Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, November 30, 2007

David Bowie and Bing Crosby

Christmas brings together the most unlikely people. David Bowie stops by his new neighbor Bing's house to borrow a cup of cocaine. Bing, taking a break from brutalizing his children, invites Dave and the two sing, sing, sing.

The Two-Hour Star Wars Holiday Special in only Five Minutes!

Oh how George Lucas wishes he could destroy all copies of this.

The Two-Hour Star Wars Holiday Special in only Five Minutes!

Here's one reason why more people kill themselves during the holidays than during any other time of the year. Think George Lucas would like to get rid of this piece of crap?

Lee Majors Is Tougher Than You Are

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that its come out that there are fake profiles on Facebook that are set up for nothing more than product placement (. honestly if your social life consists of adding friends to your MySpace page or surfing thru Facebook profiles, you deserve to be duped (except for that teenage girl in St. Louis who killed herself...the adults responsible for her suicide ought to be dragged from the back of a truck). I'm an old guy...I have good reason to be jaded by the human race and to find detached ways in which to interact with mankind. What kind of social skills are these MySpace and Facebook users developing? I'm lucky we didn't have the internets when I was a kid. I might not have ever left the house. Back away from the PC kids. Quit surfing for porn and meet real girls. Make some real friends. Oh and kids...while you're at it...put down the Guitar Hero controller and learn to play a Les Paul...what the world needs now more than ever, is a real Guitar Hero.

Best Xmas movie ever? Bill Murray's Scrooged. That opening scene with Lee Majors kills me everytime I see it.

That Seth Rogen is a funny dude. He'll make a fine Green Hornet:

Thrill to the best and worst movie tie ins of the year:,1,6649639.photogallery?coll=la-headlines-entnews&ctrack=1&cset=true

How's come Mel Gibson didn't authorize action figures from his movie the Passion?

Could this be an early gift from Santa? Could the new Bionic Woman be getting cancelled?

Other than beating a hobo with a hammer is there any better way to pass the time than playing the dead, not dead game?:

They sure are viral marketing the hell outta the new Batman flick:

Considering today is the last day of November shouldn't this list actually be called the best 50 films of the first 11 months of 2007?:

If Axl Rose released records like he fought fires Chinese Democracy might have seen the light of day by now:

More details emerge on the sad death of Kevin DuBrow:

Am I the only one who finds something unnatural about Paul Rodgers singing with Queen?:

Why do the Olympics need a mascot? They always suck:

Don't ever mess with fans of Australian rules football:

If you didn't see the Packers/Cowboys game last night, and most of you didn't since it was on the NFL Network..Here's what you missed:

Why is it that the Blue Jackets never take their offense with them to Western Canada?:;_ylt=AoNFt6Xwf.YWvFy8bdWDs.w5nYcB?gid=2007112922&prov=ap

Have a swell weekend kids.........

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Brian Setzer - Run Rudolph Run

Christmas sucks but Brian Setzer makes it swing. The BSO could play the phone book and make it sound good.

Oh Those Canadian PSA's

This has actually been running during Hockey Night in Canada.

Pardon My Dust

Pardon my dust as we remodel but the blog is still open during the redesign. As you may have noticed I've changed the layout (again). I'm kinda digging this look. I think its a little easier to read.

No one would be surprised if I died and no one discovered my body for days but I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that Kevin DuBrow was dead for six days before anyone noticed. Las Vegas TV ran a story yesterday with DuBrow's fiancee who says she has last talked to the Quiet Riot front man last Monday. His body was found on Sunday after Glenn Hughes became concerned and started calling around from Los Angeles. Hughes became concerned when DuBrow was a no show for a party at Hughes house in LA. After DuBrow didn't return phone calls, Hughes called someone to bust into DuBrow's house. My question is this....You don't hear from your fiancee for 6 days....including over Thanksgiving....and you never once think something is out of the ordinary? What kind of kooky woman was Kevin DuBrow engaged to? You can go here to get a look at her and see the TV story:
Or you can go here and see her MySpace page:

I hate Jay Leno. He's about as unfunny as being dead for six days and nobody noticing. However, NBC has done something cool. With the writers strike NBC has dug up old Tonight Shows with Leno from as far back as 1992. If you missed 'em you can watch them online here:

Who else is interested when I say the words "group sex" and Eliza Dushku?:,0,7048371.story?coll=la-home-entertainment

Rolling Stone ranks the top 25 live rock records of all time...Kiss Alive better be on there...and Kiss Alive II.....but not Kiss Alive 3...that one kinda sucks:

Who would have thought Morrissey and Lou Dobbs would have so much in common?

For my money, the most underrated songwriter of the sixties was John Fogerty. The war in Iraq seems to have lit a creative fire under the CCR frontman's ass:

You know who else was underrated? The Band. Levon Helm is back:;_ylt=Albi9vi3QTmBPC1CvNm46cmVEhkF

If you needed another reason to hate Lynyrd Skynyrd, you can use the fact that the band's drummer is a sexual offender who doesn't like to register with the law:;_ylt=Ahy3KS2frUfbTyc86R5_z6mVEhkF

More trouble for internet radio:

Ron Shelton, who brought us Bull Durham, now brings us a movie on America's favorite cheater Barry Bonds:

Here's a good look at the Cleveland Indians new uniforms. I'm underwhelmed:

Who would you rather be shot in the face by? Dick Cheney or Bob Knight?:

Am I the only person who doesn't gamble on sporting events online? $7 million waged on a tennis match? If you wanna throw money away people just hand it over to me:

Did you ever notice how this time of year the news media recycles the same tired holiday stories? Now you can make a game of it!:

I'm off to go watch that Canadian PSA again.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful

I never thought I'd live long enough to see Dee Snider join the likes of Andy Williams and Johnny Mathis.

Is Christmas Over Yet?

Have I mentioned I hate Christmas? I didn't always hate Christmas. Of course I loved it as a kid. But at some point my feelings changed. I didn't like it but I tolerated it. Like the way you tolerate the tv shows your wife watches. You don't like them but you sit there with her watching because she's somehow happy that you've feigned interest to do something with her. I admit I do enjoy getting stuff for kids for Xmas. Especially when they are still of age to believe in Santa Claus. I think I hate Christmas because like nearly every other aspect of life its been ruined by adults and consumerism. Every day I'm subjected to Xmas music coming from the cube of my neighbor at work. The whole day. Does anyone need to listen to that much Xmas music? Other people are bringing in special holiday themed coffee mugs. Why? What was wrong with your other mug? Its good for coffee in August but not in December? Heck its not even December yet and its Xmas 24/7. If life came with a fast forward button, I'd zoom ahead to January. Hell has gotta feel a lot like the holiday season. Only warmer.

The mainstream media is finally covering the death of Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow:,0,3256507.story?coll=la-home-entertainment

Joe Namath is my favorite athlete of all time. I wish I could afford a Namath throwback jersey. I wish Jake Gyllenhaal wasn't playing him in a new film. Let the "Brokeback Quarterback" jokes begin now:

The DVR was poised to make commercials obsolete. Thanks to 30 Rock that dream has died. Curse you Tina Fey!:

Here's 20 songs about killers:

Am I the only person geeked up about the new Indiana Jones movie?:

If Britney Spears dies I'll be as surprised as I was when Redskins safety Sean Taylor got shot...which was not very. You just sort of expect it based on past history. Still, the reports that Britney has a special "fantasy" room in her house are kinda cool:

They said it wouldn't last....Van Halen has announced more 2008 tour dates including two stops in Ohio:

We never had guest speakers like this at my school:

The Black Crowes are coming back and waging war:

Most thankless job in sport? GM of Toronto Maple Leafs:

One of the best names in sports may be at the end of the road...Duvie Westcott's egg is seriously scrambled:

Ichiro almost became a Yankee. Then his wife spoke up:

Man I feel old when I read stuff like this:

I'm off to figure out what the hell figgy pudding is.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Quiet Riot@ the US Festival

Ah nothing says 80's excess like the US Festival....Bang Your Head in honor of Kevin DuBrow

An all too quiet riot

While the mainstream media is jammed up this morning with stories on the death of Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor, I'm still bumming about the death of Quiet Riot frontman Kevin DuBrow. I can only attribute my mourning to the natural emotions rational people experience in relation to death and to my own selfishness. DuBrow's death has left me feeling incredibly old and mortal. I've been fortunate in that I haven't had too much personal experience with death. Obviously, I'm still alive (or typing this from the great beyond which would be damn me the Ghost Blogger!).All my immediate family is still kickin'. My grandparents had the decency to die before I was born thus sparing me the trauma of their passing during my lifetime. So since no one close to me ever bothers to die (and I thank you for that), I'm left to mourn the metal gods of my youth.

I've been shocked that the internet chat concerning DuBrow has been overwhelmingly positive. This is a guy who at the height of his fame made a habit of slagging other bands. His controversial statements adorned the cover of all the metal mags of the early 80's (O.M.O.M. you may have my complete collections of Metal Edge, Hit Parader, Circus and Kerrang upon my passing). While he went about it the wrong way, DuBrow was right back then. Without Quiet Riot and Metal Health going to number one on the album charts, bands like Motley Crue, Ratt and Poison may have never been signed or if signed, not promoted like they were. Among the cyber mourners I've seen so far are LA Guns Tracii Guns, who posted over at Metal Sludge, and Glenn Hughes, who shares his thoughts over at

So Kevin DuBrow, Sean Taylor.....we need a third celeb to complete the death trinity. I'd like to place my bet on comedian Rush Limbaugh (hey a guy can dream can't he?).

What's up with all the new music documentaries? And why is the Decline and Fall of Western Civilization the Metal Years out on DVD?:

Its that time of the year already where the "best of" lists come out. I think of the 100 records on this best of 2007, I own 2:

Try as I might, I just can't get used to Dee Snider joining the ranks of Andy Williams, Perry Como and Johnny Mathis as Xmas time vocalists:

Bruce Springsteen and Win Butler share the cover of the new issue of Spin:

I've been told the Wire is one of the best shows on TV. This was said to me by the one person who has actually seen it. What if the Wire had starred sports personalities instead of Mark Wahlberg's co-star from Rock Star?:

For those of you who were missing new episodes of Last Call with Carson Daly, worry no more, its back (and writer free):

In news that can only mean the writers strike is gonna end soon Chuck and Life, my fave new show of the season, have been renewed for a full season:

How can ya have a Food Network without Emeril?:

West Virginia, the state that perfected inbreeding, now has a minor league baseball team that is making no attempt to hide its racist nickname...get your white Power jersey here:

Oh but wait...don't miss out on the chance to get your black Power pullover:

I'm wondering if the Power schedule will feature such promotions as drag a black man from the back of your car night or if they'll hand out free hoods to the first 1000 fans. I bet David Duke throws out the first pitch.....

Stomp your hands, clap your feet.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Quiet Riot - Slick Black Cadillac (RockPop in concert, 1983)

RIP Kevin Dubrow

Bang Your Head in Silence

Metal Sludge is reporting that Quiet Riot singer Kevin Dubrow died over the weekend. The news has left me strangely sad. I wasn't a huge QR fan in fact I wouldn't have considered myself a fan at all. If you came of age in the 80's you couldn't escape Quiet Riot. Copies of Metal Health were sent to everyone who lived in the suburbs like samples of Tide. They were the first Metal band to ever have a number one record and if you didn't like Metal (or at least pretend to) where I grew up, you might as well have been an open homosexual. You would have been ostracized from society.

Before Kanye vs 50 Cent, before East Coast vs West Coast there was Kevin Dubrow versus the world. He was not afraid to voice his opinions on the competition in his genre of music. His inability to keep his mouth shut resulted in him being fired from the band he founded only to return when the other members realized that, love him or hate him, Quiet Riot was Kevin Dubrow. In later years it was obvious that Dubrow loved what he did. While the Jon Bon Jovi's of the world hide from their hard rock years as if they were embarassed, Dubrow continued to embrace his band's history. They put out new records (which didn't sell much), toured constantly (and played everything from state fairs to bars in BFE) and changed lineups like Spinal Tap changed drummers. For the past few years only Dubrow and drummer Frankie Banali remained from the original lineup. Dubrow's voice and QR's Slade covers were part of the soundtrack of my childhood. Without the success of Quiet Riot and the Metal Health record, the whole landscape of 80s music might have been completely different. So bang your head, and raise the dead......:

In other news:

I absolutely despise Christmas. Damn consumerism run amok. I hate Christmas music more than I hate any other genre. Still I find this story on today's cost of the 12 days of Xmas to be interesting:

I also hate TV networks. I don't understand why, with the writer's strike on going, that NBC would cancel any moderately performing show. Journeyman is one of my fave new shows but it looks like its journey is at an

Jackie the Joke Man doesn't miss Howard Stern:

Extreme is reuniting:

Enuff Znuff's Donnie Vie is selling an acoustic version of the band's 2nd record Strength on his website. Vie says he'll be going on the road for the first time in years with Enuff Znuff early in 2008. Go to for details.

Led Zeppelin has finally discovered the 21st century...the band has its own website:

Pretty good sports weekend for me...Browns win again, Buckeyes could land a spot in BCS title game by not playing, and the Blue Jackets finally found a way to beat the Red Wings. Plus, my fantasy football team has gone on a 5 game winning streak and I'm looking like the team to beat at playoff team. Sadly it wasn't a pefect sports weekend as I forgot to call my bookie to place a bet on the Grey Cup...go Roughriders!:

I love it when announcers don't realize they are on the air and say stupid things:

I'm off to go blare some Quiet Riot....

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Things I'm Thankful For

What are you thankful for this year? Is it for your family, health, or full head of hair?

Me I'm thankful to live in an era of flat screen tv's and hundreds of television channels. I'm thankful for satellite radio, internet porn, the NHL, MLB, and the NFL. I'm thankful for point spreads and fantasy football. Video games and Star Trek XI. I'm thankful for dvds and being free of STD's. I'm thankful that the Browns found Derek Anderson and for the E Street Band. I'm thankful for most of my friends, some of my wives and all of my children. I'm thankful to be this intelligent, this handsome, and for being so full of myself I can admit that to the world.

Are there any good tv marathons on for the holiday?

Doesn't Rosie O'Donnell look fat enough to be a balloon in the Macy's Parade?

J-E-T-S..Jets, us your bleep....A security crackdown is coming to Giants Stadium after some rowdy fans turned Jets games into a Girls Gone Wild video:

Oh the New York you suck so:

Man, Thanksgiving just isn't for football anymore...look at all these basketball games:

You know my love of's a list of the 50 greatest fictional weapons:

Freddie Mercury is still dead but Brian May is alive and is now a chancellor of a university:

Does anyone actually drink these Jones Sodas?:

Rolling Stone has compiled a list of rocker/actors who dont' suck...I'm hoping Ozzy made the list...he was brilliant as a minister in Trick or Treat:

I'm off to do good deeds.....Have a great Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

E Street Shuffle?

This morning I'm sooooooooooo glad I made it to the Cleveland stop on the first leg of Bruce Springsteen's world tour. The internets have been abuzz with rumors that last night was the last show for E Street Band organist Danny Federici. Looking at this video from the first leg finale in Boston, something is definitely going on:
The tour resumes next Sunday in Madrid so some sort of official announcement should be made by then. I can't imagine the E Street Band without Danny's Jersey Shore soaked organ sound.

As I prepare to indulge in my favorite sin, gluttony, I'm reminded that many are hungry today and every day. Its the issue of poverty that makes me support John Edwards for President. There are lots of folks out there on the front lines doing God's work. If you can, help out the folks at WHY, World Hunger Year:
Or if you'd rather help out closer to home, the Mid Ohio Foodbank needs your help too:

This headline says the Iowa primary is currently a tight race...isn't that sorta like me saying the Super Bowl is currently tied? We're several months away from both...doesn't the media have real news stories to cover?:

Am I so out of touch that I do not grasp the popularity of Kanye West? Every day I see another story about the death of his mother. I didn't realize Kanye had evolved from the "George Bush hates black people" guy to national icon:,0,77097.story?coll=chi_tab01_layout

Have you watched these webisodes of Lost yet? I haven't...but I hear they suck:

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing Showtime...I guess Flea doesn't approve of the L Word:

IGN ranks the Top 100 video games of all time:

I like George Takei. But he really needs to shut his pie hole:

According to those who pay attention to such things, this writers strike is just like the last one:

You've been bashed over the head with it since the day you left the womb, tonight you can experience first hand the horror that is sure to be Frank TV:

Why am I not surprised that Bill Nye the Science Guy would get beaten up by a woman?:,,20161577,00.html

Go on..tell the owned some of these shoes didn't you?:

Experience the funniest Pittsburgh Penguins blog on the planet:

I'm exhausted...have a swell Tuesday.

Monday, November 19, 2007

This Blog Sucks

Some changes are coming to the blog to make it suck less....cuz lets face it, it would be hard for it to suck more.

I usually avoid these types of stories. However after reading it I've decided to share. Makes me think Myspace ought to be taken down for good. I hope that the people responsible for what happened to this girl choke on their Thanksgiving turkey:

Here's another reason why you don't want to visit New Jersey...if you witness a crime, the police can't keep ya safe:

I respect John McCain for his service in Vietnam and losing all those years as a POW must be an awful cross to bear. Despite that, I think John McCain just might be the most dangerous man running for President. He's f'ing crazy:

If McCain gets the nomination, he should consider Crispin Glover for his running mate:

Lying can make you a lot of money. Ask Faux News anchor Shephard Smith:

Bob Dylan is recruiting artists to finish Hank Williams final songs:

I'm a little tired of the celeb cameo on the Simpsons. Jack Black was fine last night but his story just stopped. Now comes word that Britney Spears might be getting the Simpsons treatment:

This might be your only chance to get tix to see Led Zep's reunion next month:

The American Music Awards summary goes like this...Made for TV stars win made for tv awards:

And they said it wouldn't last...Van Halen's pseudo-Reunion tour will continue in to 2008 as new tour dates have been added:

Meet the latest talented member of the Finn family, Neil Finn's son Liam has a new record out:

The Blue Jackets never run out of ways to lose to the Red Wings:

If you didn't see the kick that sent the Browns game into overtime, please click here:

I haven't paid much attention to the NBA..but I have to say with the Hollywood writers on strike, fans of Desperate Housewives would enjoy the scandal ridden New York Knicks. Looks like its the end for Isiah Thomas:

Thats all I've got. I'll try not to phone it in tomorrow.

Crabcakes and Losing...Thats What Maryland Does!

How 'bout that Browns game yesterday? A Hollywood writer would have been hard pressed to write an ending like that one. The Browns blow a 13 point lead in the 4th quarter and find themselves trailing by 3 with 26 seconds when Brian Billick proves yet again that he is the biggest, most arrogant azzhole not named Barry Bonds in professional sports. The Ravens (for now) head coach elects to kick off to Josh Cribbs instead of ordering a squib kick. Cribbs only 300 return yards. Even Stevie Wonder could have seen the squib kick was the way to go. Not Billick. Cribbs gives the Browns great field position and a couple plays later Phil Dawson is knocking thru a 51 yard field goal that hits an upright, then the back post of the standard and then comes bouncing back onto the playing field. One ref stands there, another rules no good. Yada, yada, yada, after a 5 minute review the kick is ruled good.
Proving again that he's an idiot, Billick elects in overtime to kick off to Cribbs again. Same story...great field position, yada, yada, yada...Dawson hits field goal and Browns win. In the words of the great philosopher Homer (Simpson) In your face Baltimore!
More to come......

Friday, November 16, 2007

RIP Ol' Left-hander...Burn Bonds Burn

Reds broadcaster Joe Nuxhall, the youngest person to ever play in the Major Leagues (he was 15) died last night after a lengthy illness. Love him or leave him, Nuxie was a a staple of the Reds franchise. Me, I always thought the ol' left hander sounded like he was in the bag when he was on the air. Despite that I preferred him to his windbag partner Marty Brennaman (who has never been able to adjust to the Reds on field decline and loses interest quickly into each disappointing season). Nuxie truly enjoyed what he did, he loved the Reds and based on this artile, the feeling was mutual:

While Joe Nuxhall was good for baseball, the same can't be said about Barry Bonds. The fat headed home run champ has been indicted for lying to a grand jury and obstruction of justice. Professional sports reigning jackass has caused everyone who loves baseball to be suspicious of the on field product:

So my solution, and quite honestly, its the only thing I can think of to save America's past time, is that Bonds must be executed for his crime. Drawn, quartered and then roasted like a chicken at Kenny Rogers house (the singer, not the Tigers pitcher). With all steroid users now facing execution (or at the very least some kind of primitive catapult device which will toss them a great distance into a pit of fire), baseball becomes cheater free.

You can now order Papa John's pizza via text message...because calling in the order is so 20th century:

Oh those Asians and their wacky toilet themed restaurants:

Seth Rogen? Kevin Smith? I'm so there:

Fresh from an appearance in South Park's Imaginationland trilogy, Tron is poised to return to theaters...A nation can only wonder why:

The late night talk show hosts might be making a comeback:

That Katie Couric is a real bitch..:

You're making a movie about Hugh Hefner who do you cast? How about that freak Tom Cruise? But he doesn't even like girls!:

This Led Zeppelin reunion is now officially out of hand...83,000 pounds for a ticket? Get a life people:

Why is Slash playing Sweet Child o' Mine newsworthy?:

Ya know whats wrong with English soccer (everything?)? Its those damn foreigners!:

First it was Lance Armstong and an Olsen its Troy Aikman and Hannah Montana?:

I understand there is a big game up in Ann Arbor tomorrow. The Columbus Dispatch has full coverage (of course):

The Michigan crowd is plotting a Maize out...whatever the hell that is:

Meanwhile some kool aid drinkin' Buckeye fans still think OSU has a shot at the national title. I mean its possible that every team ranked ahead of them go down in a fiery plane crash like Marshall but I doubt it:

Channel 4 informed me this morning that notorious Buckeye whore Mindy Drayer will be broadcasting live from Ann Arbor tomorrow. Hey Wolverine fans....would you do me a favor? For a prank I think it would be great if you held on to her...maybe forced her to sing the U of M fight song and post it on YouTube or something. If you could do that I'd appreciate it. Thanks. do you get a Michigan grad off of your porch? You pay him for the pizza he's delivering. Go (yawn) team!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Kill Me...Like Tom Cruise Has Killed His Career

Another sleepless night due to this stupid cold. Up all night hacking. Finally gave up and again turned on the TV but found something to watch this time. HBO has a new documentary on the OSU/Michigan rivalry. Good stuff.

Is there anything more American than rooting for someone successful to fail? I relish watching the fall of Tom Cruise. I used to like the guy. Thought Rain Man was a great flick. Thought he was brilliant in Born on the Fourth of July and Magnolia. I think Losin' It is the most underrated teen sex comedy of all time. I don't know if I've ever watched someone fall further faster than Tiny Tom. I think the public backlash against him can be pinpointed on three events: The Trapped in the Closet episode of South Park, the rumored pissing contest he got into with Paramount over another episode of South Park that skewered Scientology and then the epic, "you're glib Matt" battle with Matt Lauer on the Today show. While Tommy Boy's latest flick is about to move into 2nd run theaters after only being out 3 weeks, it looks like his next flick also appears to be a stinker:

I realized Africa had a lot of troubles...famine, AIDS, lousy tv we find out its the year 1620 there as people are being cast out as witches:

Why is it crap like Perfect Strangers can come out on DVD but a quality show like Ed can't see the light of day?

Speaking of baffling decisions, here is a list of the 25 most baffling toys:

Here's one of the top ten reasons Dave Letterman is a good dude...he's paying his employees during the writers strike:

This new Terminator TV series could be really cool...provided they are able to produce it with the writers strike and all:,,20160052,00.html

I loved Get Smart as a kid...I love Steve Carrell now...if this movie takes off maybe he can take on another Don Adams role for the Tennessee Tuxedo movie:

Blender has a list of the 100 best Indie Rock records of all time:

The Beatles finally appear ready to enter the 21st century:

The LA Clippers dance team has got some serious game:

Does anyone still give a damn about the OSU/Michigan game? The loss to Illinois has kept people pretty quiet about "the game" this week:

The Dead Schembechlers are looking to play a gig in Ann Arbor:

You know what lifts my spirits? Watching Mark Messier cry:

BrokePack mountain? Who knew Packers fans were 100 percent gay?:

I'm off to go hunt and kill whoever created Perfect Strangers. Enjoy your Thursday.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Late Night Tellyvision

So I'm still battling this damn cold. I took the O.M.O.M.'s advice and tried garlique...I still have my cold but I've gone 24 hours without being attacked by vampires so it did have some benefit.

I woke up 3 times last night. Each time felt like an eternity. Do you realize just how little quality programming is on late night television? Of course, all the late night talk shows are in reruns due to the writers strike. You get past 1230 AM tho you're completely screwed if you're looking for something to watch. Tv is jammed up with informercials and Girls Gone Wild commercials. There is one infomercial that is quite entertaining. This cute Amerasian girl and a skanky white chick discuss and sell sex toys. Last night I ended up watching the last half of Deep Space Nine on Spike (shame that show only airs at 2AM..tho I do have all 7 seasons on DVD so why am I complaining?) then turned it over for TNT's NYPD Blue marathon. TNT also runs marathons of the X Files and Law & Order over nights. Nick at Nite used to be a good place for insomniacs to turn but I refuse to watch any channel that shows Growing Pains. Kirk Cameron is a bitch.

When I saw there was a scandal involving Oral Roberts, I figured it was another Republican gay sex scandal:

Say it isn't so...Fox News pressuring someone to lie to protect a Republican?:

In an era in which wars are waged over falsified intelligence, is it really shock that presidential candidates would answer staged questions?:

This handy dandy chart lets you know how many episodes of your favorite tv shows are left:

Toss in an appearance by mini-Kiss and this is a flawless concert lineup:

If you're still watching Heroes, here's a chance to create your own Hero:

If these upcoming reality shows aren't proof we need tv writers, I don't know what it is:,0,3555552.story?coll=zap-news-headlines

Family Guy is going ahead with production without Seth MacFarlane...but I'm not sure exactly what that means...:

Nappy headed ho lover Don Imus has found a new tv home...on the RFD Network...What the F? I thought he'd end up on BET:

Have you music lovers tried out Songza yet?:

For all of you who wanted a Blind Faith reunion, here ya go:

Jimmy Page hints at a full scale Led Zep tour:

It takes one to know one...Gene Simmons is writing a book on the history of whores:

The Colts radio broadcasters were in denial the other night when their team lost:

Professional athletes should never appear on the Bubba the Love Sponge show. Just ask Aubrey Huff:

Congrats to Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia, the fattest man to ever win the Cy Young Award. Red Sox fans are whining like the pissy little chowder eating beyotches they are:

Here's your chance to participate in Playboy's Sexiest Sports Announcer in America contest..and yes this is safe for work:

Thank Jebus Brent Musburger isn't on the list...I'm off to go coat my body in Vick's Vap-o-Rub

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Snot Rockets

I'm sick of having a cold. I'm in my 2nd week of this and I'm sick of being sick. I can't sleep at night. I'm tired of taking cold medicine. My throat is scratchy, my eyes are watery and I'm producing snot like Saudi Arabia produces oil. I've purchased so much Advil Cold and Sinus I'm under surveillance for possibly running a crystal meth lab.

Can you believe the big Thanksgiving holiday is next week? This year has flown by. Before you know it ABC will be trotting out Dick Clark's corpse to ring in another new year.

I'm totally geeked out this new JJ Abrams Star Trek movie. A spy has caught the first pics of Zachary Quinto as Spock...what do you think? Kinda looks like Nimoy doesn't he?:

Lots of geeks lined up for the chance to be in the new Trek movie:,0,4398194.story?coll=la-home-entertainment

The original Star Trek pilot the Menagerie is being shown in HD on the big screen tonight across the U.S. I'd love to go but the AMC Easton wants $12.50 a ticket:

I've always been more of a DC guy but you can bet your azz I'm gonna check this out...Marvel Comics has put 2500 comics up online:

Some cracks starting to show in the Writer's Strike? Soap writers cross the picket lines:

Reaper is one of the best shows on TV today but I guess that ain't enough for some people:

Speaking of quality tv....the season finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm was a riot. The last two minutes had me rolling...sounds like we're gonna get two more years of Larry David too:

What's the big deal about Project Runway?

Boy George got arrested for chaining a man to his wall. I tell ya, you can't make this crap up.;_ylt=Ajc0OLPG5R.qjptkvcnzIsBb.nQA

This new Gibson robotguitar kicks azz...:

Do we really need anything else from the Who?:

Prince really is a royal pain in the azz isn't he?:

The first presidential candidate that advocates the execution of Sebastian Bach gets my vote:

How much did the Jackets suck last night? Answer: VERY. The Jackets sucked very much last night:

Who thought giving Gary Bettman a radio call in show was a good idea?:

Ebay says Red Sox fans can't bid on Terry Francona's wad...of chew:

Anyone up for a game of leaf blower hockey?:

I'm off to take some Nyquil and to crack open another box of Puffs. Have a fun day.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Soccer...Yep, Its that Gay

This video is a hoot.

Where am I? *Updated*

See if you can find me in this picture....I'll give you a hint...if you look at the front of the picture, then look for the lady in the very bright neon green....thats where I'll be.
O-H!......I said O-H!...What's that? Still in a bad mood about Ohio State getting their azzez kicked by Illinois? You shouldn't be. As I've said all season long they aren't that good. Its just with their MAC heavy schedule and a lousy Big 10 conference that their weaknesses weren't exploited. Buckeye Nation you should be pleased....losing to Illinois spares you a 7 TD loss to LSU in the national title game. Fearless prediction...if Mike Hart plays OSU gets drilled again on Saturday and its Hello Capital One Bowl!
Best part of Ohio State's loss? Knowing that Mindy Drayer would be at home crying that night. Worst part of Ohio State's loss? Knowing I wouldn't be able to lick up her tears or feel them fall down my face like rain. How this woman can be a large market news anchor while wearing a Brutus Buckeye costume on the air is beyond me. Yesterday with her voice cracking Mindy implored Ohio State fans not to give up as "Our Buckeyes need us now more than ever!" Its people like her that make me root against Ohio State.
Lost in all the media coverage about the Hollywood screenwriters strike is a strike by Broadways stage hands. Of course, the only people effected by the stage hand strike are tourists, who are reduced to being sightseers, and homosexuals who now find themselves incredibly bored:
Lost's Damon Lindeloff wrote a nice Op-Ed in yesterdays NYTimes:
Here's a nice play by play review of the Springsteen show in DC last night:
Here's a reach...Mick Jagger's son may play his big lipped Dad in a Rolling Stones movie bio:
The suspect in the murder of the Ramones manager says she was forced to confess:
Here are some mild spoilers on the plot of the new Star Trek movie:
This year the NHL season began in London, next year it looks like its Stockholm:
If, like me, you've wondered how Gary Bettman has kept his job, wonder no more. A 23% increase in franchise values makes for happy owners:
Take a look at this to see what Wyoming thought of Utah's onside kick attempt while the Utes were up 43-0:
Its official...LeBron James is now an asshole. Take a look at his new tattoo:
That's all I've got time for today....gotta go do what Mindy Drayer says and channel my energy toward the Buckeyes.

Friday, November 9, 2007

So Ya Wanna Start a Crystal Meth Lab.........

I hate having a cold. I mean, I don't know of anyone who actually enjoys having a stuffed up head, sore throat or cough...but I especially hate being sick. Mainly because it doesn't happen to me all that often. My immune system is god like. I go into Meijer this morning to buy some Advil Cold and Sinus medicine and its nowhere to be found. I completely forgot that nearly half of the over the counter cold remedies are now kept at the pharmacy. Stupid Crystal Meth labs are ruining my cold medicine experience. I actually had to show photo id and sign a waiver promising not to make bathtub speed out it before I could buy the stuff. I realized the meth freaks were stealing the stuff off the shelves but to show id to buy Advil? That's crazy...but that wasn't the craziest thing I experienced at Meijer this AM....I'm convinced I crossed paths with a female to male transsexual...incredibly disturbing.

I'm one of the most liberal minded people I know but even I draw a line at someone crazy enough to have their genitals mutilated. Don't get me wrong I appreciate the humor value of the transsexual....I still laugh whenever I think of King Kobra singer Marc Free becoming Marcie Free or that Rhino Buckets drummer became a hideously unattractive woman named Jackie, however I find the subject of transsexuals to be more disturbing than Siamese or Parasitic twins or anything else you can find at the Circus freak show.

Have you upgraded to the next generation of DVD player yet? Me neither. Sony's CEO says the HD DVD-Blu Ray battle is a stalemate:

I'm leaning toward HD DVD...thats what the porn industry went with.....Hey, they were right when it came to VHS over Beta! When in doubt, choose porn.

Did you see Al Gore on 30 Rock last night? Very funny episode:

Woke up in the middle of the night to find that Carson Daly still has a late night tv show.....starring guests I'd never heard of. What deal with the devil did Carson Daly broker to become a celebrity? The guy has less talent and charisma then a Mexican food and draft beer induced bowel movement.

Remember when Winona Ryder used to be a big star? Me neither...but she's signed up to play Spock's mom in the new Trek Movie....:

Is it just me or does Fred Claus look like it could be the biggest piece of shit you've ever seen?

Mr Lovett goes to lobby for radio royalties:;_ylt=AjXEJ6CfQlV2m1811kFYM7BxFb8C

Why would anyone be surprised that the Sex Pistols reunion is shite?:

Speaking of shite reunions, the message boards have been buzzing the last two weeks that the Van Halen reunion seems to have hit a rocky patch. Rumors of Eddie Van Halen's temper tantrums and lousy guitar playing have been the subject of many topic over on Metal Sludge.

Was never a big fan but Testament's catalog is being reissued:

Sometimes the comments people leave on stories are better than the actual story itself. Like this one on Chris Cornell. I like do others.....and just as many dislike him...a lot:

My favorite story of the year....A girl is suing the St. Louis Cardinals over a message on the Cards scoreboard that indicate that the girl, or at least someone who shared her initials, has an STD:

As if signing off on Dane Cook being its spokesman didn't hurt its fans enough, now MLB is ripping them off to boot:

If you've been busy wondering which college mascots are sons of Abraham and which aren't, wonder no more:

Your Columbus Blue Jackets have their first big game of the season tonight as they tangle with the Detroit Red Wings:

Half of Mike and Mike admits to using steroids....and if you guessed its the Mike who played in the NFL you wouldn't be wrong:

Thats all the crap I have time to look for....I have a crank factory to set up.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

See if you can find me.....

I was all excited when I heard video was posted from the Springsteen show the other night. Sadly, someone's head is blocking the area I occupied up by the stage. Oh well, hopefully more will surface. After all, I've already downloaded 2 bootlegs from the same show.

Devil's Arcade

Congratulations Dubya...not only have you waged an unnecessary war you have also overseen the first 9 Trillion Dollar deficit in United States history. Under the stewardship of this jackass from the Lone Star state, the American dollar has been devalued to the point that its worth less than the Canadian dollar. Oil will pass 100 bucks a barrel in the next few days and $4 a gallon gas is in our future. To all of you idiots who decided to vote for morals over common sense in the 2000 and 2004 elections...thanks a lot you bastards.

Obviously, I'm in a bad mood today. Is there anything worse than the common cold? Well sure cancer is pretty bad and I hear AIDS sucks too but in terms of maladies I've personally suffered from, nothing is worse than the (not so) common cold I have right now. I feel like my head is gonna bust open.

Remember the size of the JC Penney Christmas catalog when you were a kid? The thing was the size of the Los Angeles yellow pages. Have you seen the 2007 version? Its about as big as an issue of Entertainment Weekly. And not a double sized Fall movie preview edition of EW either. Whats even more shocking is people still order from catalogs at all.

Why does the headline "Toy Linked to Date Rape Drug Recalled" make me laugh so hard?:

Who knew that the New York Times covered Death Metal?:

Can we please get off the Ron Paul bandwagon? Sure he's refreshing in that he seems to sincerely believe in his positions on the issues, HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that the man is a borderline lunatic...and it appears a nearly broke lunatic at that:

I generally don't mention crap like this but how can anyone resist a bitch fight between George Clooney and Fabio?:

I don't know if a Borat book was really necessary but a recent Borat book signing sounds like a good time....especially since some idiots seemed to think it was an event to bring children to:

Please tell me you saw last night's South Park in which Parker and Stone skewer our nation's stupid Guitar Hero obsession:

Haven't priests inflicted enough damage on the nation? Weren't their impersonations of Michael Jackson enough? Now one has been busted for stalking Conan O'Brien:

Ever walked out of a movie? I can only remember doing it once...Dirty Rotten Scoundrels:,,20158993,00.html

Production began yesterday on the JJ Abrams Star Trek movie. Bruce Greenwood has just signed on for the last major role....:

Guess that WalMart exclusive Eagles cd ain't so exclusive. Virgin Megastore is carrying it as well.

XM has launched an all Zeppelin channel, however, XM still sucks.

Whenever a team says its a "small market" franchise that's usually a politically correct way of saying to fans "we're cheap." However in the case of your Columbus Blue Jackets (who reverted to their old CBJ ways last night) its true:

Its bad enough that the NHL is stuck on Versus but do they have to share the network with that giant douche Dennis Miller? Or is he turd sandwich Dennis Miller? Either way he sucks.:

Hey Don Shula...shut the f up already:

I'm off to go find me some of those date rape drug toys before they are gone for good........

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Who Wants to Hump a Newsbabe?

With the tv writers on strike, an idea hit me for a new game show....Who Wants to Hump a TV Newsbabe? A new reality show where contestants compete to hump a newsbabe. Have you noticed the quality of newsbabes at both the local and national level? The quality of our local newsbabes is at an all time high. All the newsbabes on channel 4 are completely humpable. Tell me you wouldn't love to compete for the opportunity go give some breaking news to Maureen Kocot....

Here are my thoughts on yesterdays election....Who the hell is gonna replace these poll workers? No one under the age of 90 works the polls which leads me to worry that our nations poll workers are going extinct. If we don't conserve our poll workers we'll lose our democracy.

Speaking of news chicks, don't ya hope that the Today Show's Ann Curry gets stuck in the South Pole?

Here's how wonderful the internet is....I go see Bruce Springsteen on Sunday...on Tuesday night I have a bootleg copy of the show downloaded on to my computer. Every day I thank Jebus for letting me live in an industrialized nation with broadband access.

No surprise here..most of the people who downloaded the new Radiohead cd paid the same thing I did for the Springsteen boot...NOTHING:

The South Park Imaginationland Trilogy is coming out on DVD:

Check out the trailer for the latest Morgan Spurlock flick What Would Jesus Buy?:

Why do people waste time and money remaking perfect movies? First it was Psycho, then Planet of the Apes..up next the Day the Earth Stood Still and now comes news of a High Noon remake:

CBS is gearing up to have Big Brother ready to go in winter if the writers strike isn't resolved:

What brought Led Zeppelin together? Love of music? Nope. A desire to conquer the world? Nope. The answer can be found here:

Somebody please explain to me why every time I go to a music website there is something on there about Amy Winehouse? Enough already. She's not that damn good. In fact she sucks.

Billboard changes its rules so the Eagles can have a number one record:

Why is Prince a royal asshole?:

This ain't good...After losing in the NCAA title game in March, the basketball Buckeyes lose an exhibition game to Division II Findlay:;_ylt=Agu5bAvYgtKdeveTvDQh6Bo5nYcB?slug=ap-findlay-ohiost&prov=ap&type=lgns

Meet the NHL's all DUI team:

You'd look like this if you were married to Kathie Lee too:

What are the Vegas odds that Eric Lindros will get a concussion while announcing his retirement?:

Thats all I have for today...I'm off to get me some duct tape and go out hunting for newsbabes