Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Mayhem:The Go-Go's- Vacation (live 2000)

Oh like you wouldn't have nailed at least two or three of them! Belinda Carlisle is the only person I've ever known of that claims doing coke made her chubby.

Random Crap Friday

Nothing like the last work day before a well deserved vacation. It has been at least 15 months since I've had a work free week.....life will be good....for at least 7 days. The blog will be updated next week but the update times may vary depending on sleeping habits, household chores and various appointments set up during the week. Monday I'll take my final exam ever at THE Ohio State University and I'll cap off my vacation week with my college graduation next Sunday. 20 best years of my life let me tell ya.

RIP Harvey Korman....some of my earliest tv memories include Harvey....back in the pre-cable days when we only had 3 channels, I actually enjoyed watching the Carol Burnett show. I can't imagine young kids enjoying a show like that today. Harvey was great in Blazing Saddles and he and Tim Conway were always great together.

RIP Alexander Courage....the composer of the original Star Trek theme is boldly going where we all eventually go...to the undiscovered country....death.

The realization that I have until 2009 to see another episode of Lost is sinking in. Last night's season finale was fantastic...gave a lot of answers, left a lot more questions....gonna be a helluva tough wait to see what happens next. Lost is far and away the best show on tv and if you ain't watching it, go buy the dvds and catch up. You'll thank me for it.

I'm so sick of the dying news media trying to create non-issues when we have so many real ones destroying our country and the world. Some crazy priest gives a sermon at Obama's church and its used to throw more stink on his campaign....meanwhile, the Christian Wrong er Right, has decided to start beating the "gay marriage" drums again....look, if Ellen wants to marry Jodie Foster and Rob Halford wants to marry Mr. Sulu, let them....I'll approve of nearly anything that creates jobs, ends the war, provides health care to everyone and allows me to fill up my gas tank for under 75 bucks.

In related news, Clay Aiken is gonna be a daddy....seriously....the former American Idol runner up has knocked up the 50 year old sister of music producer David Foster via, you guessed it, artificial insemination. This will be the first child for the artist affectionately known on the intergoogles as "the Gayken."

I think that you couldn't find a more festive meat than the bratwurst.

If you're looking for something to read on the internets, check this out http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/20947527 Its Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest rock guitar songs of all time. If they've left out Yngwie J. Malmsteen's "I'll See the Light Tonight" I'll be ever so pissed.

Tracii Guns version of L.A. Guns is looking for a singer...how bout just merging with the Phil Lewis version of L.A. Guns? One L.A. Guns is too much let alone two.

Deep Purple is issuing a 4 DVD box set....I'm hoping its audio only...I don't wanna see those guys on a big tv in HD.....

If you took my advice and bet on the Spurs to beat the Lakers, I'm sorry I let ya down. I smell a Lakers title now....as much as I hate ass rapist Kobe Bryant, I think they'll be too much for the Celtics or Pistons to handle. I still like the Penguins to rally back to take the Cup from the Red Wings.

Thank God football training camps are right around the corner cuz watching the Indians these days is like watching a Premier League soccer game....in fact, a soccer team puts up more points that the Tribe does.

Gonna be a hot one this weekend....feel free to walk around without pants.

Mayhem: Alejandro Escovedo w/the Boss-Always a Friend

This is my fave song of the moment...Alejandro Escovedo deserves to be a huge star....here he is in Houston a few months back playing his new single with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band....Just a killer songwriter

Mayhem: Bad Records I Own-Giuffria I Must Be Dreaming

Yep...I own the 2nd Giuffria record....used to play it a lot...then I realized they were awful...kinda of the bastard child of Journey and Foreigner...simply terrible. Though I will say, I thought David Glenn Eisley's voice was fine, he just needed better material.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mayhem: Bad Cd's I Own Edition: Diving for Pearls

Not only do I own this lousy record, I bought it off ebay when I was going thru a late 80's, early 90's nostalgia period. I remember going to see KBone in Tampa during Xmas 1989 and you couldn't escape this tune, or Tesla's Love Song on the radio. Must have heard each 60 times going thru Atlanta alone...I'd call 'em a one hit wonder but this wasn't much of a hit.

Hey, Its Evil Larry!


Sorry for the late post today gang, I was busy having a bowl of soup with Frank Sinatra's widow.....I don't know which tasted better, the soup or Mrs. S!...ZING!
Seriously, we're short on time today....had to get one of these scope things up my yukus to take pix of my colon. There's nothing wrong with me, I just left the feel of cold steel up against my rectum.
Speaking of steel, I dare you to name a sexier black man than Lexington Steele. Yoinks that dude is packin' heat. The last time somethin' black with one eye got that much action its name was Sammy Davis Jr.
Whatever happened to lawn darts?
Mark it down...this Barry O'bama stands no chance of beating John McCain in this election. It'll be a cold day in hell before the U.S. elects a black Irishman to office.
Ethel Merman was the best sex I ever had.
Give me Larry and you can keep the rest of the 3 Stooges.
Evil Larry's cure to the immigration issue....nuke Mexico.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Mayhem: The Mavericks - All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down

One of the great alt country acts of all time, the Mavericks never received the attention they deserved. Sure they won a Grammy and sold a few records early on, but they were too "out there" for country radio and country fans and "too country" for the rock crowd. Singer Raul Malo has a killer voice and currently is on the road as a solo artist. Seeing him on a bill with Los Lobos would be killer.

This Little Blog of Mine, I'm Gonna Let It Die

Ain't it funny how time slips away? Its been a year already since I began polluting the blogosphere. You'd think by now I'd have become better, but nope, its still amateur hour here in the BlastFurniss. Just be happy you don't have to pay a cover charge to get in.

I started this blog on a whim and I had no idea what I was gonna do with it. Originally, I was gonna go for the real serious stuff and that lasted maybe a day. Then I turned it into a USA Today type blog with news, sports and entertainment and then it hit me, no one likes USA Today. Finally it turned into this little hodgepodge of crap with more of an emphasis on music and I think its worked out much better. Traffic picked up considerably in January and March set a record for hits. Traffic since has stayed pretty constant. I'm shocked that people who don't know me have read this stuff but I appreciate them dropping in. I have a big ego and I enjoy having an audience.

To get to the point of this long winded post, I'm shutting down the blog in June. But that doesn't mean I'm leaving the intergoogles...Oh no, my friends....just wait till you see whats coming next. We're talking full out, balls to the wall, dot com action (whatever the hell that means).....Within the next week or two there will be a major press release (no seriously...there's gonna be a major press release) to announce what I'm gonna be up to.

It ain't easy some days to blog on your own....you get sick, you get tired, you get writers block (you think I'd have put this up today if I could have thought of something else to write on?)...so I'm fortunate to have found the perfect partner to conquer the internet with...this man is the Seals to my Crofts, the Jagger to my Richards, the Gene to my Paul, the Shields to my Yarnell, the Captain to my Tennille....he is Lemmy to my Fast Eddie.....He is the one, the only, the legendary, Tony award winning, ya wanna be like him but ya can't, O.M.O.M.

As for what we're gonna be up to, you'll just have to wait for the press release. I've given away more than I intended to....although if you're clever enough, you might discover the name of our project somewhere here on the main page.

In the meantime, we'll finish up Mayhem and move on to the month of Jewne where each day I'll feature a tune by a Jewish performer, including that much discussed, and thought lost clip of Barbara Streisand dueting with Lemmy back in 1978.

That's it for today....remember if you're driving thru a crosswalk and you see anyone from Fleetwood Mac crossing the street, floor it!

Mayhem: Faith No More - From Out of Nowhere

When Faith No More first exploded, I had mixed emotions about them....I knew they rocked but I knew that their sound was gonna take metal/hard rock in a direction that I wasn't sure I wanted it to go. With the passage of time, I'm convinced these guys were truly one of the best bands of their time. Saw them with Soundgarden once and it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.

Mayhem:The Faces - Stay With Me

Its hard to believe now but at one time Rod Stewart was the greatest frontman in rock n' roll..no seriously..he was. The Faces came together at the end of the 60's once the Small Faces disbanded and Stewart and Ron Wood split from Jeff Beck and joined up. They only recorded a couple records but they were all great. To me, the Faces were the originators of whiskey rock. The band disbanded once Ron Wood joined the Stones and Rod became a singer of horrible ballads. I have a dream that before he dies Rod will make one final masterpiece but its been 35 years and I know it ain't gonna happen.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mayhem: Mott the Hoople-All the Young Dudes

Sure this is an obvious choice for a Mott tune but it beats Once Bitten, Twice Shy (thanks for ruining that tune Great White). This is on the list of my 100 favorite songs (well, I don't actually have a list but if I did it would be on it...somewhere in the high 70's is where I suspect I would rank it). Great guitar line, killer Ian Hunter vocal and quite possibly the best song David Bowie ever wrote.

Post Holiday Weekend Blues

Words cannot express how much I dread returning to work...the Memorial Day weekend was quite productive but I could have used another day of sitting around and doing nothing. I did way too much yard work over the long weekend. The pollen count alone was enough to make me feel like I was in hell. My allergies are killing me and I feel like my head's gonna bust open.

The BlastFurniss family enjoyed a visit to the O.M.O.M.'s sprawling world headquarters and a good time was had by all. Mr. and Mrs. O.M.O.M. have a future in party planning. As I left their gated community and ventured back to the real world, I saw a guy being given a sobriety test in the McDonald's parking lot. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sad for the drunk....all he wanted was a little more beer padding. Still, the jackass shouldn't have been behind the wheel.

You had your choice of tv marathons over the weekend.....you could enjoy Law & Order on TNT, war flicks on TCM and AMC...the NFL Network was running a marathon of Top 1o shows (which was actually pretty cool....no one does better work than NFL Films) and VH1 Classic had a Metal themed Memorial Day weekend. I watched a lot of that because as an American I felt it my duty to remember all the bands who fought for my right to rock.

Checking the headlines....I think Sammy Hagar has killed too many brain cells. He claims his new band Chickenfoot, featuring Michael Anthony, Chad Smith of the Chili Peppers and Joe Satriani, will rival Led Zeppelin. This has failure written all over it....anyone remember Sammy's last supergroup Planet Us (that was with Neal Schon and Slash) or the one project that actually saw a release, the terrible HSAS?

Why do musicians ever bother with the whole "supergroup" idea in the first place? Name one good one....you can't. In the name of Asia and GTR I beg you to stop.....

Hanoi Rocks has announced that they've hired a new drummer...in related news, Vince Neil says he plans to resume driving drunk.

Note to self...when hanging out with guests at the O.M.O.M. compound do not make jokes in reference to the Station Fire and Great White....

Anthropologists have conclusively determined that Warrant lead singer Jani Lane is actually the mysterious Yeti.

Krokus has announced a reunion of its "classic" lineup....Can I sue Krokus for this? This is an act of consumer fraud because Krokus never had a lineup that could be considered classic.

Note to anyone who runs a website...if you quit your day job in hopes that you can make a living off of your site, don't come crying to your readers begging for money to help support you. Yes, I'm talking to you Andrew McNeice of Melodicrock.com. Maybe Joe Elliot will give you 12 bucks to keep your site up but not me.....

Note to Stephen Pearcy, Bret Michaels and Geoff Tate...if no one is interested in buying tickets or cd's to see your past your prime bands, why would be interested in buying your solo cd's or going to your sold concerts?

If Vince Neil really has a fetish for driving drunk and taking out drummers, he oughta consider taking out his own. Last week we talked about how Tommy Lee was gonna do a show for the Discovery Channel (I think it was Discovery...could be TLC....they blur together) now comes word that the 3 legged drummer has an animated series in the works.....I already thought he was a cartoon character?

That's all I have for today. Tomorrow...a hint at the future..Until then I'm Lou O'Neill Jr. thanks for reading the BackPages of Circus Magazine.

Mayhem: Def Leppard-Nine Lives

Boy does this song suck. It reeks of a band trying too hard to recapture past glory...take a Photograph like riff to please the fanbase...then add a country singer to appeal to the soccer mom's in an obvious attempt to expand the fanbase (or to bring back the casual fan who bailed on them after Hysteria).

On the plus side, at least they are still trying...most of the bands of their era and genre quit putting out new music a long time ago. That being said, the new music is beyond awful and it might be time for them to think about just going out and rehasing the greatest hits from now on. Its obvious in this clip from Jimmy Kimmel's show that Joe Elliot's voice is toast....

Friday, May 23, 2008

Mayhem: Sex Pistols - Anarchy In The UK

Some songs are so perfect that there is never any reason to remake them...Megadeth and Motley Crue should have paid attention to that when they covered this one. If I were to make a list of 10 records that changed my life, this one would be in the top 5....This is pure sonic fury...its sloppy, its raw, its angry, its brilliant...I bet Motorhead would do an aweseome version of this...but Motorhead can do no wrong.

I Am Nostradamus

Kudos to the Old Man of Metal for sending me a link to an interview with Judas Priest over at www.classicrockrevisted.com. The metal gods are prepping a new record and I couldn't be less interested...its a concept record about the life of Nostradamus, the dude who had an uncanny knack for predicting the future. In fact, Nostradamus last prediction called for a leather clad band of minstrels, fronted by a queen, singing his praises. Since Freddie Mercury is dead, and Paul Rodgers doesn't seem the type, it seems fate cast Judas Priest in the role. In their honor, I submit to you today's blog, with yours truly playing the role of Nostradamus (by the way, the O.M.O.M. and I are teaming up for a concept record on Jimmy the Greek).

Once elected in a landslide victory, Barack Obama will insist that he be called only his last name which is to be spelled in all caps and when spoken it must be shouted OBAMA!

Kansas is sold to Canada for 6 kegs of Molson.

The new Ipenis will allow users to store over 10,000 songs on their unit.

New Orleans will sink under water but somehow its citizens survive and live like Aquaman. Using their telepathic powers they command an army of whales to attack Crawford, Texas and drown President Bush's compound. Bush will not be there at the time as he will be completing his National Guard duty in Afghanistan. He hears the hash there is better than in Iraq.

The world will go crazy for the reunion of April Wine.

Eric Moore's new band The Godz of Salsa will be a huge hit in the American Southwest. The new latin beats introduce a whole new generation to such tunes as 714 and Luv Kage. This leads to a new show on CMT called "Eric Moore is 60 and Spanish...aka Who is Eric Moore?"

The invention of the hover board leaves American's to park their cars seemingly forever....until a family of 6 crashes into the space needle...A new car that runs on soy sauce ends the nation's energy crisis forever.

Stalled by partisan bickering, the United States Congress decides to let the American people decide the outcome of legislation by call in vote. This leads to mega ratings for CSpan, Cspan 2 (Electric Boogaloo) and the all new Cspan Classic.

Zebras learn to talk and announce they are tired of being called "zebras" and that they prefer to be referred to as "biracial" or "striped Americans."

David Lee Roth is elected governor of Indiana.

Ronnie James Dio becomes Pope. Bishops are now known as Neon Knights in White Satin.

The Japanese begin a craze of leg reduction surgery which launches a midget craze where being a midget is the in thing.

Los Lonely Boys make a few friends and change their name to Los Happy Boys.

The world wipes the memory of Everclear from their mind..oh wait, that happened all ready.

John Mayer releases a tribute record to Eddie Murphy called "Party All the Time..Mayer sings Murphy."

Eddie Murphy kills John Mayer.

To be more "green" the always eco-friendly Dave Matthews decides to recycle his songs.

Eddie Murphy also kills Dave Matthews.

Lemmy opens a Motorhead theme park in a basement in Galion, OH. It becomes THE tourist spot in North Central Ohio topping the Bible wax museum.

Rush's Limelight becomes the new national anthem of Canada.

Eddie Murphy attempts to invade Canada but is stopped by a reunited Kids in the Hall.

Thats it for my predictions....I'm taking Monday off but we'll be back on Tuesday with all new material....plus coming soon a special comment on the future of the blog.....As James McMutry sang "Its Memorial Day in America, everybody's on the road, lets remember our fallen heroes, ya' all be sure to drive slow."

Mayhem:Ronnie Dio and the Prophets - Love Potion NÂș 9

Here my friend is Ronnie James Dio's introduction to the black arts...His first band way back in 1964 doing a cover of the classic Clovers (also covered by the Searchers), Love Potion Number 9. RJ Dio...he's old enough to collect social security but is still kicking ass...He is the Paul Harvey of metal.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Mayhem: Rose Tattoo Nice Boys( Don't Play R'n'R)

Thats right its Rose Tattoo day...deal with it...these guys have been putting out great rock music for years and have received no love...the least you can do is give them a few minutes of your time now....some day Rose Tattoo will be dead and thanks to this blog you can say you've been listening to them for years.

Whatever Happened to Spring?

Used to be April showers brought May flowers (Mayflowers of course brought pilgrims who brought disease and genocide to the Indians) but for the last several years May is the new April..its cool, its wet...it sucks. Since Memorial Day is coming up and is considered the unofficial start to summer (thanks to Kings Island's marketing people I suppose), I ask you what the hell ever happened to Spring? Was it taken over by a Saudi bank? Is it global warming? Was it downsized? All I know is the wife kicked on the heat the other morning cuz she was cold....who wants to pay for that this time of year?

I can remember during my first go around with college the Oval at OSU was jam packed with girls in bikinis.....doubt that has happened this spring...but I'll check it out when I go down there next week. Ain't nothing like the girls in their summer clothes....

Steven Tyler is back in rehab....now there's a shocker....Once a toxic twin, always a toxic twin.

Gas prices soared up to $3.99....who will be the first one in town to go past the 4 buck mark? I think it'll happen within the next day or two. Thomas Friedman writes in today's New York Times that the biggest mistake Bush has made was not asking Americans to change their driving and fuel consumption habits post 9/11.....hmm...I believe I've said similar things on this here blog....So my fellow Americans on this Memorial Day weekend, ignore the high price at the pumps, use your stimulus check to fill up your SUV and drive, drive, drive. Meanwhile, Ford has announced plans to slash production because of the current price of gas and the overall status of the economy....this will certainly result in layoffs. Memo to big 3......how's about coming up with a fuel efficient car or one that will run on an alternate fuel source. If we could power things by bullshit this country would solve its energy crisis forever.

Is there anyone left in this country who doesn't believe Bush is the WORST president in our nation's history?

Play a trick on your co-workers today....go up to them with a look of confusion on your face and ask them "Hey, did you know that the U.S. is in a war with Iraq?" See how many of 'em even know....its the war the country has forgot about....maybe they'll start to pay attention now that American Idol is over for the season. If they had a draft maybe people would get off their bloated, fast food ingesting asses and take to the streets......well, that would require exercise but I bet ya they might hop in their SUV's and drive the kids to soccer with a scowl on their faces tho.

Speaking of soccer, I dare you to name a sport less interesting than soccer.

A search for bodies on the ranch that Charles Manson and his fun filled family called home has been called off....was this really the best use of resources? Manson and his gang are already locked up for life...what are they planning to do charge them with more crimes and lock 'em up for another couple lifetimes? I'd rather see that money spent on investigating American Idol's creators so we can finally bring them to justice for their crimes against people with taste in music.

I'm out of time for today...I left my car running anyway.......

Mayhem: Rose Tattoo - Rock 'n' Roll Outlaw

Is there a man, woman or child alive who doesn't love Rose Tattoo?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Mayhem: UFO -Rock Bottom Live 1973

Whatever you do...NEVER...EVER....dis Michael Schenker to the O.M.O.M. I saw him gut a man in a bar once when he said Lights Out was shite.

Untitled Nonsense

For a couple weeks I've been plotting a guest blog from Ted Kennedy, done ala Howard Stern...after yesterday's news that the Senator has a brain tumor I've elected to scrap the whole idea. Instead I'm gonna re-write it as a Robert Byrd guest blog....that old boy is just ripe for comedy. He's 125 years old (which still leaves him 10 years younger than Chris Chelios of the Detroit Red Wings) and seems to be more out of it each day. When Byrd broke down crying on the Senate floor yesterday about Teddy, I think Byrd thought he'd just been given the news that Teddy Roosevelt was ill. I understand Byrd and TR went up San Juan Hill together.

So there's a chick...that lives life like a dude....takes male hormones, grew a beard, etc...and this she/he is making the tabloid magazine and talk show rounds proclaiming itself as the first pregnant man....listen...this is just an ugly chick with a fetus....the media can stop hyping this story...there is a war going on, the economy stinks, more people lose their homes every day, gas is $4 a gallon and there is a presidential campaign going on...don't we have more important things to worry about than a bearded chick with a fetus?

You know who is nearly the same age as Robert Byrd? Harrison Ford....still I'll go see Indiana Jones and the Riddle of Medicare when it opens this weekend.

Poor Ringo Starr...not only was he the least talented member of the Beatles now it appears he's the least liked. A garden sculpture of Ringo in the Beatles native Liverpool had its head chopped off by vandals. Heather Mills meanwhile is mad she didn't think of the idea...if Paul's leg had come up missing it would have been an easy crime for Scotland Yard to solve.

Another reason to hate American Idol...like you needed another one...tonight's guest performer is George Michael....Poor Andrew Ridgely meanwhile is relegated to appearing on Step it Up and Dance.

That was a joke...everyone knows Andrew Ridgely can't get work anywhere.

VH1 Classic is going all metal for Memorial Day weekend. Prepare yourself to be dazzled by 72 hours of crap you've seen more times than you ever wanted to. I can only hope they run their made for VH1 Def Leppard movie...the scene where Rick Allen is standing in the field holding his arm brings tears to my eyes...from laughing at the bad acting.

Ozzy's wife, Sharon Osbourne, can't stay off of TV...she's agreed to host Rock of Love:Charm School where she teaches the skanks er contestants from Bret "the Wig" Michaels reality show how to be more lady like. Insert your own joke.....HERE___________.

I hate mowing the yard. Especially when my allergies are bugging me like they have been here lately. The other day before heading out to mow, I loaded up Ipod with tons of uptempo, melt your face off, 3 chords and a cloud of dust rock songs....I shaved 10 minutes off of my usual mowing time. Plus I got to scare the numbers by singing along to American Dog's Magnificent Bastard....I hate my neighbors anyway so I'm glad they now live in fear of me. They should.

If you're making bets, I like the Penguins to beat the Red Wings in 6 games to win the Stanley Cup. If you're betting basketball, I like the Celtics to meet the Spurs (upsetting the Lakers) in the NBA Finals. If you're gambling on the Indy 500, God help you....you have a serious problem if you enjoy cars going round and round and round.

I'm off to go pick up my Danica Patrick Fathead.....

Hair Metal Mayhem:Black N' Blue live 1984 Japan HOLD ON TO 18

Confession...I once owned all of Black n' Blue's records....and I played them...often. I'm not proud of it but hey it was the style of the time...I think it was their link to Gene Simmons that made them "cool" back then....of course 25 plus years later, nothing about them or Gene is cool. The Simmons connection paid off for guitarist Tommy Thayer tho..he's now Ace Frehley in Kiss. Singer Jamie St. James had stint as Jani Lane in Warrant...now he's back to managing a Taco Bell (thats just a guess on my part).

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Flight of the Conchords Bret, You've got it Going On

I hate myself for missing their show last week...this song cracks me up:

Hey there Bret,
I see you're looking down.
Don't wanna see my little buddy down with a frown,
Just because I get more women than you,
Well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure you weedy, and kinda shy,
But some girly out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy,
They want you as they needle when they're rolling in the hay,
So just hear me out when I say...
Bret you got it going on!
The ladies'll get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said Bret you got it going ooon!
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate I wanted to say that your looking ok mate!"
Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?
Not all the time obviously, Just when he's got a problem with his self-esteem.
Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable,
Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable,
If I say you got a "boom ow ow" come on Bret help me out now.
Bret you got it going on!
(Got it going on)
That's the conclusion that I've come to,
But that doesn't mean that I wanna Bum you.
Bret you got it going ooon!
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it we'd be going crazay if one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.
OH, if one of us was a lady!
And I was your man, if I was your man.
Well sometimes It gets lonely and I ne-ed a woman,
And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was feeling really lonely,
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel,
I put a wig on you while you were sleeping, put a wig on you.
And I just lay there and spooned you.
Bret, you got it going on.

I Was Almost Killed by the American Idols

Call it irony...call it karma....call it what you will but my friends last night my life nearly came to a premature end and if it had.....American Idol would have been to blame.

I'm motoring down the highway....its rush hour. I have my window cracked enjoying a cigarette. I have the radio blaring listening to a replay of the Howard Stern show (my exhaust is loud, hence the need to blare the radio). Traffic is moving at a decent clip. I have a PT Cruiser in front of me and a rig to the right..Just in front of the rig is some kinda SUV...what kind I'm not real sure cuz they all look alike to me. I look down to change the radio dial to the Underground Garage (Howard's at commercial)...as soon as I look back up my car is under attack.

Flying discs are pelting my car and those behind me. The SUV that was in front of the rig had all its windows down...a massive wind gust or the hand of God (I'm not sure which) caused a whole mess of compact discs (what your people call "CD's") to fly out the window and attack my car.

Now my car is dented, rusted, and has 120,000 miles on it. Its looks, like Cheryl Tiegs, are long gone....I was startled but was able to handle the rain storm of cd's well....what bothered me wasn't the attack of the cd's its what was on the cd's that offended me.

I couldn't see the labels on all the cd's that went spilling out on to the highway but I did clearly make out the names Kelly Clarskson and Carrie Underwood as they hit my windshield and bounced off.....I was a Clay Aiken disc away from being attacked by an unholy trinity of American Idol contestants! Haven't these people committed enough crimes against innocent people with good taste in music? Must they now resort to drive by's to garner attention?

You can say this incident was just a fluke...I look at it as something more. American Idol is down in the ratings. Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are its most successful byproducts yet neither is a HUGE star....Taylor Hicks and Reuben Studdard now pump gas, Bo Bice is managing a Burger King and I'm told Fantasia is doing crystal meth and adult films just to get by. I shudder to think of poor Jordin Sparks and what awaits her....by their unprovoked attack on me yesterday I think its clear that these no talent ass clowns are determined to stay in the spotlight by any means necessary...If it takes the death of innocents on the highway, they say so be it!

My friends I ask that you avenge me...tell all who will listen to not cast a vote in tonight's American Idol finale...if no one votes then no one wins. If no one becomes American Idol then we the people with taste and excellent driving skills will no longer be subjected to their pedestrian vocal stylings and highway flying cd assaults. This stand will allow us to take our country back and keep our roadways safe.

Say it often and say it loud...tell all who will listen "Hell no, we won't vote!'

By the way....I'm not making this up....I was really attacked by flying cds on the highway last night. Seriously.

Hair Metal Mayhem: King Kobra Breakin' Out

Never cared for this band...didn't care for 'em at all. Never understood how Carmine Appice's career reached this point. I'm not sure his career ever recovered from it...but he got off easy. King Kobra lead singer Marc Free woke up one day and decided he was a woman in a man's body..now he's known as Marcie Free. That's really the only reason I'm posting this vid. I hate these guys....I hate them so much.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Mayhem:Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch

I'm not a Joan Jett "fan" but I do respect the heck out of her. Chick has carved out a nice career for herself and I believe she loves rock and has always done right by the genre. That's more than Bryan Adams and Neal Schon can say.

Fade to Black or When Good Shows Go Bad

When I was a kid anytime my Dad felt an athlete had stayed in the game too long he brought up Willie Mays in a Mets uniform and what a sad vision it was to see Willie struggle. That's a pretty common reference as is the sight of Johnny Unitas in a Chargers uniform and Joe Namath playing for the Rams. While watching the Simpsons season finale last night (hey I like the Sunday Fox cartoons...sue me) it hit me that that's what the show has become now...a shell of itself just playing out the string.

The quality of the Simpsons has been fading for several years. Last summer's Simpsons Movie was a joy...great writing, great gags and it did a great job of reminding me why I enjoyed the exploits of the four fingered dysfunctional family. I can't remember anything about this season just past tho. It wasn't awful, it just wasn't good...Usually in its worst moments I could always count on at least one chuckle an episode. Not so this season. I must confess, I'm so down on the Simpsons I have two episodes from this season on the DVR that I haven't watched yet. Just can't bring myself to do it.

The creators of the Simpsons know that they've slipped. They've made several in-jokes about it. Yet they continue to trot the old warhorse out season after season as it comes off as ever more tired. Sure the show still has an audience and its making money for all parties involved with it...but is that reason enough to keep the show on the air?

I've seen every episode of the Simpsons more times than I care to mention. But I doubt very much I'll tune in again next year...I'll give it a shot and if the beginning of next season stinks then I'm done. Same goes for Family Guy, which while never in the Simpsons league, has its laugh out loud moments. However, this season has been the worst ever. Maybe the writer's strike is to blame but if that were the case why are American Dad and King of the Hill better than ever?

One other show that needs to fade to black and disappear is Saturday Night Live. No one on the cast stands out...the writing is awful and the hosts don't even appear to be trying. I have better things to do than watch a guy struggle to read cue cards. Ya know a show sucks when even Steve Carrell can't make it funny. I rarely watch SNL anymore...might tune in depending on who is hosting (which was the case Saturday night). I've made a promise to myself to not even do that anymore. The show is just flat out awful. SNL now comes off like the last half hour used to....its like every skit is just tacked on to fill time.

Whatever happened to the showbiz idiom of "leave 'em wanting more"?

Mayhem:James McMurtry - Cheney's Toy

Here's a tune off the new McMurtry cd Just Us Kids...killer record..one of the best of the year to date...a record so good that it even sounds good coming thru your Ipod while you're out mowing the yard.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mayhem:Swingin' Neckbreakers Don't You Just Know It.

One of my recent discoveries is Trenton NJ's Swingin' Neckbreakers...the nucleus of the band is the Jorgensen brothers who've kept the band going for 15 years or so. The tune I really wanted to post was "You" which is just a killer tune..but couldn't find any video of it so you'll have to settle for Don't You Just Know It. Like many of the great American rock bands that are out there these days, The Swingin' Neckbreakers have a bigger audience overseas. If elected President I will rebuild the economy, provide health care to all, end the war, and place rock and roll music back to the level that it deserves.

Another Lost Weekend

Another weekend is upon us and you know what that means...unseasonably cool temps and lots of rain. Think I'll hit the multiplex and check out either Prince Caspian (which looks like it probably isn't any good) or Speed Racer (which looks awful). Looking forward to the 3 day weekend next weekend....hopefully it'll feel like Memorial Day instead of St. Patrick's Day which is how it feels weather wise right now.

I've said it before and I'll say it again....Lost is the finest show on the air and one of the greatest of all time. No other show on television currently or in recent memory has ever left me with the feeling this one has. I want all the answers and I want 'em now. Last night's episode was the first part of the 3 hour finale but the pisser is that the next two hours won't air for two weeks as the show is pre-empted next week for a 2 hour Grey's Anatomy finale.

I pulled out the first season of Lost on DVD recently and its clear that the writers haven't been making it up on the fly. Oh I'm sure they've fleshed out ideas and dropped others but at its core, the writers have always known where they wanted to take us, the home viewer. The bummer me for me is only two more seasons left after this season. Once the season finale hits I have to wait until February of 2009 to get my Lost fix. I'm trying to avoid spoilers for the finale but I'm dying to know what happens next. When a show leaves you with that feeling you know its good.

Good news for Joe Elliot and ladies who love older men named Mutt with a knack for overproducing music....Shania Twain and music producer hubby Mutt Lange are calling it quits after 14 years (which oddly enough is how long it took him and Def Leppard to call it quits on Hysteria) of marriage. Twain keeps her money and the rhythm track to Pour Some Sugar on Me. Guess Mutt isn't still the one.

New Kids on the Block are reunited and appearing on the Today Show today. I call this another indication that the country has gone to hell.

Tommy Lee and rapper Ludacris are teaming up for a show on the Discovery Network...insert your joke here. I hear its a home building show or something which is good for Tommy cuz if you saw the vid with him and Pam ya know he's always got a jack hammer ready.

Contrary to internet rumor, I had nothing to do with the sudden death of original Rush drummer (and band founder) John Rutsey. Everyone knows I'd have taken out Geddy Lee first.

VH1 Classic is running a contest where you can appear on stage with Yes. I think I'll say no. You call that a prize?

Another reason for me to hate soccer..The Dave Matthews Band is playing at Crew Stadium in Columbus this summer. Man if that ain't a place begging for a terrorist hit I don't know what is ('cept maybe wherever Coldplay happens to be).

Remember that story about Whitesnake opening for Led Zep? The one I said was BS? Well 'Snake frontman and Robert Plant wannabe David Coverdale has come out and called BS too. He says he never said any such thing and has no idea how the hell the story got started.

Van Halen is filming shows for a possible DVD. Thats cool and all but I'm sure they have to have some quality video in a vault from their hey day...they oughta do what Springsteen is doing and remaster and repackage their records with Dave and include concerts from the same time. They'd sell a ton of the US Festival alone.

First it was Starbucks getting into the music biz, now its Dennys....Denny's restaurants has just launched a unique new music program entitled Adopt-a-Band to provide free meals, promotional support, and concert after-parties to "adopted" bands on tour across the U.S. I wonder if I took the wife and 4 kids in and said we were a band if they'd feed us for free?

Catch my band Uncircumcised Rock opening up for 5 Beer Piss in a tavern near you.

Have a good weekend and remember...just say no to hip hop.

Mayhem:Robert Plant Alison Krauss Battle Of Evermore

Me and the O.M.O.M. are talking about going to catch these two when they stop in Cleveland this summer. The video on this looks like it was shot from the next county, but the audio is good (if incomplete). They've been trotting out a couple Led Zep tunes on tour and here's a killer version of the Battle of Evermore from Cariff on May 8th.

Mayhem: Drive Shaft You All Everybody

This video will mean nothing to you if you don't watch Lost. Drive Shaft is the Oasis like band that castaway Charlie Pace was a member of. I still find myself singing along with it and the only lyrics I know are "You All Everybody..." Kudos to JJ Abrams with this song...The song and the band Drive Shaft show up in an episode of Alias.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Mayhem:The Black Crowes-Wounded Bird

From their great new record Warpaint, here are the Black Crowes on Letterman a couple weeks ago. I've read a lot of negative comments on the web about this performance but I dig it...especially how raw Chris Robinson's vocals are. Can't wait to see them this summer.

The Worst of Times

What's the worst concert you've ever seen? Here are 5 shows I saw that nearly caused me to end my life or those of the band on stage....

The Worst Concerts of My Life...or How I Nearly Killed Candlebox in 1996

1. Candlebox-Summer 1996-Oshkosh, WI: Let me state the only highlight of this show is that as a member of the media I didn't have to pay to get in. I took my friends Steve and Patty with me. Spacehog opened. They weren't awful and came off as a very polished David Bowie cover act though their lead singer (whose name escapes me but I'm remember he once dated Drew Barrymore) came off as more Graham Bonnet than Bowie. Yet they did a Tin Machine cover to close (Crack City) that flat out rocked. Clear the set.

I should mention this was part of a weekend outdoor "alternative" music festival. Candlebox was headlining day two...after rain fell the night before and the day of the Candlebox show the grounds were a swamp...so Spacehog wraps up, we go for beer. First song goes ok...2nd song starts and the lead singer motions for the band to stop playing. He looks at the 6 people in the mosh pit and says "you guys down there...ya gotta knock that stuff off...you gotta be cool or we aren't gonna play." The 6 people, who appeared from my vantage point to be only breathing and looking at the stage didn't move. They finish that song...they start a third..midway thru it again the lead singer of Candlebox stops the band and scolds the mosh pit. Looked like only 5 people were in there at this point and I'm guessing someone sneezed. At that point, I looked at Steve and Patty and said "ya wanna get the hell out of here? These guys are douchebags." They felt the same so it was off to the Lizard Lounge for Lizard Lager.

2. Air Supply-Spring 1985-Look, I was 15...I did it for a girl I liked...but once I got there I realized I hated her and how it was possible to want to kill everyone in a room. I dumped her that night and dated her friend for the next two years.

3. Faster Pussycat-Summer 2001-Columbus, OH-Taime Downe wants to be Marilyn Manson cuz lets face it...Who wants to be Taime Downe?

4. Skid Row-Cleveland OH-Year on this is fuzzy-Think it was 2000 but it could've been 1998 or 99-Skid Row was the opening act on a package with Ted Nugent and a reunited Kiss (it was their "farewell" tour with Ace and Peter (before they were replaced by different actors like a god damn day time soap opera). The first words out of the guy who isn't Sebastian Bach were "Good evening Cleveland we are Skid Row and we are back!" We? WE? Who the hell are you? You've sold even fewer records than Sebastian Bach has solo? WE? Caucasian please. They could have played the most smokin' setlist from that point on but I was tuned out already and heading for the beer line.

5. Ozzy Osbourne-Summer 1986-Columbus, OH- It was the Ultimate Sin tour...great record...great band...Metallica with a pre-bus crash Cliff Burton opened and ripped the roof off the dump...then here comes Ozzy...hair teased like one of JR's chicks on Dallas (hey it was still on the air then)....wearing a4x black and yellow jumpsuit that he must have bought from Stryper's garage sale....all night long the following words were repeated...."let's go f'ing crazy!"..."I love you all!"...over...and over....and over...and over...and over...and over..Until I felt the need to bite the head off of Ozzy Osbourne.

Bonus crap shows:

Bon Jovi...Memorial Day Weekend 1987...Buckeye Lake, OH...Went to prom the night before...was drunk by 830AM the day of the show....Blazing hot...Smithereens opened and had this look on their face that said "what the f are we doing here?" Cinderella came out next and rocked...(seriously)...then came Bon Jovi...Slippery When Wet tour...the little girls went wild....and two songs in it was obvious....After a 160 shows that year Bon Jovi had no voice, the band had no chops...the only reason for them to be on the road at that point was to take my money.

White Lion....Saw these lousy pricks twice, once opening for Ace Frehley, another time with AC/DC. Mike Tramp sucks and he shouldn't be allowed to re-enter the United States.

Shy...opened for Enuff Znuff....had to call themselves Shy England in the USA...should have called themselves Shite.

Blondie...Debbie Harry is my Mom's age and it made me feel icky. Highlight of show was my wife's text message "How's the tide?" "Very high and I'm movin on" I replied. Yet they are in the rock hall and Kiss, Cheap Trick and Warren Zevon aren't?

I'm sure there a lot of other lame ass bands I've seen...I just don't want to relive any more of these experiences right now....post traumatic stress disorder is often diagnosed after being subjected to a lame ass band.

Mayhem: Ted Nugent-Great White Buffalo

What I really wanted to post today was some video from the Penetrator era to send out to American Dog's Steve Theado...sadly, it appers there is no video from that tour with Brian Howe. So we're gonna have to settle with what I consider the best Nugent song ever. Ted's politics don't matter to me. If you grew up in the 70's or 80's you couldn't escape the lure of the Motor City Madman...and why would you? The man loves the rock....

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mayhem:Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

Its Wednesday...and Wednesday is the night we make love...Flight of the Conchords are simply amazing..they are incredibly funny and write great songs. I dare you to listen to this live version of Business Time and not come away singing it all day. I'd love to go see them at the Schott Friday night but sadly, it looks not to be.

Mayhem:ROLLING STONES - GIMME SHELTER

Not the best video...just a slide show really but its the Stones doing Gimme Shelter live with the great Mick Taylor. The Stones never sounded better than they did with Mick Taylor. Sadly he had to leave the band after drugs took a toll on him. In Tony Sanchez's book about life with the Stones he claimed that Taylor did so much coke it destroyed his septum. Taylor never found commercial success after leaving the Stones but he stayed drug free and still tours and plays great.

Best of the Blast

Normally I use this blog to rag on things I hate...today I'm changing things up a bit and praising some of my all time faves....Today its some of my favorite music...the records that should be a part of any collection. Obviously, this is just a small sample as there are so many essential records that it would be impossible to name them all in one post. But here they are in no particular order:

Black Sabbath Heaven and Hell: Say what ya want about Ozzy, this record with Dio is their most complete album. Never did the band sound heavier than they did here. Every track is killer. Children of the Sea, Neon Knights, Die Young, and the title track...all amazing.

Kiss Destroyer: One of the records that changed my life. My pick for best Kiss record ever. Sure Detroit Rock City is tired now but 30 years ago? Wow. You can have Rock and Roll All Nite, to me, Shout it Out Loud is the Kiss anthem.

Judas Priest British Steel: Maybe the greatest metal record ever. Took a fringe band and made them superstars. If you get the chance to watch VH1 Classic's Behind the Album (or whatever they call it) on this check it out. Breakin' the Law, Grinder, the Rage...this is the record that made Priest Metal Gods.

David Bowie Hunky Dory: Ziggy Stardust was my fave as a kid but as I've aged this record has surpassed it. One of the great records of all time. Sure everyone knows Changes but the true standouts are Quicksand, Queen Bitch (a tribute to Lou Reed) and Andy Warhol. You can't go wrong with any Bowie record that features Mick Ronson. God rest his soul.

Ac/Dc Highway to Hell: Quite honestly, every Ac/Dc record up to and including Back in Black are must haves. I choose Highway to Hell because of the title track. Rock doesn't get any better than that and considering the fate that awaited Bon Scott its prophetic as well. Its been nearly 30 years since Back in Black (to me its their last great record...they've had decent songs since but the albums to me were failures) and while I'm tired of hearing it (thanks radio) you have to admire how after losing their great singer they rebounded with such a powerful record. No band (well, maybe Deep Purple) ever sounded so good after changing lead singers. To me, Angus and Malcolm Young are up there with Lennon/McCartney and Jagger/Richards. The Youngs have rock in their DNA.

Bruce Springsteen Born to Run/Darkness on the Edge of Town: Its impossible for me to pick between these two records. They are like heads and tails on a coin. BtR is an amazing story...in danger of being dropped by his label Springsteen shoots for the stars and scores a breakthrough hit. The Wings for Wheels doc in the BtR 30th anniversary is must viewing. BtR is where Bob Dylan, Van Morrison and Phil Spector intersect. One of the 5 best rock records ever. Darkness is a scary record...this is the record where Springsteen's youthful idealism met with reality. The songs are dark, the characters are broken down and hanging on by a thread....but they are still hangin' on. So many fist pumping anthems on this record..Badlands, Promised Land, Prove it All Night...but its the angry songs that rip at your heart...Something in the Night and Adam Raised a Cain (best song about fathers and sons EVER). Look for a 30th anniversary release of Darkness later this year.

Guns n Roses Appetite for Destruction: Once Axl stopped teasing his hair the message was clear, the age of the hair band was over. Sure it took Nirvana to put the final nail in the coffin but it was GnR that dug the hole. They didn't wanna look pretty..they wanted to rock. Shame they didn't put out anymore records as good as this one but then they wouldn't be so easily compared to the next band....

The Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks: One record, one U.S. tour and then they broke up...only to reunite 20 years later for a cash grab. One of the most influential records ever. Raw, angry, fun. Plus you gotta love the whole Sid and Nancy story.

The Ramones....pick any.

The Clash London Calling: If heaven has a bar (and it better have several) Joe Strummer is downing shots and having a pint with Jesus.

Cheap Trick: I love Cheap Trick. I think they are one of the great American bands but on record, they are often hit or miss. Sure you could get the live record from Japan or you could get the box set which is what I suggest. While their albums were hit and miss, they always had several good tunes on 'em. When you listen to the box set you realize "wow, these guys are amazing."

James McMurtry Where'd You Hide the Body: His third, and final, major label release is where everything came together. Excellent production from Don Dixon. He's never rocked harder than he did on this record. Rachel's Song, about a mother who leaves her kid to be raised by his father, is one of the best tunes he's ever written and it includes one of my favorite lyrics ever "I probably oughta quit my drinkin' but I don't believe I will." Of course that's rivaled by Levelland's "...makes you wonder why they stopped here..wagon must of lost a wheel or they lacked ambition one." I use that line to describe why people decided to settle here in my home town.

John Mellencamp:The Lonesome Jubilee: Paper in Fire, Check it Out...the former Johnny Cougar ws never better than this.

The Rolling Stones: Check out anything from the Mick Taylor era...From 1968-1972 they really were the world's greatest rock and roll band.

The Beatles: C'mon you're kidding right? They are all great...I love Rubber Soul most of all.

Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks: This record from 1974 (I think it was 1974, I'm too lazy to look it up) was his first comeback record...oddly enough his 1989 release Oh Mercy was also a comeback record and the two of them are my fave Dylan records. Blood on the Tracks is a heartbreaking record and I'm a sucker for depressing songs. Tangled Up in Blue and You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go...if they don't move you, ya ain't got no soul.

Richard Thompson Shoot Out the Lights: To be correct its a Richard and Linda Thompson record...this is what it sounds like when a marriage falls apart. No one was surprised when they divorced after this record.

Squeeze East Side Story:Glenn Tillbrook and Chris Difford remind me a lot of Cheap Trick..wrote great songs but never found major commecrcial success. East Side Story is one of the great records of the 80's. Brilliant songs, great production from Elvis Costello and the best song ever about cheating, Tempted.

Gin Blossms New Miserable Experience: Go ahead...laugh all you want. This is one great record and one of the best of the 90's. Doug Wilson knew how to write great songs about drinking and depression which is fitting since he was a drunk who grew depressed after he was kicked out of the band he formed resulting in his suicide. Without him, the band was never able to recapture the magic and thats why they are now playing Popcorn Festivals.

Black Crowes Shake Your Money Maker: One of the all time great debut records. Sure they may be retro...they may not be original but they rock...and they rock hard. Each subsequent record took them closer to being a jam band (with Amorica being the record that made them one officially). This is just a straight up in your face rock record.

Van Halen Van Halen I/Van Halen II: Go ahead...I dare you to not play air guitar to these tunes. Take a great frontman, a guitar god and you have the recipe for fun. Thats what these records are pure flat out joy from start to finish. As Diamond Dave says Van Halen wrote the sonundtrack for our lives.

And these my friends are just a few of my favorite records...just imagine if we had the space and time to cover them all.

Mayhem:Guns N' Roses - Used To Love Her

I will go to my grave proclaiming the original GNR as one of the all time great rock bands. I lost interest when Use Your Illusion was released (would have been a killer single record, but as a double release..bleh). This song, as it appears on the EP GNR Lies holds a soft space in my heart...after a night spent drinking in the Columbus bars me and some pals of mine would retire for the evening by banging this one out on 12 string guitars. The neighbors loved us I'm sure.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mayhem:Hilljack - Too Damn Sober

Still more Hilljack...play it loud

Great Curly's Ghost

So if its Tuesday that must mean there is another primary election...West Virginia where Mrs. Clinton is expected to win and win big. After all, she is the candidate of choice for white working people. Just ask her..she'll tell ya. Basically Hillary's latest campaign slogan is "Crackas of the Country Unite!" Give her another week and she'll be donning a Klan hood as she stomps thru Kentucky. Its not exactly like Obama can really respond and say Mrs. C is running a "fear of black planet (thanks Public Enemy)" campaign. So since he can't or won't say it, I will. Hillary, like her hubby, will say and do anything to get elected. Oh and Barry? I realize you stand to lose West Virginia and Kentucky but could you have at least pretended like you weren't giving up there? Unless they leave the union you'll still have to campaign there in the fall....

Back to racism for a sec....Obama's field workers are now speaking openly about the severity of the racism they have experienced while campaigning in states like Pennsylvania and Indiana. While the political pundits like to go on and on about historic this race between a black man and a white woman is, what history will remember is how the white woman campaigned like a white woman and used racist tactics at every opportunity.

The 3 stooges still in the race have now been joined by former congressman Bob Barr (I guess this makes him Shemp). You remember Barr...he was one of the leaders to impeach Clinton. You probably best know him as the guy who met with Borat and enjoyed cheese...made from tit milk. Barr, a Republican in his congressional days, is running now as a Libertarian.

Speaking of the 3 Stooges...why is it I find them funnier now than I did when I was a kid? I enjoy Curly and Shemp equally. Don't much care for Joe or Curly Joe tho...those feature flicks from the 60's are pretty awful but the early shorts are a hoot.

Is it just me or do you also suffer from a lack of interest in the upcoming Summer Olympics? I'm disgusted that the games are being held in China....if the I.O.C. was hell bent on showcasing a country where the civil rights of its residents are violated, they could have done it here in the good ol' U.S.A. Its sickening that the Chinese government's early press releases after yesterdays earthquake mentioned that the facilities for the games were undamaged. 18,000 people (at least) are dead but by golly our stadiums are earthquake proof! Hail Mao! I'm not eating General Tso's chicken out of protest.

Scott Weiland formerly of Velvet Revolver and now back with Stone Temple Pilots is back in jail to serve out his punishment for a recent DUI. Anyone else think this STP reunion will implode quickly? Ya know back in the day Weiland and Iron Man Robert Downey Jr. were smack buddys. Nice to see Downey saved his life and his career but Weiland seems to be repeating the same mistakes. Never saw the appeal of STP and as a vocalist I always found him limited. Seems his capacity to change is limited as well.

There is no escaping Sara Bareilles Love Song....you hear it in tv commercials and its all over the radio and I gotta say....the tune blows. Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame sweetie. Oh and you too Amy Winehouse (who come to think of it may be Scott Weiland in drag).

Michael Stipe of REM and Fred Schneider of the B-52's....are they the same person?

Finally did you see LeBron James mom go off on Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett last night in the Cavs-Celtics game? The ball was heading for the stands and the usual scrum for it caused James and Pierce to tussle for the ball..leading Mama James to pop up and offer a piece of her mind. LeBron wasted no time telling his Mama to shut the bleep up and sit down. James said he hated using such language with his mother and was glad it wasn't Mother's Day.

Hey LeBron..if you can talk to your Mom that way would you tell Mrs. Clinton to shut up and sit down too?

Its Hilljack day...have fun kids

Mayhem:Hilljack - Ballbuster

Before there was American Dog, there was Hilljack...gotta say, American Dog is a much better band name.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mayhem:The New Cars - Just What I Needed

Quite possibly, one of the worst ideas EVER...take Elliot Easton and Greg Hawkes, add Todd Rundgren and 2 of his longtime cronies and try to sell it as the the (new) Cars...I'm sorry but thats like Charlie Watts and Ron Wood playing as the Rolling Stones...Ocasek wrote all the tunes and sang 60 percent of 'em...Ben Orr sang their biggest hit Drive and is dead. The New Cars were doomed to fail...and fail they did.

Has any pop/rock star ever made worse business decisions than Todd Rundgren? At the height of his fame he chose to dabble with really stupid ideas...he could have been really famous and settled for cult status...and now in his later years he's forced to continually tour to an ever shrinking fanbase and do stuff like the New Cars in order to pay the bills. Hey Todd, why don't you call Ringo and go out as the New Beatles?

Mayhem:The Cars - Candy-O (Live in Houston) - 1984

After name dropping Roy Thomas Baker the other night (thanks OMOM)I haven't been able to get the first two Cars records outta my noggin since. Before they became the darlings of Mtv (and then imploded)...the Cars were an interesting rock group. They were lumped in with the New Wave acts of the day but I never thought of the Cars as a new wave band. They rocked too hard for new wave..shame Ben Orr died before the band could cash in on a reunion...and it seems that the New Cars featuring Todd Rundgren playing the role of Ric Ocasek have been put in park. For my money, the Cars debut record is one of the finest debut albums of all time. This band is truly worthy of being in the Rock Hall despite the fact they were one of the absolute WORST live bands ever.

Mother's Day Hangover

Well the weekend flew by in the blink of an eye....hope you survived spending Mother's Day with your Mom or worse yet spending it like I did with my Mother in law...In laws are a tricky thing....they want you to be involved in all their family get togethers but they never fail to remind you that you're not a real member of the family. I've learned the key to surviving any family gathering, whether its with your family or the in-laws, is to just keep your head down and make yourself invisible if you can. Nothing will bring you more joy or more pain in life than family.

Much thanks go out to the O.M.O.M. and his lovely Mrs. for entertaining me and Mrs. Furniss Saturday night. The first summit against the Pussification of America was a huge success and I look forward to sharing with you the many grand ideas that we came up while consuming mass quantities of alcohol and tobacco.

Ya know I like kids...really I do....but if one more kid were to open his mouth yesterday and ask "Why is there no Children's Day?" I would have hung him from a ceiling fan. I found myself responding like my Dad did when I was a kid "Do you have to go to work? Do you have summer's off? Do you pay for your food or your shelter?Do you not wear better clothes than I do? Then shut your pie hole because (wait for it)...EVERYDAY IS KIDS DAY!"

Speaking of kids, the new James McMurtry record Just Us Kids, is outstanding. Downloaded it yesterday and listened to it 4 times in a row. Best record of the year to date. McMurtry's 8th studio record (9th overall) in 17 years may be his finest work. McMurtry's lyrics have always been excellent and he's in fine form here. What's really amazing is the arrangements. The music has as much going on as his stories. God Bless America is an angry rant at corporate America while Cheney's Toy portrays Bush as nothing more than a puppet for the Vice President. The Governor is a murder mystery set to song while Fireline Road covers incest (yep..incest). Bayou Tortoise has an incredible guitar line and is a great opening track. Ruby and Carlos details a marriage gone bad and does such a great job of sharing their story you feel like you've invaded the couple's privacy. My fave cut to this point is Hurricane Party which tells the story of a man who decides to stay in New Orleans instead of leaving when Katrina came only to watch the city drown. Just Us Kids may be McMurtry's finest work and that's saying something cuz the man has put out some quality material.

Cruel twist of fate for me...Flight of the Conchords are playing Value City Arena Friday night and due to a scheduling issue, I won't be able to attend.

Kudos to Sirius's E Street Radio...last night they ran Bruce Springsteen's special show to benefit the Count Basie Theater. The show took place last Wednesday and was nothing short of amazing. The band played the Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run records straight thru. The horn section of the Max Weinberg 7 joined for the Born to Run portion of the set. The Big Man was in fine form throughout and the show was a whole lotta fun. I can't remember the last time I heard Clarence Clemons sound so good. The Big Man just ripped it up....Since those records are Sax heavy, the Big Man knew the spotlight was on and he delivered. Nils played one of the greatest guitar solos ever at the end of Prove it All Night....

David Coverdale is telling the press that he expects Whitesnake to be asked to open on a Led Zep 40th anniversary world tour....I'm calling BS on this one....not on a Led Zep tour...at some point Bob Plant is gonna cave and do it...but no way does he allow Coverdale, who Plant views to be a clone of himself, to open.

Poison drummer Rikki Rockett told TMZ.com that he plans to hold a press conference this week to address the rape charge he's facing in Mississippi. The charges against Rikki have always seemed bogus...if he did it he deserves to face the consequences but given how much time it took for the case to come to light I call BS on this one too.

Its been a long time since I was interested in listening to a John Mellecamp record but since I heard his new record is being produced by T Bone Burnett, I'm very much interested. The downside is the record is being distributed by Starbucks...the bright side is it sounds like the record is a return to the rootsy sound of Mellencamp's holy trilogy of Scarecrow, the Lonesome Jubilee and Big Daddy...Life, Death, Love, Freedom is scheduled to be released in mid July.

Does anyone really care that Extreme has reunited and is not only touring but putting out a new record? I realize More than Words was a huge hit but did any of their records really sell that well? Was their following bigger than I thought it was? I always found them to be shite and Gary Cherone's voice makes my skin crawl...same tone on every song. Its cool they are touring with Kings X but how big is their fanbase these days? Kings X didn't have too may fans back when they were critical darlings and poised to be the "next big thing." The show comes to Cleveland's House of Blues in August.

Tens of thousands die in a cyclone in the former Burma, then 20 some odd folks die in storms here in the states...todays its an earthquake in China that kills thousands (and the count is sure to go MUCH higher)....The Rev. John Hagee will surely blame this on God being angry for some reason or another....I suspect if God is behind this he's offended by the Extreme reunion.

I'm off to go talk about the end of the world..........

Mayhem: Be Bop Deluxe-Ships In The Night

There was a time when I was younger that I thought Be Bop Deluxe was one of the most unappreciated bands in the world...now they are forgotten....basically, thats the whole reason I posted them today...a simple reminder that this was a great band. Their best of is a must own for any music lover.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Mayhem: Pearl Jam - Worldwide Suicide

I've never been a fan of Pearl Jam...never liked grunge...hated all things in grunge...but god damn it I love this freakin' song...don't know why...everytime I hear it I gotta crank it.

Random Thoughts Friday

My friends the economic news facing Americans has just taken a most dangerous turn....America is facing a barley crisis.....thanks to increased ethanol production, America is short on grain.....I don't eat enough rice to worry about Costco and Sam's Club rationing my rice purchases...but without barley, a key ingredient in the production of beer, the very fabric of our society is at risk.

Who will sponsor our sporting events if not the breweries? Without beer, what will cause our nations marriages to fail? Without beer, what will the Mother's Against Drunk Driving protest? Let me state this simply my friends...without beer the terrorists win. Our nation was founded on the principles of freedom...our right to consume excess quantities of beer and make asses out of ourselves has never been at greater risk than it is right now. I urge you to write your congressman and tell him that you want your beer...and you want cold and at a reasonable price and flowing from every spigot in your house.

C'mon admit it..did you ever think you'd live to see the day where America and its amber waves of grain would actually have a grain shortage? Next thing ya know we'll have a president in office who wasn't actually elected by the people and we'll be fighting wars over made up shite.

In other random thoughts:

Lost remains the highlight of my tv week. I don't know if I've ever been so involved in a tv program. With only 3 episodes left this season I eagerly await what comes next but dread the 8 month layoff between the end of this season and start of the next. This season, tho cut short by the writer's strike, has been the best since the first season. Since the decision was made at the end of last season, to end the show after 3 more seasons the writers have been liberated. The series is really moving full steam ahead to a conclusion. Not only is this resulting in great stories, but for fans it saves us from a repeat of the X Files which dragged on way too long.

Mrs. Furniss has turned me into a viewer of Law & Order SVU...I still have a hard time watching because so many of the cast members used to be regulars on HBO's prison drama Oz. Its hard to picture someone as a cop or a forensics expert if you're reaction when you see them is to think "didn't that guy get prison raped on Oz?"

Aint it Cool News has run two reviews of the new Indiana Jones movie and based on those this movie is gonna be a disappointment. One review compared Harrison Ford to Roger Moore in his last Bond movie...YIKES.

Speaking of Bond movies, I'm looking forward to the new one. Daniel Craig was great in Casino Royale....rebooting the franchise and casting Craig were great ideas. Made Bond interesting again.

You can't talk Bond without talking bout the Cold War....the Russians are back to their old tricks...they've rolled out their tanks for a parade. Ya gotta admit, as far as bad guys go, the Russians beat middle eastern terrorists any day of the week.

So Roger Clemens issued an apology this week....but didn't say what he was apologizing for....was it for using steroids, cheating on his wife (repeatedly), child molestation (speculation one tryst was with a 15 year old girl which Clemens denies)...One of the affairs was with messed up country singer Mindy McCready so maybe the Rocket contributed to her downfall too. You can say you're sorry all you want Rocket.....you are a sorry human being.

Hillary Clinton has loaned herself 6 million bucks to keep her campaign afloat. Her people have slashed expenses to run bare bones rallies of Clinton supporters in West Virginia. Why won't this woman quit? Why does she fail to see what is painfully obvious? You've lost Hill. Quit acting like Dubya and accept reality.

Oil opened at a record $125 a barrel today meaning we're likely to pay $4 a gallon any day now. What life changing event will it take for Americans to get off the couch and take to the streets demanding change? Maybe if I held a rally to end the war and high gas prices and promised a free buffet to all who attend that could do it.

Co-worker "Oh no! I lost my Bluetooth headset!" Furniss "This is a problem how?"

The O.M.O.M. and I will be convening the first summit to end the Pussification of America this weekend. Stay tuned to this blog for announcements on the war on the P.O.A.

Remember your Mom this weekend. Sunday is Mother's Day. I know the holiday sucks but it could be worse...you could be Melissa Etheridge's kids and have two mommy's.

C-I-L-L my landlord....

Mayhem:MOTORHEAD -Live- Jailbat

I DARE you to find a cooler rock god than Lemmy. Dude is 60 some odd years old and still rocking harder than men half his age and he's still landing porn star girlfriends. You wanna be like Lemmy but ya can't....

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mayhem:BOC:Cities on Flame

It ain't Godzilla, but its BOC....