Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Enuff Z'Nuff - Right By Your Side

One last blast for 2007...this vid was away from YouTube for awhile and I had to share. The most underrated, underappreciated band that ever was...the amazing Enuff Z'Nuff.

Its Prediction Time

So here we are...the year is at its end. The start of a new year means a lot of things but what it offers more than anything is hope. Hope that the new year is better than the one before. My friends I have one major reason to look forward to 2008...the end of the Bush presidency. I was convinced nothing would ever suck as badly as Yo MTV Raps, but Dubya made a believer out of me.

Here are somethings you can take to the bank for 2008:

Sports Predictions:

The Cleveland Browns back into the NFL playoffs and knock off the Steelers in Pittsburgh. They put a scare into the New England Patriots the following week but the Patriots prevail despite Tom Brady being injured.

With Brady out of the line up the 18-0 Patriots fall to the Dallas Cowboys in the Super Bowl.

Ohio State is embarrassed again in the National Title game which results in a state wide boycott of sweater vests. Jim Tressel leaves to coach the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Cincinnati Reds continue to play like a Triple A team while the Indians fail to recapture last years magic and miss the playoffs. C.C. Sabathia leaves in free agency.

The Cleveland Cavaliers fail to make the playoffs. LeBron James demands to be traded.

The Columbus Blue Jackets fail to make the Stanley Cup playoffs. People in Columbus are too busy burning sweater vests to notice.

Entertainment Predictions:

The Hollywood writers strike lasts all year. America forgets about Dr. House, the castaways of Lost and all the other scripted fare thanks to a slate of mind numbing reality shows like Lets Count Britney's Pubes, The Drunkard, Whats in my Stool?, and Who Want's to Win a Midget?

Rocklahoma is such a success, the state of Oklahoma legally changes its name to Rocklahoma.

American Idol crowns its first transsexual winner.

J. J. Abrams Star Trek becomes the top grossing box office film of the year. Zachary Quinto's performance as Spock wins the hearts of the nation. Men and women begin having their ears surgically altered to resemble the Vulcan.

Desperate for programming, ABC launches a puppet version of NYPD Blue.

A bunch of rappers with names like Casio and Commodore 64 get arrested.

Other Predictions:

After the election is again contested, the next President is decided in a coin flip by Larry King. After losing to Hillary Clinton, Mike Huckabee goes to the Supreme Court demanding a best out of 3.

KFC is rocked by a scandal when its found that its recipe was actually created by a man in Alabama.

Sears and Kmart close their doors forever.

Snorting milk duds becomes the rage among the nations youth.

An opera record becomes the top selling album of the year.

McDonalds test a new sandwich in the south "McSquirrel"

And finally, this blog will be read by more than 5 people a day....

That's all I have for this year kids. Thanks for stopping by. I hope to do better in 2008. I'll ring in the new year by clubbing a hobo with a watching an apple drop.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Wii Whee Whee.....Dead Celebrities

The Nintendo Wii is going to change lives. It is the video game system equivalent of the polio vaccine. It has changed my life in just two short days. After spending an hour playing boxing last night I find myself tired and sore this morning. I look like Rocky at the end of the first movie. My eyes are arms heavy. Halo 2 never required me to expend so much energy. Neither did Donkey Kong, Madden, or any other game. Sure the Xbox 360 and PS3 might have better graphics, but for playability and sheer FUN, the Nintendo Wii can't be beat. They say you can't buy love, but you can buy the love of your family by getting a Wii.

I'm sick of all the year end wrap up stories that pass as news. You'll find no look back at 2007 here. I believe in looking forward to the New Year. Tomorrow (or maybe Monday...I haven't decided), we'll list my predictions of the events that will happen in 2008. Here's a sneak preview of the celebrities who will die in 2008:

Walter Cronkite (how old is he 90?)
Andy Rooney (again, too many birthdays)
Mike Wallace (ditto)
Bea Arthur (we'll finally learn that she is indeed a man)
Dick Van Dyke (all those pratfalls took years off his life)
Ed McMahon (again, those pesky birthdays)
Frank Gifford (suicide....after realizing he's married to Kathie Lee)
Norm Macdonald (oh wait...thats only his career thats dead)
Ozzy Osbourne (c'mon...its gotta happen soon don't ya think?)
Britney Spears (death by white trash screwup too many)
Queen Elizabeth
Kiefer Sutherland (drunk driving)
Heather Mills (Wouldn't Sir Paul be ever so happy?)
Peter Criss (but Eric Singer will replace him in the coffin)

Feel free to submit your dead celeb predictions.

The last issue of Y the Last Man hits comic book shelves on January 30th. If you've never read the Brian K. Vaughn, run, don't walk to your local comic shop or bookstore and pick up the trade paperbacks (come to think of it you could just order them online couldn't you?). You'll be glad ya did. The 60 issue series about the last man in the world may be coming to an end in print, but a film adaptation is in the works.

Hmmm...started the post with a plug and ended it with's BlastFurniss was brought to you by the Nintendo Wii, Y the Last Man, and the number 69.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Happy Xmas

So this is Christmas.......Even a cynic like me can't help but love this song. Happy Christmas everyone.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Mr Hanky

There is no better way to celebrate Xmas than a giant poo.

BlastFurniss Woman of the Year

Everybody has their "man of the year" or "sportsman of the year." Why no "woman of the year" award? Why are the ladies being denied these meaningless honors? Well baby you've come a long way! It is my pleasure to right this wrong. It is with great honor that I bestow the inaugural BlastFurniss award for Woman of the Year to Giada de Laurentiis.
I can think of no one more deserving of such an honor than the lovely host of the Food Network show Everyday Italian. I didn't even let Ms. de Laurentiis participation in the unnecessary 4th hour of the Today show sway me from giving her this honor. No sir (or madam)...this gal is the single best reason to justify the existence of the Food Network. I've obviously never tasted anything she's prepared in the kitchen, but you can tell just by looking at her that she's quite the dish.
The BlastFurniss will be shut down on Christmas Day and New Year's Day but I continue to spew crap among the masses every other day. Sometime next week I'll unveil my predictions for 2008. Jeanne Dixon ain't got nothin' on me. If you want to know who the first ten celebrities to die in 2008 will be, this is the place to find out. Wanna know the name of the next president of the US of A? Be here next week.
The Daily Show and Colbert Report are returning to the airwaves:
Spinner counts down the best songs of 2007 (so you don't have to worry bout keeping your feet on the ground and reaching for the stars):
If you have the Sundance Channel, make sure to check out the Nimrod Nation marathon on Saturday:
Could this be the first stage in the long deserved death of Ticketmaster?:
The Eagles claim they were asked to play the Super Bowl but turned it venue is big enough to contain Don Henley's overinflated ego:
This news is a few days old...the good news? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony is finally gonna take place in Cleveland. The bad news? Madonna is still one of the inductees:
Your Columbus Blue Jackets need to kick it into gear before this season turns into a replay of all that came before:
It won't be a very Merry Xmas for me if the Browns don't beat the Bengals on Sunday:
I'm off to wrap gifts and watch Everyday Italian on the Food Network.....have a swell weekend.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Monster Ballads Xmas-

Have you picked this up yet? I downloaded it. You ain't heard White Christmas until you heard it sung by Geoff Tate of Queensryche!

Christmas Fever

Do you have the Xmas Fever? Are you caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season? Me, I'm just anxious to be done with it.

Bowl season kicks off tonight. Navy and Utah square off in the Poinsettia Bowl. This of course if the first of 125 bowl games to be played between now and I believe July 4th. My how things have changed from the good old days of college football when every bowl that mattered was on New Years Day. I still don't see why bowl season can't be wrapped up on January 1st. Doesn't seem right that games go on for an additional week. I don't think the world would be a lesser place without the pageantry of the Meineke Car Care bowl.

I'm willing to bet less than 10 percent of Americans will give or receive porn movies for Christmas gifts this year.

I bet more people are getting smut then Kindles this year. I'm a tech guy yet I really have no interest in the latest toy to download books. Isn't it really just as easy to carry a real book around?

Was a bad week for Sci Fi TV fans...first it was the airing of the last eps of Journeyman and now yesterday USA announced the cancellation of the 4400 and the Dead Zone. Anthony Michael Hall shouldn't have to file for unemployment at Christmas. Its just wrong!

No foolin'....REM's next bad record comes out on April Fools Day:

Robert Plant is gonna be the subject of a new bio:

Here are the Top 20 cover tunes of 2007:

21 Winter Wonderland mash up....and hey, it features Stryper so you know its cool and Godly:

Before he was an opinionated giant douche, Curt Schilling was a big time fan of hair metal:

I always hated Stinger, the disgraced mascot of your Columbus Blue Jackets, but after reading this, he ain't so bad compared to the other mascots of the NHL:

Meet Darrell Mack...he'll be playing in the Poinsettia Bowl tonight....he's been thru more crap than humans should be allowed...:

Somewhere a tv producer is realizing that a reality show on the mascots of the NHL would make fine viewing....

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Gone Gone Gone

Just like to thank Robert Plant and Allison Kraus...their version of Gone, Gone, Gone is the best song I've heard all year. In fact...its the BlastFurniss song of the year (everyone else is awarding "best of 2007" crap, why can't I?). When I first heard Plant and Kraus were doing a record, I kinda scratched my head and said "What the f?" But when you hear the two of them together it makes perfect sense. Plant's voice begins where Elvis's wails in Mystery Train ends...he has a classic rockabilly voice which blends beautifully with the queen of bluegrass, Ms. Kraus. Their whole record is fantastic but Gone, Gone, Gone is just a joy.

I'd give out a whole host of "best of" awards for the year in music. But the year pretty much sucked. There were reunions I welcomed: Van Halen, Led Zep, Crowded House...Reunions I thought would be cool but weren't:the Police.....and reunions I would have prevented if I could:Genesis.

Here's really all that needs to be said about the year in music...the top selling record belonged to Chris Daughtry..a dude that had the sense NOT to win American Idol. Get didn't even sell three and a half million copies. Those are some pretty sorry sales numbers. Daughtry is considered to be a big hit but 20 years ago, he'd have sold less than Ratt.

So Lynne Spears, Britney's Mom, was due to have a book on parenting released....Well as you might have heard there's been a snafu in those plans...since Britney's little sister, 16 year old Teen Nick star Jamie Lynn is with child. Thats some quality parenting there Lynne. Keep parenting like that and you may top Adolf Hitler's Mom on the "worst Moms ever" list. I just hope the woman isn't capable of having additional children. The world has enough white trash and can't possibly add more head count.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Turd Sandwich of the Year

Selecting the BlastFurniss Turd Sandwich of the Year required a lot of thought and caused me much stomach upset. I kept going back and forth from a number of different candidates. There were so many pieces of shite to choose from but I finally came to a decision.....
But first lets discuss who it isn't: Its not much as he deserves it for waging this war without end. Trillions of dollars and thousands of lives wasted and for what? NOTHING. Sure he's deserving but as much as it pains me to say, the idiots of Congress and the American people allowed this travesty to occur.
I gave serious attention to bestowing the honor to the news media. This year we've been subjected to all sorts of coverage on Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, the feuds at the View...not to mention the usual fare like missing wives, what we eat might be bad for us, etc, etc, etc. ....while spending precious little air time on important issues like the war, poverty, the plight of Africa...but the news media does this because the American people want them to.
The Turd Sandwich of the Year then should go the American people then...but it isn't.
No the Turd Sandwich of the Year goes to Michael Vick. Lets face it, of all the stupid pieces of shite this year he was the biggest poo in the potty. The mess Vick made of his life must have weighed at least 300 Courics (if you don't watch South Park you didn't get that......A Couric is a system of weights and measures used to measure poo....300 Courics would mean its equal to 300 Katie Courics). Quite simply Michael Vick had the American Dream and he pissed it all away thru his own arrogance and greed. C'mon...dogfighting? Really? This is what gets you off? Worse than it being a vile act, to finance and participate in such an operation when you are a starting quarterback in the NFL with one of the richest contracts in all of sport (and an endorsement deal to match) is just the height of ignorance. For these acts of stupidity, Michael Vick is the BlastFurniss Turd Sandwich Winner of the Year.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Giant Douche of the Year

Welcome to the First Annual BlastFurniss Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich List. Today it is my pleasure to bestow the Giant Douche of the Year award to Oprah Winfrey.
Yes Oprah Winfrey...a woman more full of herself than Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton combined. Ya see Oprah has what those 3 floozies will never have...credibility. Yet, if the media did its job, Oprah would be wallowing in the muck of public opinion with those 3 stooges....Lets review:
Oprah opens a girls school in Africa that is rocked by an abuse scandal. The head mistress at the school allegedly had it her way with some of the girls at the school. Oprah goes to school, apologizes to parents, sheds some tears...story goes away.
Oprah throws her support behind Barrack Obama for President. Obama seems like a decent enough guy but Oprah's endorsement of him makes me look at him in an entirely new light. I don't want to like anything Oprah likes. Plus, remember, Oprah told us all to read A Million Little Pieces and look how that worked out for James Frey? Oprah endorsed Frey and he turned out to be a fraud..who's to say that can't happen with Barrack Obama too? After 8 years of Dubya, the last thing this country needs is another fraud in the White House.
Oprah Winfrey, your 2007 BlastFurniss Giant Douche of the year.
The runners up: Rosie O'Donnell, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Katie Couric, William Shatner (enough of your whining already about not being in the new Trek movie), Pope Benedict, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Bill O'Reilly, Comedian Rush Limbaugh, Michael Richards, and the Rev. Richard Roberts.
Tomorrow we'll name our Turd Sandwich winner.......

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Live Snow blog-Updated

In tribute to all the hard men and women in the news media who stand by the busy interstate to let you know its snowing outside, thus sparing you the agony of having to look out your window, this is the BlastFurniss live snow blog.

Its 1:45 PM and its currently snowing.

Feel free to continue going about your lives.

Updated...515PM....So riddle me this true believers, why is it that the local tv stations will run crawls or block half the screen with their annoying weather graphics during the week but come the weekend they make no mention of the weather? Here we are knee deep in snow and I've not seen one cut in on a local channel. How will we make it thru the storm if the local news folks don't tell us?

Oh...its still snowing...and it ain't about to stop anytime soon.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Runnin' Down a Dream

If you have the Sundance Channel make sure you check out the new documentary on Tom Petty they are running. Called Running Down a Dream this 4 hour flick is one of the best rock flicks I've ever seen. Sure Tom Petty made a record with Dave Stewart but other than that he's been pretty darn flawless. Plus he's a voice on King of the Hill...which makes him darn cool.

Juiced Up

I must confess I've been using performance enhancing steroids since I started this blog. My hope is that it would make me more prolific. Instead its given me man boobs and zits on my back.

So how 'bout that Mitchell Report? Being a cynic nothing surprised me. Like I posted yesterday prior to the report's release, the names in it are just the tip of the iceberg. A couple dozen combined Reds and Indians players made the list. As a Tribe fan I'm relieved to see that none of the big boppers from their resurgence in 90's made the list. Albert Belle may have juiced his bats but his ass stayed needle free. Roger Clemens can't say that. The Rocket is just as pathetic as Barry Bonds. Both were destined for the Hall of Fame before they decided to cheat. Clemens is getting off a heckuva lot easier than Fat Head did:

Ya know who comes out smelling like a rose in this? Pete Rose. Suddenly he doesn't seem as big of a cheater.

The other big story today is the weather. Big snowfall in the forecast. I have no place to be this weekend so I don't care. Let it snow. Should make for some fine football viewing come Sunday when the Browns host the Bills. Northeast Ohio could see a foot of snow. I'll be blogging live from the highway this weekend to let you know what the roads are like and to remind you that its snowing outside. I'll be making history this weekend by conducting the first live blog devoted to snow.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame f'd up again. I have no problem inducting John Mellencamp and I'll cut some slack to the Dave Clark Five.....I'll even give a pass to the Ventures. But how do you induct Leonard Cohen and not Warren Zevon? I'll take the Beastie Boys but freaking Madonna? What has Madonna ever done for rock music? NOTHING. The Rock Hall is a joke. No one should go thru its doors until Kiss is admitted entry. I'm not kidding. Kiss has had a greater influence than anyone inducted this year (or most other years). Sign the petition to get Kiss into the Rock Hall here:

Could the late night hosts be coming back?:

Rolling Stone ranks the 100 best songs of 2007:

This new Batman movie is just gonna be killer:

No band made more money on the road this year than the Police:

Save Journeyman!:

I meet a lot of people who just don't understand hockey. Since they don't understand it they attempt then to make fun of it. But since they don't understand it, their attempts to make fun of it fail. If you're gonna bash hockey, please, follow these steps:

That's all I've got...I'm off to get some supplies for my live snow blog this weekend. Remember coming next week is the First Annual BlastFurniss Giant Douche & Turd Sandwich list. Will your favorite douche of the year make it?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Legends of the Superheroes - Robin Crashes The Batmobile

This just might be one of the worst programs that ever aired on network tv.

Does Anyone Care About the Mitchell Report?

So today's the day....former Senator George Mitchell unveils his long awaited report on steroid use in baseball. Mitchell is expected to name about 80 players who juiced by name. He's also expected to blame MLB and the MLB Players Association for creating an environment that allowed the drug culture to fester. Well duh....that conclusion was so obvious even Stevie Wonder could have seen that fat fastball coming down the middle of the plate. It was obvious all along that after the 1994 strike that MLB was all too happy to accept cheating as long as it put fans in the seats and drew attention to the game. The players were all too happy to jab needles in their ass because it meant fat paychecks and glory. But there is sure to be a glaring ommission in Mitchell's report: the fans.

Those idiots in San Francisco who cheered on Barry Bonds pursuit of Hank Aaron's record and didn't care that his head was so big it blocked out the're to blame. Fans of St. Louis who worshipped Mark Mcguire with a devoted blind're to blame. For anyone who thought Brady Anderson was just having a great year when he hit 50 homers after never hitting 30 before, you're to blame. MLB, the MLBPA, and the fans of baseball all knew something was going on yet everyone turned a blind eye and just kept forking over the cash. Baseball, as always, had to be dragged kicking and screaming to make the changes necessary to preserving the integrity of the game. For every player to be named in Mitchell's report there are surely 10 more who got away with cheating and their deceit will be lost to history.

Have you seen the new HBO documentary on Don Rickles? Absolutely fascinating viewing. I wish I'd recorded it. Some fantastic stories on everyone from Carson to Benny to Dean Martin and Sinatra. Rickles is one of the last link to an era when stars earned their fame unlike today when people are famous just for being famous.

With the passing of IkeTurner yesterday, O.J. Simpson now inherits the title of America's best known wife beater. Congrats've earned it!

Ya gotta hand it to the Democrats...they really know how to alienate their base. Looks like after being elected to bring the war in Iraq to an end they are gonna go ahead and vote to give Bush $70 billion more to throw away. Not only is it time to stop fighting the war in Iraq, its time to end the war on drugs. $50 million spent this year and for what? Its just wasted moeny and it makes sense to use the money on me.

Speaking of wasted money...Forbes has a list of the most overpaid celebrities (thats gonna be a long long list):

Anyone who thinks they are gonna be able to find a Nintendo Wii before Xmas probably still believes in Santa Claus too:

Did the Grinch steal the Led Zep reunion clips on YouTube?:

There is a release date for the Flight of the Conchords cd:

I never write about soccer. And with good reason, it sucks! But how can you resist a soccer coach who is willing to promote his fascist beliefs?:

A dude is trying to set a record for most time spent in a snowglobe:

I can't believe I just linked to a story about a guy living in a snowglobe. I'm off for burritos.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Letterman on Carson -

Here's David Letterman stopping by to visit Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show in 1990. I believe this was Dave's next to last visit to see the King of Late Night. The Brandon Tartikoff story is a hoot as is the Corvette story.

Hail to the King

Due to the writers strike, the late night talk shows have been in reruns for weeks now. While Letterman, until this week, was running more recent reruns, The Tonight Show has reached further back into the past from the early days of Jay Leno's tenure. Sadly, they should have reached back further and put Carson back on the air. A 20 year old episode of the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson would be a million times better than Leno from any era. Lets be clear: I hate Jay Leno. Despise him. I find him snarky and unfunny. I've laughed at cancer more than I've laughed at Jay Leno. I didn't always feel this way. When Leno made guest appearances on the old Letterman show I thought he was funny. But around the time he became the permanent guest host of the Tonight Show I lost interest. Leno is comedy's version of the guy who wins the Heisman Trophy but sucks when he gets to the NFL.

I believe America is split into two camps: Letterman or Leno. It is impossible to like both. That fat head Tim Russert will tell you its red state vs blue state but he's nothing more than a dry erase board pushing pawn of the establishment. Letterman, not Leno, was the rightful heir to Carson's late night television kingdom. Sure Leno beats Letterman in the ratings but Americans always make bad decisions when it comes to who should lead (for example, the presidency of George W. Bush).

Carson returned to the air during the last writers strike and NBC should return him now.

Since nearly everyone does some kind of year end wrap up or best of list, I feel obligated to follow suit. Before the end of the year look for the BlastFurniss Douchebag List before the end of the year.

Speaking of douchebags, lets talk about Bobby Petrino. This nimrod leaves Louisville to take over the Atlanta Falcons and doesn't even last a whole season before leaving the NFL and heading back to college. Yesterday Petrino bailed on the Falcons to take the head coaching job at Arkansas. Think about that....How bad must your job suck if you decide you'd be happier living in Arkansas?

The gig's up for one of my fave shows of the season....Dan Vasser has gone on his last

Mike Patton went from being the lead singer of Faith No More to doing voices like the guy in Police Academy? Thats kinda like moving to Arkansas:

Happy birthday Commodore 64! The pc that once appeared in Star Trek III is now 25:

Here's Blender's list of the worst duets of all better include Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford! Oh does:

Could the Led Zep reunion be making a stop in NYC?:

Fukudome...too bad Harry Carey is dead...I'd have loved to have heard him pronounce that name:

Looks like baseball is about to name names in the steroid scandal that has plagued MLB: people attend John Carroll?:

What happens when a shark attacks a kangaroo?:,22049,22905539-5001021,00.html

I'm off to go watch Bowling for Dollars on DVD...have a great Wednesday!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Song Remains the Same

By all accounts last nights Led Zeppelin reunion show was nothing short of brilliant. Old codgers? Dinosaur rock? The Times of London says Led Zep was nothing of the sort last night "At a rehearsal a few weeks ago, Plant was heard to complain about the challenges of divining a voice of a 20-year-old from the body of a 60-year-old man. He needn’t have worried. Older equipment may take a while to get going, but once the requisite valves heat up, the quality is unmistakable" Shame there wasn't a live broadcast of this concert last night. I think they would have done big business with this as a pay per view or maybe as one of those concerts shown in movie theaters. Rumor has it that it'll be out on DVD by this time next year. Lets hope that Zeppelin comes out of the hangar every once and awhile to remind fans of rock that once upon a time gods lived among them.
MSNBC says last nights show is proof the band needs to do a full blown tour:
Here's the setlist:
“Good Times, Bad Times”“Ramble On”“Black Dog”“In My Time of Dying”“For Your Life”“Trampled Under Foot”“Nobody’s Fault But Mine”“No Quarter”“Since I’ve Been Lovin’ You”“Dazed and Confused”“Stairway To Heaven”“The Song Remains the Same”“Misty Mountain Hop”“Kashmir”
Encore:“Whole Lotta Love”“Rock and Roll
Dogfighting landed Mike Vick in prison for 23 months. That nearly 2 year sentence was handed down by the judge yesterday. Seems the judge was hacked off that the former Falcons QB didn't cooperate with the Feds as he promised at the time of his plea. Vick also failed a drug test. Here's hoping that the NFL bans this sick bastard for life. Here's hoping as well that the NFL does something about this....Two Falcons players last night wore signs of support for ASPCA's poster child for animal cruelty. Cornerback D'Angelo Hall wore facepaint that spelled out "MV7" while receiver Roddy White wore a t shirt under his jersey that said "Free Mike Vick" on it. White's t shirt might not have caused him any problems had he not lifted his jersey to show it to the world. Both players are deserving of heavy fines from the league and will likely get it as no professional sports league is as image conscious as the NFL. Vick is a thug and a criminal and not deserving of sympathy. I hope they serve him Alpo in prison.
Sadly this is no surprise...Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow died of a drug overdose. Only thing worse than using cliches is being one. Freakin' waste:
This is good are the most unnecessary greatest hits records of all time:
This list is bogus...its the 12 worst Xmas tunes of all time...How in the heck did Springsteen's Santa Claus is Comin' to Town make this?:
Does anyone wear those stupid zubaz pants anymore?
If you are bidding on game worn jockstraps you are a perv and probably gay too:
Take a moment today to remember the NHL which died 15 years ago today:
Last night's loss to Anaheim shows these aren't your same ol' Columbus Blue Jackets even if the end result was the same...however, until they learn to win games like this, the CBJ will not be a playoff team:
I'm off to go steal some Hannah Montana tickets......have a swell day.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Led Zeppelin

The Gods have returned to this mortal coil. Raise your goblet and drink to all that is holy in rock!

Power, Mystery & the Hammer of the Gods

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled.........
Today Led Zeppelin plays together for the first time since their induction into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame 12 years ago. While that
night they played 4 songs or so, tonight they'll play a full set of Zep classics for the first time in nearly 30 years. History will be made tonight my friends even if we aren't there to witness it first hand.
So dancing days are here again.......i
Why am I making such a fuss about a rock band? Quite simply, Led Zep was never just a rock band. Their music like Mozart, Louis Armstrong, and Muddy Waters is timeless. Yes you read that right...I put Led Zeppelin, a rock band, a HEAVY rock band, in the same league as Mozart. Led Zep is so great they can sing songs about the Lord of the Rings and you can still take them seriously. Not even John Lennon could have pulled off singing about Gollum.
'twas in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair....
In addition to having better songs than darn near every other band, Zeppelin has integrity by the crap load. The only career choice I disagree with them on was their decision to play Live Aid with Tony Thompson and Phil Collins sitting in on drums. Kinda hard to hold that against them when they were helping to raise money to feed the hungry. When they next played together they brought Jason Bonham on board to sit in for his late dad. A brilliant move. Since then it seems a rumor pops up every year that the band will reform and tour yet it never happens.
But now I laugh and pull so hard...See you swinging on the gallows pole
See unlike the Who, Led Zeppelin understood what each member brought to the band. Pete Townshend seemingly came to believe that it was his songs and Daltrey's voice that were the Who forgetting that Keith Moon and John Entwistle gave the band its pulse. Thats why everything the Who ever did without them is terrible. It simply has no heart. When Page and Plant got together in the mid to late 90's they knew if they included John Paul Jones on their No Quarter and Walking to Clarksdale records that they'd be thought of as Led Zep records. Jones hurt feelings at being excluded passed with time and Zep's integrity was maintained.
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow....Hammer of the Gods.....
The band has also done a masterful job of guarding its recorded work. Unlike say the Beatles and their anthology releases, the post-breakup output of Led Zeppelin has been handled in a very tasteful manner. Surely there are more outtakes than what came out on Coda (you'd think so anyway) but nothing has seen the light of day. Perhaps their worst breakup move was agreeing to allow Rock and Roll to be used in a car commercial a few years back. That might be the one time in the band's history they did something strictly for the money.
Sure as the dust that floats high in June...when movin' thru Kashmir....
So with tonight's show again comes talk of a full scale tour. Being good businessmen the members of Led Zeppelin drop hints that it might happen and it very well could but I personally doubt we'll ever see more than what we will tonight. Just some one off shows from a band that had the courage and dignity to quit while it was ahead. When Led Zeppelin called it a day on December 4, 1980 Robert Plant was just 32 years old. If the lure of what might have been or the desire to make a cash grab by reuniting hasn't sucked them in by now it likely never will. Raise your goblet high....The Gods have returned from Valhalla...for one night only.
Been a long lonely lonely time....yes it has.........

Friday, December 7, 2007

Mr Plow-The Movie

All I wanted was Homer singing the Mr. Plow song....sadly, its not on Youtube.

That Name Again is Mr Plow

Sorry todays blog was delayed by snow.

Another day, another snow fall. Not a plow in sight. Cars and semi trucks in the ditch. Pickup on my tail the whole way. Kids get another day off from school. Its amazing how 3 inches of snow can paralyze a town. Did you ever notice when it snows that all the other news in the world is just ignored? They could cure cancer and announce the discovery of a pill that burns fat while it thickens and hardens your member but you'd never hear about it if you're local station has 2 billion school delays to repeat ad nauseum.

Oh and a note to the media...Driving a snow plow doesn't make you a "snow warrior." I shovel the crap and you don't hear me going around asking to be called a "snowgun warrior."

I like Will Ferrell...this movie looks like shite:

Y the Last Man is the best comic of the last 10 years....but it will it ever come out as a movie:

Why was Santa such a prick in the Rudolph Xmas special?:

The Grammy nominations were announced yesterday. Not that anyone with taste in music gives a rats ass:

This JJ Abrams Cloverfield movie intrigues me. Check out this ad for Slusho:

Looks like the Hollywood writers strike will never end:

Even I'm starting to get sick of all these Led Zeppelin reunion stories:

Indy 4..I'm there...Jurassic Park 4...not so much:

A Rod is a real dick as a landlord:

Thank Jebus I benched Jason Campbell for this weeks fantasy football playoffs:

Curt Schilling should shut up:

Which hockey clubs are already pushing the panic button?:

Finally here are 10 reasons why the NFL Network and the BCS suck:

Enjoy the weekend campers!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Santa and Jesus Sing

If Xmas were always this much fun, I wouldn't hate it so.

In Praise of Wikipedia

I lost two hours of my life last night surfing various topics on Wikipedia. Between Wiki and YouTube I'm tempted to never leave the house. While reading entries on the Three Stooges, Abbot and Costello and Laurel and Hardy, I opened another browser to surf YouTube for videos of all 3 legendary comedy acts. Never until last night had I seen color video of a near death and Karen Carpenter thin Oliver Hardy. Never had I heard Larry Fine interviewed. I did not know that Bud Abbot was born in Asbury Park, NJ. Wikipedia is essentially the finest bathroom reading in the world...sadly, I have no laptop and can't wheel my pc into the bathroom.

Its amazing that the Stooges, Laurel & Hardy, Abbot & Costello, and the Marx Brothers are still so incredibly popular. Think people will still find Seth Rogen funny in 2077? I don't think so.

So did Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock find bin Laden or not?:

Its pretty f'ing sad that someone can shoot up a shopping mall and its not mentioned until 20 minutes into a newscast. Thats what happened this morning. Ya know how you put a stop to these kinds of incidents? Gun control. Americans are too lazy to stab 9 people. Stabbing someone requires you to expend energy something Americans loathe to do.

Do they even make rock posters anymore?:

I love comic books. I enjoy comic book movies but some of them flat out suck. Here are the worst offenders:

I guess Led Zeppelin has finally made the big time...they are on the cover of the Rolling Bob Plant has to buy some copies for his mother:

Here's a look at the trailer to the new Narnia flick, Prince Caspian:

Chicago Tribune readers recently ranked the worst tv shows of all time...Its a shame Manimal isn't on the list:,0,3311738.story?coll=zap-news-headlines

Now here are the worst timeouts in the history of sports:

Only in baseball can you flat out suck and still make 18 million bucks a year:

Go here to find out what your Grinch name is. Mine is Scroogeygrinch Wickedfoot:

Less than 3 weeks and Xmas is in our rearview mirror....let that thought keep ya warm today kids.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Mr. Mackey - Ding Dong Mmkay

Christmas sucks. South Park doesn't. South Park Christmas shows make the season worthwhile.

Snow Daze

First snow of the season, first snow day off from school for the kids. That my friends is when snow is fun...if it can get you out of work or school its fine. Otherwise, its just a nuisance. I've already had to go out and shovel the white crap. So far this morning I've seen 3 tv reporters broadcasting from the Franklin County salt barn, 6 reporters broadcasting from the highway to tell me its snowing, 1 snow plow and 2 cars in the ditch. Winter...I hate it. On the bright side, its just about 2 1/2 months until baseball's spring training starts.

Over the next few days I'll be running as much South Park Xmas video as I can find. Nothing says Christmas like Cartman's anti-Semitic carols or a talking singing piece of poo in a Santa hat.

Yesterday I told you Led Zep and Metallica were rumored to be the headline act at a festival next year. It appears I lied:

Here's the New York Times Top 100 Books of the year:

If you are a tard when it comes to Star Trek, here's an A to Z primer to get ya ready for next year's movie:

If you don't like Robot Chicken, you have no soul:

Here are the 10 worst holiday bad guys and no Jesus isn't on the list:

Will this tv writers strike ever end?:

Adam Brody is the Flash...but this Justice League movie has "suck" written all over it:

This new John C. Reilly movie Walk Hard is gonna be great:

Leave it to Canada to find a way to fight file sharing:

You thought those "make some noise" prompts at an Indians game were bad, the Chinese have taken fan participation to a new level:

Meet the worst sports cities:

Samari Rolle should shut the f up should all the with it already boys (oops!):

Who wouldn't want to bid on Mark Messier's tear stained jersey?:

Thats all I've got...enjoy the snow....and try not to die on the highway.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

For your holiday viewing please, the complete Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Let it Snow in Hell

Why do adults get excited about snow? If you like to ski I can understand it but for those of us who have no desire to go speeding down a snow covered hill, why do you like to see snow? The forecast calls for a couple inches of the white stuff over night. People are all abuzz like winning lottery tickets are about to fall from the sky. I can understand being excited about the snow when you're a kid. There's the chance of a snow day from can build a snowman, go sledding or chuck a few snowballs at a hobo. Snow for me means dangerous driving and manual labor. I hate shoveling the crap and I can't afford a snow blower on my pauper like wages. For office fun this winter play this game: When a severe storm is in the forecast, stroll into your office in the morning and announce you just came from the grocery store and that they are nearly out of bread, milk and bottled water. I guarantee you at least one single mother in your office will freak out and seek permission to be dismissed early in order to stock up for the coming storm. Snow..what is it good for? Absolutely nothin'.

Next time your in Subway if they ask you if you'd like your sub toasted tell them "No thanks, I'm allergic to toast." The look on the sandwich engineer's face is priceless.

Did you catch the end of that Patriots/Ravens game last night? Lots of talk that the game was handed to the Pats and why I'm the first to believe that professional sports are fixed, I don't think that was the case last night. Considering the cheating allegations against the Pats this season, I don't see the NFL looking to help them out. I hate the Patriots and believe Tom Brady should be forced to undergo a vasectomy before he knocks up anymore supermodels. That being said I hate the Ravens more and I'm glad they lost in painful fashion last night.

One day Brett Favre won't be playing football anymore and America's most popular sport will be dominated by prima donna's like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Alex Smith..well not, Alex Smith, he sucks (plus thats the first time anyone has mentioned Alex Smith in the same sentence with Brady and Manning). Favre could have played in any era which to me is about the highest accolade you can give an athlete..he's SI's Sportsmen of the Year:

This is a list the O.M.O.M. and TFO will love...Blender ranks the most recognizable guitars:

Led Zeppelin and you wouldn't go check them out :

Learn all about the first 6 minutes of the new Batman movie:

Yesterday I posted the best Xmas tv specials, here's the 20 worst holiday movies as ranked by EW...Santa Claus the Movie has to be on this list:,,20163370,00.html?xid=rss-CNNHome-20071203-20+worst+holiday+movies

If you wanna know when your fave holiday special is on, here's a handy dandy guide:

Your Columbus Blue Jackets played Santa last night and gave away a game to Dallas. Pascal LeClaire deserved better:

Finally, Pennsylvania's Puerto Rican population forced the Phillies new minor league team to chance the name of the Mascot because "Pork Chop" is offensive to Hispanics:

Guess I'll have to be careful if I ever order pork chops from a Latino butcher or waiter.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Evel Knievel's Greatest Jump

He's not really dead...if we remember him in toy form.


Crap. Here we go again. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad Ohio State backed into the BCS National Championship game. They did a heck of a lot better than I thought they would this season. How was I to know at the beginning of the season when I picked them to lose 3 games that 2007 was to be the year of mediocrity in college football? I don't begrudge the OSU players or coaches their accomplishment...what ticks me off about going to the BCS title game is over a month of hype from the Columbus media. From now until January 7th its all BCS bowl talk all the time. You'll be able to start your own OSU football drinking game: every time Clay Hall says "silver bullet defense" drink....Every time Mindy Dreyer says "buckeye nation" drink....Every time someones a story on fake tickets, travel packages or says "sweater vest" you drink. In case of a tie, anytime utters the phrase (or something similar) "Ohio State doesn't rebuild they reload" the first to drink 3 beers and 2 shots wins.

For what its worth, I think OSU is gonna get stomped just like they did earlier this year. All LSU has to do is stop Chris Wells and its game over. Then again, I thought they'd lose 3 games thsi season. Heck, I thought going into last season that Jim Tressel might even get fired.

Before I quit bashing the local media, I guess winter is here. I saw the first reporter standing by the interstate letting me know that I might encounter high wind and a snow flurry. The idiot reporter was holding a wind gauge. The measurement? 8mph with gusts up to 16mph! Why those winds are so strong, your hair might move.

Tried watching that Sci Fi channel reimagining of Wizard of Oz last night..Tin Man? Crap. Don't waste your time. I cashed out in 15 minutes.

Tom Petty is your Super Bowl halftime entertainment:

Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones talk up the Led Zep reunion and teen pregnancy....what? nope..scratch that..they just discuss pregnant teens:

Here's your chance to buy a celebrities unwanted crap:

Evel Knievel is dead...this leaves those who have sex with Britney Spears as our only living daredevils:

If Kevin Smith were casting the Justice League movie, and he's not, he'd cast Michael Keaton as Batman. That's a really good idea...but the idea of George Reeves coming back as Superman? Ain't gonna happen either:

Did you know someone ranked the 100 best Xmas shows of all time?:

Your Columbus Blue Jackets are set to make one of their few national tv appearances tonight (thats good news for the 4 of you who have Versus). December looks to be a big month for the CBJ:

Barry Bonds may be a jerk...but so were these late 19th century baseball players:

I'm off for 72 hours of psychiatric observation....have a great Monday!