The other day over coffee at Starbucks I leaned over and told my best friend Gerard, "Ya know Gerard, What the world needs now is another blog." Gerard was speechless. He just gazed at me silently the way he always does when he's in total agreement with me. I must have asked him six times "What do ya think man? What do you think?" But he never said a word.That's when it hit me....Gerard is mute. So if this blog sucks ass, blame Gerard. He had the chance to speak up....and he chose not to.
Seriously, no one wants this blog. I could try to tell you that this is going to be the greatest blog since the Daily Koz, the Huffington Post or Dina Lohan's blog on how hard it is to breast feed your spoiled 21 year old alcoholic celebrity daughter. But I'm not going to do it. I'm going to assume something that the network news refuses to acknowledge....that you dear readers are smart human beings. You'll see right thru my BS the same way the clear majority of Americans saw thru the pre-Iraq war lies of the Bush administration.....ok, bad example.
Like me you don't give a shit about Larry Birkhead's blue ribbon winning sperm. You agree with me that the world is a safer place with Paris Hilton behind bars. Fewer of you are wondering along with me....Is Paris having girl on girl prison love? Is Sybil Danning her guard? Does the thought of why Paris is in prison when Dick Cheney shoots a man in the face and still freely walks the streets of an undisclosed location go thru your head at night? Could Dick shoot Paris in the face...hmmm...wait I've seen her video...that's already happened.
If these things interest you, this might just be the place for ya. I'll talk about the usual blog stuff: politics, celebrities, the news of the day. Now to make my blog stand out from all the others, I would actually pay you to read it every day....if I weren't so damn broke. Now run along....these pants are driving me crazy and I get crap on the TiVo to watch.