Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Little Guy Always Finishes Last

Warning...Today's blog post contains subject matter that may offend CEO's, politicians, non-smokers and the grotesquely obese. By reading past this point you are waiving your right to file legal action against BlastFurniss and its subsidiary companies including but not limited to:American's are Fat, Lazy, and Stupid.Inc, kissmybutt.com, and the CHUBB Group.

As if consumers weren't being gouged enough at the gas station and grocery store, now comes word that credit card companies like Discover, have been finding new ways to stick it to us. If you go over your credit limit, Discover will charge you a $39 fee and bump up your interest rate to boot. The kicker in all this is the credit card companies allow you to go over your credit limit by as much as 10 percent! This is a prime example of why I avoid credit cards like the plague...well that and my credit is so wrecked that no one wants to give me one. Congress is paying lip service to the issue but something needs to be done to protect the American public from these vultures....Take a look at these numbers that I lifted from corporate giant MSNBC...."A consumer with a $10,000 balance and a 15 percent interest rate who pays the minimum payment each month would pay $2,800 in a year and still owe $8,598 on that balance. But a consumer paying 31 percent interest would have to cough up $4,047 to meet minimum balance payments during that same 12 months, and yet would fall farther behind, with a remaining balance of $8,891.54." With an economy already dealing with a mortgage crisis, recent news that the delinquent auto loans are at a 16 year high, credit card delinquencies seem like the next domino to fall. After that...my money is on student loans.

Ok..you're probably asking why all the economy talk today? Well for starters, I really had nothing else to talk about today and most importantly I feel it my civic duty to remind you, my friends and loyal readers of one very important fact....We Are All Doomed! We have had the misfortune to come in at the end of the American dream. Where is the outrage? Where is the accountability? We should be marching down Wall Street and dragging CEO's thru the streets. Until the American people rise up our leaders will continue to bury their heads in the sand and do exactly what they are doing now...nothing. As long as the American government remains in the pocket of corporate America, the consumer will continue to be emasculated.

Of course, I know better than to expect my fellow Americans to rise up in revolution....we'll do what we always do...we'll take our anti-depressants, go to Starbucks, and watch Dancing With The Stars....Worrying about Social Security, the National Debt, the never ending War in Iraq, the health care crisis, gun violence....its too upsetting and takes too much energy. Instead, lets pay attention to all those poor children who were trapped with those wacky Mormons!

Want further proof of how f'd up our country is? 2 Neighbors in New York City just settled a lawsuit in which neighbor sued the other for smoking....behind their own door. When we are able to file lawsuits complaining about what someone else does behind their own closed doors we are most assuredly DOOMED. Is someone gonna sue me cuz I'm eating fatty foods ? "Your honor, I'm obese and I try diet after diet...I've done Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and Deal a Meal but I can't lose anything...still I try...yet Mr. Furniss is helping to make me fat cuz I see Pizza Hut at his house once a week and the pizza just looks so good I can't maintain my diet so its all Mr. Furniss's fault that I'm a lazy, greasy fat tub of goo! I'm powerless to control myself and Furniss the pizza addict is to blame!"

Now I've gone and got my blood pressure all up....guess I'd better go watch Kathy Lee Gifford host the 4th hour of Today....that oughta give me the inevitable stroke and finish me off for good.

2 comments:

O.M.O.M. said...

Amen brother. It's time to dock The Love Boat and fire up The Hate Tank.

kellie said...

I like watching the History Channel while chain smoking at night with the lights on / curtains open. JEEEEEbus Cady. I just saw a commercial for Miley Bucyrus Dannon yogurt.There's that bucket of shit I'd always rather eat than watch BB9