Back in business thanks to a government bailout.

Friday, March 14, 2008

KBone Aid

I got a call last night from one of my best pals KBone....KBone is a regular reader of the blog and posts on occassion (like when I'm making fun of the Pittsburgh Steelers gay mascot Steely McBeam). KBone saw the posts yesterday on Eliot Spitzer's hooker and took a liking to her. So much of a liking that he asked if I could float him $5500 or at least $70 cuz he'd probably only last 3 minutes......this got me to thinking....maybe I could hold some kinda fundraiser for KBone....let's face it....most fundraisers are downers. They are always for sick kids, flooded cities, or crippled people. What's wrong with raising money so a dude can get laid by a high class prostitute?

Its no secret that I'm a class warrior..I hate the rich and corporate America. I'm an aspiring working class hero. I'm sick of paying more for gas cuz some wealthy bastard drives a Hummer that gets 8 miles to the gallon. I'm tired of having to put off Dr's visits cuz the co-pay costs and prescription drugs don't fit the budget. But the final insult was Eliot Spitzer spending 80 grand on hookers while working folk like me have to settle for common crack whores. Buy God working class folk deserve to eat fillet mignon too. Lets help KBone get from the outhouse to the penthouse.....KBone Aid.....because of you he gets laid for all of us.....please feel free to post your comments on the best way to raise money to make this dream come true. Maybe we can get some kinda corporate sponsorship or hold an auction.

I'm in serious pain today. Freakin' wisdom teeth are shooting 10,000 watts of pain thru my jaw. I put off getting the things yanked and I'm paying for it. Made the appointment today but its gonna be a few weeks before the oral surgeon can get me in. One day I'll learn not to procrastinate. How was I to know my dentist knew more about my teeth than I did? God bless my regular dentist tho...they called me in some pain drugs and antibiotics so I should last for awhile. Nothing says love like vicodin.

I got to thinkin'....$5550 bucks an hour sounds like a lot to pay for sex but anyone who has ever been divorced will tell ya they paid a much higher price for sex.

I have absolutely NO March Madness thus far. Maybe if Ohio State knocks off Michigan State today and can sneak into the tournament I'll feel differently. I always watch the Ohio and Big 10 schools in the tourney but I'm not feeling it this year. I don't even know if I'll fill out a bracket.

Going to the Funny Bone tomorrow night. I don't know why I don't go there more often. I enjoy standup comedy gigs and comedy clubs in general. Saw Dave Attell at the Funny Bone a couple years back and he has to rank as the funniest man I've ever seen live. If you have HBO keep an eye out for the Captain Miserable special of his that ran last year. You can get most of it on YouTube now.

More Viking Metal on the way...dig deep in your pockets and into your heart to help KBone...make his wish come true...

3 comments:

TFO said...

How about a bake sale...or a topless car wash w/hot chicks...

E. S. Furniss said...

How bout a topless bake sale? With erotic baked goods? Maybe send kids door to door with cans to raise money like for Jerry's kids...

O.M.O.M. said...

I'll contribute cash to any topless-led charities. Just got home from a day of corporate meetings. We're a tier 1 supplier and our plant wants us to squeeze 39 million dollars of savings out of a 1.5 million dollar budget.

You gotta love union run auto corporations... I need a beer stat.