Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Alice Cooper -

If you have to ask why the singer's name is Alice you're a flippin' idiot. This song is not Alice Cooper at his best but its perfect for Halloween and Rocktober. Alice Cooper is a two time feature artist.

Dokken - Dream Warriors

The only thing scary about this clip is Don Dokken's wig. Thats why Don Dokken's wig is todays Rocktober feature artist.

Helloween -

Thank Jebus Rocktober is over. I've run out of ideas for Rocktober feature artists. Ya waited 31 days for him, here they are, Helloween.


Went into Meijer this morning and would ya believe they are already doing away with the Halloween candy, costumes and decor to make way for more Xmas stuff? I'm too old for costumes but I am wearing a flannel shirt over a t shirt that says "I'm Evil." With my spiky hair if anyone asks who I'm supposed to be I can tell 'em I'm a lesbian.

For a guy that pretty much despises every holiday, I dig Halloween. Most years I take the day off and watch classic horror movies on tv. Of course, I do that on every holiday. What you've never watched I Dismember Mama on Xmas?

Speaking of movies, Unky Rory sends along good news for the Watchman movie:

Back to holidays and movies...The best part of Thanksgiving used to be the annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathons on Comedy Central. While the show has been off the air for several years now, the talent behind it has reassembled for a new project...sounds pretty cool:

My spider sense tells me there is gonna be a Spiderman 4:

Halloween if all about being one of the most evil corporations in America...Clear Channel....the company that banned Bruce Springsteen:,2933,306164,00.html

Take a peek at the gayest rock videos of all time....and yes Billy Squier is on the list:

Here's a list of the scariest rock videos....the same Billy Squier video had better be on that too:

I was gonna come to work dressed as Robert Goulet today but I thought that might be tasteless. So instead I came dressed as Bob Goulet's corpse:

Robert Plant explains why he wanted to make a record with Alison Kraus....and it wasn't cuz Fergie was busy:

A writers strike could mean no late night tv....If memory serves the last time the writers had a strke Carson actually wrote his own stuff:

Why does Time magazine have Bambi as the scariest movie on its all time Top 25 horror movie list?:,28804,1676793_1676808_1676840,00.html

I like the number one on this list better:

If anyone cares you can now download Van Morrison legally:

Oasis is still together?:

Can we please stop hyping the Colts/Patriots game this weekend?:

I guess Penn State fans didn't like having their asses handed to them by Ohio State last weekend. So they retaliated by taking it out on Buckeye fans after the game:

The NBA season started last night in case you didn't notice.

And you thought Joe Buck and Tim McCarver said stupid things...and that Peter North in that picture?:

If you didn't think Halloween was already the scariest day of the year, here's further proof...Vanilla Ice was born on October's a list of the scariest things to happen on Halloween:

Thats all I got. I'm off to put razor blades in apples.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

(London) Quireboys-

In 1990 I discovered Whiskey Rock. The Georgia Satellites had released In the Land of Salvation and Sin, the Black Crowes put out their first record and then came the London Quireboys....I had the holy trinity of whiskey rock in my cd player...but the Satellites split, the Crowes became a hippie jam band and the Quireboys..well, they took their whiskey home. Give it up for Spike and the Quireboys...your Rocktober feature artist.

Kane Roberts

Kane Roberts, the former Alice Cooperguitar player, is today's Rocktober Feature Artist. Why? I have no idea.

Ali G and Andy Rooney

How has Andy Rooney not died yet?


Hey didn't this guy end up with his own show on Bravo?


Kneel before the comedic god that is Sacha Baron Cohen


Jagshemash! I dare you....dare you I say to find a man funnier than Sacha Baron Cohen. I woke up this morning to a marathon of Da Ali G show on HBO. I was tempted to call off work just to enjoy it. Sadly, we'll probably never see the character of Borat again, but I look forward to the Bruno movie.

Who cares about the economic or foreign affairs policies of the man (and woman) who will replace "Supreme Warlord Premier George Walter Bush", lets watch as the media spends time discussing Mike Huckabee's music playlist:

Yankee fan Rudy Giuliani, who completely supports Premier Bush's 'war of terror" is getting heat for supporting the Red Sox in the World Series. Should anyone be surprised that a man who snuck his mistress into the mayor's mansion would change allegiances? Never trust a cross dresser people:

Is Michelle Malkin more evil than Ann Coulter?:

Jay Leno may be the least funny man alive.....and he's still getting fired in 2 years:

Elvis, a Beatle and the corpse who drew Charlie Brown are among the top earning dead celebs:

Why would anyone do a "where are they now?" bit on the cast of Dazed and Confused? Aren't most of them HUGE stars now?:

Are you still paying attention to the pumpkin?: You'd better be...rumor is that its Two Face from the new Batman movie :

Here's something as awful as that Larry King pic from last week:

I like Stephen Colbert. I like him a lot. So tell me, why am I not entertained by his presidential campaign?:

Who are the scariest rock stars?:

I'm sure Ozzy Osbourne is on that list....maybe thats why Geezer Butler says Black Sabbath isn't reuniting.....again...:

Whats the deal with all this attention to Joy Division?:,,20153727,00.html

Joe Torre doesn't look to be unemployed for long:

Oh those crazy Packers fans and their theme weddings:

Finally if life don't kill ya, this pizza will:

Monday, October 29, 2007

Great Moments in Sports

Have ya seen this crazy ass thing yet? Trinity and Millsaps, whoever they are and wherever they're from, had the craziest game ending play EVER.

Frehley's Comet

Everyone has a favorite member of Kiss. I met a dude who swore up and down that Mark St. John, had he not had a debilitating injury, would have become a bigger guitar hero than Eddie Van Halen. I know another dude who swore that Peter Criss was the Buddy Rich of his generation. He actually said this with a straight face and I believe him to be sincere. As for me, I always considered myself an Ace Frehley guy. I don't know if it was the sci fi makeup, the exploding guitar (Ok I know it more or less caught on fire rather than exploded but I only use the word "flaming" to describe Paul Stanley), or the great riffs but Ace was head and shoulders above the rest of the band for me. He far and away had the best solo records of anyone in the band....Its Frehley's Comet, the Rocktober Feature Artist of the day.

ENUFF Z' NUFF She Wants More (Live)

I'd planned on making EZN today's Rocktober feature artist before Ricky Parent died over the weekend. Sadly, I found no video of the band with Ricky to post. The band appears to have a new record due to come out but no release date as of yet. Check their website for I've said it before and I'll say it again, Enuff Znuff is the most unappreciated band ever.

King of the Lame Weekend

I've crowned myself King of the Lame Weekend....Each weekend I do nothing. This past weekend was a spectacular exhibition in killing time until deaths' sweet release. I'm getting quite good at it. The highlight of my weekend? Watching Star Trek Deep Space Nine on DVD. I really need to take up an interesting drug abuse or clubbing hobos. I have wasted my life. I really figured by this point in my life I'd be driving across the country in a van solving mysteries. Next weekend will be more entertaining. Have the Springsteen concert on Sunday and I'm considering going to this on Friday:

We live in a Porter Waggoner free world. The country singer died of lung cancer over the weekend. I couldn't tell you a single song the man sung but years of therapy will not remove the scars caused by the glitzy outfits he used to wear on tv. Enuff Znuff drummer Ricky Parent also died of cancer (colon) over the weekend. NBC news reporter Jim Cummins also died of cancer this weekend so the triad of dead celebrities is complete. Get your bets in now for the next 3 to die...My money is on Walter Cronkite, Kirk Douglas and Britney Spears (hey, a man's gotta dream).

Doesn't the "Chess Board" killer sound like something out of a movie?:

What ever happened to all those faith and values voters?:

If you happen to be an evangelical (and if you are why are you reading this blog?), and you find Halloween candy to be too devilish, here's some Jesus approved snacks for you to consume:

I didn't realize people actually took the time to rate t-shirts:

There are more episodes in store for Reaper:,0,388155.story?coll=zap-news-headlines

I love tv. Like Bart Simpson, it practically raised me. The thought of the writers going on strike and bringing a stop to it is like a parent abandoning an infant. I'd rather be strapped into my car seat and driven off a pier than live in a world without sweet mother tv:

The Green Lantern movie has a director:

I like William Shatner. In fact, I like William Shatner a lot. I'd like him more if he'd just shut up about not being included in the new Star Trek movie:;_ylt=AhWEeKdXmoysX7KMIGYt7sdxFb8C

What do you expect from something you can only buy at Walmart? The new Eagles record sucks:

Wait...there is actually a record for most people playing a Bob Dylan song at once?:

I support anyone who sues Clear Channel:

Michael Jackson stands to lose the house he probably molested Webster in:

If ya missed 'em Swervedriver has reformed.....of course Ace of Base has also reformed. Maybe it would be more newsorthy if a band decided not to reform:

If ya got nothing to do tonight, and you don't mind driving to Poughkeepsie, donut pitchman and Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley is playing an "unannounced" show. Excuse me...dude who wrote the article..If its unannounced, how do we know about it then?:

Well, I guess its safe to say the curse of Babe Ruth is over in Boston. Bastards. Hate them so much. I hope Manny Ramirez spills a piping hot bowl of chowder over his lap and burns his balls:

Here's what to watch for in this baseball offseason:

Of course, the Yankees couldn't live with the Red Sox owning October's spotlight so they had to do what the could to steal it. What do ya wanna bet that there are folks in NYC today hoping ARod becomes the next Cory Lidle?:

Chris Chelios is an amazing athlete. Not only is he America's last Revolutionary War veteran, he has played professional hockey since the Ice Age. Now he faces libel charges. If I'm Chelios, I argue senility:

Directv gave me a tease on Friday night of the NHL Network (or as its called in some circles...the network that has lower ratings than BET). I'm hoping they give plenty of coverage to your suddenly mighty Columbus Blue Jackets. You do realize if the season ended today the CBJ would be in the playoffs. Of course, the season just started 3 weeks ago and runs until April.

Another reason to hate the Dallas Cowboys. Tony Romo likes to hang out with Britney Spears:

The wife of Orgeon's head coach is one scary lady....and so is her

Fearless prediction...the Browns are going to the playoffs.

Thats all I've got...try the veal.

Friday, October 26, 2007

More Ozzy

I wanted to find a vid of fat Ozzy in the bumblebee suit but struck out. Musically, I thought the Ultimate Sin was Ozzy's best solo record. Visually, he had the hair of a Desperate Housewife. Ozzy is still your Rocktober feature artist.

Ozzy Osbourne

1982 was a bad year for Ozzy Osbourne. That was the year Randy Rhoads died. A sane man would have taken a break. Not Ozzy. He kept pluggin away with a new guitar player. Brad Gillis. Of Night Ranger. I hate Night Ranger soooooooooo much. Gillis wasn't awful when he was with Ozzy but Ozzy sure was. Ozzy Osbourne, your Rocktober feature artist.

Staph Infection Friday

So far so kiler Staph SARS, no bird flu or leprosy. Folks in my little cow town are freaking out over the outbreak of MRSA. Suddenly we're finding out more people die of staph infections in America than AIDS. Why weren't we informed of this earlier? Imagine what this news would mean to the condom industry...Trojan stock would go flacid. Condoms? Screw that I'm buying the full hazmat suit!

Ron Paul is a lunatic. But man is he fun to watch. I disagree with nearly everything he believes in except his antiwar stance. Yet, despite that I respect the man. He says what he believes and he believes what he says and how many politicians can ya say that about? Ron Paul is getting ready to unleash a million dollar ad blitz...Fear Ron Paul!:

Why is the wildfire in California considered to be arson and not an act of terrorism?:,0,6865198.story?coll=la-home-center

This month is National Pork Month...Next month is National Novel Month. Just thought you'd like to know:

Quite possibly the dumbest idea for a tv show since Supertrain:

Lost's Jin may wanna change his name go Gin after getting picked up for DUI:

AMC and SCI FI are cooking up some new geek friendly shows:

I'm fortunate that my kids enjoy watching old classic horror movies with matter how cheesy they might look now:

This JLA movie looks like shite:

I"m gonna have to go see this on the big screen:

Rolling Stone has a great gallery of rock star mug shots. I love the one where Ozzy is sporting a St. Louis Blues jersey:

Say goodbye to Madison Square Garden:

If you thought I took the Indians dropping the ALCS to Boston hard, thats nothing compared to this guy:

Pardon the Interruption but Michael Wilbon is on the run from the law:

Where and When will the Chargers play this weekend?

Its still early in the season but your Columbus Blue Jackets are looking like a professional hockey team. Who knew Pascal Leclaire was gonna turn into Patrick Roy?:

Finally, when will women and monkeys learn to get along?:,2933,304747,00.html

Thats all I've got...I'm off to get my Dumbledore tat removed.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Spinal Tap

I hadn't intended to put up 3 vids again today but I hadn't seen this one in awhile and a little Spinal Tap does a body good.

Alice Cooper

With each passing year I love Alice Cooper more and more. The man Alice was more influential than he's been given credit for. The band Alice Cooper incredibly underrated. I've seen Alice about a half dozen times and he's always entertaining. Someday Alice Cooper will be dead and I'll be able to say I've been listening to him for years. Alice Cooper...the band...your Rocktober feature artist.

Raging Slab

I wanted to like Raging Slab. I just could never get past their name. What exactly is a Raging Slab? I guess I never cared enough to find out. Raging Slab is your Rocktober Feature Artist.

Modell Still Sucks

Just found someone in one of my classes has the much publicized MRSA infection. If the blog isn't updated its not that I'm lazy, its that I'm dead.

Some people can hold their breath longer than others. Some people can hold water longer. What I can hold longer than most people is a grudge. For instance, I hate Art Modell. I see the man and wish pain and misery upon him. Petty? I don't think so. Granted its been 12 years since Modell ripped out my heart and took football away from Cleveland (for 3 long years) but I remember it like it was yesterday. Yesterday while surfing the net I came across this story,0,222139.story and it made by blood boil.

First I sent an email to the jackass who wrote it and asked if he was a member of the Modell family. Then I went about setting the record straight on the type of person Art Modell is. I was horrified at the historical revisionism taking place concerning Art Modell. The hack who wrote this piece also took a shot at Tony Grossi, the Browns beat reporter for the Cleveland Plain Dealer. A few years ago Modell was nominated for election to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Grossi, who gets to vote on who gets in, delivered a passionate presentation on why Modell didn't deserve to go in . I reminded the writer that Modell sold his soul and his place in the Hall when he moved the team and that Art has no one but himself to blame for that. I then had some fun making comments about the article on the Baltimore Sun's website which you can look for here (if you so desire):

Wife getting on you to go away for the romantic weekend? Take her to a haunted hotel:

I make fun of the tv news people but I gotta say, that Bob Woodruff is one tough mothertrucker:

Scrubs is still on? I thought that show went off the air during the Clinton administration:

What is the world coming to? Now we have chefs who plagiarize....:

Hopefully this news means Bionic Woman is gonna get more interesting and FAST:

The latest in viral marketing for the new Batman movie is here:

TFO's favorite band, Simply Red, is calling it a day..but not till 2009...thanks for the advance notice boys:

How many bands get an alley named after them?:

Jamie Lee Curtis...actress, wife, mother, wildfire expert:

Why do I have a feeling my kid could attend college here?:,1,5190369.story?coll=la-headlines-entnews

Mickey Spillane is a zombie:

Blackie Lawless should be happy people are still coming to see his washed up forgotten band. Why the need to take their cameras Blackie? You don't have a soul left to steal:

Michael Anthony says he's "fine" with his Van Halen free life...Of course, he gave this interview while standing on the ledge of a high rise:

Who wants to have Thanksgiving dinner with the prince of darkness?:

The guy who sang the theme to Star Trek Enterprise is in bad shape:;_ylt=ApkxfkNB0L0PuFhb3bOKTA2VEhkF

Why the fuss over the Eagles exclusive deal with Wal Mart?:

Can Versus save televised sports?:

I hear they started the World Series last night. I'm still in mourning over the Indians getting wiped out by the white man and anymore exposure to Dane Cook and Joe Buck will result in me committing a hate crime against Dane Cook and Joe Buck. If you missed the game, here's what you missed:

Meet the dumbass who wishes he'd never got that Dumbledore tattoo:,23739,22640695-5013016,00.html?from=mostpop

I got nothing to top that plus I'm dying of MRSA....see you in another life brother.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Gayest Video Ever

Just like Dumbledore, we all should have seen the signs that Rob Halford was gay. 100 percent gay. Flaming like California gay. This video was more gay than Boy George and that he/she from Dead or Alive put together. Your special bonus Rocktober feature artist is Judas Priest.

Vinnie Vincent Invasion-

I must confess, the first Vinnie Vincent Invasion record with the legendary Robert Fleischman (what you don't remember Bob Fleischman?)remains a guilty pleasure of mine Its horrible but yet quite fun. Vinnie, kook that he is, sacks Bob before their first tour and hires Mark Slaughter to replace him. Slaughter of course repays the act of kindness by taking over the band and forming the even more repulsive, Slaughter. Vinnie Vincent went to on to sue Kiss a couple times, help out on the Revenge record, and now manages a Fat Burger in El Segundo. Your Rocktober feature artist is the Vinnie Vincent Invasion.

Black Sabbath With Ian Gillan - Zero The Hero.mpg

OMOM is right...the Sabbath record with Ian Gillan, Born Again, is incredibly underrated. If Hendrix was the god of the guitar, Tony Iommi is the dark lord. Black Sabbath, heavy enough and sporting enough lineups to make them your Roctober Feature Artist not once but twice...and considering they've had enough singers in that band they probably will be again.

Wildfire Wednesday

Why am I not hanging on the edge of my seat in anticipation of the latest turn of events in the California wildfires? Why do I not care about this story? I understand the magnitude of the destruction. I feel great sympathy for the people who have lost their homes so I can only guess that my apathy toward the great California Wildfire can be attributed to Matt Lauer. If the Santa Ana's were to cause the on air demise of Matt Lauer I'd be all over that. I'd be glued to the freakin' tv if that no talent ass clown got burned to a crisp. I'm sure there are news anchors more annoying than Matt Lauer but I'll be fooked if I can think of one. Maybe I hate Matt Lauer because of stupid stories like this one from the Today Show...Prepare for disaster now people....the end is near!:

In case you've missed it, the U.S. isn't doing so good when it comes to taking terrorists to court:

Why is everyone running scared of Ron Paul? Why is it when I type "Ron Paul" I think of Ru Paul?:

If you're keeping track the cost of the war in Iraq is now over 2.4 trillion bucks.

Who wants to see Keri Russell in the new Star Trek flick?:

If you have Robert Goulet, the man Elvis hated above all others, in your Dead Pool, get ready to score your points:

Why would anyone stalk Garrison Keilor?:

If you were downloading tunes from OiNK, you aren't anymore:

If anyone cares or even remembers them, Jet has decided to taxi on the runway for a bit:

Further proof of why you can never trust a critic....EW likes the new Britney Spears record....a lot. Just as an aside, I'd like Britney Spears if she too perished in the California wildfires along with Matt Lauer.:,,20153719,00.html

Did we really need a ranking of the greatest movie soundtracks of all time? I'll bet you Heather Mills good leg that Saturday Night Fever is at or near the top:

More fallout over J.K. Rowling's announcement that Dumbledore enjoyed the company of other men. Is it a shock that Dumbledore is gay? How could you have missed these clues?:,0,5726083.story?coll=la-home-entertainment

Its rock n' roll fantasy camp....on tour....what next an ice show?:

The former home of CBGB's will now be an upscale clothing store. In other news the Taj Mahal will now be home to flea markets every Sunday:

Tony Iommi is up for another Sabbath tour. If it means money for her I'm sure Sharon Osbourne will make sure what passes for Ozzy these days is up on stage with them:

Somehow I never had this G.I. Joe in my stash as a kid:

The next manager of the NY Yankees has a blog...and its actually worse then the piece of shite you're currently reading:

In case you missed it, your Columbus Blue Jackets picked up a win on the road last night:

Maybe the CBJ oughta start following the quirky routine of the Detroit Red Wings:

Finally from the kids at the Brushback, comes the latest on the Paul Byrd doping drugs don't pay:

Thats all the crap I've got...if you're roasting up some Matt Lauer today make sure you cook it thoroughly...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Kiss - Domino

The last great single from a band that I really used to enjoy. After this record,Revenge, Kiss stopped being a band and started selling nostalgia and caskets. Crank it up, they are your Rocktober feature artist of the day

Hurricane - I'm On To You

I think the reason these guys never made it big was because they featured two members who had brothers in Quiet Riot. Kelly Hanson had a classic hair rock voice and is filling in nicely these days in Foreigner. Since its raining, Hurricane is your Rocktober Feature Artist.

1.2 BILLION Dollars

Today's post is a little smaller than usual...short on time....but enjoy it anyway

What would you do with a billion dollars? Buy a big house or three? Do some charity work? Set up your own business? Hire Van Halen and Led Zeppelin to play your kids high school graduation party? For 1.2 billion bucks you can pretty much anything you want. Want to snort a pile of blow off of a couple porn stars? Go ahead you can do that for under 50 grand. Want to buy season tickets in a loge for the Indians, Browns and Cavs? Go ahead you can do that with tons of cash left over. I bet if you had 1.2 billion dollars you might waste some of it but would you lose it? Would you walk around the house saying "Honey, have you seen my 1.2 billion dollars? It was right by my keys last night now I can't find it." Of course you wouldn't lose 1.2 billion. You'd know where it was at all times. Somehow, the United States government can't account for 1.2 billion dollars. The government knows where it went but not how it was spent or even if it was spent.
I think if I had 1.2 billion dollars I probably would drop some on hookers and drugs....and the naming rights to Jacobs Field.

I may be in the minority but I hate cell phones. I hate being that accessible to people. If this keeps up we might as well shove a GPS system up our ass and be done with it:

Here's a shock..Viva Laughlin cancelled already:

TV Guide previews Lost:

Johnny Marr wants to reunite the Smiths. Problem is that Morrissey doesn't:

Spinner ranks the craziest costumed musical acts..Alice Cooper better be on that list:

If you don't take a look at this picture of Larry King you'll hate yourself:

Thats all I've got today....I'm off to help the government find 1.2 billion dollars.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fastway, After Midnight

You can't make Motorhead Rocktober feature artist and not bestow the same honor to offshoot band Fastway. Sure the movie Trick or Treat sucks in retrospect but Fastway did rock. Enjoy Fast Eddie, Sammi Curr (played by the late Tony Fields) and play it loud. Fastway is todays Rocktober feature artist.


Lemmy. LIke Cher or Madonna, Bono or Udo, when you say Lemmy, everyone knows who you are talking about. Lemmy is metal. Lemmy is Motorhead. Lemmy and Motorhead are today's Rocktober feature artist

Bill Maher vs the Lunatic Fringe

One of the strangest things to happen over the weekend was Bill Maher's run in with some crackpots in the audience during the live broadcast of Real Time the other night. What sane person thinks that George W. Bush is capable of masterminding a plot to blow up the WTC in order to launch a war against the middle east? The man can't even eat a pretzel without choking.

Indians Free

*This post is completely Cleveland Indians free....for my take on the Tribe's choke job in the ALCS,please see my previous post*

I've become completely caught up in Pepsi's stupid EA Sports/NFL cap game. Under the cap of each 20 oz bottle of Pepsi products is a code. Enter the code and call a play ranging from 4th and goal (easy) to a hail mary (hard). The tougher the play the better the prize. Prizes range from an NFL hat to a new truck. What started out with the simple hope of winning a Browns cap has now become a full blown addiction. I have coworkers giving me their bottle caps. I'm snagging bottles out of trash cans in search of what I hope is the winning code. I've entered 80 stinking codes so and all I have to show for it is a lousy EA Sports t shirt. Pepsi the choice is simple, give me the Browns hat (and maybe a copy of the Xbox version of Madden 08) or I'll switch back to Coke...or maybe I'll quit drinking soda completely. Give me what I want Pepsi and no one gets hurt.

A psychiatrist tells Newsweek that his most challenging case involved a woman with 17 personalities. This shrink has gotta be gay. Every straight man knows that 17 is the minimum number of personalities a woman has:

The Great Lakes aren't so great anymore....water levels are at record lows:

If you thought your paycheck wasn't going as far as it used to, you're isn't:

UouTube meet Godtube:,0,660332.story?coll=la-home-entertainment

Is it really news when a children's book character is outted? Harry Potter's Dumbledore is ya couldn't tell by looking at him. Plus is there even a difference between a wizard and a fairy?:

Don't look for a new Superman movie until 2010. Do we need another one? Superman Returns sucked super ass:

Here's a list of the 100 scariest movie scenes of all time. I hope that naked wrestling scene in Borat is included:

What's going on with this investigation into David Copperfield? Is he a drug dealer? tax evader? lover of child porn?:

We now know who is doing the theme to the next James Bond movie:

Most people just get the trots from the Waffle House. Kid Rock got arrested:

I always forget Rob Halford wasn't the original lead singer of Judas Priest...still, ya know this is gonna be a night of awful, awful music:

I heard some of that new Robert Plant/Allison Krauss record over the weekend and I gotta say, it sounded damn good to me.

The Porter Wagoner death watch is on:

Kiss meets the Donald? Looks like Gene Simmons, who never met a promotional opportunity he didn't like, is joining the cast of the celebrity version of the Apprentice:'s_Apprentice.shtml

The CBJ get a crack at the Canucks without Jesus in goal.......and still lose:

Look at this picture and tell me football isn't a gay sport?:

Oh those Steinbrenners:

That's all I've got. I'm off to go beat up some Red Sox fans.

Indian Bummer

If you drive around Fenway Park today, pay no attention to the chalk outlines and the police tape. A crime took place there over the weekend. The hopes and dreams of all Cleveland Indians fans were killed just beneath the Green Monster. Sure they will still play a World Series but I won't be watching. No matter what is going on in the world, no matter how lousy your day, during the baseball season you can always look forward to the game. The game can get you out of doing lawn work or from having to talk to your wife. There is nothing like baseball and there are no words to describe what it feels like when its gone.

The Indians lost this game because Joel Skinner stopped Kenny Lofton at third when he could have scored the equalizer in the 7th inning. The game was lost because Lofton was safe at second earlier in the game and the ump missed the call and called him out. The Indians lost this game because information from MLB drug czar and member of the Red Sox Board of Directors George Mitchell's investigation into performance enhancing drugs was leaked to the San Francisco Chronicle which ran a front page story the day of game 7 linking HGH to Indians pitcher Paul Byrd. The Indians lost this game because Rafael Betancourt decided he hadn't sucked all season and it might be his last chance to do so. But what happened last night isn't why the Indians lost the series in 7 games.

No, the reason the Indians are cleaning out their lockers today instead of sleeping off a hangover and preparing to face the Colorado Rockies in the World Series, is that C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona were replaced by inferior pod replicas. I don't think Sabathia and Carmona were tired. I think they were scared. They pitched the whole series, and in Sabathia's case all of the postseason, as if they were frightened to throw the pitches that earned them both 19 wins during the course of the season. The Indians lost to the Red Sox because they wilted under the pressure and couldn't seal the deal after they took a 3-1 series lead.

I will not join in the chorus signing the popular refrain "wait till next year." There will be a next year (hopefully) but this isn't the talent heavy Indians team of the mid 90's. This is a good club that caught lightning in a bottle and game within 1 win of going to the World Series. It was a fun ride but the end sure is bitter.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Killing the New England Summer

"The Green Fields of the Mind "

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped, and summer was gone.
Somehow, the summer seemed to slip by faster this time. Maybe it wasn't this summer, but all the summers that, in this my fortieth summer, slipped by so fast. There comes a time when every summer will have something of autumn about it. Whatever the reason, it seemed to me that I was investing more and more in baseball, making the game do more of the work that keeps time fat and slow and lazy. I was counting on the game's deep patterns, three strikes, three outs, three times three innings, and its deepest impulse, to go out and back, to leave and to return home, to set the order of the day and to organize the daylight. I wrote a few things this last summer, this summer that did not last, nothing grand but some things, and yet that work was just camouflage. The real activity was done with the radio--not the all-seeing, all-falsifying television--and was the playing of the game in the only place it will last, the enclosed green field of the mind. There, in that warm, bright place, what the old poet called Mutability does not so quickly come.

But out here, on Sunday, October 2, where it rains all day, Dame Mutability never loses. She was in the crowd at Fenway yesterday, a gray day full of bluster and contradiction, when the Red Sox came up in the last of the ninth trailing Baltimore 8-5, while the Yankees, rain-delayed against Detroit, only needing to win one or have Boston lose one to win it all, sat in New York washing down cold cuts with beer and watching the Boston game. Boston had won two, the Yankees had lost two, and suddenly it seemed as if the whole season might go to the last day, or beyond, except here was Boston losing 8-5, while New York sat in its family room and put its feet up. Lynn, both ankles hurting now as they had in July, hits a single down the right-field line. The crowd stirs. It is on its feet. Hobson, third baseman, former Bear Bryant quarterback, strong, quiet, over 100 RBIs, goes for three breaking balls and is out. The goddess smiles and encourages her agent, a canny journeyman named Nelson Briles.

Now comes a pinch hitter, Bernie Carbo, onetime Rookie of the Year, erratic, quick, a shade too handsome, so laid-back he is always, in his soul, stretched out in the tall grass, one arm under his head, watching the clouds and laughing; now he looks over some low stuff unworthy of him and then, uncoiling, sends one out, straight on a rising line, over the center-field wall, no cheap Fenway shot, but all of it, the physics as elegant as the arc the ball describes.

New England is on its feet, roaring. The summer will not pass. Roaring, they recall the evening, late and cold, in 1975, the sixth game of the World Series, perhaps the greatest baseball game played in the last fifty years, when Carbo, loose and easy, had uncoiled to tie the game that Fisk would win. It is 8-7, one out, and school will never start, rain will never come, sun will warm the back of your neck forever. Now Bailey, picked up from the National League recently, big arms, heavy gut, experienced, new to the league and the club; he fouls off two and then, checking, tentative, a big man off balance, he pops a soft liner to the first baseman. It is suddenly darker and later, and the announcer doing the game coast to coast, a New Yorker who works for a New York television station, sounds relieved. His little world, well-lit, hot-combed, split-second-timed, had no capacity to absorb this much gritty, grainy, contrary reality.

Cox swings a bat, stretches his long arms, bends his back, the rookie from Pawtucket who broke in two weeks earlier with a record six straight hits, the kid drafted ahead of Fred Lynn, rangy, smooth, cool. The count runs two and two, Briles is cagey, nothing too good, and Cox swings, the ball beginning toward the mound and then, in a jaunty, wayward dance, skipping past Briles, feinting to the right, skimming the last of the grass, finding the dirt, moving now like some small, purposeful marine creature negotiating the green deep, easily avoiding the jagged rock of second base, traveling steady and straight now out into the dark, silent recesses of center field.

The aisles are jammed, the place is on its feet, the wrappers, the programs, the Coke cups and peanut shells, the doctrines of an afternoon; the anxieties, the things that have to be done tomorrow, the regrets about yesterday, the accumulation of a summer: all forgotten, while hope, the anchor, bites and takes hold where a moment before it seemed we would be swept out with the tide. Rice is up. Rice whom Aaron had said was the only one he'd seen with the ability to break his records. Rice the best clutch hitter on the club, with the best slugging percentage in the league. Rice, so quick and strong he once checked his swing halfway through and snapped the bat in two. Rice the Hammer of God sent to scourge the Yankees, the sound was overwhelming, fathers pounded their sons on the back, cars pulled off the road, households froze, New England exulted in its blessedness, and roared its thanks for all good things, for Rice and for a summer stretching halfway through October. Briles threw, Rice swung, and it was over. One pitch, a fly to center, and it stopped. Summer died in New England and like rain sliding off a roof, the crowd slipped out of Fenway, quickly, with only a steady murmur of concern for the drive ahead remaining of the roar. Mutability had turned the seasons and translated hope to memory once again. And, once again, she had used baseball, our best invention to stay change, to bring change on.

That is why it breaks my heart, that game--not because in New York they could win because Boston lost; in that, there is a rough justice, and a reminder to the Yankees of how slight and fragile are the circumstances that exalt one group of human beings over another. It breaks my heart because it was meant to, because it was meant to foster in me again the illusion that there was something abiding, some pattern and some impulse that could come together to make a reality that would resist the corrosion; and because, after it had fostered again that most hungered-for illusion, the game was meant to stop, and betray precisely what it promised.
Of course, there are those who learn after the first few times. They grow out of sports. And there are others who were born with the wisdom to know that nothing lasts. These are the truly tough among us, the ones who can live without illusion, or without even the hope of illusion. I am not that grown-up or up-to-date. I am a simpler creature, tied to more primitive patterns and cycles. I need to think something lasts forever, and it might as well be that state of being that is a game; it might as well be that, in a green field, in the sun.

From A Great and Glorious Game: Baseball Writings of A. Bartlett Giamatti, © 1998 by A. Bartlett Giamatti.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Michael Stanley Band - My Town

MSB....Cuz someone has to be the Rocktober Feature artist...Go Tribe!

Craig Kilborn-What Up

Since YouTube won't let me post any music vids for some reason today, here's another classic Craig Kilborn bit. Lets just make Craig Kilborn todays Rocktober feature artist.

Rocket From The Crypt Live on Craig Kilborn

Lets make Rocket From the Crypt a Rocktober feature artist just cuz they were once on Kilborn's Late Late Show.

5 Questions with Kilby

Here is Kilby with Lucy Lawless doing 5 Questions on the old Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn.

Craig Kilborn Nice Ass Daily Show Promo

Comedy Central can try to rewrite history and pretend Craig Kilborn never existed but they cannot wipe away my memories. This was one damn funny promo clip from the Kilby era.

Brain Wedgie

I'm not in too bad of a mood today considering the Indians lost last night. Sure it sucks to lose 7-1. It sucks knowing you had the chance to send the Red Sox and their annoying fanbase into the long cold winter and blew it. I take solace from this today...Eric Wedge's brain fart or if you will, brain wedgie, of sending a tired C.C. Sabathia out to start the 7th inning may turn out to be a good thing. When the Tribe went to the World Series in 1995 and 1997 it won on the road and in game 6 of the ALCS. So bring on game 6, bring on Fenway and the Green Monster. That neocon Curt Schilling deserves another ass kicking anyway.

Have you noticed the ads on this page? If you have the time and the inclination to do so, give 'em a click from time to time. We'll both be glad you did.

The ipod is being blamed for an increase in crime:

First it was death in Funky Winkerbean, then a Charles Schulz tell all portrays the man behind Peanuts as a real life the real world may be intruding in For Better or For Worse:,1,3706028.story?coll=chi_mezz

In related news, in Sundays Family Circus its revealed little Jeffy was molested by his priest.

I had never heard of the Electric Jellyfish but one of their band members is killed on the Ohio he wasn't electrocuted:

Things that can only happen in my white trash town...The news is full of stories on this new deadly drug resistant strain of staph infection. Two local middle school kids have been hit with the killer bug and where does the local rag put it on their website? As the third billed story under pet adoptions and a B- blood shortage. :

Every episode of the Jon Stewart run of the Daily Show can now be viewed online. I guess the Craig Kilborn era has been erased. Shame for me cuz I'm in the minority who enjoyed the show more when Kilby was at the wheel. I miss 5 Questions:

Speaking of Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert will be a guest on Meet the Press on Sunday. Thats right..with a war going on , oil about to hit 100 bucks a barrel, and with everything else of importance, the Sunday news shows are devoting air time to a comedian.

If you had Deborah Kerr or Joey Bishop in your Death Pool congrats on the score:

The Tampa Devil Rays are getting a colors, new name, new logo...and Kevin Costner's band is gonna play the DRays relaunch party...which is proof that the DRays can change hats, names and colors, but they are still gonna suck:

The new Ben Affleck movie looks pretty good:

David Chase talks about his pissed off Sopranos fans:,,20152845,00.html

Peter Gabriel wants you to know he hates Phil Collins just as much as you do:

Get your Dimebag action figure for Xmas:

Peter Criss's exwife is going on satellite radio next week to discuss her former spouse's limited drum skills and tiny penis. And to promote her book:

Those of you who never bought his records with King's X now have a Dug Pinnick solo record to not buy:

Leave it to the Yankees to try and rob the Indians and Red Sox of the spotlight. The Joe Torre era appears to be over after Torre rejected a one year offer. The NYC tabloids act as if this story is as big as the 9/11 attacks. Lets face facts, the only skill required to manage the talent laden Yankees is the ability to tune out their douchebag owner and the aborted fetuses who call themselves Yankees fans. With a 200 million dollar payroll, its not rocket science to fill out the lineup card:

Hey Notre Dame fans..what do you think about lard ass Charlie Weis now?:,cst-spt-greg18.article

Dan Patrick, whose departure made ESPN completely worthless, has joined up with SI:

They play some lousy football in the Big East these days but they sure do have some killer porn star names:

Thats all the crap I have. Should the Tribe choke this weekend, make sure to check the obits on Monday for the location of my funeral.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Dio - Don't Talk To Strangers Live

Because you can never have too much Dio in your life.

Tenacious D-Wonderboy

No one loves Ronnie James Dio more than Jack Black.This video was obviously influenced by Dio. Because they love Dio, Tenacious D is todays Rocktober feature artist.

Killswitch Engage - Holy Diver

If I were running things, we'd have a national holiday to celebrate Ronnie James Dio's birthday. It would be Dio Day. We'd all dress as elves and chase rainbows. Today's rocktober feature artist is Killswitch Engage paying homage to Dio with their cover of Holy Diver.

Tonight's the Night & Things I Think

I have no doubt... NONE...that the Indians will finish off the Boston Red Sox tonight. C.C. Sabathia is gonna pitch the game of his life and the Indians bats will do enough damage to Josh Beckett to win the game. Did you see Manny Ramirez comments yesterday that its no big deal for the Sox to be down 3 games to 1 and that if they don't pull it out its not the end of the world? Manny added that "there's always next year." Next year begins for Manny tonight.

Speaking of that special needs child named Manny, the kids at Homer Derby have put together a nice highlight reel of Manny grooming himself in the dugout. NICE:

What kind of god allows Thurman Munson to die but keeps Manny Ramirez on the planet?

Rare that I have this much sports at the top of the post but your Columbus Blue Jackets set a new team record last night...for least attended home game in franchise history. 11,800 turned out to see the Jackets lose 3-2 to Dallas on a warm October night. Even more noteworthy is nowhere in today's Columbus Dispatch is the attendance low mentioned. The Jackets didn't sell out their home opener for the first time and twice have had crowds under 12,000. In response to their outdated ad campaign "Its Jackets time my ass."

I think if you didn't already you need to do yourself a favor and watch this weeks episode of South Park. BRILLIANT.

The F.C.C. f's up again...they are once again loosening up the rules on media market ownership:

Bush and the Senate agree to cover each other's asses (and those of the eavesdropping telecoms):

With Rescue Me's future still up in the air, the very hot Andrea Roth, has joined the cast of Lost:

Get your Battlestar Galactica DVD's:

A fire breaks out at the Ed Sullivan Theater home of Late Show with David Letterman. Was Jay Leno in town?:

Sharpen your claws and grow out your mutton chops..Wolverine is coming to the big screen:

Hard to believe the Joshua Tree is now 20 years old. Boy if you could go back and change time wouldn't you think about taking out Bono or preventing his birth? :

Rolling Stone has posted a snippet of its interview with Bruce Springsteen. Because ya know he never gets any attention from the press:

Get shut out on Hannah Montana tix? Don't fret...her shows are being filmed for the big screen. I knew we should have castrated Billy Ray Cyrus at the height of his fame before he could procreate.

For the one person, Al Gore I'm looking at you, who wanted it Live Earth comes out on DVD next month.

Gene Simmons is coming to late night tv:

Ever wanted to know what the top Canadian albums of all time are? No? Me neither. But here they are and so help me there had better be at least 5 Helix records on there!:

ESPN has banned Jimmy Kimmel from Monday Night Football after he made fun of former announcer Joe Theismann on air this week. I have one more reason not to watch ESPN's crappy broadcast of an equally crappy game.

Speaking of ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber is with child. No word as to who the baby daddy is but me thinks its either Tom Brady or Michelle Tafoya. I'm hoping its Joe Namath's baby.

For Suzy's sake, I hope that Tim McCarver isn't the father:

What's on Gary Bettmans hit list?:

Finally, ya gotta watch out for those Sears gold card holders:

A Few things I think:

I think the NFL is so full of lousy teams that the Cleveland Browns are gonna go 9-7 and make the playoffs.

I think Bengals coach Marvin Lewis loses a power struggle and gets fired.

I think McDonalds new Angus burger may be the most disappointing item ever added to their menu. It ain't no McDLT let me tell ya.

I think there oughta be a constitutional amendment keeping soft serve ice cream shacks open year round.

I think now that Sirius has a Grateful Dead channel they need to get rid of that Jam station.

I think I'd really like to see that new movie about Ian Curtis the lead singer of Joy Division but I'm wondering how many other one hit bands who had a lead singer commit suicide have biopics waiting to happen.

I think, to borrow from Bill Hicks, we should hunt and kill Britney Spears. Then take a day off of work to celebrate her demise.

I think Kiss will never record an album of new material again...for that I'm glad.

I think Todd Rundgren deserves to be in the rock n' roll hall of fame.

I think Madonna never rocked a day in her life and her nomination to the hall proves that its a joke.

I think pumpkin donuts are a sign of god in the universe. Pumpkin roll is also divine.

I think if I see Ellen DeGeneres weep over that damn dog again I'm gonna commit a hate crime. Against Ellen. Its a dog Ellen not an African orphan. Get over it.

I think before I die I'd like to understand Oprah's appeal. Then exploit it in order to conquer the world.

Thats all I've got. I'm off to club a hobo with a sledgehammer.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Before he was a guy behind a million dollar mic stand, Blackie Lawless was a passable metal god. Blackie hasn't aged as well as Dio but his cover of the Who's The Real Me has. Its todays Rocktober feature artist W.A.S.P.

Black 'N' Blue

Sure Gene Simmons struck gold when he "discovered" Van Halen (of course he suggested they call themselves Daddy Longlegs). Gene also was behind this behind the not so legendary Black N' Blue. Of course, I had all their records. Some of them I even liked. I looked all over for their video to Nasty Nasty but couldn't find it. Turns out Black N' Blue was nothing more than a Triple A team for other bands. Lead singer Jamie St. James now plays the role of Jani Lane in Warrant and guitar player Tommy Thayer now appears as Ace Frehley in Kiss. Its todays Rocktober Feature Artist, Black N'Blue with I'll Be There For You.

One More to Go

Who is the pinhead that decided an off day would be a good idea during the ALCS? I'm looking at you Bud Selig! After a 7-3 victory last night the Indians first American League pennant since 1997 will have to wait until tomorrow thanks to todays scheduled off day. Terry Francona's decision to go with Tim Wakefield last night over Josh Beckett on 3 days rest may turn out to be a colossal mistake for the Red Sox. Then again, given that no Sox starter than Beckett has gone 5 innings in the ALCS it probably would make no difference. I really don't see C.C. Sabathia, the Indians game 5 starter, making a 3rd bad start in a row tomorrow. I stand by my original prediction of Tribe in 5. Paul Byrd was amazing last night. The Tribe bats waited for Tim Wakefield to have his patented meltdown and when he did they pounced on him. If you missed last nights game you can read all about it here:

What was the deal with Manny Ramirez last night? He hits a homer to cut it to 7-3 and gloats like he's just won the 7th game of the World Series. I'd advise Manny that when he faces the Indians pitching staff again in the regular season to duck. Someone is gonna remember what he did and put a ball in his ear. For the record, I'm not the only who thinks the Sox look like a beaten team:

Here's a perfect example of what's wrong with this country. Our elected leaders are wasting their time and our money pushing a resolution to condemn something that happened 100 years ago:

Oh and in case you missed it, the Turks are gonna invade Iraq. I f you thought things couldn't get much worse, you were wrong:

Dateline NBC oughta stick to child molesters. Why was Matt Lauer so nice to Idaho Senator Larry Craig? Is he hoping to hook up with him in an airport bathroom someday?:

Did we really need a Terminator TV series?:

I do think we need a Star Wars tv series however:,0,6734523.story?coll=la-home-center

2 more weeks to Halloween and AMC's Monsterfest doesn't look like its gonna suck this year:

I don't know if this chick is Wonder Woman but she's hot:

Speaking of geek movie casting, I gotta say by looks alone, I think JJ Abrams made a mistake on this one. I'm just not seeing Dr. McCoy in this dude:

Ellen Degeneres weeping over a dog? I'd expect that kinda behavior out of a male homosexual but out of a lesbian? Shatter my stereotypes!:

Why is Francis Ford Coppola smacking the hands that fed him?:

Alan Moore, who along with Frank Miller is probably the greatest comic book writer ever, has a new graphic novel coming out. Preview it here:,,20152452,00.html

Sample the new Neil Young record here:

Say it ain't so....Bret Michaels Rock of Love was fixed? A reality tv show that isn't real? How dare they!:

Could Led Zeppelin be producing new music?:

Here's further proof of why it sucks to be a Cubs fan:

You wanted got it...the NHL Network is set to invade American tv airwaves...All 3 of the NHL's American fans rejoice!:

Maybe the Bengals oughta try do you slow down your rival? Put toothpicks in their field:

Finally to close out today's post I leave you with actual dialog from Fox's Monday night broadcast of the Indians/Red Sox game

McCarver: When a catcher has to use his thumb to give signs, that means the pitcher has more than four pitches
Buck: Or five...more than five
McCarver: Has more than four...
Buck: Oh yeah, you're right.

Special thanks to Unsilent Majority for the transcription.