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Monday, January 28, 2008

The Most Dangerous Man in the World?

My friends with the economy in the tank and young men and women dying in Iraq and Afghanistan (not to mention in the streets of our cities), today Dr. Phil (the Clay Aiken of psychology) tackles one of the most pressing issues of our time......baggy pants.
My friends, have we not suffered enough at the hands of this man? The thing that makes him so scary is that unlike Maury or Montel or Springer, people take this idiot and his advice seriously. They buy his books, they try his diets, they go to E Harmony and fill out profiles hoping to meet their perfect mate just cuz Dr. Phil says so. Dr. Phil did something I didn't think possible: He made me feel sympathy for Britney Spears when he went to the media with details of his brief and intrusive (and unsolicited) meeting with the bloated and bizarre pop star. Dr. Phil is no different than MRSA, AIDS, SARS, or West Nile...he is a public health menace and must be stopped at all costs.
Shouldn't a tv quack like Dr. Phil be held to the same standard as an over the counter medication? Shouldn't there be some kind of standards that need to be met in order to serve the public good? I think Dr. Phil's undergraduate degree from renowned academic instituion Midwestern State in Wichita Falls, TX or his PhD from The University of North Texas hardly makes him qualified to help his guests or viewers.
I think Dr. Phil should be put on trial for his crimes against humanity and then once found guilty, be fed to a pack of rabid wolves on national television.
Other thoughts on my disturbed mind today:
If your All Star game is televised on the Versus Network is it really an All Star game? Last night's NHL All Star game was probably watched by 10 people. Shame too. Was pretty entertaining by All Star game standards. My friends, we are watching true greatness with Columbus Blue Jackets star Rick Nash. Nash had a hat trick for the West in their 8-7 lost to the East.
Every time I hear that people are puking all over themselves when they watch Cloverfield I laugh. You can't buy publicity like that for a movie.
Bush gives his last State of the Union address tonight. I wish that it were his farewell address.
I think Hillary Clinton is a cyborg. I'm not sure she has a soul. Or an exit plan from Iraq either. I would vote for her over any Republican but I think I'd hate myself for it.
I think unless its Led Zeppelin or an act of Jesus to bring John Lennon and George Harrison back to life to reunite the Beatles, that there should be a federal law against rock bands reuniting. Who wants to see the Stone Temple Pilots get back together?
I can't believe Willie Nelson is turning 75.
I can't wait to see the season premiere of Lost Thursday night.
You know your life is pathetic when you're excited about watching 4 hours of Star Trek: Enterprise on the Sci Fi channel on Monday nights. Yes...I'm talking about me.
Yesterday was a Sunday without football. Boy I hate those. Takes me forever to adjust to not having a game to watch. Of course the Super Bowl is this Sunday. More on that later this week.
I'm off to watch Dr. Phil...happy Monday. WAIT...this just in...BREAKING NEWS...baggy pants have now claimed more lives than AIDS, war, famine and hand guns. Thanks Dr. Phil!

1 comment:

TFO said...

I was one of the myriad of people who didn't watch the all-star game last night. Interesting write-up in the Dispatch about how even someone like Nash won't get the credit he deserves because of the team he plays for - can see a point, but not sure I would totally agree given that Ovechkin plays for one of the worst teams in the NHL and people line up to kiss his arse. However, I think the teams he plays for might have kept LeClaire out of the All-Star game - 8 shut-outs, along with the numbers he's been posting, not to mention he had been leading fan balloting...a pretty big snub in my opinion and I'm not a very big LeClaire fan.