Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Post Holiday Weekend Blues

Words cannot express how much I dread returning to work...the Memorial Day weekend was quite productive but I could have used another day of sitting around and doing nothing. I did way too much yard work over the long weekend. The pollen count alone was enough to make me feel like I was in hell. My allergies are killing me and I feel like my head's gonna bust open.

The BlastFurniss family enjoyed a visit to the O.M.O.M.'s sprawling world headquarters and a good time was had by all. Mr. and Mrs. O.M.O.M. have a future in party planning. As I left their gated community and ventured back to the real world, I saw a guy being given a sobriety test in the McDonald's parking lot. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sad for the drunk....all he wanted was a little more beer padding. Still, the jackass shouldn't have been behind the wheel.

You had your choice of tv marathons over the could enjoy Law & Order on TNT, war flicks on TCM and AMC...the NFL Network was running a marathon of Top 1o shows (which was actually pretty one does better work than NFL Films) and VH1 Classic had a Metal themed Memorial Day weekend. I watched a lot of that because as an American I felt it my duty to remember all the bands who fought for my right to rock.

Checking the headlines....I think Sammy Hagar has killed too many brain cells. He claims his new band Chickenfoot, featuring Michael Anthony, Chad Smith of the Chili Peppers and Joe Satriani, will rival Led Zeppelin. This has failure written all over it....anyone remember Sammy's last supergroup Planet Us (that was with Neal Schon and Slash) or the one project that actually saw a release, the terrible HSAS?

Why do musicians ever bother with the whole "supergroup" idea in the first place? Name one good can't. In the name of Asia and GTR I beg you to stop.....

Hanoi Rocks has announced that they've hired a new related news, Vince Neil says he plans to resume driving drunk.

Note to self...when hanging out with guests at the O.M.O.M. compound do not make jokes in reference to the Station Fire and Great White....

Anthropologists have conclusively determined that Warrant lead singer Jani Lane is actually the mysterious Yeti.

Krokus has announced a reunion of its "classic" lineup....Can I sue Krokus for this? This is an act of consumer fraud because Krokus never had a lineup that could be considered classic.

Note to anyone who runs a website...if you quit your day job in hopes that you can make a living off of your site, don't come crying to your readers begging for money to help support you. Yes, I'm talking to you Andrew McNeice of Maybe Joe Elliot will give you 12 bucks to keep your site up but not me.....

Note to Stephen Pearcy, Bret Michaels and Geoff Tate...if no one is interested in buying tickets or cd's to see your past your prime bands, why would be interested in buying your solo cd's or going to your sold concerts?

If Vince Neil really has a fetish for driving drunk and taking out drummers, he oughta consider taking out his own. Last week we talked about how Tommy Lee was gonna do a show for the Discovery Channel (I think it was Discovery...could be TLC....they blur together) now comes word that the 3 legged drummer has an animated series in the works.....I already thought he was a cartoon character?

That's all I have for today. Tomorrow...a hint at the future..Until then I'm Lou O'Neill Jr. thanks for reading the BackPages of Circus Magazine.


O.M.O.M. said...

I made a Great White joke last year when American Dog played the basement at the No Hold's BBQ. It went over about as well as yours did...

My tuberculosis kept the party from being better, I was running at about 30%, I was pretty bummed at my inability to throw the Full OMOM.

Mrs. omom suckered me into that TLC show with the couple with the 8 kids. The show made me angry, a domineering mom henpecking a dad that looks like he wants to shoot himself every minute of the day. The wife goes on about how tough it is having twins and sextuplets, well, that's what you get when you mess with fertility drugs. I'd like to move in next to them, throw a proper Omomboree and really give her something to gripe about.

E. S. Furniss said...

I'm sure its a horrible feeling to struggle to conceive a child, yet, like you, I have no sympathy for women who take fertility drugs. You're gonna end up with a freakin' litter. Corporate America only encourages these people too...they are always giving away free vans, cribs, formula, etc as an advertising gimmick.

Mrs. Furniss doesn't tune into the show you mentioned. Instead we get to watch Wife Swap and Super Nanny. ABC has rejected my show idea, Nanny Swap. Wife Swap is essentially the same show each can always count on the neat freak, the slob, the morbidly obese, the overly strict, and overly giving parent to turn up in each episode. Just once I'd like to tune in and see that a chick has to go live with a family of midgets for two weeks.

When I'm elected King, I promise to tax the hell out of people who have more than two kids. Unless you're running a sweat shop no one needs to have 10 kids.

Even with TB, 30% of an OMOM party is better than nearly all others (that Lindsay Lohan has got ya beat). From now I'm just making fun of Jack Russell. Those lacking a background in lame bands will think I'm cutting on a breed of dog.

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