Graduation Day

There were times that working full time, taking care of a family and going to college were hellish and yesterday's weather sure made it feel like hell. But let me tell ya, getting that diploma yesterday made it all worthwhile. Today I blog before you as one of the proud 444,000 graduates in the history of THE Ohio State University.

First, I'd like to thank Ohio State for a brilliantly put together commencement. The thing came together with Swiss precision. Can't be easy organizing nearly 7,900 diplomas. To whoever came up with the tradition of graduates wearing black gowns, might I suggest that Spring grads start wearing gray ones instead. Dear lord...nothing like wearing a black gown in 93 degree heat. I lost a few pounds while I sat there roasting.

Our commencement speaker was NBC news anchor Brian Williams who was fantastic. He made several jokes about Michigan (which pleased the crowd) and asked the class of 2008 to save the country. Williams was very candid about the state of the nation. Williams expressed hope that this graduating class might be the one that finds an alternative energy source so America can stop buying oil from people its at war with. Let me tell ya, I enjoyed that remark more than any Michigan joke. Just wish Williams would make those kinda comments during his newscasts. Despite that, I've been a Williams fan since his reporting on Hurricane Katrina.

Being a lot older than the other students, I kinda felt outta place. OSU prez Gordon Gee's remarks were geared toward young people, and I certainly understand why. I'm sure I was the only one graduating who had a 20 year college odyssey.

I had no plans to actually participate in commencement until my last quarter when I decided I might as well do it. Brutal heat and all it was a nice experience. God knows it took me long enough to do it. As KBone told me yesterday, I've going to school long enough that I should be a doctor by now. For the record, I was not in school for 20 years....Went two years, took ten off....went 5 years part time....took two off....finished in the last year. So really, it was only 8 years....spread out over 20 years.

Interesting stat....in the 2000 census, only 4 percent of residents in the county I reside have college degrees. Only 1 percent have masters degrees (I start my masters program in September). I figure with those kinda numbers I can be ruling this dump in no time. Like I told my lovely and supportive wife yesterday, my degree doesn't make me better or smarter than those who don't have a degree, it just means when she has to write my obituary she can include that I was a graduate of Ohio State. It took a lot of time and a lot of money but its an accomplishment that no one can take away from me.

So what do I take away from OSU other than my degree? Well obviously a diploma....a three point something GPA and a mountain of student loan debt. I've learned that while it would have been nice when I was 18 years old to have the focus and drive I have at 38, I wouldn't change a thing....life takes you along many paths. There are many I wish I hadn't gone down but I like where I'm at now. I never saw myself as a 38 year old college graduate getting ready to start an MBA program but it beats being toothless and sitting in my own waste. Imagine having that in your obituary...

Tomorrow its back to trying to be witty and somewhat humorous....by the end of the week I'll announce what I'll be up to once I close down this blog....I'm off to go on a snow cone run.

Jewne: BEASTIE BOYS - SABOTAGE

Probably my fave hip hop group of all time....love this video....this group did more to boost Kerry King's profile than playing in Slayer ever did.

God I'm Tired

A brief rambling post today...I'm too fookin' tired to put anything together....I got to bed about 2am figuring I'd be able to snag 6 hours of sleep...neglecting that the Mrs. still had to get up at 6am to go to work. The alarm went off, the sun came blazing thru the window....and I was awake. Well, my eyes are open and I'm not in bed anymore but I certainly feel groggy and out of it. The only thing I think thats gonna get me moving is a threeway with me, Mrs. Folger and a can of Red Bull.

One of the all time sappiest wuss bands of all time has finally called it a day...Steve Lukather has gone Dr. Kevorkian and performed assisted suicided on his band Toto. Sadly, this happened 30 years to late.

Believe it or not, Van Halen made it thru its "reunion" tour with David Lee Roth. I had my doubts but the boys kept it together.....well, everyone but Ed...There are some rumblings that they'll get back in the studio to make new music but I think its as likely to happen as Chinese Democracy seeing the light of day.

Evander Holyfield's mansion is being foreclosed on....is no one safe from the mortgage crisis? I'm continually amazed at how rich people lose their money. Look at Ed McMahon...that S.O.B. should have all sorts of bank and soon he'll be homeless....crap, if he were to win the Publisher's Clearing house sweepstakes that he used to shill on the tellyvision, they'd have to find him in a cardboard box under the bridge.

I'm off to graduation rehearsal...........drink a Bud in my honor

Death Angel-Dethroned

Gotta give props to Death Angel..killer show last night at the Alrosa. Each song was just furious and the band was tight as hell. The O.M.O.M. and I had a chance to meet up with the guys before the show and they were just as nice as can be. They are bringing the thrash night after night after night...one of the hardest working bands in show bidness right now.

Jewne-Lenny Kravitz

I wanted to love Lenny Kravitz, sadly, I only tolerate him. It wasn't the lack of original ideas that turned me off, it was the fact he's so damn dull. Still, he has 3 things going for him that I don't...He's a Jew, His Mom was on the Jeffersons, and he nailed Lisa Bonet. Good on ya Lenny!

Why I Hate My Summer Vacation

As Denis Leary sang in the Asshole song, "I walk around in the summertime saying how about this heat?" So, how 'bout it? Freakin' brutal. Like good paying jobs, Spring doesn't exist in Ohio anymore. May is cooler and wetter than April. Just last week I froze my ass off at the boys ball game and today I'm running around the house wearing nothing but a thong and a smile. Its days like this, and the ones upcoming, that make me hate summertime.

Of course, those who know me well understand that I have a lot of hate in my heart. Here are some other reasons I hate Summer:

The neighbor kids....always comin' down wanting to swim or trying to raid the fridge. Some of the kids are darn nice but there is one particular shit head down the block who should be the poster child for birth control. In fact, his whole family is an ethnic cleansing waiting to happen. Each night I pray that they become one of the millions of families who lose their home to foreclosure. Sure that's mean, but I'm a petty bastard.

Bugs....50 times a day you'll hear me shout this expression to the kids "shut the damn door you're letting bugs in." I wish I could mix it up a little bit..."hey, we ain't runnin' a bug motel!" or something like that would be a nice change of pace. The kids are as sick of "shut the damn door you're letting bugs in" just as much as I am.

Allergies...Used to be they only hit me at harvest season...then it became Spring..now its a 6 month reality series called "Dancing With My Snot." Plus I go around making up parody songs like "Runny Eyes" to Eric Carmans Hungry Eyes from Dirty Dancing. Don't even get me started on Eric Carman...went from pop genius to shite in three point five seconds....

TV...257 channels and nothin' on. Reality bullshit....hockey's now over, the NBA begins its swan song tonight....that leaves me with nothing but the underachieving Indians until the Browns begin preseason games in August. Wouldn't have been as bad if I at least had Rescue Me to watch this season, but NO, freakin' writers strike pushed that back to next year.

The Summer Olympics...thrill to the drama that is product placement before a worldwide audience. I'm boycotting Chinese food until after the conclusion of the summer games. I'm still bitter about the U.S. basketball team getting screwed out of the gold medal in 1972. Sure I was only two then but I learned how to hate at an early age.

Summer concerts....everyone in the world is on tour in the summertime.....so little money, so few shows. My days of selling blood plasma for concert money are long past.

Summer movies....everything is a god damn event movie. I wasn't gonna go but now I'm interested in seeing the Hulk...it'll either be great or a train wreck. If you don't think the new Batman movie looks killer you're an idiot.

This one is special for this summer...presidential elections and party conventions. Yawn.

Amusement parks.....call me a puss but I have a fear of heights which rules out rollercoasters. Plus, have you seen the price of admission to Cedar Point and Kings Island? Plus, thanks to my recently earned college degree, I can tell you that the amusement park was created as a form of leisure for working class immigrants on Coney Island. Like the movie, it rose to popularity as people who worked too hard for too little found a way to brighten their mundane lives. Of course, back then you probably got a family admitted for a nickel....I'm not sure but I believe a single day outting at Cedar Point for a family of four including admission, gas, and food now runs somewhere around five thousand dollars.

I'm sure I could name more reasons as to why I hate summer but I'll spare you.....I'm off to drop a bag of frozen peas into the front of my thong. Cool your balls and the rest will follow.

Jewne:Kiss:Firehouse(live'76)

Alright, Kiss is an obvious choice for Jewne but you cannot deny the brilliance of this song. Words cannot express how much their current activities depress me but at the same time, its almost impossible to articulate how much they meant to me as a kid. Their early work remains timeless...Damn shame radio never plays these cuts...I refuse to recoginize any hall of fame that doesn't include these guys.