Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Bubba Time

In the biggest news to hit my little hamlet since White Castle opened, former President Bill "Bubba" Clinton is coming to town on Friday. I would laugh if Bill made a run for some sliders. Other than NAFTA, I never had too many issues with Bill....despite that, Mrs. Bubba ain't getting my vote on Tuesday. So Bubba welcome to the town that the pre-Bush worst president in U.S. History called home. Here are some suggested visiting spots while you're in town:

1) The tour of abandoned Marion industrial sites....swing by the old Power Shovel, Quaker Oats, Tecumseh, and Clark Metal....take a drive by the new factories paid for with public dollars and say hi to the guys making 8 bucks an hour with no benefits. I'm sure they'll have a lot to say to you.

2) Take a swing by route 95 and see our booming retail sector....I dare you to find a bigger area of chain stores and restaurants within a 15 mile radius....our local economic development guys are so proud of all the minimum wage jobs they've brought in to that area. Maybe pick up something nice for Mrs. C at Kohl's.

3) Have a bite to eat at the Shovel Lounge. But don't smoke....Ohio hates smokers....and gays.....and more than anything Ohio hates gay smokers.

4) Then head on over for drinks at any of downtown Marion's dump bars.

5) Head up Main St. and get yourself some ink. Maybe a heart with "Bubba and Hill Forever" in it. Mrs. C would like it and so would the American public.

My main concern is....you're the former president of the 58th greatest country in the world...you can go anywhere in the world you want.....and you come to Marion Ohio? No one in their right mind wants to be in Marion. You'll find that out when you visit. If my mind wasn't made up to vote for Obama, a Clinton coming to Marion would have sealed my vote for sure.

Elsewhere...

In news that will probably only interest me and TFO, today is the trading deadline in the NHL. Teams have until 3pm to make moves. Your Columbus Blue Jackets will either be sellers or buyers....much depends on if they can land the incredibly awesome (but horribly named) Brad Richards from Tampa. If you like hockey, visit the kids at www.tsn.ca

Black Sabbath week continues....Dio version up already today...more to come yet today. Widely known bit of Sabbath trivia.....Tony Iommi was once engaged to Lita Ford....lesser known bit of trivia...Ronnie James Dio's only child is a weather forecaster in upstate New York. I would laugh my ballz off if when doing the weather report he used Dio's famous devil horn/evil eye hand gesture when pointing to the weather map.

Did you see Maxim magazine reviewed the new Black Crowes record without actually listening to it? I'm shocked! If we can't trust Maxim magazine to uphold high journalistic standards who can we trust? Speaking of the Crowes...their first "single" from the new record Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution pulls my pants down and mocks me with its greatness.

You know you're leading a sad, pathetic life when 3 hours of Star Trek Enterprise on Monday night put you in a good mood.

Barrack Obama has been drawing comparisons to everyone from RFK to Abe Lincoln. John McCain yesterday came out and said "I knew Abe Lincoln and Barrack Obama is no Abe Lincoln." McCain pledged again to spend 100 years in Iraq or however long it took to turn the whole country into a giant Old Country Buffet.

I will donate 50 bucks to the campaign of the first candidate who bans the use of Bluetooth headsets.

Celebrity sex videos that would be even less interesting than the recently leaked Gene Simmons video:

1)Jay Leno
2)C.C. Deville
3) Kathy Bates
4) Whoopi Goldberg
5) Sally Jesse Raphael
6)Dick Cheney (tho it would be funny if he got caught on taping banging a bunch of Thai male prostitutes.......you know that dude is a closet pervert...shooting that dude in the face while hunting was probably some kinda of repressed homosexuality rising to the surface)
7)Art Garfunkel
8)Dennis Rodman (that girl is scary)
9)Any of the Spice Girls
10)Siegfried and Roy

Thats all I got today....More Sabbath to come....enjoy the snowstorm of the century....

2 comments:

TFO said...

Hey, I'm rather excited about the trade talk I read in the Dispatch this morning...I would be OK with keeping Foote just for leadership if the CBJ were able to land Richard and dump everyone else mentioned (Brule, Federov, Tollefson) I'm actually looking forward to seeing what happens - I just hope the CBJ doesn't end up shiiting a big turd over all this

Cool video post - one of my favorite Sabbath songs of all time. Are you taking requests? Die Young was another tune I liked from Heaven and Hell...

E. S. Furniss said...

I will do up Die Young before the end of the week. Nearly posted it today. I ran it during Rocktober so I'm kinda leaning toward posting it with Ray Gillen or Tony Martin...unless I can find a clip from the Heaven and Hell tour last year. That might be cool. Dio is my favorite midget.

I think if the CBJ can land Richards they need to make the move. The dude is signed for a couple more years, he's a premier center in his prime, and he, Nash and Zherdev would just be NASTY. I don't want to include Klesla in the deal. I would throw in Mason the young goal tender tho. He's better than that turd goalie Dallas is offering up.