake thru them? Plus, Billy Bush may be the least interesting human being ever. He is really the Aquaman of tv.

7) Cellphones.....sure its more advanced than anything Captain Kirk had on the original Star Trek but the barrage of ads leads you to believe the a new cellphone can cure cancer, acne, and work better than Viagra. Its a phone. Who cares?

8) Morning news shows....especially the local variety. How are we expected to stay awake and start our day when we're subjected to the same boring weather and traffic reports every ten minutes. Thats all the local news shows are....a fat weather fat his butt blocks the western U.S. on the map, followed by a hot traffic girl. Just when she starts to get your blood pumping, here comes the talking head anchors to lull you back to sleep.

9) Tattoos.....yes you're a real've gone and coated yourself in ink...woohoo...I'm really are living on the fringe of if ya wanna really rebel how bout wearing a navy blazer and a striped tie? Whether you're inked up or wearing the uniform of the Young Republcians, you're just a consumer of Madison're buying into an image. At least the Young GOP'sters realize it.

10) This Blog....have I had an interesting thought in a few weeks? Nope. Its cuz I'm bored.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Snow vs Castro

So I tune in to the local news this morning and got the usual barrage of school delays and reporters outside telling me how icy it is. After a half hour of this I go online to check the news and find out Fidel Castro is giving up some of his control over Cuba. Now this should be a big news story...just not in Columbus when its inch. The downside to the Castro thing is Bush decided to comment on how he hopes to have free elections and democracy in Cuba....Bush figures its better that they have free elections there than here.

As regular readers know, I have little use for reality television. Mrs. Furniss however enjoys Big Brother thus, I'm kinda forced to watch. The cast of this season's edition may be the most unlikeable group of people assemembled since the Third Reich. The men are all stupid and seem to be language impaired. The women look like rejects from Rock of Love. YouTube is currently running video captured from the web cams of a one contestant receiving a hummer from another. The giver is also rumored to be....wait for it....a transexual. Nice. One of the other contestants has a history in gay porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I think I'm gonna pass on this freak show. I feel like I could acquire an STD just by watching.

One last bit of reality news....I used to like Adam Carrolla and Penn Jillette....but now that they've agreed to appear on the latest edition of Dancing with the Stars they are dead to me. They'll be joined by such "stars" as Steve Guttenberg, NFL player Jason Taylor and the former mother in law of Michael Jackson, Priscilla Presley.

To those of you who bought HD DVD players, I'm sure you know by now, Toshiba has surrendered and announced that they are no longer making any more players. This means Blu Ray has won the battle to be the next generation technology. I really thought after the adult film industry came out and endorsed HD DVD that it would emerge the winner. After all, the adult film industry decided the winner of the VHS vs Beta war of the early 80s. If you can't trust the adult film industry to know whats best for us, who can you trust?

Lindsay Lohan has paid tribute to Marilyn Monroe by posing nude for a photo shoot like one of Marilyn's. For her next homage she plans to die under less than mysterious circumstances.

One of my fave websites is dedicated to the history of Black Sabbath. Go to and read all about the band's incredibly Spinal Tapish history. I'm shocked everytime I visit just how many lineups there have been in the bands history. Next week in anticipation of March being the S'March of Metal, I'll have a lot more Sabbath stuff to gear us up for S'March Metal Madness.

Proof that smart people can be stupid...the head of Mensa has released a list of the 10 smartest tv shows of all time....on the Mad About You? That's what passes for a smart guys idea of a joke right?

Wendy Wilson, daughter of Beach Boy Brian, the girl in Wilson Phillips who was neither blonde or fat, is rescued by Super Nanny this week. Guess it beats having your gastric bypass surgery shown online like her sister did.

Happy Birthday to friend of the Furniss TFO....I think I'm a few days late in extending the wishes but I hope ya had a nice one. Little known fact about TFO..he has an actual size tattoo of Ronnie James Dio on his genitals.

Its National Condom Week.....wrap that rascal kids.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Random Thought Monday

Am I the only person who finds it peculiar that the United States Senate is more interested in whether or not the New England Patriots were spying on their opponents than they are that the government has?

Of course, Congress is known for wasting its time and money on senseless things. Like those absurd hearings last week with Roger Clemens. I don't care if he juiced or not. Ya wanna grill someone for baseball being juiced? Get Bud Selig and Don Fehr up there. Selig knew players were juicing and didn't care as long as it created interest in the game and sold tickets. Fehr knew inflated numbers would lead to inflated contracts. Clemens is a pinhead and a cheater but it appears everyone associated with MLB is.

If you've not yet seen the CMT Crossroads ep with Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, they are running it Tuesday at 1pm and Saturday at 10am. I watched it online last night. Their renditon of the When the Levee Breaks was amazing. Such great chemistry between the two. Plant really seems to be enjoying himself.

The NBA had an All Star game last night. Did anyone care? If an All Star game is played on TNT is it even really an All Star game?

How can the Jackets beat Detroit on the road one night and then lose badly to an awful St Louis team two nights later? Answer....because the Columbus Blue Jackets suck.

Shame that the producers of the Grammy Awards couldn't have inserted a mention of Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot during their annual "In Memoriam" segment. Wife beater Ike Turner got in. Sure hard rock is looked down upon by the establishment but Quiet Riot did have the first hard rock/metal album to go to number one. Snobs.

I heard the new Def Leppard with Tim McGraw single over the weekend. Yep. It sucks.

Here's the beauty of YouTube...I wasted about an hour last night watching videos of Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow. The Dio and Joe Lynn Turner stuff still holds up, the Doogie White and Graham Bonnett stuff, not at all. Why did anyone ever give Bonnett work? The guy sang badly and looked awful and out of place in every band he ever fronted.

Jumper was number one at the box office over the weekend. The American public must have been really, really bored to go see that flick.

Anyone watching the new season of Big Brother? This may be the skankiest cast ever. I can't really say I'm enjoying yet. Gonna give it another week or two tho. I think I'd be more interested in a live execution than live eviction. This years cast seems to lack any sort of redeeming qualities.

Do you think the person who came up with the idea for Chuck E. Cheese had a serious drug problem? No sober person would have thought up that idea.

I had count 'em 25 Toys R Us ads in my paper yesterday. I suddenly have an urge to stock up on Pokemon and Playstation 3's. Now THAT is an aggressive ad campaign.

Have you noticed John McCain looks more like the undead every passing day? I think he's giving all his speeches to seniors in hopes he'll appear to look younger.

Remember the S'March of Metal begins in two weeks....

Friday, February 15, 2008

Hey Hey Its the Geekend

Never seemed like Friday would ever get here....Get your geek on with the latest news

I'm serously bummed by the news yesterday that the new Star Trek movie has had its release date moved from Xmas 2008 to May 2009. Now I'll have to be content to look forward to Iron Man, Wolverine and Indy 4 at the movies this year.

How about the end of last night's episode of Lost? Naveen Andrews performance as Sayid never fails to impress me. That is one bad dude. Speaking of Lost, the LA Times has an interview with the lovely Juliet:,1,7444927.story?ctrack=6&cset=true

If you missed last night's Lost, here's a recap:

Some time, before I die...I'm going to Comic Con and Toy Fair :

You know what I could never get into? Dr. Who. :

Another movie to get geeked up about is the Watchmen....also coming in 2009:

AICN has an interview with the creator of V and Alien Nation:

Here's a sneak peek at that Wolverine flick: is now running a feature called "Way Back Wednesday" where they show old eps of such classics like Buck Rogers and the original Battlestar Galactica. Speaking of Buck Rogers, Gil Gerard will be in Columbus in May at a sci fi convention.

Knight Rider is back this Sunday....I think the new version will suck as bad as the original:

An Aerosmith version of Guitar Hero will be out in stores this summer.

There's your weekend bit of geek news. If you're going to see Jumper this weekend I have just one thing to ask...Why?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

BlastFurniss Guide to Valentines Day

Since I'm short on time and ideas today, I offer you, the loyal readers, some of my Valentine's Day tips to guarantee your lady has a great Valentine's Day.

1) Flowers. Lots of 'em. Roses in particular. Trust me...she's checking to see how much you spend on her. Women are good at putting a dollar value on things. If she tells you she just wants a card she's a liar.

2) Pick the perfect card....if you can't be romantic, at least be funny. No cards making reference to you being gassy either. Chicks wanna feel the love.

3) Chocolate...this is a tricky one. You don't want her getting fat (or fatter) but you also don't want her to suspect you think she's fat. So spring for the chocolate.

4) Stuffed animals-a definite no-no. Unless she's 6 years old. And you're a pervert.

5) Lingerie-No man should ever buy it for his woman. Just pray to your God that she wears some for you later. Save your money and just give her complements. Chicks dig complements. Just don't tell her that she could be a part time model.....she might be insulted if you think she couldn't be one full time.

6) Dinner-It can't be about can't go anywhere that serves wings or shows games. Do something classy. Eat fish for a change....and stay away from anything makes you gassy.

7) Booze....Get her a couple more than want to lower her inhibitions but you don't want to make her woozy and pass out. Treat yourself to something good too at the bar...if you normally drink Busch, spring for Bud. If you drink Bud, drink an import instead.

8) Mood enhancements-After you've sent the flowers, given the card and the candy, taken her to dinner and given her a buzz...don't ruin it by putting on Metallica. If you don't have the 20 minute dance remix of Prince's Erotic City in your collection, spring for some Otis Redding, Al Green or Marvin Gaye....just make sure the first song she hears isn't Lets Get it On....too obvious. Oh....Valentine's Day probably not the best time for the two of you to watch adult films. That's more of a Sweetest Day kinda thing. Plus, after springing for all those gifts and dinner, you know she'll only be disappointed with you after being subjected to 2 hours of the best of Lexington Steele.

Happy Valentine's Day kids.....

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Feels Like My Head's Gonna Bust Open.....

Nice start to the day...I overslept.....doors to the car were frozen de-icer....I had one option...the old hot water treatment which worked without cracking the glass.......had to order the last minute Valentine's Day flowers....had to stop and pick up some Advil Cold and Sinus (but of course, cuz they suspect you might be using them for crystal meth production you have to sign 50 forms and submit 10 pieces of ID just to win the opportunity to purchase them).

Needless to say, I'm fed up with winter....fed up with having a bug I can't shake.....fed up with the political my mood is lifted and my darkness lightened by only one thing......tomorrow my friends, pitchers and catchers report for spring training. Forget the groundhog, the first sign that spring is on its way is spring training.

Sure the baseball offseason was spent talking more about off the field events than anything related to the game, but despite its flaws, it is the perfect sport. Best of all, on Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens this season. I'm hoping to hit every minor league ballpark in the state this year if I can. Best of all, its the last season for Cooper Stadium, as the Columbus Clippers move into a new ballpark in 2009. I like the Coop but a new park was long overdue. If the Clippers were affiliated with the Indians or Reds I'd go down more often. But who really wants to see anything associated with the Washington Nationals? Speaking of the Nats, they move into a new ballpark this season.

Better days may be here....not only is baseball about to return, the Hollywood writers strike is now officially over. While we won't see any more new eps of Heroes or 24 this season, we'll get at least 5 more episodes of Lost.

Proof that I'm just not quite right...yesterday was National Pancake Day and I missed it. IHOP had free pancakes all day to celebrate. Its unlike me to miss out on a chance at free flapjacks.

So Paris Hilton's kid brother got popped for DUI on the same weekend that her new flick "The Hottie and the Nottie" grossed a whopping $25,000 at the box office. Its nice when bad things happen to bad people.

News out of Cleveland today says Brady Quinn was caught on tape gay bashing outside a bar in Columbus. Brady bashing? The guy who cried when his Browns teammates made him cut his hair hates gay people? The guy who never seems to be photographed with a shirt on has been linked to insulting homosexuals? I think Brady Queen needs to get himself into some therapy and get herself some help.

Finally, hats off to Uno the first beagle to ever win Best in Show at Westminster. I've been saying it for ages that the man has oppressed the beagle for far too long. Let's just hope the little fella isn't linked to Balco, Roger Clemens, the clear, the cream, HGH or any other funny business.

I'm off in search of cough drops....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I'm not usually one who enjoys the do it yourself videos on YouTube but the guy that put this together. Fantastic tune and if I were to be buried I think I'd like the line "When I die I don't want no part of heaven, I would not do heaven's work well" on my tombstone.

Men in Tights

Steve Gerber, creator of classic comic book character, Howard the Duck passed away at the age of 60 on Sunday. Howard the Duck may have the distinction of being the worst comic book movie of all time and without a doubt, the biggest failure of George Lucas's moviemaking career (other than say the Phantom Menace...boy that sucks hard).

What is it about comic book movies that I love so much? Oh wait..its cuz tho I no longer collect, I love comic books. As a kid I loved the Adam West Batman show, even liked the Bill Bixby Hulk (but its companion Spiderman with that dude from the Sound of Music was just awful). I still remember going to see the Christopher Reeve Superman at the old Ohio Theater. You would have thought that movie, and its box office success, would have lead to a boom of superhero movies back then.

But this my friends is the golden age of the comic book movie. Due this year are the way cool looking Iron Man starring Robert Downey Jr. and the latest Batman flick with Christian Bale. More comic flicks are in the works....there is Edward Norton in a relaunch of the Hulk (we're supposed to forget the Ang Lee flick ever existed) and the Watchmen with Jackie Earl Haley (man, I'm hoping this movie is fantastic).

Here are my picks for top 5 comic movies of all time:

Superman-Christopher Reeve was the best Superman ever. Brilliant effects, great cast, tho to be honest, I felt Hackman's Lex Luthor was a stooge. A film ahead of its time.

Batman Begins-I thought Michael Keaton was a great Batman but Tim Burton was always more interested in telling the story of the bad guys. Christian Bale, like Christopher Reeve, just takes over the role. Plus, let's face it....Batman is far and away the coolest comic book character ever.

Spiderman 2-A lot of people think more of the first Spiderman...but then again, a lot of people voted to elect Dubya President....twice. I found Willem Dafoe over the top in the first one. Alfred Molina's Doc Ock is killer and again, perfect casting. Great effects.

The Crow-I'm a sucker for this flick. The sequels all sucked. Brandon Lee would have been a huge star had he not died while making this flick. A truly creepy and disturbing film.

X-Men 2-An impressive peformance by Hugh Jackman cuz I'm convinced he's closer to being more like Peter Allen than he is to Wolverine.

Worst Comic Flicks Ever

Fantastic Four-name a version...the low budget Roger Corman 90's flick that was never released or that crap flick with Jessica Alba. Awful...awful. awful

Swamp Thing-Would love to see this one remade as a dark horror movie instead of the slapstick trash of the 80's film and its awful sequel

Daredevil-Why did they have to switch his costume to red leather?

Batman & Robin-I like George Clooney...but he should have known better. Worse than the Adam West tv show.

Captain America-This direct to dvd film may be the worst comic movie ever. Captain America appears in costume for all of 20 minutes and they made the Red Skull an Italian instead of a Nazi.

The Punisher-The first version...with Dolph Lundgren. Tho the Thomas Jane version blew too. This one is worse because the Punisher never wears the skull on his chest.

I suspect the new Iron Man and Batman movies will join the best ever list. I'd love to see Captain America done right on the big screen. I enjoyed the early 90's Flash tv show and I'd dig a movie. My inner geek would also plunk down cash for a Green Lantern movie.

Comics and comic movies...when you don't have anything else to talk about on a snowy Tuesday you can't go wrong talking 'bout those.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Things I Think Monday or Why Do I Hate the Grammy Awards?

When you're recovering from the flu, never, ever, watch an awards show. You will, without a doubt, begin feeling the urge to puke again.
I should have known better than to tune in. I hate the Grammy's above all awards shows yet I watch each year. The nausea set in when I saw the opening performance of Alicia Keys dueting with Frank Sinatra. Sinatra would duet with darn near anyone but ya know, it unnerves me to no end when they dig up a dead peformer and have them duet like that.
The media is proclaiming Amy Winehouse the big winner of the night....take a look at that woman's that the face of a winner or a monster from a horror movie? Rehab is a great song tho and I say good for her for celebrating being dysfunctional. On the other hand, there is Kanye West. What am I missing with this guy? Is there something great about him I'm not getting? Cuz what I see with this guy is ego, little talent and originality, and a penchant for exploiting his mother's death for public sympathy. I'm sorry the dude's mom died but most people prefer to grieve privately. Shaving the world "mama" into his head brought that all back up again for public consumption.
How can you award a best album of the year award to Herbie Hancock? Its pseudo-jazz remakes of Joni Mitchell songs! Of course, I didn't understand how Vince Gill was nominated in that category and Springsteen's Magie wasn't. Then I remind myself this is the same Academy that gave Jethro Tull an award for Best Metal band and awarded best new artist honors to the likes of the Starland Vocal Band, Christopher Cross and Milli Vanilli. The Grammys suck....
I think the duet between Beyonce and Tina Turner was all the proof anyone should ever need that Beyonce should be seen and not heard. Tina Turner musical god, Beyonce, Fraud.
I love the Foo Fighters. I enjoyed their peformance last night of the Pretender. I think no rock band should ever perform with a symphony again. Too cliche.
Moving on....
Ya know what else is worthless? The Pro Bowl. Worst All Star game in pro sport. Might as well make it two hand touch. It doesn't resemble real football at all.
Did you see what happened to Richard Zednik of the Florida Panthers? Ran into a teammates skate and cut his throat slashed and bled like a steer. Proof again that the NHL is run by idiots, they finished the game despite Zednik's near death experience. You watch a guy get hurt like that and you're expected to finish the game?
After watching 60 Minutes last night, its clear why Barrack Obama is moving past Mrs. Clinton. He has a soul and she's like a pod creature from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I think Bill Maher was on to something the other night when he compared Obama to Jackie Robinson. Obama is a candidate who happens to be black, unlike say Jesse Jackson who was the black candidate.
I think Rob Zombie's Halloween may just be the worst horror movie ever made. Watched in on DVD over the weekend. It was crude just to be crude...gory just to be gory. Awful, awful film. Makes Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes seem like a classic by comparison.
While it looks the writer's strike is all but over, don't expect to see all your fave shows return. Heroes is probably done for the season. Be interesting to see what shows return, which are gone forever and which will return next year. 24 may not even be back until early 2009. Jack Bauer could probably use the time to recover from saving the world anyway....hopefully Keifer Sutherland stays out of jail in the meantime.
With wind chills below zero and heavy snow in the forecast for tonight, I'm comforted by knowing pitchers and catchers report for spring training this week.
I think if I had to play someone just one Kiss song, it would be God of Thunder.
RIP Roy Schieder. I think you were great in Jaws dude.
I think I'm gonna have some kinda special Valentine's Day post so I think you should make sure to stop by for that on Thursday. Been pricing gifts for the wife for the holiday. Man, those rose prices sure to go up each year don't they?
I think you should prepare yourself for the local news media to report live from the highway as the snow falls. Not to mention the live shot from the salt barn. You can count on more than weather man being involved in the live coverage too.
I think I might forgive Kanye West for being a jackass if he'd just do a record of Conway Twitty covers....Kanye does Conway....its fun to say.
I think I'm out of interesting things to say.....bundle up kids.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Bruce Springsteen - Girls In Their Summer Clothes

Still trying to recover from the flu...with below zero windchill in the forecast, I gotta make myself feel better thinkin' bout summertime. Even if the girls in their summer clothes pass me by...fantastic Beach Boysesque tune from the Boss.

Friday, February 8, 2008


The BlastFurniss is closed today due to the flu.....knew I should have got the stupid shot. Now I'm dying.

Thursday, February 7, 2008


Obviously, not a whole lot of video exists of the bands mentioned in today's main post. Here is the legendary Gaunt at the equally legendary Stache's in 1994.

S'March of Metal

The most fun I think I've had with this here blog is when we devoted October to honoring some the power and glory of rock and roll. Some of it was good, a lot of it awful. So I've decided to have a Rocktober in March only with a different focus. Along with my daily sermons, I will be tossing up a new video each day dedicated to the masters of Heavy Metal. Prepare yourself to plundered by acts like Voivod (now the subject of a documentary that was shopepd at Sundance), Iced Earth, Candlemass, King Diamond, Manowar and the majesty of Motorhead. With a nod to the Simpsons, we'll call it the S'March of Metal. So that's coming in March.

Bored beyond belief last night (God, will this tv writers strike NEVER end?), I spent some time surfing the intergoogles. One of the best times of my life was when I was working in a record store on the OSU campus in the late 80s, early 90s. At that time the Columbus music scene was just a geek boys dream. Entertainment Weekly ran an article on Columbus around 1994 or 1995 and proclaimed it as the new Seattle. Sadly, none of the Columbus bands commercially reached the heights of the Screaming Trees, let alone Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains or the overrated Nirvana (yes, its true...I despise Nirvana...tho Dave Grohl is the best thing that ever came out of the Seattle scene...that dude truly loves rock). There were some great bands in Columbus at that time:Gaunt, Pica Huss, the Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, Scrawl, and the New Bomb Turks.

If you Google Gaunt or the Turks, you'll see that while they missed out on commercial success, they have carved an almost Robert Johnson like reputation among music fans. I believe the Turks still play the odd show from time to time but have ceased recording. Gaunt died when its leader Jerry Wick was killed in an accident a few years back. What made these Columbus bands so great was their love of the music. It was fun, it was passionate and it wasn't taken ever so seriously. It had the soul that was missing in the flannel wearing crap being spewed out like volcanic ash in the Pacific Northwest.

To be sure there were some crap bands in the area....not even the mad skills of former Spiders from Mars guitarist Mick Ronson could make the Toll interesting (sweet Jebus they had an epic song called Jonathon Toledo that should still be brought up on obscenity charges of the worst freaking songs ever). The band I always found most deserving of commercial success was the Royal Crescent Mob (or R.C. Mob, or just the Mob). They were better than Jane's Addiction and the Red Hot Chili Peppers and while they achieved every bands dream of a major label deal, they were lost in the shuffle at Atlantic and dropped after two releases stiffed on the sales charts (of course, the results might have been different had the label actually spent some money promoting them). Bloody shame. The Mob put on some of the best shows I've ever seen at Stache's (God bless that bar's sweet soul).

Wanna know why the music industry sucks? Blame the people running labels who knew nothing about good music. In the 90's they were so busy trying to latch on to what the "in" thing was they ignored what was good. They forgot they were in the business of selling "music" and reduced it to "product." More than the digital age, bad business sense ruined the music industry. So big deal, Columbus never became the "new Seattle" as EW said it would. It was a better place. Seattle was like the beginning of the Wizard of Oz, all drab and gray, while Columbus was Oz. It was alive with something magical...provided the beer was cold, the bar cramped, and the PA was good.

This part of today's post while dealing with music out of Columbus didn't really fit in with the previously mentioned stuff so I'll use the cliche of typing it in italics to make it stand apart....Willie Phoenix has been a staple of the Columbus music scene since gas cooled, rock formed and dinosaurs roamed the Earth. I always suspected Willie could have had a great career had his picture not graced the cover of his first record. It was straight ahead heartland rock but the cover shot of an African American with dreads surely lead radio programmers to dismiss him as a reggae artist. Shame. Dude threw a good party live and played tasty guitar.

Were the Godz truly a Columbus band? I know guitar player Mark Chatfield was a Columbus area native. QFM 96 was an early supporter but I seem to remember WMMS in Cleveland was also a big backer. I put those two Godz records up there with any rock albums ever. Never has a band had a more appropriate name. Motley Crue still loves to portray themselves as the bad boys of rock..crap Eric Moore has probably pissed out things badder than Nikki Sixx.

Did McGuffey Lane ever have any success outside of the area?

Did any band blow their chance to succeed like Shock Tu, the top hair metal act of Columbus in the late 80's and early 90's? The story as I heard it (and I'm sure I don't have all the facts) is that the band relocated to Dallas, landed a major label deal, and imploded before they ever started recording it. I wasn't a fan of theirs but their guitar player was pretty darn good (even tho he played a freaking Steinberger or whatever those guitars without the head stock were called).

God Bless American Dog.........

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Not So Super Wednesday

If you survived the non-stop Super Tuesday coverage last night, welcome to Wednesday. Ash Wednesday for all you Catholics. I'll have an extra cigarette today in your honor.

Random thoughts today....

How many times do you think Tiki Barber has called suicide hotline since the Giants won the Super Bowl?

While watching an episode of the original Star Trek, it hit me that my cell phone is more advanced than Captain Kirk's communicator. I hate cell phones but I have to admit, a Next Generation style communicator that you can just wear on your shirt and tap to make a call would be a pretty cool cell phone.

James McMurtry has a new record coming out on April 15th. Take a listen to samples and download the first single from the new record Just Us Kids by going over to If you ain't listening to James, you're listening to shite.

Kiss is making plans to mark their 35th anniversary. Really, at this point, what is there for them to celebrate? That they are still making money? That being said, I really need to pick up those Kissology DVD's. Gotta make sure Gene and Paul can continue to send the kids to the finest schools.

What kind of God would make Al Roker famous?

Tim Russert saw his shadow this morning so that means six more weeks of primary coverage.

Why is it the more I see Hillary Clinton the less I like her? I have no problem voting for a woman for president, I just have a problem with this one. If she is the nominee we're gonna be subjected to hearing about travelgate, Whitewater, Vince Foster, Lewinsky and stained dresses all over again. Do you get the feeling John McCain would nuke someone within 15 minutes of taking the oath of office? I fear the dude is like Rambo and looking to get even with Vietnam or something.

I've said it once and I'll say it again...we're all doomed no matter who gets elected. I am the ghost of Tom Joad.

I have nothing against Muppets, but do we need a bioflick on the life of their creator Jim Henson? I'd rather watch Kermit the Frog Behind the Music and hear Kermit talk about his bacon orgies and fly addiction.

Put a fork in the Columbus Blue Jackets...after blowing a 2 goal lead to Washington last night they stand no chance of making the playoffs. Time to start moving some old dudes to contenders.

What is wrong with this country when a kids decision on where he is going to play college football is a front page story? Somewhere in the country is a kid with fantastic grades and a desire to learn. Someone who could cure cancer or discover alternative fuel sources. But because no one is ponying up big bucks for him to come to their school he's gonna have to join the Air Force or Marine Corp...or the Army...and wind up slaughtered in Iraq. Sure it would be nice if OSU lands Terrelle Pryor but really, why should we care where the kid goes? He plays football. Its not like he has an exit strategy for Iraq. Jesus didn't get this kind of coverage at 17. Here's an idea for the NCAA....while you're coming up with a national playoff, why don't you mandate all your athletes have to carry 2.75 GPA's and make real progress toward a degree.

Is it just me or is there something unnerving about getting 3 inches of rain in February?

Everyone has the flu. Just tell your boss you have it and go home sick.

Have a swell day........

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Won't You Tell Me....

Won't you tell me...where have all the guitar heroes gone? The most popular video game in the universe right now is Guitar Hero, yet, I dare you, DARE YOU, to name one modern guitar hero. I came of age in an era of music where the band was generally judged as much by the quality of the guitar player as it was the singer's voice. We judged guitar players on everything from their riffs, tone, solos, stage presence, and the brand and look of their guitars. For crying out loud, C.C. Deville was a lousy guitar player, yet, we all knew who he was. Quick someone name the guitar player in Nickleback....see, you can't do it. So why is a generation deprived of guitar heroes crazy about a game called Guitar Hero?

Obviously, the game is a lot of fun. The guitar controller itself looks cool. Outside of sports games, I'm not much of a gamer. I struggle at Guitar Hero. But the young people tell me the game play is challenging but not overly so. What's amazing is the songs in Guitar Hero are the songs of my youth.....and more shocking is that the kids playing the game love them. So with a new younger fan base introduced to Iron Maiden, the Sex Pistols, Dio, and others...why aren't kids buying music from real life guitar heroes?

My own guitar playing skills were limited to three chords and a cloud of dust. Yet I read the guitar magazines to learn the ins and outs of their style. My all time favorite "guitar hero" was Stevie Ray Vaughn. Something about that sound and the feeling in his playing still hits home with me nearly 20 years since his death. Eddie Van Halen, before he formed the unholy alliance with Sammy Hagar, boggled the mind. He inspired more kids to pick up a guitar than any other player. I love Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols...his playing was sloppy and simple but it was that fury in his instrument that hooked me. You can hear Steve Jones in Slash's playing. Brian Setzer introduced me to rockabilly and I still look forward to hearing what he's up to. The thing that makes Setzer so great is that he truly gets what the guitar is all about. Its fun. He may not be an innovator like Hendrix or Van Halen, but he's a caretaker of the power of rock music. Last but not least in my top 5 (which does change from time to time) is Tony Iommi. Iommi's playing was beyond heavy. I think I was 15 before I could listen to "War Pigs" or the song "Black Sabbath" while home alone. That was some scary stuff. Amazing tone and just killer riffs. Iommi is truly one of the most underrated guitar players of all time.

I blame a couple of things for the death of the guitar hero...One was Guns and Roses Appetite for Destruction. I consider this record to be the last big rock record ever made. This was the record, not the overrated Nevermind by Nirvana, that killed off hair metal and the guitar heroes. It was raw, it was sloppy, it was about attitude not flash. Slash became a guitar hero but he was more Keith Richards or Joe Perry and less Joe Satriani or Steve Vai. Slash ripped off some great riffs and its those riffs, not the solos, that you remember.

The next thing that killed the guitar hero was MTV....the grunge explosion and MTV's decision to stop running essentially any song that contained a guitar solo did more to end the guitar hero than anything else. A whole generation of musicians was wiped out as quickly as the dinosaurs when the meteor hit. Left in their wake were a bunch of flannel wearing Cobain knockoffs who played joyless, soundalike music in drop D.

While grunge disappeared, its influence continues to be felt in mainstream music (there are still guys who take pride in their guitar playing...but you have to go in search of them...they are the Fuller Brush Men of music). So I see the popularity of the Guitar Hero game as an audience rising up to the music biz and telling them that they've had enough of the soulless and joyless music they've been exposed to since they were a fetus. Since its creation the election guitar has represented joy, fun, self expression, and escape from a mundane life. Many a kid thought to himself "if I could just learn to play the guitar I can get the girl, I can get the fast car, I can get the money." Everyone who has ever put a guitar strap around their shoulder can tell you they feel more confident and powerful with the guitar on...even if it has multicolored buttons and is plugged into a Playstation.

Still...wouldn't the world be better off if the people playing Guitar Hero actually learned how to play a real guitar?

Monday, February 4, 2008


Full disclosure...I woke up yesterday wanting to see the Patriots make history and go undefeated. I went out, picked up the Sunday Cleveland Plain Dealer and staring me right in the face was a giant picture of Bill Belichick from his days with the Browns. Memories of Bernie Kosar being cut and other faves like Brian Brennan and Reggie Langhorne being ridden out of town began racing thru my mind. At that moment, I wanted Belichick to be humbled. Thank you Eli Manning and the New York Giants for making my simple wish to destroy a man's dream come true. The dream of 19-0 is over. 18-1 don't mean a thing if you ain't got that ring.
How nice was it to see Tom Brady spend most of the game on his back? How can any Average Joe football fan root for a guy who dates (and knocks up) super models and actresses? I'm sure the whiny chowder eating Boston fans will blame the Pats loss on Brady's bum ankle but the world's greatest escape artist couldn't escape from that Giants pass rush.
How 'bout Belichick walking off the field with a second left on the clock? If that had been Randy Moss he'd be getting blasted in the media today. A long offseason awaits the Patriots now. They have to deal with the disappointment of coming within 35 seconds of a perfect season. Their linebackers played back in the leather helmet days and may not have much left in the tank. Plus, the "spy gate" thing ain't going away any time soon.
That 4th quarter play where Manning escaped from essentially the entire Continental Army, let alone, the Patriots defense, to hit David Tyree a massive gain to keep the drive alive, may be the greatest play in Super Bowl history. How can you not be happy for Eli Manning? He is finally his brother's equal and an argument can now be made that he might be better than his brother (hey, he did won a Super Bowl in half the time his brother did!). Then again, Trent Dilfer was once won a Super Bowl too. Eli was composed, he took what the defense gave him, and he pulled it out when his team needed him the most. He was sensational and he deserves all the praise being heaped on him today.
While the game was great, the pregame was horrid. Did we really need to hear Jim Brown and other NFL greats read the Declaration of Independence? Did we need Ryan Secreast hosting a red carpet show? The commericals weren't much better. A couple of the Bud Light spots brought a chuckle. I was happy to see Alice Cooper land work in a Bridgestone tire commercial. The spot for the Iron Man movie (which looks way cool) was probably my fave. The FOX studio guys were solid as always. While annoying at times, there is no denying that Bradshaw, Long and Johnson have great chemistry. Someone needs to tell Joe Buck to get over himself tho. I'm sick of that dude.
Fortunately, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers had no wardrobe malfunctions when doing the halftime show. Petty and the boys cranked out 4 of their better known tunes and sounded great. I was happy to see the NFL give the slot to Petty. That dude deserved his moment in the spotlight. The Petty performance ranks up there with Prince and U2 as among the best since the NFL ditched Up with People and decided to make halftime an event.
So now the NFL season is over (who cares about the Pro Bowl?) and its time to get geeked for the start of spring training and another baseball season. With the Jackets blowing any chance of getting to the playoffs by their uninspired play since the All Star game, I'm left with no choice but to get ready for the Indians. Does anyone happen to know the over/under on how many illegitimate kids Tom Brady will sire in the offseason?

Friday, February 1, 2008

Don't Believe the Hype

So here we are, just a couple days away from the Super Bowl. The most overhyped event in America. Mind you, I love me some football. But the Super Bowl and the non stop hype that surrounds it just wears me down and dulls my interest in the game. Maybe I'd feel differently if the Browns ever made it to the game but I could care less if Tom Brady's ankle hurts cuz he nails too many super models. Although the game has been more competitive in recent years, the Super Bowl is historically has been a game of epic blowouts. I predict the same this year. Pats 42 Giants 17.

Now, if the Pats do win and finish the season 19-0, the media is gonna want to crown them the greatest team in the history of the NFL. Again, don't believe the hype. The perfect season by the 72 Dolphins will still be hard to discount cuz they won about 8 games with their backup qb. Could New England run the table with Matt Cassel in the lineup for an injured Tom Brady? What about the 1985 Bears? Sure they lost a game but they remain the most dominant team I've ever seen. Plus, because of how the game changes, its unfair to compare teams from different eras. 19-0 makes the Pats the best team of the free agency era but it doesn't make them the best ever.

Does anyone still care about the Super Bowl commercials? Sure some of them are clever but usually what happens is some marketing wiz comes up with an entertaining ad....but then after its over you have no idea what the hell it was they were trying to sell you.

The Super Bowl is like Chinese tastes good, it fills you up for a bit but then you determine you wish you had eaten something else instead.

Now something that is deserving of the hype is Lost. Last night's season premiere was worth the wait and lived up to my expectations. It is the only show on television that leaves me wanting more.

True or false...other than Live and Let Die, Paul McCartney never wrote a good song after the Beatles broke up? Answer..True.

I love Tom Petty but I don't understand who thought he should the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl.

Everytime you see a commercial during the game for pizza or wings, do a shot.

You know what else is over hyped? The freakin' Oscars. Does anyone, other than film critics, actually see all the nominated films?

The Super Bowl pregame show starts in about 30 minutes....I gotta go pick up some wings and a couple Papa Murphy's....coming next week, we'll take a look at where all the guitar heroes have gone......