Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Dear Mrs. C.....

After clobbering her in North Carolina and coming within a whisker of stealing Indiana, its clear Barack Obama will be the Democrats nominee for President. Its obvious to everyone now....except for Hillary Clinton. The only reason for her to stay in the race at this point is to do John McCain's work and beat up on Obama. The only way she can win is to discover video of Obama molesting underage midgets dressed as priests....while smoking crack with Jeremiah Wright...Dear Mrs. Clinton...the race is over....you lost....get out and be a team player. Go home and make Bubba some pancakes....

Someone asked me the other day what were the most important issues to me in this election...I replied "all of them." If I were to rank them it would go something like this:

1) The War...this is really issue 1A....you can't fix the economy without wasting money on the war. I'm not against war...I'm not one of these liberal pansies....I believe you only use the military as a last resort. WWII...good....Iraq...bad. If your national security is at risk obliterate your enemy. The war in Iraq will end up costing us 3 trillion dollars....which since the nation is broke we'll have to borrow from the Saudis and the Chinese. I want us out of Iraq ASAP BUT I want us to increase our troops in Afghanistan...that was a war worth waging...unfortunately President NumbSkull decided to take the team off the field at halftime when we were winning 42-ZIP.

1B) The economy...we need jobs...good paying jobs...and lots of 'em. Its time for someone to do something FDR like....we need a government funded infrastructure improvement...roads, bridges, cities....this is why we cant' waive the gas tax for the summer...Billions of dollars earmarked for roads would be lost and consumers wouldn't see a dime. The government needs to spend only what it takes in...the deficit is out of control thanks to Bush. Its time to repeal his tax cuts to the rich and make the fat cats start paying their fair and mine and yours....I'm resigned to the fact that in my golden years I'll be stuck working part time as social security won't last for Old Man Furniss to enjoy.

2) Health Care....the time for Universal Health Care is now. The cost is a burden to the public and to business...its time to make it happen. Being able to see a doctor shouldn't be a rich versus poor issue...its a human issue. Health care should be the easiest issue to fix....thats why they can't fix it.

3) Education....just you watch....the student loan industry is gonna be the next one to tank...too many kids are coming out of college deep in debt and thanks to the market aren't able to find jobs. Its time to launch the BlastFurniss Domestic Army...spend two years in either the military or in a domestic corps working on roads, planting trees, assisting in schools, rebuilding New Orleans, etc. Most industrialized nations demand two years of military service from its young people.....under my plan you join my Domestic Corps or the military, you get an undergrad degree in return and come out of college free of debt. One of the problems with society today is no one has had to make any sacrifices....kids today are selfish and have a built in sense of entitlement...my plan would require the same from all kids whether their name is Gates, Buffet, Bush, Cheney, Clinton or Furniss.

4) Energy.....during the energy crisis of the 70's someone should have had the foresight to lead us away from the combustible engine and oil. After 9/11 President Shrub should have again made the case for moving away from oil...but being in the pocket of big oil he wasn't about to do that....even though it meant continuing to do business with the very people we were at war with. Considering how many of our tax dollars go to corporations, giving tax breaks to the big 3 to come up with a better car that runs on water or bullshit would have been a good use of corporate welfare. Plus, lets face it, oil is a finite resource....its time to wake up and save the planet.

5) Education....every kid is entitled to an education as good as the next kid. Our current education allows rich kids to get a better education than middle class kids, middle class kids get a better education than poor ones. Education should be equal across the board. Every kid should come out of school with the same knowledge regardless of socioeconomic standing. To help keep kids stay in school, here's my pitch....if your kid drops off, you don't get to claim him on your taxes. There is no reason for any kid to drop out of school in the year 2008 other than bad parenting.

Those are just my top 5 grievances...believe me I have more....I'd run for office but I've inhaled....a lot.

6 comments:

O.M.O.M. said...

I don't see Mrs. C giving up the fight yet either. Those Clintons are sore losers and I see things getting ugly quick.

I'm all for the BF Domestic Army. Sadly, I think most of today's parents would be against that. Today's kids are so spoiled and coddled by parents it's sickening. Remember the good old days when parents barely tolerated their children? I don't think I was allowed to speak at the dinner table until I was 10 or 11 and then it was just a sentence or two.

E. S. Furniss said...

If she had a chance of winning I'd encourage her to stay...but she doesn't and you're right...the Clintons are horrible losers and they seem to have a sense of entitlement to power. Obama is the lesser of the three evils still left in the race and he comes off as the least politican like of the lot.

I don't wanna come off as an old far or like Andy Rooney but today's young people are encouraged to believe that they are special and unique. They aren't taught that there are things in life that are greater than themselves. Spoiled, pampered and the worst sense of entitlement. I have no choice but to blame the parents...TFO could probably go on and on about that...
But he seems to have disappeared this week.

You got to speak at the table at 10 or 11? I'm 38 and when I have dinner with my folks Dad still says "Shut up Dummy" whenever I try to say something.

TFO said...

Hey, I was at a conference in the capital yesterday on the subject of bullying by our nation's youth. Man, I really hate kids - the last damn thing a teenager needs is a phn w/pic/vid capability. The next time something goes south with your kid, check out their media influences, and no, I'm not talkin' about your gansta rappers and such - I'm talking about Miley, Disney, and Brit's little sis. Along with the marketing geniuses, these little incubi are destroying our children. Special thanks go out to mom and dad for allowing this to happen. I agree with your take on the state of entitlement. Again, special thanks go out to mom and dad for allowing once useful and helpful programs to become generational. You don't need to excel or try hard because eventually, someone will just hand it to you. Did I mention that I really hate kids. I offer my full support for the BF Domestic Army.

E. S. Furniss said...

In the interest of full disclosure, I never served in any branch of the service other than the Kiss Army.

Here's a horrifying stat a friend of mine who works in public education revealed to me the other day...40 girls in a local public high school are pregnant. A co-worker shared a story about her daughter's classmate who just spit out a pup at the tender age of 13..yep...a 7th grader. Why is teen pregnancy still such an issue in 2008? I realize a lot of it comes back to socioeconomics...but I also blame the parents...didn't they give their kids a copy of my book "Your Mouth Can't Get Pregnant?"

Thanks...I'll be here all day.

TFO said...

7th grader, huh? well, at least in five years they'll be able to ride the same bus to school.

two words....Mandatory Abortion.

E. S. Furniss said...

I can't top those comments my friend. That share the same bus crack was gold.