Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Craptacular Friday

Michael Bay's upcoming Transformers movie.....cool or not cool? It looks like it could be fun. Lots of cool special effects and crap exploding....but its a movie about toys! I have kids. I don't need to pay to watch them play with Transformers. Last night I was horrified by the potential success of this movie...what if movies about toys become all the rage? Would we be subjected to Tim Burton's Candyland? Martin Scorsese's Yahtzee? I can hear the tag line now "5 mob families, 5 dice...only one wins!" Oliver Stone's Monopoly....from the creators of Saw comes "Operation the Movie!" 10 college age kids, a bag of pot and one crazy bastard yanking out their body parts....John McTiernan could do GI Joe with Bruce Willis starring....Steven Spielberg's Slinky starring Robin Wiliams.....the mind boggles....OH JEBUS...Boggle the Movie!

Burger King has the rights to the Transformers kids meal toys so I suspect I'll be sent on a few trips thru their hellish drive thru. I really think Mel Gibson missed out when he didn't ok Passion of the Christ product tie ins. How much fun would it have been for kids to reenact the last supper with action figures of Jesus and the Apostles....Judas with betraying karate chop action!

The NBA draft was last night...if ya missed it, nothing much happened. The Arena Football League playoffs start this weekend. I have zero interest but someone must. Broadcasts of the AFL regularly outdraw NHL games on TV.

Good response yesterday on the rocknroll genocide idea. I submit today for your consideration of their elimination: ZZ Top, Kiss sans makeup and post reunion, anyone associated with Yes, Phil Collins and any band that reunites without its leader under a similar name...for instance, Creedence Clearwater Revisited, ELO II (Electric Boogaloo) and the New Cars.

I finally got around to watching Lil' Bush on Comedy Central. I wouldn't say it was good...but Lil' Cheney is quite funny and I enjoy that Darth Vader is his dad.

Here now the news...

Who knew eating something called Veggie Booty would be bad for you?:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19489593/

Bush to Congress..."Subpoena this beeyotch!":http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/29/washington/29bush.html?_r=1&ref=washington&oref=slogin

The Iphone hits stores today.....its Tickle Me Elmo for tech geeks...by this time tomorrow we'll be hearing about how someone was shot to death over one:http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-fri_iphonejun29,1,3320653.story?coll=chi-news-hed

TV Guide lists the 30 greatest cult shows of all time. You're a total idiot if you can't guess which geek show is number one:http://www.tvguide.com/news/top-cult-shows/070629-01

As if they didn't have enough reason to cross the border....Mexico City has enacted a smoking ban...what's that? We have one in Ohio too? DIOS MIO! No ES BUENO!:http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-mexsmoke29jun29,0,4368264.story?coll=la-home-center

A coroners report says comedian (and Blast Furniss fave) Richard Jeni was mentally ill when he shot himself in the head. Dr. Obvious also says black is the opposite of white, fatty foods are bad for you and you should never brush your teeth with a Chinese toothpaste:http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-06-28-richard-jeni_N.htm

Entertainment Weekly has 25 things that really bug them. Number One is that they've run out of things to complile lists over:http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20041669_20042482_20043806,00.html

Now go crank up some Motorhead and let Lemmy get you ready for the weekend....More crap as it happens.

18 comments:

TFO said...

I was wondering if the Rock n Roll genocide nominations were limited to just rock music or could artists from any particular genre be nominated? further more, could any particular GENRE be eliminated? If so, please consider John Tesh and Yanni (but not before a hyped-up celebrity death match) as well as just about any hip hop artist. If not, then I nominate Men Without Hats - I think I just might snap if I ever hear Safety Dance again!

I have an idea for a toy movie...a biographical flick along the lines of a "True Hollywood Story" about the life and times of Barbie before she hit the big time....Paris Hilton could star. Nothing rakes in ratings or cash like a good, old-fashioned cultural train wreck!!

E. S. Furniss said...

I don't really consider "New Age" to be music but more of a white noise that you'll be subjected to at a dentists office. Still, I find your ideas intriguing. I kept the focus on rock simply cuz I don't listen to country or much "Pop" music. Still, I have no problem ridding the world of Kenny Chesney, Brooks and Dunn, Alan Jackson and others of their ilk. At one point exactly was country music overtaken by metrosexuals? These guys today use more hair products than any hair band ever did. Brooks and Dunn...sponsored by Fructis Garnier.

Really the best fate for Paris Hilton is for her to marry a professional wrestler and see if she gets the Chris Benoit treatment. I realize thats cold but I hate Paris Hilton that much. While I find her shallow and evil, I find the media who have hyped her to be an even greater evil. The woman is famous just for being famous. Sure she made an entertaining amateur porn video but in this day and age who hasn't?

Had Bill Hicks lived I'm sure he'd be advocating Lets Hunt and Kill Paris Hilton.

TFO said...

Another Fevered Ego bites the dusts...I miss Bill.....

O.M.O.M. said...

I'm waiting for the "Uncle Wiggly" movie. Paul Stanley has a bum hip, he'd make a great Uncle Wiggly.

Yanni kinda looks like Krokus' Marc Storace with a moustace.

O.M.O.M. said...

er, moustache. I'm 40 minutes away from a week off and my brain has already started the shutdown process.

TFO said...

Not to beat a dead horse, but going back to rock n roll nominees - what about Men at Work? Down Under, Who Can It be Now?, and It's a Mistake....I think their whole career was a mistake...

E. S. Furniss said...

Kudos OMOM for linking Yanni to Marc Storace. Now I'm gonna be stuck with Long Stick Goes Boom going thru my head. Not only can Paul Stanley be Uncle Wiggly, Gene Simmons can be the Hippo in Hungry, Hungry Hippoes the movie.

TFO...remind me to never offer you a vegemite sandwich. Its obvious your hatred of Men at Work runs deep so I will add them to the list.

Let the likes of Fred Durst, the Goo Goo Dolls and the JD Fortune led INXS join them. Oh and toss in Motley Crue too. Vince Neil's tour of dive bars and Tommy Lee's reality shows have ruined their leagacy (tho I always hated them).

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