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Friday, November 16, 2007

RIP Ol' Left-hander...Burn Bonds Burn

Reds broadcaster Joe Nuxhall, the youngest person to ever play in the Major Leagues (he was 15) died last night after a lengthy illness. Love him or leave him, Nuxie was a a staple of the Reds franchise. Me, I always thought the ol' left hander sounded like he was in the bag when he was on the air. Despite that I preferred him to his windbag partner Marty Brennaman (who has never been able to adjust to the Reds on field decline and loses interest quickly into each disappointing season). Nuxie truly enjoyed what he did, he loved the Reds and based on this artile, the feeling was mutual:

While Joe Nuxhall was good for baseball, the same can't be said about Barry Bonds. The fat headed home run champ has been indicted for lying to a grand jury and obstruction of justice. Professional sports reigning jackass has caused everyone who loves baseball to be suspicious of the on field product:

So my solution, and quite honestly, its the only thing I can think of to save America's past time, is that Bonds must be executed for his crime. Drawn, quartered and then roasted like a chicken at Kenny Rogers house (the singer, not the Tigers pitcher). With all steroid users now facing execution (or at the very least some kind of primitive catapult device which will toss them a great distance into a pit of fire), baseball becomes cheater free.

You can now order Papa John's pizza via text message...because calling in the order is so 20th century:

Oh those Asians and their wacky toilet themed restaurants:

Seth Rogen? Kevin Smith? I'm so there:

Fresh from an appearance in South Park's Imaginationland trilogy, Tron is poised to return to theaters...A nation can only wonder why:

The late night talk show hosts might be making a comeback:

That Katie Couric is a real bitch..:

You're making a movie about Hugh Hefner who do you cast? How about that freak Tom Cruise? But he doesn't even like girls!:

This Led Zeppelin reunion is now officially out of hand...83,000 pounds for a ticket? Get a life people:

Why is Slash playing Sweet Child o' Mine newsworthy?:

Ya know whats wrong with English soccer (everything?)? Its those damn foreigners!:

First it was Lance Armstong and an Olsen its Troy Aikman and Hannah Montana?:

I understand there is a big game up in Ann Arbor tomorrow. The Columbus Dispatch has full coverage (of course):

The Michigan crowd is plotting a Maize out...whatever the hell that is:

Meanwhile some kool aid drinkin' Buckeye fans still think OSU has a shot at the national title. I mean its possible that every team ranked ahead of them go down in a fiery plane crash like Marshall but I doubt it:

Channel 4 informed me this morning that notorious Buckeye whore Mindy Drayer will be broadcasting live from Ann Arbor tomorrow. Hey Wolverine fans....would you do me a favor? For a prank I think it would be great if you held on to her...maybe forced her to sing the U of M fight song and post it on YouTube or something. If you could do that I'd appreciate it. Thanks. do you get a Michigan grad off of your porch? You pay him for the pizza he's delivering. Go (yawn) team!

1 comment:

O.M.O.M. said...

God bless the old lefthander. I've listened to many a Reds broadcast and shed a tear when I heard about this. The next generation of play by play men are jerks like Joe Buck.