Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Neverland...Nevermore

Black Sabbath week is almost over and so is February....March comes in like a bloody, sacrficed lamb during the S'March of Metal.....Polling data indicates that women have stopped visiting the BlastFurniss during Sabbath week....guess it'll be a dudes only blog by the end of the S'March of Metal. Maybe to keep the ladies around I'll have a couple special posts on soap operas, home cleaning gizmos and feminine hygiene products. I want a visit to the BlastFurniss to leave the ladies feeling as fresh as they would after frolicking in a field of flowers on a beautiful summer day. That's right...The BlastFurniss is really just a big douche.

Speaking of which...not only is Bill Clinton coming to town tomorrow, Katie Couric will be doing the CBS Evening News from Columbus Monday and Tuesday in anticipation of the Ohio primary. I'd like to personally invite Katie on a tour of central Ohio. Maybe we can take in breakfast at one of our thousands of Bob Evans, followed by lunch or dinner at one of our many fine Applebees restaurants. After a bountiful feast of riblets we can lock hands and have a colonoscopy together. Stupid Andrea Cambern was carrying on last night like Katie was the ghost of Princess Diana. Welcome to Ohio Katie and Bubba.....now get the hell out.

Speaking of Bubba...former Clinton Mistress Gennifer Flowers was on Stern this AM. If you didn't hear it you didn't miss much....only her allegations that Mrs. Clinton prefers the touch of a woman and that she aborted Bubba's fetus...oh..and she doesn't swallow. No word yet if Ms. Flowers plans to be a contestant on Rock of Love 3.

More proof that the American Dream is over.....the dollar opened weaker than ever this morning...and the already massive home foreclosure crisis is about to claim another victim....Michael Jackson and his Neverland Ranch. Unless the self anointed and self deposed King of Pop (Other than King Friday the 13th, did any royal title ever sound more gay?) ponies up 25 million bucks in the next month, the Ranch will go to auction. Now this is a darn shame. For one, isn't a sexual predator like MJ required to register with his county sheriff's office? Plus, think of the poor children who visited that place...now instead of being molested in a palace, surrounded by animals that should be kept in a zoo, they'll probably end up groped in some penthouse suite in Vegas. That's just dirty....and sad. We need a solution to mortgage crisis and fast.....someone please do it for the children.

I think Michael Jackson would gain a lot of news coverage if he decided to start dressing like a priest.......

A public apology to OMOM...a few weeks ago I was cracking on him about the NWOBHM band Saxon....I heard Saxon's Wheels of Steel this morning and it melted my face off with its brilliance.

Spring Training ball games start today. Finally, no more talk about Barry Bonds giant head, Roger Clemens and the trainer who saved his used syringes for seven years in his freezer....no more Mitchell Report...no more HGH.....ah, who am I kidding? Congress is gonna keep yapping about this issue cuz they don't wanna deal with the war, the economy, health care, or the New England Patriots spying on other teams.

Enjoy the Sabbath...another vid or two to come today.....we'll wrap up Sabbath week tomorrow with Rob Halford and whatever else I find.

Florida? But that's America's wang!

2 comments:

O.M.O.M. said...

Saxon is a highly underrated NWOBHM act. They lost me with 1985's Innocence Is No Excuse but they regained their stride in the past 8-10 years and have released some above average discs.

Sorry to hear that Sabbath week has turned the BlastFurniss into a sausage fest. Maybe tomorrow's Halford Sabbath appearance will bring some of them back.

Work is killing me this week. The plant is going thru salt like Bobby Brown thru coke and I'm getting crapped on every ten on the tens. I hate my job...

E. S. Furniss said...

Yes, Rob Halford was quite the pinup back in the day...a gay pinup but a pinup all the same. I suspect once the S'March of Metal begins the ladies will be back. They are just dying to soak up Witchfinder General and Manowar.

I feel your work pains. Kudos tho for the line of the week "The plant is going thru salt like Bobby Brown thru coke" Now thats some funny stuff.

The next person who asks me "Hey, are ya going to see Bill Clinton?" is getting a boot to the head.