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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thursday's With Evil Larry

Guest blogging today is Evil Larry....
Have you seen these nude Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe photos? Huzzah! I haven't felt so good since I snorted garlique, Viagra and crank off the backside of Betty Grable's thighs.
What do you make of this kid Barry Obama? He may be the most eloquent colored person since Cassius Clay.
I worry that John McCain is too young to be President.
For my money, nothing takes care of a cold like an evening with a half dozen Fillipino prostitutes. If you can find them under the age of 15 I say go for it.
I think my friend Francis Albert Sinatra would have loved Hillary Clinton. He would have given her the smack down she needs. Why in my day, women couldn't vote let alone run for office.
I think we sugar coat things for kids too much these days. My friend Michael Jackson was looking to adopt a couple young boys and they told him he couldn't adopt because he was a pedophile! I'm outraged! How will we prepare these kids for the challenges of adult hood? We need another Vietnam! That'll teach 'em.
I don't see the appeal of a show called Lost. At my age I find myself getting lost all the time and I don't find it entertaining.
You know those Puerto Ricans are a very sensuous people. YOWZA!
I'll never forget the night Ted Turner and I made the sweetest love.
New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since Guy Lombardo died.
So our boys shot down a spy satellite last night....In your face USSR! USA! USA! The first country to shoot down a satellite!
How come they don't make a cell phone with larger buttons?
Why did I think the movie "No Country for Old Men" was about me?
Why did John Wayne stop making movies?
For my money, you won't meet a more upstanding person working in journalism today than Pat O'Brien. Such character and values. He should run for President.
Knute Rockne once told me there is nothing like the steely buttocks of a left tackle.
What I want to hear from these presidential candidates is what they intend to do about immigration.....this country has an Irish problem and its about time we deal with it.
Ya know, as well as its sold, you'd think someone would write a sequel to the Bible.
I gotta go...Kathie Lee Gifford is coming over to give me a prostate massage...until next time...I'm Evil Larry...


O.M.O.M. said...

It's been too long Evil Larry.

On a side note, I'm done with winter. Tuesday morning I had a 9.2 on the Rob Fallometer, my first big spill of the season. Snowy shoes and a hardwood floor do not mix well; in the battle of my head Vs. end table the score is Sauder: 1, Rob's cabeza: 0.

E. S. Furniss said...

Evil Larry says..."You're a careless bastard my age we spend more time falling on our backsides than we do walking upright....Take some garlique, enjoy a bottle of spirits and hire a Mexican to shovel your walk from now on."

Furniss sez...I've been spills this winter. However, I have hurt the back doing the herky jerky slip and slide thing. My back wasn't right for about two weeks after. Only thing worse that happened this winter was hearing the acoustic Dokken Into the Fire on Sirius Hair Nation.

TFO said...

That image of Evil Larry is quite possible the scariest picture (OF ANYONE!)I have ever seen... Thank you, now I'm gonna have nightmares.

E. S. Furniss said...

Evil Larry says "Now listen here ya young punk....anyone can have a bad hair ever sat in a driving wind at Giants Stadium? Not to mention the place is crawling with drunk Irish. Oughta change the name to the New York Micks. I tell ya, we didn't have all those Irish at games when Y.A. Tittle was our qb......You don't like my hair? Well I don't like your face!"

Furniss sez..."Gee, sorry TFO....don't know what got into Evil Larry there...that picture is one of my favorites of all time. I havent' seen hair that bad since Yahoo Serious had his 15 minutes of fame.

TFO said...

Looks like a Gremlin on HGH...

E. S. Furniss said...

Evil Larry sez "A Gremlin? Never drove one of those. I did spend a night with Cary Grant and Betty Grable in the back of a Packard tho...that was a great night...we listened to some jazz, snorted some heroin and then clubbed an Irishman to death with a tire iron."

TFO said...

You are one twisted bastard, Evil Larry!

E. S. Furniss said...

Evil Larry says..."that's nothin'...remind me to tell you about the night I crapped all over Danny Kaye and forced Laurence Olivier to clean it up.....that Larry Olivier..he was a real he gave the best deep tissue withered manhood presses against my polyester slacks just thinking of it."