Who Wants to Hump a Newsbabe?

With the tv writers on strike, an idea hit me for a new game show....Who Wants to Hump a TV Newsbabe? A new reality show where contestants compete to hump a newsbabe. Have you noticed the quality of newsbabes at both the local and national level? The quality of our local newsbabes is at an all time high. All the newsbabes on channel 4 are completely humpable. Tell me you wouldn't love to compete for the opportunity go give some breaking news to Maureen Kocot....

Here are my thoughts on yesterdays election....Who the hell is gonna replace these poll workers? No one under the age of 90 works the polls which leads me to worry that our nations poll workers are going extinct. If we don't conserve our poll workers we'll lose our democracy.

Speaking of news chicks, don't ya hope that the Today Show's Ann Curry gets stuck in the South Pole?

Here's how wonderful the internet is....I go see Bruce Springsteen on Sunday...on Tuesday night I have a bootleg copy of the show downloaded on to my computer. Every day I thank Jebus for letting me live in an industrialized nation with broadband access.

No surprise here..most of the people who downloaded the new Radiohead cd paid the same thing I did for the Springsteen boot...NOTHING:http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/news/2007-11-06-radiohead_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

The South Park Imaginationland Trilogy is coming out on DVD: http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/South-Park-Imaginationland-Trilogy/8388

Check out the trailer for the latest Morgan Spurlock flick What Would Jesus Buy?:http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/whatwouldjesusbuy/

Why do people waste time and money remaking perfect movies? First it was Psycho, then Planet of the Apes..up next the Day the Earth Stood Still and now comes news of a High Noon remake:http://www.darkhorizons.com/news07/071106d.php

CBS is gearing up to have Big Brother ready to go in winter if the writers strike isn't resolved:http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2007/11/summer-reality-.html

What brought Led Zeppelin together? Love of music? Nope. A desire to conquer the world? Nope. The answer can be found here:http://www.mirror.co.uk/showbiz/2007/11/07/led-zeppelin-exclusive-89520-20072574/

Somebody please explain to me why every time I go to a music website there is something on there about Amy Winehouse? Enough already. She's not that damn good. In fact she sucks.

Billboard changes its rules so the Eagles can have a number one record:http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003668840

Why is Prince a royal asshole?:http://www.gigwise.com/news/38369/prince-launches-legal-clampdown-against-his-own-fans

This ain't good...After losing in the NCAA title game in March, the basketball Buckeyes lose an exhibition game to Division II Findlay:http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaab/news;_ylt=Agu5bAvYgtKdeveTvDQh6Bo5nYcB?slug=ap-findlay-ohiost&prov=ap&type=lgns

Meet the NHL's all DUI team:http://wayoffside.wordpress.com/2007/11/05/presentingthe-nhls-first-all-star-dui-team/

You'd look like this if you were married to Kathie Lee too:http://www.deuceofdavenport.com/2007/11/frank-gifford-has-seen-better-days.html

What are the Vegas odds that Eric Lindros will get a concussion while announcing his retirement?:http://goingfivehole.blogspot.com/2007/11/hall-worthy.html

Thats all I have for today...I'm off to get me some duct tape and go out hunting for newsbabes

Alice Cooper Elected

Go out and vote ya bastards.

School Levy Denial Day

Its Election Day kids...or as I call it, lets screw the kids day (settle down NAMBLA members..I don't mean it like that). I never vote for school levies. Don't believe in it. Once the state decides to overhaul its current funding system I'll consider it but as things stand now a "yes" vote for any levy just enables our crappy state legislature to stand by and do nothing.

How 'bout that Oprah Winfrey scandal. Shame what happened to the kids at her school in South Africa. I mean that sincerely. But that blowhard douchebag Oprah has been so full for so many years, her arrogance was bound to lead to something like this. Ya didn't see Phil Donahue starting up a school. Jerry Springer only set up a school for aspiring strippers. If you're clueless about the Oprah scandal, read it here:http://news.independent.co.uk/world/africa/article3132471.ece

Still recovering from the Springsteen show the other night. The boy and I were right up by the stage directly in front of Steve and Patti. Seen the Boss more times than I can count and this was possibly the best show ever. Setlist was great and the band never sounded better. Head over to http://www.brucespringsteen.net/ for a video clip of Girls in their Summer Clothes from the Cleveland show. Can't wait to see the E Street Band again in the Spring on the 2nd leg of the tour.

How are you holding up during the Hollywood writers strike? As a union guy, this story warms my heart. Its a definite plus for the writers when Hollywood stars refuse to cross picket lines:http://www.aintitcool.com/node/34700

Lost producer and killer comic writer Brian K. Vaughn explains why the writers are on strike:http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=37507226&blogID=325633175

Here's the very funny Judd Apatow's take on the strike:http://tv.ign.com/articles/832/832841p1.html?loc=interstitialskip

Variety has even put up a writers strike blog...which is pretty entertaining...more entertaining than tv will be in a few weeks anyway:http://weblogs.variety.com/wga_strike_blog/

Take a look at the new Iron Man trailer:http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/11/iron_man_international_trailer.php

How well do you know rock music? Take this quiz and find out:http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/17177243/the_almost_8212_impossible_rock__roll_quiz#

Send the women in your life to a girls only rock n' roll fantasy camp:http://www.girlsrockcamp.org/main/

This is funny...Barbara Walters hates Paul McCartney's one legged women:http://www.splashnewsonline.com/2007/11/06/is-anyone-on-heathers-side/

This sports story is probably NOT SAFE FOR WORK...lets just say it involves 19 year old cheerleaders...:http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=4280

The Famous Moolah, who wrestled in an era before steroids and killing your children became all the rage among wrestlers, has died:http://dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2007/11/06/moolah.html

Further proof that athletes are idiots....meet Mike Cameron and the NHL players most likely to imitate him:http://melroserocks.blogspot.com/2007/11/hockey-players-most-likely-to-pull-mike.html

Thats all I've got....I'm going out to unionize bloggers

Bruce Springsteen-Reason to Believe-Los Angeles-Oct 29, 2007

Bruce. Cleveland. Last night. I was there. Amazing. Best. Show. Ever. Too tired to post anything.

Chief Wahoo Interview (Cleveland Indians)

I'm sure some wise guy Red Sox fan is behind this but hey,its funny!

Funtime Friday

52 days till Xmas...kill me now lord.

It's going to be a fun weekend my friends. Tonight its off to the QFM 96 Halloween bash. Mr. Nice Guy, an Alice Cooper Tribute band is the headliner but the main attraction (for me) is the mighty American Dog. I'm crossing my fingers that faux Alice kills Wags and Elliot the lame QFM 96 morning team. O.M.O.M. informs me his latest vid may be played at the gig in the former Promowest. Should be a good time. Sunday night its off to Cleveland and the earth quakin', air conditioner shakin', history makin' Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. If I can score cheap Browns tickets and beat a hobo with a hammer, it may turn out to be the best weekend of my life....or at least the best weekend this month.

I warned ya yesterday that we are a nation on the brink of losing our scripted tv shows and now its (almost) official....the writers of all that is pure and holy in universe are (almost) on strike:http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21570821/

What exactly does it mean to "party like a rock star"?

If you have time this weekend read this:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/magazine/28Evangelicals-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

After you've read it make sure you ask an evangelical the question "why did you vote for a war monger over someone who would help sick kids?":http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/susan_brooks_thistlethwaite/2007/11/only_a_sick_society_plays_poli.html

Paul Thomas Anderson is perhaps the finest director/writer of our generation. His new film is getting rave reviews:http://weblogs.variety.com/thompsononhollywood/2007/11/there-will-be-b.html

Meet the new Knight Rider:http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3ia9c51f5ef29150aaddf737e574e01730

Have you seen the latest pics of Heath Ledger as the Joker:http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=6470

The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror airs this Sunday:http://www.tvguide.com/news/simpsons-treehouse-horror/071102-03

Rescue Me got renewed for 22 more episodes.

This explains the decision to host the Price is Right:http://reason.tv/video/show/57.html

You waited 20 years, whats another couple weeks? Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page has fractured his finger, meaning that the Ahmet Ertegun Tribute Concert originally scheduled for Nov. 26, and featuring Led Zeppelin, Bill Wyman and the Rhythm Kings, Paul Rogers, Paolo Nutini, and Foreigner, has been postponed until Dec. 10. Page can't play guitar for 3 weeks.

Is Meat Loaf toast?:http://www.antimusic.com/news/07/nov/02Meat_Loaf_is_Burnt.shtml

Ozzy says those darn illegal downloads are to blame for his lousy record sales...or at least thats what Sharon told him to say:http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2007/11/01/ozzy-osbourne-blames-poor-album-sales-on-illegal-downloading/

First it was AIDS now this...poor Magic Johnson...what? its another Magic Johnson? Oh...:http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200771031004

Bow before the mighty Detroit Red Wings and worship them as your one true God:http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/recap;_ylt=AnG0UbJPQ52SATEhzS.INF97vLYF?gid=2007110103&prov=ap

Did I mention I now have the NHL Network? Outside of the highlight show ain't much on it. Kinda like the Big 10 Network or ESPN U..speaking of ESPNU some folks are pizzed that they can't get it:http://deadspin.com/sports/espn/more-people-angry-about-espnu-317766.php

The Red Sox are missing their balls....but not like Lance Armstrong is:http://www.sportsbybrooks.com/red-sox-missing-finalout-ball-from-2007-world-series-championship-14517.php

Speaking of Lance, did you see he's now banging an Olson twin?

Oh video game football look how you've grown:http://100percentinjuryrate.blogspot.com/2007/11/look-back-at-roots-of-video-game.html

Meet a pro football quarterback sicker than Michael Vick:http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=4242

Thats all I've got today....have a swell weekend.

A World Without TV

We live in uncertain times my friends. A writers strike threatens to shut down production on all your favorite script as early as tomorrow. Here's the latest on the dispute:http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-strike1nov01,0,1525738.story?coll=la-home-center

There is a solution to this conflict Hollywood producers....ME. I would be more than happy to revisit some classic television shows with my own twist.....dirt cheap too. For instance...I'd reimagine the Love Boat as The Love Boat 2399. Set in the future, the Pacific Princess is now taking its guests for romantic trips throughout the galaxy. The ships captain has an uncanny resemblance to Dr. Zoidberg from Futurama. Again Alice would feature Linda Lavin returning to her role as Alice Whatsherface but instead of working as a waitress at Mel's Diner she owns it. Mel is long since dead (as is Flo, an AIDS victim) but Vera is still around. She's a homeless person who comes into Alice's Restaurant (as its now known) to provide comic relief. Another Day at a Time features the return of Bonnie Franklin to series television as divorcee Ann Romano who is now retiree Ann Romano. This sitcom is set in a nursing home for gays and lesbians in Florida where Mizz Romano is joined by Schneider, who doesn't realize everyone in the home is gay.

I'd also take advantage of my friends and exploit their lives on the small screen...For instance...there would be Unky Rory P.I. in which our hero solves crimes by day and designs Catholic school girl uniforms by night (or maybe the other way around). TFO in da House! stars our beloved TFO as a former hockey player who opens his home to some wayward black children. Finally O.M.O.M. & the MILF's stars the King of Metal in a modern day variety show broadcasting live from MidOhio's version of the Playboy Mansion, the Beer Cave. The house band would be none other than American Dog.

Honestly, are my shows really any dumber than Kid Nation or Are You Smarter than my Penis?

Somehow I don't think this is gonna bring male tourists to Dubai...at least straight male tourists....Come to Dubai where its legal to rape another man!http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21575434/

I'm not sure I understand exactly how this works but it looks pretty darn cool:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/01/technology/personaltech/01pogue.html?_r=1&8dpc&oref=slogin

Any show that has Eliza Dushku in it is must see tv for me:http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117975136.html?categoryid=14&cs=1&loc=interstitialskip

If you didn't think the South Park Imaginationland trilogy was amazing, you have no soul or sense of humor:http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/11/01/south-park-imaginationland-episode-iii/

Thank Jebus this Star Trek flick never got made:http://aintitcool.com/node/34635

The truth is out there....the X Files movie comes out in July:http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117975124.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

Dog the Bounty Hunter hates black people:http://www.tmz.com/2007/10/31/aande-suspends-production-on-dog-the-bounty-hunter/

This KISS Makeup commercial is great!:http://www.ifilm.com/video/2850650

If you wondered how that Ace Frehley show went the other night, wonder no more:http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=83922

Johnny Rotten explains why the Sex Pistols have returned again...any reason other than "money" is a lie:http://www.popmatters.com/pm/news/article/50419/johnny-rotten-sounds-off-on-the-sex-pistols-return/

Why does anyone who comes in contact with the Ramones end up dead?:http://www.nme.com/news/ramones/32213

Now this is funny stuff...here's a list of the worst sports nicknames...I hope the Butte Pirates are a team in Dubai:http://www.cracked.com/article_15646_worlds-most-ridiculous-sports-team-names.html

72 points in the first quarter? Them Kansas kids know how to play football:http://deadspin.com/sports/mutant-football/this-post-has-bill-belichicks-total-attention-317137.php

That Jon Kitna is quite the jokester for an evangelical isn't he?:http://swarheit.blogspot.com/2007/10/jon-kitna-as-naked-coach-joe-cullen-for.html

Don't look now but your Columbus Blue Jackets are good...real good:http://blog.dispatch.com/cbj/2007/11/big_in_hollywood.shtml

I'm off to write up some tv scripts...I have an idea about a man and a talking car....I'm thinking of calling it The Man and the Talking Car.