BlastFurniss

That's All Folks

2008-06-13T08:45:00.002-04:00

There are 117 million blogs on the internet...as of today, this one will no longer be updated (Que chorus of cheers).....As I've mentioned previously, I'm not leaving the internets. The legendary O.M.O.M. has graciously allowed me the opportunity to partner with him in the re-launch of his website, From Out of Nowhere (www.fromoutofnowhere.com). We have big plans for the site and look forward to entertaining, informing, and making you poop your pants from laughter. We hope to be your source for music news, commentary, artist interviews, and reviews. We're gonna have some really interesting regular features and columns plus you'll be dazzled by the O.M.O.M.'s visual images...photos, videos and balloons for the kiddies. It all comes your way mid July so be there or be flogged with a Trixter cd.

This blog, like the 117 million other ones on the intergoogle, came to be for one reason and one reason only.....I have a huge ego and demand that you pay attention to me at all times. Despite my rather inflated opinion of self, I was amazed that the blog attracted as much traffic as it did. I did little to advertise other than occasionally ask friends and acquaintances the dreaded question "have you seen my blog?" Thanks to Google's ability to spy on anyone, anywhere in the world, I've learned that this blog has been read all around the world....I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified because I always thought people outside of the U.S.A. had better taste than Americans...so my hopes for the rest of the world have dashed by their consumption of my grade D humor.

The posts that generated the most traffic were the ones about music....I think the two things people surf the 'net for the most are things to touch themselves to and music. I sure hope no one their Elmo while reading my blog cuz if they did, they need serious help. An early post on why Def Leppard sucks offended Americans, Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Martians...that thing got picked up all over the place. For some reason, this March saw more traffic than any other month....I give all the credit to the O.M.O.M. and the S'March of Metal (which was hampered by problems with YouTube). No surprise, the posts that were the least successful were those heavy on political or local content. Shockingly, some of the posts that were heavy on sports were actually picked up on other blogs....I thought those were the absolute worst and believe me there was a lot of awful crap I posted.

Let me attempt to summarize what we've learned over the past year together: Def Leppard sucks, some bands are so awful that they should be exterminated, big business and Corporate America are the great Satan, Giada de Laurentis is mega hot, American Idol and the music industry as a whole suck, the Columbus Blue Jackets will always suck, The Cleveland Browns, Indians and Cavs will always let you down, no one cares about anything from Cincinnati, we're all going broke, George Bush is the worst president in history, the American Dream is over, we're all doomed, no team has a gayer mascot than the Pittsburgh Steelers escapee from the Village People Steely McBeam, Evil Larry loves to offend, Kiss used to be great and is now a punchline, and there is no problem in the world that can't be solved by boobs and the consumption of beer.

Thanks to all who visited daily, occasionally and even just once....come see us at From Out of Nowhere next month. You'll be glad you did.

Fun Facts

2008-06-12T09:45:00.002-04:00

I know I said that I'd keep the blog alive thru the end of the month but I've decided to wrap it all up tomorrow.....Before I close up shop here and team up with the O.M.O.M. for the relaunch of the all new From Out of Nowhere (that's...www.fromoutofnowhere.com), I thought I'd post some fun facts about me, life, the universe and everything...

While technically the first concert I ever saw was Sha Na Na at the Ohio State Fair, the first concert I claim was Ted Nugent on the Penetrator tour. Brian Howe, who would later go on to suck in Bad Company was the lead vocalist on that tour. Should you ever meet American Dog guitar player SteveTheado, please break out into a chorus of "Don't you want my love....." Don't hold me liable if he smacks you with his guitar. Good show...Yngwie Malmsteen and Alcatraz opened. Awful, awful band.

The first election I ever voted in was the 1988 primary. I cast my vote for Jesse Jackson. I knew even then that my vote didn't really matter.

Up until 1995 I owned every Dokken, Rainbow, Black n' Blue record...today I own none of them.

I thought Hootie and the Blowfish would be tearing up the charts for years (no, seriously I did) with their late 20th century blend of frat rock.

There are over 300,000 fast food places across America but only one has a clean bathroom (here's a hint..its in Utah).

McDonalds distributes more toys each year than Toys R Us or Walmart combined.

I've never had cancer.

Thousands of people in the Australian census declare their religion as "Jedi."

On a jury duty form I once listed my job title as "Supervisor of Collections of souls."

Reality dating shows have been blamed for a rise in cases of "skankophobia."

The treaty that ended World War II required that all German heavy metal bands include at least 3 homosexuals.

Cellphone use is the leading cause of erectile dysfunction and male pattern baldness.

I once joined the legendary Dublin, Ireland band An Emotional Fish on stage for a blistering version of Lou Reed's Rock n' Roll....true story.

The Godz really were indeed rock n' roll machines. They were created by Issac Asimov to promote his latest short story on robots.

Dogs really can't lick their own junk.....they are actually master illusionists and they do it to freak out jealous humans.

Will Rogers once said "I never met a cat I didn't want to use for target practice."

The Secret Service's code name for Dick Cheney is "Johnny Wadd."

Pandas are discriminated against in the wild because other bears consider them to be "biracial" because of their black and white color.

The Popsicle was invented by Thomas Edison after he accidentally caught his penis in the freezer.

Now do you see why I'm shutting the blog down? Its hard to come up with nonsense like this on a daily basis....enjoy the sweltering heat.

Taken Over By WalMart

2008-06-11T09:08:00.002-04:00

I've had a few people ask me why I'm shutting down the blog.....I guess they aren't buying the reason I gave here, which is that the O.M.O.M. and I plan to conquer the intergoogles with our unique insight and humor.....so here's what I've started tellin' 'em....Walmart is runnin' me out of business. How can I compete with their blogs? They are able to get deep discount blogs from suppliers.....Their blogs are staffed by the most musically in tune, most sarcastic and cynical illegal immigrants you'll ever meet. How can the Mom and Pop blogs face such times and live? The answer is we can't....the independent blogger is being taken over one blog at a time.

Laugh if you want but there are evil forces at work with Walmart....I have a theory....unproven tho it may be, that Sam Walton's mega discount chain sprout up after he brokered a deal with the devil. In fact, Walmart has now grown so big, its actually taken over Hell. Hell is now one big Walmart Superstore....the store is stocked with stuff you don't need and the stuff you do need is out of stock and none of the employees speak a lick of English.

I hate going into Walmart....because to me, Walmart is indeed hell. The employees generally have this look on their face that says "Oh my f'ing God.....I'm working at Walmart!" Its not the kinda place that you go to if you need one thing. One day I went into buy batteries. The 900 year old greeter offers me a cart and I decline. This undead woman says to me in a voice that chilled me to the core "you'll be sorry!"

Walmart doesn't want you to buy one thing...it wants you, no, it DEMANDS that you spend a minimum of $100 every time you enter its hellish chamber. Why do you think they are distributing exclusive cd's by the Eagles, Journey and AC/DC? They lure you in with their respective new releases (priced to sell at $11.88!) and then rope you in with all their other poorly made products (made by slave labor....come to think of it...I bet Journey's new Filipino singer is slave labor too.....but thats for another post). When you get down to it, Walmart is a lot like a predatory bank lender or a cash advance place...it ropes you into business transactions that you can't afford.

Probably the thing about Walmart I hate the most is the customers....its like a white trash Disney World in there....people roam around the place just pushing an empty cart. They just stroll around wide eyed like a kid looking at Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. You'll be able to easily identify these types of people by their sleeveless tee shirts, denim shorts, and their single tooth.

America used to take pride in how its goods were made...things were "built to last." Now they are built to be sold in mass quantities....and as cheaply as possible. Work was once something to be celebrated...being a craftsman was an honor.....those days are long past. Just imagine how much pride that 6 year old Asian kid making your "Git R Done" tee shirts takes from her work.

Walmart...its not one of the 7 Realms of Hell....It is hell.

Jewne: Blue Oyster Cult

2008-06-11T07:52:00.001-04:00

Yep, the dudes behind Godzilla....Jewish.....of course, we're talking about the band Blue Oyster Cult and the song Godzilla..not the movie series...the dudes behind the movies are NOT jews...I think....

Jewne:Marc Bolan - Jeepster

2008-06-10T10:22:00.001-04:00

Considering I mentioned him in my rant against Joe Elliot below, I figured might as well feature Marc Bolan today...yep, he's a jew. I remember having an argument with a guy once who was convinced Marc Bolan and guitarist Tommy Bolin were brothers....even mentioning that their names were spelled differently would not sway him. Let me tell ya, that was the last time I ever spoke to Joe Elliot when he was on the rag.

Still An Arse After All These Years

2008-06-10T09:14:00.003-04:00

Back in my misspent youth, I enjoyed reading the rock mags of the day...Circus, Kerrang,Hit Parader, Rolling Stone. Metal Edge...I read 'em all. My favorite stories were always the articles that featured some rocker, usually Kevin Dubrow, slagging rival bands. So imagine my joy when surfing the intergoogles I stumbled upon a story from Sweden in which Def Leppard's Joe Elliot decided to bash David Bowie, Poison and Motley Crue (while admitting her harbored a gay crush on Hanoi Rocks frontman Michael Monroe).

Perhaps the comments (and if you wanna read what Elliot said, head over to Blabbermouth, I'm not gonna post it here) that made me laugh the hardest (while throwing up a little in my mouth at the stupidity of the 9 armed band's frontman) was when he said of Bowie, that he was more about the look than the music. Granted, Bowie has always been a visual artist, but he was writing great songs long before he created the Ziggy Stardust alter-ego. Did Joe somehow never hear Hunky Dory or Space Oddity? Even Bowie's weak 80's output surpassed anything Leppard put out after Pyromania.

Honestly, Joe Elliot and I have similar tastes in70's music....We love a lot of the same bands...Mott the Hoople, Marc Bolan and T. Rex and the Sweet...the difference is I'm intelligent and in touch with reality and he's a mentally retarded, delusional hasbeen convinced that his band still matters. Take for instance his claim in the same article that Def Leppard had "substance" which was something he claims Motley Crue and Poison lacked. Ok.....How is Pour Some Sugar on Me any different from Unskinny Bop or Girls, Girls, Girls? What about Rocket or the gayest song ever written Make Love Like a Man? The truth is Joe, your band is worse than Motley and Poison because at least they know what they are.

Ya see Mr. Elliot is convinced that his band should be mentioned in the same breath as the greatest rock bands of all time....In Joe's mind they were never a "metal" band (nevermind the early press proclaiming the leaders of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal a label they were proud to wear until the mid 80's). At every opportunity this guy slags metal and metal bands..nevermind the fact his band's 2nd guitarist was in Dio. Joe has a problem with Bowie's look? What's his explanation for the ripped up sock stuffed jeans he wore in the 80's? What about the Billy Ray Cyrus hair he wore? Joe has a problem with makeup...so why is it his bandmate Phil Collen wore more eyeliner than Tammy Faye Baker on their last tour?

Here's all you need to know about Def Lep....they made a decent debut, followed up by a solid record in High and Dry.....then came the commercial crossover Pyromania (where they softened their sound). As played out as that record was in the 80's, Photograph is one of the 100 best songs of the 80's (and probably top 50). But the credit for the success doesn't go to the band, it goes to Mutt Lange who orchestrated that record the way Jim Steinman worked Meat Loaf. When Steinman couldn't work the same magic on Lep when they started their followup to Pyromania, they waited for Lange to become available. The result was the soul selling, diabetic coma inducing Hysteria, quite simply, a record so bad it makes Metal Machine Music sound like the White Album.

Since he's unable to grasp it, let me slap Joe Elliot in the face with reality...your band became a joke in 1987. You owe all your success to a guy named Mutt. Your loyalty to your one armed, wife beating drummer is admirable, however, it resulted in all of your rhythms sounding the same. You never replaced the late Steve Clark, the only member of your band who seems to enjoy rock music.....your bass player with each passing year becomes the white RuPaul. Then there is you Joe....You're an arrogant douche....whenever you open your mouth it turns your shrinking fanbase against you. You come off more and more as a bitter old queen. Remember that blowup with Andrew's review of your covers record over at Melodicrock.com? The guy did nothing but give you free press for years and champion your band....He rightly criticizes your decision to do a covers record and finds the end result underwhelming and you slag him like a scorned lover. One of the few people who still took you seriously and you ran him down on every continent. Oh and the glasses you're wearing? You're not John Lennon...you're not even Donnie Vie. And Joe? Your voice is shot.....maybe if you took a break from running your mouth to the press you might be able to at least get thru one verse of your crap tunes without sounding like an alley cat fight has broken out.

If there is a rock n' roll hell, Joe Elliot is destined to spend eternity being ass raped by the guy who claimed he was Rikki Rockett (or the homeless guy who said he was Peter Criss). Then again, given his recent comments about wanting to shag Michael Monroe, Joe would probably enjoy that too much.

Jewne: Max Weinberg

2008-06-10T09:07:00.001-04:00

One of the great rock drummers and late night tellyvision bandleaders and sidekicks. These More You Know knockoffs are always funny.

Graduation Day

2008-06-09T09:46:00.003-04:00

There were times that working full time, taking care of a family and going to college were hellish and yesterday's weather sure made it feel like hell. But let me tell ya, getting that diploma yesterday made it all worthwhile. Today I blog before you as one of the proud 444,000 graduates in the history of THE Ohio State University.

First, I'd like to thank Ohio State for a brilliantly put together commencement. The thing came together with Swiss precision. Can't be easy organizing nearly 7,900 diplomas. To whoever came up with the tradition of graduates wearing black gowns, might I suggest that Spring grads start wearing gray ones instead. Dear lord...nothing like wearing a black gown in 93 degree heat. I lost a few pounds while I sat there roasting.

Our commencement speaker was NBC news anchor Brian Williams who was fantastic. He made several jokes about Michigan (which pleased the crowd) and asked the class of 2008 to save the country. Williams was very candid about the state of the nation. Williams expressed hope that this graduating class might be the one that finds an alternative energy source so America can stop buying oil from people its at war with. Let me tell ya, I enjoyed that remark more than any Michigan joke. Just wish Williams would make those kinda comments during his newscasts. Despite that, I've been a Williams fan since his reporting on Hurricane Katrina.

Being a lot older than the other students, I kinda felt outta place. OSU prez Gordon Gee's remarks were geared toward young people, and I certainly understand why. I'm sure I was the only one graduating who had a 20 year college odyssey.

I had no plans to actually participate in commencement until my last quarter when I decided I might as well do it. Brutal heat and all it was a nice experience. God knows it took me long enough to do it. As KBone told me yesterday, I've going to school long enough that I should be a doctor by now. For the record, I was not in school for 20 years....Went two years, took ten off....went 5 years part time....took two off....finished in the last year. So really, it was only 8 years....spread out over 20 years.

Interesting stat....in the 2000 census, only 4 percent of residents in the county I reside have college degrees. Only 1 percent have masters degrees (I start my masters program in September). I figure with those kinda numbers I can be ruling this dump in no time. Like I told my lovely and supportive wife yesterday, my degree doesn't make me better or smarter than those who don't have a degree, it just means when she has to write my obituary she can include that I was a graduate of Ohio State. It took a lot of time and a lot of money but its an accomplishment that no one can take away from me.

So what do I take away from OSU other than my degree? Well obviously a diploma....a three point something GPA and a mountain of student loan debt. I've learned that while it would have been nice when I was 18 years old to have the focus and drive I have at 38, I wouldn't change a thing....life takes you along many paths. There are many I wish I hadn't gone down but I like where I'm at now. I never saw myself as a 38 year old college graduate getting ready to start an MBA program but it beats being toothless and sitting in my own waste. Imagine having that in your obituary...

Tomorrow its back to trying to be witty and somewhat humorous....by the end of the week I'll announce what I'll be up to once I close down this blog....I'm off to go on a snow cone run.

Jewne: BEASTIE BOYS - SABOTAGE

2008-06-09T09:30:00.001-04:00

Probably my fave hip hop group of all time....love this video....this group did more to boost Kerry King's profile than playing in Slayer ever did.

God I'm Tired

2008-06-06T08:33:00.002-04:00

A brief rambling post today...I'm too fookin' tired to put anything together....I got to bed about 2am figuring I'd be able to snag 6 hours of sleep...neglecting that the Mrs. still had to get up at 6am to go to work. The alarm went off, the sun came blazing thru the window....and I was awake. Well, my eyes are open and I'm not in bed anymore but I certainly feel groggy and out of it. The only thing I think thats gonna get me moving is a threeway with me, Mrs. Folger and a can of Red Bull.

One of the all time sappiest wuss bands of all time has finally called it a day...Steve Lukather has gone Dr. Kevorkian and performed assisted suicided on his band Toto. Sadly, this happened 30 years to late.

Believe it or not, Van Halen made it thru its "reunion" tour with David Lee Roth. I had my doubts but the boys kept it together.....well, everyone but Ed...There are some rumblings that they'll get back in the studio to make new music but I think its as likely to happen as Chinese Democracy seeing the light of day.

Evander Holyfield's mansion is being foreclosed on....is no one safe from the mortgage crisis? I'm continually amazed at how rich people lose their money. Look at Ed McMahon...that S.O.B. should have all sorts of bank and soon he'll be homeless....crap, if he were to win the Publisher's Clearing house sweepstakes that he used to shill on the tellyvision, they'd have to find him in a cardboard box under the bridge.

I'm off to graduation rehearsal...........drink a Bud in my honor

Death Angel-Dethroned

2008-06-06T08:25:00.001-04:00

Gotta give props to Death Angel..killer show last night at the Alrosa. Each song was just furious and the band was tight as hell. The O.M.O.M. and I had a chance to meet up with the guys before the show and they were just as nice as can be. They are bringing the thrash night after night after night...one of the hardest working bands in show bidness right now.

Jewne-Lenny Kravitz

2008-06-06T08:21:00.001-04:00

I wanted to love Lenny Kravitz, sadly, I only tolerate him. It wasn't the lack of original ideas that turned me off, it was the fact he's so damn dull. Still, he has 3 things going for him that I don't...He's a Jew, His Mom was on the Jeffersons, and he nailed Lisa Bonet. Good on ya Lenny!

Why I Hate My Summer Vacation

2008-06-05T08:43:00.003-04:00

As Denis Leary sang in the Asshole song, "I walk around in the summertime saying how about this heat?" So, how 'bout it? Freakin' brutal. Like good paying jobs, Spring doesn't exist in Ohio anymore. May is cooler and wetter than April. Just last week I froze my ass off at the boys ball game and today I'm running around the house wearing nothing but a thong and a smile. Its days like this, and the ones upcoming, that make me hate summertime.

Of course, those who know me well understand that I have a lot of hate in my heart. Here are some other reasons I hate Summer:

The neighbor kids....always comin' down wanting to swim or trying to raid the fridge. Some of the kids are darn nice but there is one particular shit head down the block who should be the poster child for birth control. In fact, his whole family is an ethnic cleansing waiting to happen. Each night I pray that they become one of the millions of families who lose their home to foreclosure. Sure that's mean, but I'm a petty bastard.

Bugs....50 times a day you'll hear me shout this expression to the kids "shut the damn door you're letting bugs in." I wish I could mix it up a little bit..."hey, we ain't runnin' a bug motel!" or something like that would be a nice change of pace. The kids are as sick of "shut the damn door you're letting bugs in" just as much as I am.

Allergies...Used to be they only hit me at harvest season...then it became Spring..now its a 6 month reality series called "Dancing With My Snot." Plus I go around making up parody songs like "Runny Eyes" to Eric Carmans Hungry Eyes from Dirty Dancing. Don't even get me started on Eric Carman...went from pop genius to shite in three point five seconds....

TV...257 channels and nothin' on. Reality bullshit....hockey's now over, the NBA begins its swan song tonight....that leaves me with nothing but the underachieving Indians until the Browns begin preseason games in August. Wouldn't have been as bad if I at least had Rescue Me to watch this season, but NO, freakin' writers strike pushed that back to next year.

The Summer Olympics...thrill to the drama that is product placement before a worldwide audience. I'm boycotting Chinese food until after the conclusion of the summer games. I'm still bitter about the U.S. basketball team getting screwed out of the gold medal in 1972. Sure I was only two then but I learned how to hate at an early age.

Summer concerts....everyone in the world is on tour in the summertime.....so little money, so few shows. My days of selling blood plasma for concert money are long past.

Summer movies....everything is a god damn event movie. I wasn't gonna go but now I'm interested in seeing the Hulk...it'll either be great or a train wreck. If you don't think the new Batman movie looks killer you're an idiot.

This one is special for this summer...presidential elections and party conventions. Yawn.

Amusement parks.....call me a puss but I have a fear of heights which rules out rollercoasters. Plus, have you seen the price of admission to Cedar Point and Kings Island? Plus, thanks to my recently earned college degree, I can tell you that the amusement park was created as a form of leisure for working class immigrants on Coney Island. Like the movie, it rose to popularity as people who worked too hard for too little found a way to brighten their mundane lives. Of course, back then you probably got a family admitted for a nickel....I'm not sure but I believe a single day outting at Cedar Point for a family of four including admission, gas, and food now runs somewhere around five thousand dollars.

I'm sure I could name more reasons as to why I hate summer but I'll spare you.....I'm off to drop a bag of frozen peas into the front of my thong. Cool your balls and the rest will follow.

Jewne:Kiss:Firehouse(live'76)

2008-06-05T08:37:00.001-04:00

Alright, Kiss is an obvious choice for Jewne but you cannot deny the brilliance of this song. Words cannot express how much their current activities depress me but at the same time, its almost impossible to articulate how much they meant to me as a kid. Their early work remains timeless...Damn shame radio never plays these cuts...I refuse to recoginize any hall of fame that doesn't include these guys.

Death Angel - Room With A View

2008-06-05T08:34:00.001-04:00

As far as I know these guys aren't Jewish but I'm gonna feature 'em anyway since they are headling at the Alrosa tonight. Another killer metal band from the Bay area....God am I getting old...this tune is 20 years old now.

The Last Political Post I'll Write...I Swear!

2008-06-04T08:34:00.003-04:00

After what seems like the most drawn out primary season in history, Barack Obama last night was finally able to declare victory over Hillary Clinton and seal the Democratic party's nomination for President. In his victory speech, Obama wasted little time in going after Grandpa John McCain, his opponent in the November election. My friends, we're in for a long, bloody and expensive campaign. Sadly, with all the issues this country is facing, I suspect we're gonna be treated to a media driven discussion on petty bullshit.

You can already see it coming.....Obama's membership in Jeremiah Wright's church (of course he resigned as a member last week) will get the bible thumpers going on the "morals and values" issue. I'm amazed at how many people still believe Obama is a practicing Muslim (he isn't). If you listen closely you can also hear the gay marriage issue drumming faintly from California. This is what McCain will focus on....he knows he can't win on the real issues.

I love America but Americans do not know how to accept criticism. We've had it beaten into our skulls since the day we were born that America does everything better than any other country. Maybe in the 1950's we did but the only thing America does better than everyone now is hide its head in the sand and pretend that everything is ok. Neither candidate will be honest and admit that the sky really is falling. Of the two, Obama, if the media will allow him, will be the most likely to talk about the real issues and offer plans for change. McCain on the other hand, really does appear to be nothing more than an extension of the idiot who has called the White House home the past 8 years.

Its fitting that this year's NBA finals will feature the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics because thats what this election is. Growing up in the 80's, these two teams always seemed to square off for the title. The Lakers roster was pretty much black (except for ubergeek Kurt Rambis) while the Celtics had more white guys on the floor than the combined rosters of every other NBA club. In this election, Obama is the Showtime Lakers...he's the Magic Johnson (only without the AIDS virus) and McCain represents the slow white guys.

But when you look at the Lakers and Celtics today in 2008, the Celtics are no longer lily white. Their stars are all black and they have no white players of note. Using my basketball analogy, Obama is Kobe Bryant (without the charges of ass rape in Denver), while McCain is a 12th man at worst and a past his prime journeyman clinging to past glory at best.

McCain's only shot at winning this election, and I think he has a great chance of doing so, is to play up his whiteness. Bill Maher in speaking of McCain reaching out to evangelicals said (and I'm paraphrasing) "its sad when smart people have to act stupid in order to get elected." McCain will have to sell out his soul and make this campaign about race. He will say he has more experience than Obama but what he'll mean is "I'm whiter than he is." McCain will try to give the appearance that he's above the fray while hatchet men like Rush Limbaugh and Fox News will have pundits on spreading Negrophobia. The GOP will wage a 21st century electronic lynching and the news media is sure to be a willing participant. The only product McCain has to sell in this election is fear.....and if we've learned one thing from Bush's War of Terror (thanks Borat), its the American people have learned to be afraid.

Now more than ever we cannot afford to be afraid. We've lost the things that have made us great as a country. More and more of America resembles a third world country. People are working harder for less. Nearly 50 million Americans are without health insurance. People can't afford to pay for their houses or fill up their gas tanks or their ever swelling bellies. Our energy policy has only served to fatten the wallets of the CEO's while depleting our bank accounts and destroying the planet.

I don't think Obama is the saviour or even the second coming of FDR or Robert Kennedy...but electing a black man as president would be an incredible sign that this country is ready to turn the page and actually change the things that are slowly killing it. Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day where a black man could be elected President. I distrust all politicians and generally consider presidential elections to be nothing more than choosing between "the evil of two lessers." I hope I'm wrong and that McCain's "fear of a black planet" campaign theme doesn't come to pass. But this country elected George W. Bush twice so we seem to have a love for embracing the stupid. FDR said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I think the only thing we have to fear is ourselves. Think of it this way...if you're having a party who do you wanna listen to? James Brown or Pat Boone? When ya think of it that way, the choice is easy.

Jewne:Anthrax - Caught In A Mosh

2008-06-04T08:33:00.001-04:00

Scott Ian, guitarist, cool dude...chosen one. Yep, he's a Jew...as is fellow Anthrax guitar player Dan Spitz. Ian always comes off great whenever VH1 features him in one of its Metal shows. He was also smart enough to shave his head when he began losing his hair.

Random Crap Tuesday

2008-06-03T08:20:00.002-04:00

In September of 1988 I took my first classes at THE Ohio State University....dropped out in 1990 after having no clue as to what I wanted to be when I grew up.....Came back part-time in the fall of 2000 due to what I now consider to be a midlife crisis. Left again in 2005 and returned last fall....today my friends I am proud to announce that after kicking the ass of my Math final last night, I will be officially graduating this Sunday. When I advised my history professor of this his reaction was "Well, that explains the weather forecast I just saw...hell freezes over!"

I've found myself looking back on this 20 year odyssey (and as a point of pride let me stress it didn't actually take me 20 years...I was in classes, mainly part-time for only 7 of those years....I'm not that much of a slowpoke), thinking of how music has changed....In 1988 vinyl records were still being made, cd's were packaged in long cardboard boxes and cassettes were still "the" most popular way of getting music to the masses. 20 years ago if you wanted music (or porn) you had to walk in someplace and buy it. Mind you, I wouldn't give up my Ipod or DVR for anything but nothing beat the thrill of going into a record store and flipping thru the racks. Come to think of it, thats probably why I didn't finish school in the early 90's.....too much time hanging out in record stores and in bars drinking and listening to live music. Record stores are gone and clubs that play live music are on the endangered species list.

Here's a disturbing trend....in some concert venues they have screens that allow concertgoers to send text messages to this giant screen. You are in a place with thousands of people and rather then talk to them, you send an electronic message from a phone...What the fook is wrong with us as a society? I love e-mail, the internet and the convenience of my cellphone but nothing tops an honest to god, actual stimulating conversation. This kinda shit is why I am not a people person.

Should we starta pool as to when Scott Weiland goes back to rehab or dies? Even Robin Quivers on yesterday's Howard Stern show was talking about how awful he was last week when she saw Stone Temple Pilots.

Maybe Weiland and Tatum O'Neal can get a frequent flier discount at Betty Ford.....

CBS unveils a new series about 70's swingers Thursday night called Swingtown. Why the fascination with the 70's? I was alive then....a good deal of the music was awful, fashion was terrible, haircuts were terrible, men wore terrible pornstaches and as for the home decor all I have to say is two words.....shag carpeting. Leave the 70's where they belong...in the dustbin of history. All you really need to keep from the 70's are your Kiss and Springsteen records and maybe Star Wars.

I'm off to make french toast.....enjoy the rain.

Jewne: David Lee Roth

2008-06-03T08:19:00.001-04:00

Yep, DLR is Jewish...he has my vote for the baddest Jew in rock...everything a frontman should be...this vid is a real treat...its just Dave's vocal track from Runnin' With the Devil.....damn entertaining stuff my friends.

Bo Diddley RIP

2008-06-03T08:17:00.001-04:00

You can make the argument, and I do, that Bo Diddley was the first rock n'roll guitar hero. His self named "beat" can still be heard wherever quality rock records are being made.

Jewne:Slash's Snakepit Good To Be Alive

2008-06-02T08:19:00.001-04:00

Yep, Slash,seen here on Letteman, is Jewish. Has any guitar player had to put up with two bigger pains in the ass than this guy? Axl Rose and Scott Weiland? He's one more prima donna lead singer away from an unholy triniy. Cool useless fact about Slash...David Bowie used to date his mom.

Welcome to Jewne

2008-06-02T07:38:00.002-04:00

Welcome to Jewne and the last month of the blog...Today's post will be brief as I have a Math final to cram for (nothing like pushing 40 and worrying about taking a test) and I've gotta get Tatum O'Neal into a 12 step program ASAP. Its fitting that the Academy Award winning actress stars in a show called "Rescue Me." That girl needs some big time help...buying crack on an NYC street like a common junkie?

I should note, I mean no disrespect by celebrating the contributions of Jewish rockers during the month of Jewne...I'm not an anti-Semite by any means. While surfing the internets recently I came across a list of Jewish rockers and it blew me away.

I'm on vacation from the job this week...if you can call it a vacation. I have so much work to do around the house it would take a month off of work to get to it all. Power-washing the fence is gonna be a lot of fun....holding that wand in your hand is an incredible feeling of power (go ahead, make a penis joke here...I'll wait). Not only can you get the crud off the wood (heh heh...go ahead make another penis joke....I don't mind) but you can keep the kids in line when they misbehave.

Speaking of dick jokes, recent reports indicate that the Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour is falling apart. Our buddy Andrew over at Melodicrock.com reports today the band was an hour late the other night and that singer Scott Weiland was obviously intoxicated (or stoned) on stage. One of the DJ's on Sirius yesterday was sharing her experience from a recent show and said it was the worst show she's ever seen. Maybe now STP will do us all a favor and fade back into oblivion.

Speaking of Melodicrock.com, head over and check out Andrew's review of the new Journey cd. Andy has never met a record he didn't like and this is no different...he gives this one a 97. Granted, I haven't heard the record, but that kinda score means it should be up there with the White Album and Exile on Main Street.

I'm still hooked on the new Alejandro Escovedo single Always a Friend...though if you listen close enough, you can hear a vocal similarity to Paul Stanley. Eerie.

Speaking of eerie....I heard the title cut of the new Judas Priest record Nostradamus. Musically, the band rips it up...Halford's voice is even in fine form but as for the lyrics...well, as far as concept records go it ain't exactly Tommy. Hell, it isn't even Operation Mindcrime 2:Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Pet peeve...when bands make "sequels" to records....Bat Out of Hell 2, Mindcrime 2....I'd have more respect for the act if they just called the record "Fresh Out of New Ideas."

Now Chicago...that was a band that knew how to name records.

Brave Words and Bloody Knuckles has a Gene Simmons interview up where the Kiss bassist (and Jewish rocker) says the band has already signed a contract to do a "Kiss Idol" type show. Simmons has dropped hints in the past that the band could continue without his involvement or Paul Stanley's. Paul seems none too pleased with Gene running his mouth saying ""These things are typical. Gene says something as if it was a fact, but there is no signed deal. The future has many possibilities. Will it happen next week? No! Am I opposed to the idea? Of course not" Again, feel free to insert your "Gene Simmons is such a dick" joke here.

Further proof reunion mania has gone too far...the made for tv act Rockstar:Supernova just played a one off reunion gig...who cares?

News of the World reports that Courtney Love is distraught because someone has stolen the ashes of her late husband, Nirvana frontman (and hair band serial killer) Kurt Cobain. Now consider that the News of the World is the most unreliable source for news this side of Fox News...still the story is funny...especially because according to the report Cobain's ashes are kept in a "pink, bear-shaped bag." What, you were expecting a heart shaped box?

I'm off to remember what a Euler Circuit and a Euler Path is....Shalom my brothers!

Jewne-Twisted Sister

2008-06-02T07:35:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Jewne, a celebration of great rock and roll brought to us by our Jewish friends. Lots of artists to choose from and who better to kick it off than Dee Snider, one of the coolest personalities in rock. Twisted Sister was a fun band...their look was perfect for the emerging Mtv, sadly, it also made them seem like cartoon characters which hurt their credibility long term.

Mayhem:The Go-Go's- Vacation (live 2000)

2008-05-30T10:56:00.001-04:00

Oh like you wouldn't have nailed at least two or three of them! Belinda Carlisle is the only person I've ever known of that claims doing coke made her chubby.

Random Crap Friday

2008-05-30T09:28:00.003-04:00

Nothing like the last work day before a well deserved vacation. It has been at least 15 months since I've had a work free week.....life will be good....for at least 7 days. The blog will be updated next week but the update times may vary depending on sleeping habits, household chores and various appointments set up during the week. Monday I'll take my final exam ever at THE Ohio State University and I'll cap off my vacation week with my college graduation next Sunday. 20 best years of my life let me tell ya.

RIP Harvey Korman....some of my earliest tv memories include Harvey....back in the pre-cable days when we only had 3 channels, I actually enjoyed watching the Carol Burnett show. I can't imagine young kids enjoying a show like that today. Harvey was great in Blazing Saddles and he and Tim Conway were always great together.

RIP Alexander Courage....the composer of the original Star Trek theme is boldly going where we all eventually go...to the undiscovered country....death.

The realization that I have until 2009 to see another episode of Lost is sinking in. Last night's season finale was fantastic...gave a lot of answers, left a lot more questions....gonna be a helluva tough wait to see what happens next. Lost is far and away the best show on tv and if you ain't watching it, go buy the dvds and catch up. You'll thank me for it.

I'm so sick of the dying news media trying to create non-issues when we have so many real ones destroying our country and the world. Some crazy priest gives a sermon at Obama's church and its used to throw more stink on his campaign....meanwhile, the Christian Wrong er Right, has decided to start beating the "gay marriage" drums again....look, if Ellen wants to marry Jodie Foster and Rob Halford wants to marry Mr. Sulu, let them....I'll approve of nearly anything that creates jobs, ends the war, provides health care to everyone and allows me to fill up my gas tank for under 75 bucks.

In related news, Clay Aiken is gonna be a daddy....seriously....the former American Idol runner up has knocked up the 50 year old sister of music producer David Foster via, you guessed it, artificial insemination. This will be the first child for the artist affectionately known on the intergoogles as "the Gayken."

I think that you couldn't find a more festive meat than the bratwurst.

If you're looking for something to read on the internets, check this out http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/20947527 Its Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest rock guitar songs of all time. If they've left out Yngwie J. Malmsteen's "I'll See the Light Tonight" I'll be ever so pissed.

Tracii Guns version of L.A. Guns is looking for a singer...how bout just merging with the Phil Lewis version of L.A. Guns? One L.A. Guns is too much let alone two.

Deep Purple is issuing a 4 DVD box set....I'm hoping its audio only...I don't wanna see those guys on a big tv in HD.....

If you took my advice and bet on the Spurs to beat the Lakers, I'm sorry I let ya down. I smell a Lakers title now....as much as I hate ass rapist Kobe Bryant, I think they'll be too much for the Celtics or Pistons to handle. I still like the Penguins to rally back to take the Cup from the Red Wings.

Thank God football training camps are right around the corner cuz watching the Indians these days is like watching a Premier League soccer game....in fact, a soccer team puts up more points that the Tribe does.

Gonna be a hot one this weekend....feel free to walk around without pants.

Mayhem: Alejandro Escovedo w/the Boss-Always a Friend

2008-05-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

This is my fave song of the moment...Alejandro Escovedo deserves to be a huge star....here he is in Houston a few months back playing his new single with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band....Just a killer songwriter

Mayhem: Bad Records I Own-Giuffria I Must Be Dreaming

2008-05-30T08:48:00.001-04:00

Yep...I own the 2nd Giuffria record....used to play it a lot...then I realized they were awful...kinda of the bastard child of Journey and Foreigner...simply terrible. Though I will say, I thought David Glenn Eisley's voice was fine, he just needed better material.

Mayhem: Bad Cd's I Own Edition: Diving for Pearls

2008-05-29T14:29:00.001-04:00

Not only do I own this lousy record, I bought it off ebay when I was going thru a late 80's, early 90's nostalgia period. I remember going to see KBone in Tampa during Xmas 1989 and you couldn't escape this tune, or Tesla's Love Song on the radio. Must have heard each 60 times going thru Atlanta alone...I'd call 'em a one hit wonder but this wasn't much of a hit.

Hey, Its Evil Larry!

2008-05-29T14:25:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the late post today gang, I was busy having a bowl of soup with Frank Sinatra's widow.....I don't know which tasted better, the soup or Mrs. S!...ZING!

Seriously, we're short on time today....had to get one of these scope things up my yukus to take pix of my colon. There's nothing wrong with me, I just left the feel of cold steel up against my rectum.

Speaking of steel, I dare you to name a sexier black man than Lexington Steele. Yoinks that dude is packin' heat. The last time somethin' black with one eye got that much action its name was Sammy Davis Jr.

Whatever happened to lawn darts?

Mark it down...this Barry O'bama stands no chance of beating John McCain in this election. It'll be a cold day in hell before the U.S. elects a black Irishman to office.

Ethel Merman was the best sex I ever had.

Give me Larry and you can keep the rest of the 3 Stooges.

Evil Larry's cure to the immigration issue....nuke Mexico.

Mayhem: The Mavericks - All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down

2008-05-28T09:11:00.001-04:00

One of the great alt country acts of all time, the Mavericks never received the attention they deserved. Sure they won a Grammy and sold a few records early on, but they were too "out there" for country radio and country fans and "too country" for the rock crowd. Singer Raul Malo has a killer voice and currently is on the road as a solo artist. Seeing him on a bill with Los Lobos would be killer.

This Little Blog of Mine, I'm Gonna Let It Die

2008-05-28T08:21:00.002-04:00

Ain't it funny how time slips away? Its been a year already since I began polluting the blogosphere. You'd think by now I'd have become better, but nope, its still amateur hour here in the BlastFurniss. Just be happy you don't have to pay a cover charge to get in.

I started this blog on a whim and I had no idea what I was gonna do with it. Originally, I was gonna go for the real serious stuff and that lasted maybe a day. Then I turned it into a USA Today type blog with news, sports and entertainment and then it hit me, no one likes USA Today. Finally it turned into this little hodgepodge of crap with more of an emphasis on music and I think its worked out much better. Traffic picked up considerably in January and March set a record for hits. Traffic since has stayed pretty constant. I'm shocked that people who don't know me have read this stuff but I appreciate them dropping in. I have a big ego and I enjoy having an audience.

To get to the point of this long winded post, I'm shutting down the blog in June. But that doesn't mean I'm leaving the intergoogles...Oh no, my friends....just wait till you see whats coming next. We're talking full out, balls to the wall, dot com action (whatever the hell that means).....Within the next week or two there will be a major press release (no seriously...there's gonna be a major press release) to announce what I'm gonna be up to.

It ain't easy some days to blog on your own....you get sick, you get tired, you get writers block (you think I'd have put this up today if I could have thought of something else to write on?)...so I'm fortunate to have found the perfect partner to conquer the internet with...this man is the Seals to my Crofts, the Jagger to my Richards, the Gene to my Paul, the Shields to my Yarnell, the Captain to my Tennille....he is Lemmy to my Fast Eddie.....He is the one, the only, the legendary, Tony award winning, ya wanna be like him but ya can't, O.M.O.M.

As for what we're gonna be up to, you'll just have to wait for the press release. I've given away more than I intended to....although if you're clever enough, you might discover the name of our project somewhere here on the main page.

In the meantime, we'll finish up Mayhem and move on to the month of Jewne where each day I'll feature a tune by a Jewish performer, including that much discussed, and thought lost clip of Barbara Streisand dueting with Lemmy back in 1978.

That's it for today....remember if you're driving thru a crosswalk and you see anyone from Fleetwood Mac crossing the street, floor it!

Mayhem: Faith No More - From Out of Nowhere

2008-05-28T08:16:00.001-04:00

When Faith No More first exploded, I had mixed emotions about them....I knew they rocked but I knew that their sound was gonna take metal/hard rock in a direction that I wasn't sure I wanted it to go. With the passage of time, I'm convinced these guys were truly one of the best bands of their time. Saw them with Soundgarden once and it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.

Mayhem:The Faces - Stay With Me

2008-05-28T08:08:00.001-04:00

Its hard to believe now but at one time Rod Stewart was the greatest frontman in rock n' roll..no seriously..he was. The Faces came together at the end of the 60's once the Small Faces disbanded and Stewart and Ron Wood split from Jeff Beck and joined up. They only recorded a couple records but they were all great. To me, the Faces were the originators of whiskey rock. The band disbanded once Ron Wood joined the Stones and Rod became a singer of horrible ballads. I have a dream that before he dies Rod will make one final masterpiece but its been 35 years and I know it ain't gonna happen.

Mayhem: Mott the Hoople-All the Young Dudes

2008-05-27T09:30:00.001-04:00

Sure this is an obvious choice for a Mott tune but it beats Once Bitten, Twice Shy (thanks for ruining that tune Great White). This is on the list of my 100 favorite songs (well, I don't actually have a list but if I did it would be on it...somewhere in the high 70's is where I suspect I would rank it). Great guitar line, killer Ian Hunter vocal and quite possibly the best song David Bowie ever wrote.

Post Holiday Weekend Blues

2008-05-27T08:16:00.004-04:00

Words cannot express how much I dread returning to work...the Memorial Day weekend was quite productive but I could have used another day of sitting around and doing nothing. I did way too much yard work over the long weekend. The pollen count alone was enough to make me feel like I was in hell. My allergies are killing me and I feel like my head's gonna bust open.

The BlastFurniss family enjoyed a visit to the O.M.O.M.'s sprawling world headquarters and a good time was had by all. Mr. and Mrs. O.M.O.M. have a future in party planning. As I left their gated community and ventured back to the real world, I saw a guy being given a sobriety test in the McDonald's parking lot. I didn't know whether to laugh or be sad for the drunk....all he wanted was a little more beer padding. Still, the jackass shouldn't have been behind the wheel.

You had your choice of tv marathons over the weekend.....you could enjoy Law & Order on TNT, war flicks on TCM and AMC...the NFL Network was running a marathon of Top 1o shows (which was actually pretty cool....no one does better work than NFL Films) and VH1 Classic had a Metal themed Memorial Day weekend. I watched a lot of that because as an American I felt it my duty to remember all the bands who fought for my right to rock.

Checking the headlines....I think Sammy Hagar has killed too many brain cells. He claims his new band Chickenfoot, featuring Michael Anthony, Chad Smith of the Chili Peppers and Joe Satriani, will rival Led Zeppelin. This has failure written all over it....anyone remember Sammy's last supergroup Planet Us (that was with Neal Schon and Slash) or the one project that actually saw a release, the terrible HSAS?

Why do musicians ever bother with the whole "supergroup" idea in the first place? Name one good one....you can't. In the name of Asia and GTR I beg you to stop.....

Hanoi Rocks has announced that they've hired a new drummer...in related news, Vince Neil says he plans to resume driving drunk.

Note to self...when hanging out with guests at the O.M.O.M. compound do not make jokes in reference to the Station Fire and Great White....

Anthropologists have conclusively determined that Warrant lead singer Jani Lane is actually the mysterious Yeti.

Krokus has announced a reunion of its "classic" lineup....Can I sue Krokus for this? This is an act of consumer fraud because Krokus never had a lineup that could be considered classic.

Note to anyone who runs a website...if you quit your day job in hopes that you can make a living off of your site, don't come crying to your readers begging for money to help support you. Yes, I'm talking to you Andrew McNeice of Melodicrock.com. Maybe Joe Elliot will give you 12 bucks to keep your site up but not me.....

Note to Stephen Pearcy, Bret Michaels and Geoff Tate...if no one is interested in buying tickets or cd's to see your past your prime bands, why would be interested in buying your solo cd's or going to your sold concerts?

If Vince Neil really has a fetish for driving drunk and taking out drummers, he oughta consider taking out his own. Last week we talked about how Tommy Lee was gonna do a show for the Discovery Channel (I think it was Discovery...could be TLC....they blur together) now comes word that the 3 legged drummer has an animated series in the works.....I already thought he was a cartoon character?

That's all I have for today. Tomorrow...a hint at the future..Until then I'm Lou O'Neill Jr. thanks for reading the BackPages of Circus Magazine.

Mayhem: Def Leppard-Nine Lives

2008-05-27T08:16:00.001-04:00

Boy does this song suck. It reeks of a band trying too hard to recapture past glory...take a Photograph like riff to please the fanbase...then add a country singer to appeal to the soccer mom's in an obvious attempt to expand the fanbase (or to bring back the casual fan who bailed on them after Hysteria).

On the plus side, at least they are still trying...most of the bands of their era and genre quit putting out new music a long time ago. That being said, the new music is beyond awful and it might be time for them to think about just going out and rehasing the greatest hits from now on. Its obvious in this clip from Jimmy Kimmel's show that Joe Elliot's voice is toast....

Mayhem: Sex Pistols - Anarchy In The UK

2008-05-23T10:06:00.001-04:00

Some songs are so perfect that there is never any reason to remake them...Megadeth and Motley Crue should have paid attention to that when they covered this one. If I were to make a list of 10 records that changed my life, this one would be in the top 5....This is pure sonic fury...its sloppy, its raw, its angry, its brilliant...I bet Motorhead would do an aweseome version of this...but Motorhead can do no wrong.

I Am Nostradamus

2008-05-23T09:08:00.002-04:00

Kudos to the Old Man of Metal for sending me a link to an interview with Judas Priest over at www.classicrockrevisted.com. The metal gods are prepping a new record and I couldn't be less interested...its a concept record about the life of Nostradamus, the dude who had an uncanny knack for predicting the future. In fact, Nostradamus last prediction called for a leather clad band of minstrels, fronted by a queen, singing his praises. Since Freddie Mercury is dead, and Paul Rodgers doesn't seem the type, it seems fate cast Judas Priest in the role. In their honor, I submit to you today's blog, with yours truly playing the role of Nostradamus (by the way, the O.M.O.M. and I are teaming up for a concept record on Jimmy the Greek).

Once elected in a landslide victory, Barack Obama will insist that he be called only his last name which is to be spelled in all caps and when spoken it must be shouted OBAMA!

Kansas is sold to Canada for 6 kegs of Molson.

The new Ipenis will allow users to store over 10,000 songs on their unit.

New Orleans will sink under water but somehow its citizens survive and live like Aquaman. Using their telepathic powers they command an army of whales to attack Crawford, Texas and drown President Bush's compound. Bush will not be there at the time as he will be completing his National Guard duty in Afghanistan. He hears the hash there is better than in Iraq.

The world will go crazy for the reunion of April Wine.

Eric Moore's new band The Godz of Salsa will be a huge hit in the American Southwest. The new latin beats introduce a whole new generation to such tunes as 714 and Luv Kage. This leads to a new show on CMT called "Eric Moore is 60 and Spanish...aka Who is Eric Moore?"

The invention of the hover board leaves American's to park their cars seemingly forever....until a family of 6 crashes into the space needle...A new car that runs on soy sauce ends the nation's energy crisis forever.

Stalled by partisan bickering, the United States Congress decides to let the American people decide the outcome of legislation by call in vote. This leads to mega ratings for CSpan, Cspan 2 (Electric Boogaloo) and the all new Cspan Classic.

Zebras learn to talk and announce they are tired of being called "zebras" and that they prefer to be referred to as "biracial" or "striped Americans."

David Lee Roth is elected governor of Indiana.

Ronnie James Dio becomes Pope. Bishops are now known as Neon Knights in White Satin.

The Japanese begin a craze of leg reduction surgery which launches a midget craze where being a midget is the in thing.

Los Lonely Boys make a few friends and change their name to Los Happy Boys.

The world wipes the memory of Everclear from their mind..oh wait, that happened all ready.

John Mayer releases a tribute record to Eddie Murphy called "Party All the Time..Mayer sings Murphy."

Eddie Murphy kills John Mayer.

To be more "green" the always eco-friendly Dave Matthews decides to recycle his songs.

Eddie Murphy also kills Dave Matthews.

Lemmy opens a Motorhead theme park in a basement in Galion, OH. It becomes THE tourist spot in North Central Ohio topping the Bible wax museum.

Rush's Limelight becomes the new national anthem of Canada.

Eddie Murphy attempts to invade Canada but is stopped by a reunited Kids in the Hall.

Thats it for my predictions....I'm taking Monday off but we'll be back on Tuesday with all new material....plus coming soon a special comment on the future of the blog.....As James McMutry sang "Its Memorial Day in America, everybody's on the road, lets remember our fallen heroes, ya' all be sure to drive slow."

Mayhem:Ronnie Dio and the Prophets - Love Potion Nº 9

2008-05-23T07:40:00.001-04:00

Here my friend is Ronnie James Dio's introduction to the black arts...His first band way back in 1964 doing a cover of the classic Clovers (also covered by the Searchers), Love Potion Number 9. RJ Dio...he's old enough to collect social security but is still kicking ass...He is the Paul Harvey of metal.

Mayhem: Rose Tattoo Nice Boys( Don't Play R'n'R)

2008-05-22T10:43:00.001-04:00

Thats right its Rose Tattoo day...deal with it...these guys have been putting out great rock music for years and have received no love...the least you can do is give them a few minutes of your time now....some day Rose Tattoo will be dead and thanks to this blog you can say you've been listening to them for years.

Whatever Happened to Spring?

2008-05-22T10:08:00.003-04:00

Used to be April showers brought May flowers (Mayflowers of course brought pilgrims who brought disease and genocide to the Indians) but for the last several years May is the new April..its cool, its wet...it sucks. Since Memorial Day is coming up and is considered the unofficial start to summer (thanks to Kings Island's marketing people I suppose), I ask you what the hell ever happened to Spring? Was it taken over by a Saudi bank? Is it global warming? Was it downsized? All I know is the wife kicked on the heat the other morning cuz she was cold....who wants to pay for that this time of year?

I can remember during my first go around with college the Oval at OSU was jam packed with girls in bikinis.....doubt that has happened this spring...but I'll check it out when I go down there next week. Ain't nothing like the girls in their summer clothes....

Steven Tyler is back in rehab....now there's a shocker....Once a toxic twin, always a toxic twin.

Gas prices soared up to $3.99....who will be the first one in town to go past the 4 buck mark? I think it'll happen within the next day or two. Thomas Friedman writes in today's New York Times that the biggest mistake Bush has made was not asking Americans to change their driving and fuel consumption habits post 9/11.....hmm...I believe I've said similar things on this here blog....So my fellow Americans on this Memorial Day weekend, ignore the high price at the pumps, use your stimulus check to fill up your SUV and drive, drive, drive. Meanwhile, Ford has announced plans to slash production because of the current price of gas and the overall status of the economy....this will certainly result in layoffs. Memo to big 3......how's about coming up with a fuel efficient car or one that will run on an alternate fuel source. If we could power things by bullshit this country would solve its energy crisis forever.

Is there anyone left in this country who doesn't believe Bush is the WORST president in our nation's history?

Play a trick on your co-workers today....go up to them with a look of confusion on your face and ask them "Hey, did you know that the U.S. is in a war with Iraq?" See how many of 'em even know....its the war the country has forgot about....maybe they'll start to pay attention now that American Idol is over for the season. If they had a draft maybe people would get off their bloated, fast food ingesting asses and take to the streets......well, that would require exercise but I bet ya they might hop in their SUV's and drive the kids to soccer with a scowl on their faces tho.

Speaking of soccer, I dare you to name a sport less interesting than soccer.

A search for bodies on the ranch that Charles Manson and his fun filled family called home has been called off....was this really the best use of resources? Manson and his gang are already locked up for life...what are they planning to do charge them with more crimes and lock 'em up for another couple lifetimes? I'd rather see that money spent on investigating American Idol's creators so we can finally bring them to justice for their crimes against people with taste in music.

I'm out of time for today...I left my car running anyway.......

Mayhem: Rose Tattoo - Rock 'n' Roll Outlaw

2008-05-22T10:00:00.001-04:00

Is there a man, woman or child alive who doesn't love Rose Tattoo?

Mayhem: UFO -Rock Bottom Live 1973

2008-05-21T10:02:00.001-04:00

Whatever you do...NEVER...EVER....dis Michael Schenker to the O.M.O.M. I saw him gut a man in a bar once when he said Lights Out was shite.

Untitled Nonsense

2008-05-21T08:52:00.002-04:00

For a couple weeks I've been plotting a guest blog from Ted Kennedy, done ala Howard Stern...after yesterday's news that the Senator has a brain tumor I've elected to scrap the whole idea. Instead I'm gonna re-write it as a Robert Byrd guest blog....that old boy is just ripe for comedy. He's 125 years old (which still leaves him 10 years younger than Chris Chelios of the Detroit Red Wings) and seems to be more out of it each day. When Byrd broke down crying on the Senate floor yesterday about Teddy, I think Byrd thought he'd just been given the news that Teddy Roosevelt was ill. I understand Byrd and TR went up San Juan Hill together.

So there's a chick...that lives life like a dude....takes male hormones, grew a beard, etc...and this she/he is making the tabloid magazine and talk show rounds proclaiming itself as the first pregnant man....listen...this is just an ugly chick with a fetus....the media can stop hyping this story...there is a war going on, the economy stinks, more people lose their homes every day, gas is $4 a gallon and there is a presidential campaign going on...don't we have more important things to worry about than a bearded chick with a fetus?

You know who is nearly the same age as Robert Byrd? Harrison Ford....still I'll go see Indiana Jones and the Riddle of Medicare when it opens this weekend.

Poor Ringo Starr...not only was he the least talented member of the Beatles now it appears he's the least liked. A garden sculpture of Ringo in the Beatles native Liverpool had its head chopped off by vandals. Heather Mills meanwhile is mad she didn't think of the idea...if Paul's leg had come up missing it would have been an easy crime for Scotland Yard to solve.

Another reason to hate American Idol...like you needed another one...tonight's guest performer is George Michael....Poor Andrew Ridgely meanwhile is relegated to appearing on Step it Up and Dance.

That was a joke...everyone knows Andrew Ridgely can't get work anywhere.

VH1 Classic is going all metal for Memorial Day weekend. Prepare yourself to be dazzled by 72 hours of crap you've seen more times than you ever wanted to. I can only hope they run their made for VH1 Def Leppard movie...the scene where Rick Allen is standing in the field holding his arm brings tears to my eyes...from laughing at the bad acting.

Ozzy's wife, Sharon Osbourne, can't stay off of TV...she's agreed to host Rock of Love:Charm School where she teaches the skanks er contestants from Bret "the Wig" Michaels reality show how to be more lady like. Insert your own joke.....HERE___________.

I hate mowing the yard. Especially when my allergies are bugging me like they have been here lately. The other day before heading out to mow, I loaded up Ipod with tons of uptempo, melt your face off, 3 chords and a cloud of dust rock songs....I shaved 10 minutes off of my usual mowing time. Plus I got to scare the numbers by singing along to American Dog's Magnificent Bastard....I hate my neighbors anyway so I'm glad they now live in fear of me. They should.

If you're making bets, I like the Penguins to beat the Red Wings in 6 games to win the Stanley Cup. If you're betting basketball, I like the Celtics to meet the Spurs (upsetting the Lakers) in the NBA Finals. If you're gambling on the Indy 500, God help you....you have a serious problem if you enjoy cars going round and round and round.

I'm off to go pick up my Danica Patrick Fathead.....

Hair Metal Mayhem:Black N' Blue live 1984 Japan HOLD ON TO 18

2008-05-21T08:47:00.001-04:00

Confession...I once owned all of Black n' Blue's records....and I played them...often. I'm not proud of it but hey it was the style of the time...I think it was their link to Gene Simmons that made them "cool" back then....of course 25 plus years later, nothing about them or Gene is cool. The Simmons connection paid off for guitarist Tommy Thayer tho..he's now Ace Frehley in Kiss. Singer Jamie St. James had stint as Jani Lane in Warrant...now he's back to managing a Taco Bell (thats just a guess on my part).

Flight of the Conchords Bret, You've got it Going On

2008-05-20T09:40:00.001-04:00

I hate myself for missing their show last week...this song cracks me up:

Hey there Bret,
I see you're looking down.
Don't wanna see my little buddy down with a frown,
Just because I get more women than you,
Well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure you weedy, and kinda shy,
But some girly out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy,
They want you as they needle when they're rolling in the hay,
So just hear me out when I say...
Bret you got it going on!
The ladies'll get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said Bret you got it going ooon!
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate I wanted to say that your looking ok mate!"
Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?
Not all the time obviously, Just when he's got a problem with his self-esteem.
Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable,
Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable,
If I say you got a "boom ow ow" come on Bret help me out now.
Bret you got it going on!
(Got it going on)
That's the conclusion that I've come to,
But that doesn't mean that I wanna Bum you.
Bret you got it going ooon!
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it we'd be going crazay if one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.
OH, if one of us was a lady!
And I was your man, if I was your man.
Well sometimes It gets lonely and I ne-ed a woman,
And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was feeling really lonely,
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel,
I put a wig on you while you were sleeping, put a wig on you.
And I just lay there and spooned you.
Bret, you got it going on.

I Was Almost Killed by the American Idols

2008-05-20T08:54:00.002-04:00

Call it irony...call it karma....call it what you will but my friends last night my life nearly came to a premature end and if it had.....American Idol would have been to blame.

I'm motoring down the highway....its rush hour. I have my window cracked enjoying a cigarette. I have the radio blaring listening to a replay of the Howard Stern show (my exhaust is loud, hence the need to blare the radio). Traffic is moving at a decent clip. I have a PT Cruiser in front of me and a rig to the right..Just in front of the rig is some kinda SUV...what kind I'm not real sure cuz they all look alike to me. I look down to change the radio dial to the Underground Garage (Howard's at commercial)...as soon as I look back up my car is under attack.

Flying discs are pelting my car and those behind me. The SUV that was in front of the rig had all its windows down...a massive wind gust or the hand of God (I'm not sure which) caused a whole mess of compact discs (what your people call "CD's") to fly out the window and attack my car.

Now my car is dented, rusted, and has 120,000 miles on it. Its looks, like Cheryl Tiegs, are long gone....I was startled but was able to handle the rain storm of cd's well....what bothered me wasn't the attack of the cd's its what was on the cd's that offended me.

I couldn't see the labels on all the cd's that went spilling out on to the highway but I did clearly make out the names Kelly Clarskson and Carrie Underwood as they hit my windshield and bounced off.....I was a Clay Aiken disc away from being attacked by an unholy trinity of American Idol contestants! Haven't these people committed enough crimes against innocent people with good taste in music? Must they now resort to drive by's to garner attention?

You can say this incident was just a fluke...I look at it as something more. American Idol is down in the ratings. Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood are its most successful byproducts yet neither is a HUGE star....Taylor Hicks and Reuben Studdard now pump gas, Bo Bice is managing a Burger King and I'm told Fantasia is doing crystal meth and adult films just to get by. I shudder to think of poor Jordin Sparks and what awaits her....by their unprovoked attack on me yesterday I think its clear that these no talent ass clowns are determined to stay in the spotlight by any means necessary...If it takes the death of innocents on the highway, they say so be it!

My friends I ask that you avenge me...tell all who will listen to not cast a vote in tonight's American Idol finale...if no one votes then no one wins. If no one becomes American Idol then we the people with taste and excellent driving skills will no longer be subjected to their pedestrian vocal stylings and highway flying cd assaults. This stand will allow us to take our country back and keep our roadways safe.

Say it often and say it loud...tell all who will listen "Hell no, we won't vote!'

By the way....I'm not making this up....I was really attacked by flying cds on the highway last night. Seriously.

Hair Metal Mayhem: King Kobra Breakin' Out

2008-05-20T08:44:00.001-04:00

Never cared for this band...didn't care for 'em at all. Never understood how Carmine Appice's career reached this point. I'm not sure his career ever recovered from it...but he got off easy. King Kobra lead singer Marc Free woke up one day and decided he was a woman in a man's body..now he's known as Marcie Free. That's really the only reason I'm posting this vid. I hate these guys....I hate them so much.

Mayhem:Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch

2008-05-19T09:27:00.001-04:00

I'm not a Joan Jett "fan" but I do respect the heck out of her. Chick has carved out a nice career for herself and I believe she loves rock and has always done right by the genre. That's more than Bryan Adams and Neal Schon can say.

Fade to Black or When Good Shows Go Bad

2008-05-19T08:44:00.003-04:00

When I was a kid anytime my Dad felt an athlete had stayed in the game too long he brought up Willie Mays in a Mets uniform and what a sad vision it was to see Willie struggle. That's a pretty common reference as is the sight of Johnny Unitas in a Chargers uniform and Joe Namath playing for the Rams. While watching the Simpsons season finale last night (hey I like the Sunday Fox cartoons...sue me) it hit me that that's what the show has become now...a shell of itself just playing out the string.

The quality of the Simpsons has been fading for several years. Last summer's Simpsons Movie was a joy...great writing, great gags and it did a great job of reminding me why I enjoyed the exploits of the four fingered dysfunctional family. I can't remember anything about this season just past tho. It wasn't awful, it just wasn't good...Usually in its worst moments I could always count on at least one chuckle an episode. Not so this season. I must confess, I'm so down on the Simpsons I have two episodes from this season on the DVR that I haven't watched yet. Just can't bring myself to do it.

The creators of the Simpsons know that they've slipped. They've made several in-jokes about it. Yet they continue to trot the old warhorse out season after season as it comes off as ever more tired. Sure the show still has an audience and its making money for all parties involved with it...but is that reason enough to keep the show on the air?

I've seen every episode of the Simpsons more times than I care to mention. But I doubt very much I'll tune in again next year...I'll give it a shot and if the beginning of next season stinks then I'm done. Same goes for Family Guy, which while never in the Simpsons league, has its laugh out loud moments. However, this season has been the worst ever. Maybe the writer's strike is to blame but if that were the case why are American Dad and King of the Hill better than ever?

One other show that needs to fade to black and disappear is Saturday Night Live. No one on the cast stands out...the writing is awful and the hosts don't even appear to be trying. I have better things to do than watch a guy struggle to read cue cards. Ya know a show sucks when even Steve Carrell can't make it funny. I rarely watch SNL anymore...might tune in depending on who is hosting (which was the case Saturday night). I've made a promise to myself to not even do that anymore. The show is just flat out awful. SNL now comes off like the last half hour used to....its like every skit is just tacked on to fill time.

Whatever happened to the showbiz idiom of "leave 'em wanting more"?

Mayhem:James McMurtry - Cheney's Toy

2008-05-19T08:32:00.001-04:00

Here's a tune off the new McMurtry cd Just Us Kids...killer record..one of the best of the year to date...a record so good that it even sounds good coming thru your Ipod while you're out mowing the yard.

Mayhem:Swingin' Neckbreakers Don't You Just Know It.

2008-05-16T10:00:00.001-04:00

One of my recent discoveries is Trenton NJ's Swingin' Neckbreakers...the nucleus of the band is the Jorgensen brothers who've kept the band going for 15 years or so. The tune I really wanted to post was "You" which is just a killer tune..but couldn't find any video of it so you'll have to settle for Don't You Just Know It. Like many of the great American rock bands that are out there these days, The Swingin' Neckbreakers have a bigger audience overseas. If elected President I will rebuild the economy, provide health care to all, end the war, and place rock and roll music back to the level that it deserves.

Another Lost Weekend

2008-05-16T08:59:00.003-04:00

Another weekend is upon us and you know what that means...unseasonably cool temps and lots of rain. Think I'll hit the multiplex and check out either Prince Caspian (which looks like it probably isn't any good) or Speed Racer (which looks awful). Looking forward to the 3 day weekend next weekend....hopefully it'll feel like Memorial Day instead of St. Patrick's Day which is how it feels weather wise right now.

I've said it before and I'll say it again....Lost is the finest show on the air and one of the greatest of all time. No other show on television currently or in recent memory has ever left me with the feeling this one has. I want all the answers and I want 'em now. Last night's episode was the first part of the 3 hour finale but the pisser is that the next two hours won't air for two weeks as the show is pre-empted next week for a 2 hour Grey's Anatomy finale.

I pulled out the first season of Lost on DVD recently and its clear that the writers haven't been making it up on the fly. Oh I'm sure they've fleshed out ideas and dropped others but at its core, the writers have always known where they wanted to take us, the home viewer. The bummer me for me is only two more seasons left after this season. Once the season finale hits I have to wait until February of 2009 to get my Lost fix. I'm trying to avoid spoilers for the finale but I'm dying to know what happens next. When a show leaves you with that feeling you know its good.

Good news for Joe Elliot and ladies who love older men named Mutt with a knack for overproducing music....Shania Twain and music producer hubby Mutt Lange are calling it quits after 14 years (which oddly enough is how long it took him and Def Leppard to call it quits on Hysteria) of marriage. Twain keeps her money and the rhythm track to Pour Some Sugar on Me. Guess Mutt isn't still the one.

New Kids on the Block are reunited and appearing on the Today Show today. I call this another indication that the country has gone to hell.

Tommy Lee and rapper Ludacris are teaming up for a show on the Discovery Network...insert your joke here. I hear its a home building show or something which is good for Tommy cuz if you saw the vid with him and Pam ya know he's always got a jack hammer ready.

Contrary to internet rumor, I had nothing to do with the sudden death of original Rush drummer (and band founder) John Rutsey. Everyone knows I'd have taken out Geddy Lee first.

VH1 Classic is running a contest where you can appear on stage with Yes. I think I'll say no. You call that a prize?

Another reason for me to hate soccer..The Dave Matthews Band is playing at Crew Stadium in Columbus this summer. Man if that ain't a place begging for a terrorist hit I don't know what is ('cept maybe wherever Coldplay happens to be).

Remember that story about Whitesnake opening for Led Zep? The one I said was BS? Well 'Snake frontman and Robert Plant wannabe David Coverdale has come out and called BS too. He says he never said any such thing and has no idea how the hell the story got started.

Van Halen is filming shows for a possible DVD. Thats cool and all but I'm sure they have to have some quality video in a vault from their hey day...they oughta do what Springsteen is doing and remaster and repackage their records with Dave and include concerts from the same time. They'd sell a ton of the US Festival alone.

First it was Starbucks getting into the music biz, now its Dennys....Denny's restaurants has just launched a unique new music program entitled Adopt-a-Band to provide free meals, promotional support, and concert after-parties to "adopted" bands on tour across the U.S. I wonder if I took the wife and 4 kids in and said we were a band if they'd feed us for free?

Catch my band Uncircumcised Rock opening up for 5 Beer Piss in a tavern near you.

Have a good weekend and remember...just say no to hip hop.

Mayhem:Robert Plant Alison Krauss Battle Of Evermore

2008-05-16T08:56:00.001-04:00

Me and the O.M.O.M. are talking about going to catch these two when they stop in Cleveland this summer. The video on this looks like it was shot from the next county, but the audio is good (if incomplete). They've been trotting out a couple Led Zep tunes on tour and here's a killer version of the Battle of Evermore from Cariff on May 8th.

Mayhem: Drive Shaft You All Everybody

2008-05-16T08:51:00.001-04:00

This video will mean nothing to you if you don't watch Lost. Drive Shaft is the Oasis like band that castaway Charlie Pace was a member of. I still find myself singing along with it and the only lyrics I know are "You All Everybody..." Kudos to JJ Abrams with this song...The song and the band Drive Shaft show up in an episode of Alias.

Mayhem:The Black Crowes-Wounded Bird

2008-05-15T10:32:00.001-04:00

From their great new record Warpaint, here are the Black Crowes on Letterman a couple weeks ago. I've read a lot of negative comments on the web about this performance but I dig it...especially how raw Chris Robinson's vocals are. Can't wait to see them this summer.

The Worst of Times

2008-05-15T09:39:00.004-04:00

What's the worst concert you've ever seen? Here are 5 shows I saw that nearly caused me to end my life or those of the band on stage....

The Worst Concerts of My Life...or How I Nearly Killed Candlebox in 1996

1. Candlebox-Summer 1996-Oshkosh, WI: Let me state the only highlight of this show is that as a member of the media I didn't have to pay to get in. I took my friends Steve and Patty with me. Spacehog opened. They weren't awful and came off as a very polished David Bowie cover act though their lead singer (whose name escapes me but I'm remember he once dated Drew Barrymore) came off as more Graham Bonnet than Bowie. Yet they did a Tin Machine cover to close (Crack City) that flat out rocked. Clear the set.

I should mention this was part of a weekend outdoor "alternative" music festival. Candlebox was headlining day two...after rain fell the night before and the day of the Candlebox show the grounds were a swamp...so Spacehog wraps up, we go for beer. First song goes ok...2nd song starts and the lead singer motions for the band to stop playing. He looks at the 6 people in the mosh pit and says "you guys down there...ya gotta knock that stuff off...you gotta be cool or we aren't gonna play." The 6 people, who appeared from my vantage point to be only breathing and looking at the stage didn't move. They finish that song...they start a third..midway thru it again the lead singer of Candlebox stops the band and scolds the mosh pit. Looked like only 5 people were in there at this point and I'm guessing someone sneezed. At that point, I looked at Steve and Patty and said "ya wanna get the hell out of here? These guys are douchebags." They felt the same so it was off to the Lizard Lounge for Lizard Lager.

2. Air Supply-Spring 1985-Look, I was 15...I did it for a girl I liked...but once I got there I realized I hated her and how it was possible to want to kill everyone in a room. I dumped her that night and dated her friend for the next two years.

3. Faster Pussycat-Summer 2001-Columbus, OH-Taime Downe wants to be Marilyn Manson cuz lets face it...Who wants to be Taime Downe?

4. Skid Row-Cleveland OH-Year on this is fuzzy-Think it was 2000 but it could've been 1998 or 99-Skid Row was the opening act on a package with Ted Nugent and a reunited Kiss (it was their "farewell" tour with Ace and Peter (before they were replaced by different actors like a god damn day time soap opera). The first words out of the guy who isn't Sebastian Bach were "Good evening Cleveland we are Skid Row and we are back!" We? WE? Who the hell are you? You've sold even fewer records than Sebastian Bach has solo? WE? Caucasian please. They could have played the most smokin' setlist from that point on but I was tuned out already and heading for the beer line.

5. Ozzy Osbourne-Summer 1986-Columbus, OH- It was the Ultimate Sin tour...great record...great band...Metallica with a pre-bus crash Cliff Burton opened and ripped the roof off the dump...then here comes Ozzy...hair teased like one of JR's chicks on Dallas (hey it was still on the air then)....wearing a4x black and yellow jumpsuit that he must have bought from Stryper's garage sale....all night long the following words were repeated...."let's go f'ing crazy!"..."I love you all!"...over...and over....and over...and over...and over...and over..Until I felt the need to bite the head off of Ozzy Osbourne.

Bonus crap shows:

Bon Jovi...Memorial Day Weekend 1987...Buckeye Lake, OH...Went to prom the night before...was drunk by 830AM the day of the show....Blazing hot...Smithereens opened and had this look on their face that said "what the f are we doing here?" Cinderella came out next and rocked...(seriously)...then came Bon Jovi...Slippery When Wet tour...the little girls went wild....and two songs in it was obvious....After a 160 shows that year Bon Jovi had no voice, the band had no chops...the only reason for them to be on the road at that point was to take my money.

White Lion....Saw these lousy pricks twice, once opening for Ace Frehley, another time with AC/DC. Mike Tramp sucks and he shouldn't be allowed to re-enter the United States.

Shy...opened for Enuff Znuff....had to call themselves Shy England in the USA...should have called themselves Shite.

Blondie...Debbie Harry is my Mom's age and it made me feel icky. Highlight of show was my wife's text message "How's the tide?" "Very high and I'm movin on" I replied. Yet they are in the rock hall and Kiss, Cheap Trick and Warren Zevon aren't?

I'm sure there a lot of other lame ass bands I've seen...I just don't want to relive any more of these experiences right now....post traumatic stress disorder is often diagnosed after being subjected to a lame ass band.

Mayhem: Ted Nugent-Great White Buffalo

2008-05-15T09:04:00.001-04:00

What I really wanted to post today was some video from the Penetrator era to send out to American Dog's Steve Theado...sadly, it appers there is no video from that tour with Brian Howe. So we're gonna have to settle with what I consider the best Nugent song ever. Ted's politics don't matter to me. If you grew up in the 70's or 80's you couldn't escape the lure of the Motor City Madman...and why would you? The man loves the rock....

Mayhem:Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

2008-05-14T09:59:00.001-04:00

Its Wednesday...and Wednesday is the night we make love...Flight of the Conchords are simply amazing..they are incredibly funny and write great songs. I dare you to listen to this live version of Business Time and not come away singing it all day. I'd love to go see them at the Schott Friday night but sadly, it looks not to be.

Mayhem:ROLLING STONES - GIMME SHELTER

2008-05-14T09:45:00.001-04:00

Not the best video...just a slide show really but its the Stones doing Gimme Shelter live with the great Mick Taylor. The Stones never sounded better than they did with Mick Taylor. Sadly he had to leave the band after drugs took a toll on him. In Tony Sanchez's book about life with the Stones he claimed that Taylor did so much coke it destroyed his septum. Taylor never found commercial success after leaving the Stones but he stayed drug free and still tours and plays great.

Best of the Blast

2008-05-14T08:11:00.002-04:00

Normally I use this blog to rag on things I hate...today I'm changing things up a bit and praising some of my all time faves....Today its some of my favorite music...the records that should be a part of any collection. Obviously, this is just a small sample as there are so many essential records that it would be impossible to name them all in one post. But here they are in no particular order:

Black Sabbath Heaven and Hell: Say what ya want about Ozzy, this record with Dio is their most complete album. Never did the band sound heavier than they did here. Every track is killer. Children of the Sea, Neon Knights, Die Young, and the title track...all amazing.

Kiss Destroyer: One of the records that changed my life. My pick for best Kiss record ever. Sure Detroit Rock City is tired now but 30 years ago? Wow. You can have Rock and Roll All Nite, to me, Shout it Out Loud is the Kiss anthem.

Judas Priest British Steel: Maybe the greatest metal record ever. Took a fringe band and made them superstars. If you get the chance to watch VH1 Classic's Behind the Album (or whatever they call it) on this check it out. Breakin' the Law, Grinder, the Rage...this is the record that made Priest Metal Gods.

David Bowie Hunky Dory: Ziggy Stardust was my fave as a kid but as I've aged this record has surpassed it. One of the great records of all time. Sure everyone knows Changes but the true standouts are Quicksand, Queen Bitch (a tribute to Lou Reed) and Andy Warhol. You can't go wrong with any Bowie record that features Mick Ronson. God rest his soul.

Ac/Dc Highway to Hell: Quite honestly, every Ac/Dc record up to and including Back in Black are must haves. I choose Highway to Hell because of the title track. Rock doesn't get any better than that and considering the fate that awaited Bon Scott its prophetic as well. Its been nearly 30 years since Back in Black (to me its their last great record...they've had decent songs since but the albums to me were failures) and while I'm tired of hearing it (thanks radio) you have to admire how after losing their great singer they rebounded with such a powerful record. No band (well, maybe Deep Purple) ever sounded so good after changing lead singers. To me, Angus and Malcolm Young are up there with Lennon/McCartney and Jagger/Richards. The Youngs have rock in their DNA.

Bruce Springsteen Born to Run/Darkness on the Edge of Town: Its impossible for me to pick between these two records. They are like heads and tails on a coin. BtR is an amazing story...in danger of being dropped by his label Springsteen shoots for the stars and scores a breakthrough hit. The Wings for Wheels doc in the BtR 30th anniversary is must viewing. BtR is where Bob Dylan, Van Morrison and Phil Spector intersect. One of the 5 best rock records ever. Darkness is a scary record...this is the record where Springsteen's youthful idealism met with reality. The songs are dark, the characters are broken down and hanging on by a thread....but they are still hangin' on. So many fist pumping anthems on this record..Badlands, Promised Land, Prove it All Night...but its the angry songs that rip at your heart...Something in the Night and Adam Raised a Cain (best song about fathers and sons EVER). Look for a 30th anniversary release of Darkness later this year.

Guns n Roses Appetite for Destruction: Once Axl stopped teasing his hair the message was clear, the age of the hair band was over. Sure it took Nirvana to put the final nail in the coffin but it was GnR that dug the hole. They didn't wanna look pretty..they wanted to rock. Shame they didn't put out anymore records as good as this one but then they wouldn't be so easily compared to the next band....

The Sex Pistols Never Mind the Bollocks: One record, one U.S. tour and then they broke up...only to reunite 20 years later for a cash grab. One of the most influential records ever. Raw, angry, fun. Plus you gotta love the whole Sid and Nancy story.

The Ramones....pick any.

The Clash London Calling: If heaven has a bar (and it better have several) Joe Strummer is downing shots and having a pint with Jesus.

Cheap Trick: I love Cheap Trick. I think they are one of the great American bands but on record, they are often hit or miss. Sure you could get the live record from Japan or you could get the box set which is what I suggest. While their albums were hit and miss, they always had several good tunes on 'em. When you listen to the box set you realize "wow, these guys are amazing."

James McMurtry Where'd You Hide the Body: His third, and final, major label release is where everything came together. Excellent production from Don Dixon. He's never rocked harder than he did on this record. Rachel's Song, about a mother who leaves her kid to be raised by his father, is one of the best tunes he's ever written and it includes one of my favorite lyrics ever "I probably oughta quit my drinkin' but I don't believe I will." Of course that's rivaled by Levelland's "...makes you wonder why they stopped here..wagon must of lost a wheel or they lacked ambition one." I use that line to describe why people decided to settle here in my home town.

John Mellencamp:The Lonesome Jubilee: Paper in Fire, Check it Out...the former Johnny Cougar ws never better than this.

The Rolling Stones: Check out anything from the Mick Taylor era...From 1968-1972 they really were the world's greatest rock and roll band.

The Beatles: C'mon you're kidding right? They are all great...I love Rubber Soul most of all.

Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks: This record from 1974 (I think it was 1974, I'm too lazy to look it up) was his first comeback record...oddly enough his 1989 release Oh Mercy was also a comeback record and the two of them are my fave Dylan records. Blood on the Tracks is a heartbreaking record and I'm a sucker for depressing songs. Tangled Up in Blue and You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go...if they don't move you, ya ain't got no soul.

Richard Thompson Shoot Out the Lights: To be correct its a Richard and Linda Thompson record...this is what it sounds like when a marriage falls apart. No one was surprised when they divorced after this record.

Squeeze East Side Story:Glenn Tillbrook and Chris Difford remind me a lot of Cheap Trick..wrote great songs but never found major commecrcial success. East Side Story is one of the great records of the 80's. Brilliant songs, great production from Elvis Costello and the best song ever about cheating, Tempted.

Gin Blossms New Miserable Experience: Go ahead...laugh all you want. This is one great record and one of the best of the 90's. Doug Wilson knew how to write great songs about drinking and depression which is fitting since he was a drunk who grew depressed after he was kicked out of the band he formed resulting in his suicide. Without him, the band was never able to recapture the magic and thats why they are now playing Popcorn Festivals.

Black Crowes Shake Your Money Maker: One of the all time great debut records. Sure they may be retro...they may not be original but they rock...and they rock hard. Each subsequent record took them closer to being a jam band (with Amorica being the record that made them one officially). This is just a straight up in your face rock record.

Van Halen Van Halen I/Van Halen II: Go ahead...I dare you to not play air guitar to these tunes. Take a great frontman, a guitar god and you have the recipe for fun. Thats what these records are pure flat out joy from start to finish. As Diamond Dave says Van Halen wrote the sonundtrack for our lives.

And these my friends are just a few of my favorite records...just imagine if we had the space and time to cover them all.

Mayhem:Guns N' Roses - Used To Love Her

2008-05-14T08:03:00.001-04:00

I will go to my grave proclaiming the original GNR as one of the all time great rock bands. I lost interest when Use Your Illusion was released (would have been a killer single record, but as a double release..bleh). This song, as it appears on the EP GNR Lies holds a soft space in my heart...after a night spent drinking in the Columbus bars me and some pals of mine would retire for the evening by banging this one out on 12 string guitars. The neighbors loved us I'm sure.

Mayhem:Hilljack - Too Damn Sober

2008-05-13T10:32:00.001-04:00

Still more Hilljack...play it loud

Great Curly's Ghost

2008-05-13T09:22:00.003-04:00

So if its Tuesday that must mean there is another primary election...West Virginia where Mrs. Clinton is expected to win and win big. After all, she is the candidate of choice for white working people. Just ask her..she'll tell ya. Basically Hillary's latest campaign slogan is "Crackas of the Country Unite!" Give her another week and she'll be donning a Klan hood as she stomps thru Kentucky. Its not exactly like Obama can really respond and say Mrs. C is running a "fear of black planet (thanks Public Enemy)" campaign. So since he can't or won't say it, I will. Hillary, like her hubby, will say and do anything to get elected. Oh and Barry? I realize you stand to lose West Virginia and Kentucky but could you have at least pretended like you weren't giving up there? Unless they leave the union you'll still have to campaign there in the fall....

Back to racism for a sec....Obama's field workers are now speaking openly about the severity of the racism they have experienced while campaigning in states like Pennsylvania and Indiana. While the political pundits like to go on and on about historic this race between a black man and a white woman is, what history will remember is how the white woman campaigned like a white woman and used racist tactics at every opportunity.

The 3 stooges still in the race have now been joined by former congressman Bob Barr (I guess this makes him Shemp). You remember Barr...he was one of the leaders to impeach Clinton. You probably best know him as the guy who met with Borat and enjoyed cheese...made from tit milk. Barr, a Republican in his congressional days, is running now as a Libertarian.

Speaking of the 3 Stooges...why is it I find them funnier now than I did when I was a kid? I enjoy Curly and Shemp equally. Don't much care for Joe or Curly Joe tho...those feature flicks from the 60's are pretty awful but the early shorts are a hoot.

Is it just me or do you also suffer from a lack of interest in the upcoming Summer Olympics? I'm disgusted that the games are being held in China....if the I.O.C. was hell bent on showcasing a country where the civil rights of its residents are violated, they could have done it here in the good ol' U.S.A. Its sickening that the Chinese government's early press releases after yesterdays earthquake mentioned that the facilities for the games were undamaged. 18,000 people (at least) are dead but by golly our stadiums are earthquake proof! Hail Mao! I'm not eating General Tso's chicken out of protest.

Scott Weiland formerly of Velvet Revolver and now back with Stone Temple Pilots is back in jail to serve out his punishment for a recent DUI. Anyone else think this STP reunion will implode quickly? Ya know back in the day Weiland and Iron Man Robert Downey Jr. were smack buddys. Nice to see Downey saved his life and his career but Weiland seems to be repeating the same mistakes. Never saw the appeal of STP and as a vocalist I always found him limited. Seems his capacity to change is limited as well.

There is no escaping Sara Bareilles Love Song....you hear it in tv commercials and its all over the radio and I gotta say....the tune blows. Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame sweetie. Oh and you too Amy Winehouse (who come to think of it may be Scott Weiland in drag).

Michael Stipe of REM and Fred Schneider of the B-52's....are they the same person?

Finally did you see LeBron James mom go off on Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett last night in the Cavs-Celtics game? The ball was heading for the stands and the usual scrum for it caused James and Pierce to tussle for the ball..leading Mama James to pop up and offer a piece of her mind. LeBron wasted no time telling his Mama to shut the bleep up and sit down. James said he hated using such language with his mother and was glad it wasn't Mother's Day.

Hey LeBron..if you can talk to your Mom that way would you tell Mrs. Clinton to shut up and sit down too?

Its Hilljack day...have fun kids

Mayhem:Hilljack - Ballbuster

2008-05-13T09:19:00.001-04:00

Before there was American Dog, there was Hilljack...gotta say, American Dog is a much better band name.

Mayhem:The New Cars - Just What I Needed

2008-05-12T13:01:00.001-04:00

Quite possibly, one of the worst ideas EVER...take Elliot Easton and Greg Hawkes, add Todd Rundgren and 2 of his longtime cronies and try to sell it as the the (new) Cars...I'm sorry but thats like Charlie Watts and Ron Wood playing as the Rolling Stones...Ocasek wrote all the tunes and sang 60 percent of 'em...Ben Orr sang their biggest hit Drive and is dead. The New Cars were doomed to fail...and fail they did.

Has any pop/rock star ever made worse business decisions than Todd Rundgren? At the height of his fame he chose to dabble with really stupid ideas...he could have been really famous and settled for cult status...and now in his later years he's forced to continually tour to an ever shrinking fanbase and do stuff like the New Cars in order to pay the bills. Hey Todd, why don't you call Ringo and go out as the New Beatles?

Mayhem:The Cars - Candy-O (Live in Houston) - 1984

2008-05-12T09:57:00.001-04:00

After name dropping Roy Thomas Baker the other night (thanks OMOM)I haven't been able to get the first two Cars records outta my noggin since. Before they became the darlings of Mtv (and then imploded)...the Cars were an interesting rock group. They were lumped in with the New Wave acts of the day but I never thought of the Cars as a new wave band. They rocked too hard for new wave..shame Ben Orr died before the band could cash in on a reunion...and it seems that the New Cars featuring Todd Rundgren playing the role of Ric Ocasek have been put in park. For my money, the Cars debut record is one of the finest debut albums of all time. This band is truly worthy of being in the Rock Hall despite the fact they were one of the absolute WORST live bands ever.

Mother's Day Hangover

2008-05-12T08:05:00.002-04:00

Well the weekend flew by in the blink of an eye....hope you survived spending Mother's Day with your Mom or worse yet spending it like I did with my Mother in law...In laws are a tricky thing....they want you to be involved in all their family get togethers but they never fail to remind you that you're not a real member of the family. I've learned the key to surviving any family gathering, whether its with your family or the in-laws, is to just keep your head down and make yourself invisible if you can. Nothing will bring you more joy or more pain in life than family.

Much thanks go out to the O.M.O.M. and his lovely Mrs. for entertaining me and Mrs. Furniss Saturday night. The first summit against the Pussification of America was a huge success and I look forward to sharing with you the many grand ideas that we came up while consuming mass quantities of alcohol and tobacco.

Ya know I like kids...really I do....but if one more kid were to open his mouth yesterday and ask "Why is there no Children's Day?" I would have hung him from a ceiling fan. I found myself responding like my Dad did when I was a kid "Do you have to go to work? Do you have summer's off? Do you pay for your food or your shelter?Do you not wear better clothes than I do? Then shut your pie hole because (wait for it)...EVERYDAY IS KIDS DAY!"

Speaking of kids, the new James McMurtry record Just Us Kids, is outstanding. Downloaded it yesterday and listened to it 4 times in a row. Best record of the year to date. McMurtry's 8th studio record (9th overall) in 17 years may be his finest work. McMurtry's lyrics have always been excellent and he's in fine form here. What's really amazing is the arrangements. The music has as much going on as his stories. God Bless America is an angry rant at corporate America while Cheney's Toy portrays Bush as nothing more than a puppet for the Vice President. The Governor is a murder mystery set to song while Fireline Road covers incest (yep..incest). Bayou Tortoise has an incredible guitar line and is a great opening track. Ruby and Carlos details a marriage gone bad and does such a great job of sharing their story you feel like you've invaded the couple's privacy. My fave cut to this point is Hurricane Party which tells the story of a man who decides to stay in New Orleans instead of leaving when Katrina came only to watch the city drown. Just Us Kids may be McMurtry's finest work and that's saying something cuz the man has put out some quality material.

Cruel twist of fate for me...Flight of the Conchords are playing Value City Arena Friday night and due to a scheduling issue, I won't be able to attend.

Kudos to Sirius's E Street Radio...last night they ran Bruce Springsteen's special show to benefit the Count Basie Theater. The show took place last Wednesday and was nothing short of amazing. The band played the Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run records straight thru. The horn section of the Max Weinberg 7 joined for the Born to Run portion of the set. The Big Man was in fine form throughout and the show was a whole lotta fun. I can't remember the last time I heard Clarence Clemons sound so good. The Big Man just ripped it up....Since those records are Sax heavy, the Big Man knew the spotlight was on and he delivered. Nils played one of the greatest guitar solos ever at the end of Prove it All Night....

David Coverdale is telling the press that he expects Whitesnake to be asked to open on a Led Zep 40th anniversary world tour....I'm calling BS on this one....not on a Led Zep tour...at some point Bob Plant is gonna cave and do it...but no way does he allow Coverdale, who Plant views to be a clone of himself, to open.

Poison drummer Rikki Rockett told TMZ.com that he plans to hold a press conference this week to address the rape charge he's facing in Mississippi. The charges against Rikki have always seemed bogus...if he did it he deserves to face the consequences but given how much time it took for the case to come to light I call BS on this one too.

Its been a long time since I was interested in listening to a John Mellecamp record but since I heard his new record is being produced by T Bone Burnett, I'm very much interested. The downside is the record is being distributed by Starbucks...the bright side is it sounds like the record is a return to the rootsy sound of Mellencamp's holy trilogy of Scarecrow, the Lonesome Jubilee and Big Daddy...Life, Death, Love, Freedom is scheduled to be released in mid July.

Does anyone really care that Extreme has reunited and is not only touring but putting out a new record? I realize More than Words was a huge hit but did any of their records really sell that well? Was their following bigger than I thought it was? I always found them to be shite and Gary Cherone's voice makes my skin crawl...same tone on every song. Its cool they are touring with Kings X but how big is their fanbase these days? Kings X didn't have too may fans back when they were critical darlings and poised to be the "next big thing." The show comes to Cleveland's House of Blues in August.

Tens of thousands die in a cyclone in the former Burma, then 20 some odd folks die in storms here in the states...todays its an earthquake in China that kills thousands (and the count is sure to go MUCH higher)....The Rev. John Hagee will surely blame this on God being angry for some reason or another....I suspect if God is behind this he's offended by the Extreme reunion.

I'm off to go talk about the end of the world..........

Mayhem: Be Bop Deluxe-Ships In The Night

2008-05-12T08:04:00.001-04:00

There was a time when I was younger that I thought Be Bop Deluxe was one of the most unappreciated bands in the world...now they are forgotten....basically, thats the whole reason I posted them today...a simple reminder that this was a great band. Their best of is a must own for any music lover.

Mayhem: Pearl Jam - Worldwide Suicide

2008-05-09T09:41:00.001-04:00

I've never been a fan of Pearl Jam...never liked grunge...hated all things in grunge...but god damn it I love this freakin' song...don't know why...everytime I hear it I gotta crank it.

Random Thoughts Friday

2008-05-09T08:44:00.002-04:00

My friends the economic news facing Americans has just taken a most dangerous turn....America is facing a barley crisis.....thanks to increased ethanol production, America is short on grain.....I don't eat enough rice to worry about Costco and Sam's Club rationing my rice purchases...but without barley, a key ingredient in the production of beer, the very fabric of our society is at risk.

Who will sponsor our sporting events if not the breweries? Without beer, what will cause our nations marriages to fail? Without beer, what will the Mother's Against Drunk Driving protest? Let me state this simply my friends...without beer the terrorists win. Our nation was founded on the principles of freedom...our right to consume excess quantities of beer and make asses out of ourselves has never been at greater risk than it is right now. I urge you to write your congressman and tell him that you want your beer...and you want cold and at a reasonable price and flowing from every spigot in your house.

C'mon admit it..did you ever think you'd live to see the day where America and its amber waves of grain would actually have a grain shortage? Next thing ya know we'll have a president in office who wasn't actually elected by the people and we'll be fighting wars over made up shite.

In other random thoughts:

Lost remains the highlight of my tv week. I don't know if I've ever been so involved in a tv program. With only 3 episodes left this season I eagerly await what comes next but dread the 8 month layoff between the end of this season and start of the next. This season, tho cut short by the writer's strike, has been the best since the first season. Since the decision was made at the end of last season, to end the show after 3 more seasons the writers have been liberated. The series is really moving full steam ahead to a conclusion. Not only is this resulting in great stories, but for fans it saves us from a repeat of the X Files which dragged on way too long.

Mrs. Furniss has turned me into a viewer of Law & Order SVU...I still have a hard time watching because so many of the cast members used to be regulars on HBO's prison drama Oz. Its hard to picture someone as a cop or a forensics expert if you're reaction when you see them is to think "didn't that guy get prison raped on Oz?"

Aint it Cool News has run two reviews of the new Indiana Jones movie and based on those this movie is gonna be a disappointment. One review compared Harrison Ford to Roger Moore in his last Bond movie...YIKES.

Speaking of Bond movies, I'm looking forward to the new one. Daniel Craig was great in Casino Royale....rebooting the franchise and casting Craig were great ideas. Made Bond interesting again.

You can't talk Bond without talking bout the Cold War....the Russians are back to their old tricks...they've rolled out their tanks for a parade. Ya gotta admit, as far as bad guys go, the Russians beat middle eastern terrorists any day of the week.

So Roger Clemens issued an apology this week....but didn't say what he was apologizing for....was it for using steroids, cheating on his wife (repeatedly), child molestation (speculation one tryst was with a 15 year old girl which Clemens denies)...One of the affairs was with messed up country singer Mindy McCready so maybe the Rocket contributed to her downfall too. You can say you're sorry all you want Rocket.....you are a sorry human being.

Hillary Clinton has loaned herself 6 million bucks to keep her campaign afloat. Her people have slashed expenses to run bare bones rallies of Clinton supporters in West Virginia. Why won't this woman quit? Why does she fail to see what is painfully obvious? You've lost Hill. Quit acting like Dubya and accept reality.

Oil opened at a record $125 a barrel today meaning we're likely to pay $4 a gallon any day now. What life changing event will it take for Americans to get off the couch and take to the streets demanding change? Maybe if I held a rally to end the war and high gas prices and promised a free buffet to all who attend that could do it.

Co-worker "Oh no! I lost my Bluetooth headset!" Furniss "This is a problem how?"

The O.M.O.M. and I will be convening the first summit to end the Pussification of America this weekend. Stay tuned to this blog for announcements on the war on the P.O.A.

Remember your Mom this weekend. Sunday is Mother's Day. I know the holiday sucks but it could be worse...you could be Melissa Etheridge's kids and have two mommy's.

C-I-L-L my landlord....

Mayhem:MOTORHEAD -Live- Jailbat

2008-05-09T08:30:00.001-04:00

I DARE you to find a cooler rock god than Lemmy. Dude is 60 some odd years old and still rocking harder than men half his age and he's still landing porn star girlfriends. You wanna be like Lemmy but ya can't....

Mayhem:BOC:Cities on Flame

2008-05-08T10:31:00.001-04:00

It ain't Godzilla, but its BOC....

Bands You Love to Hate

2008-05-08T09:36:00.002-04:00

Even having Sirius Satellite Radio, the best radio on radio (or so they claim), I hear a lot of songs and bands I outright despise. I'm tempted to write to Sirius that I'm not paying them 13 bucks a month so that I can hear REO Speedwagon and .38 Special. I cannot be held responsible for what I might do when I'm subjected to Hang on Loosely for the one millionth time. Its a little known fact that 1,000 Americans have killed themselves after hearing "Time for Me to Fly."

Here's a brief sampling of bands or artists that make me want to commit hate crimes or vomit:

The Who: When I was a young kid, I liked the Who. Pete Townshend wrote soem great songs...Won't Get Fooled Again, Baba O'Reilly, 5:15.....but I'm sick of them....overplayed to death...would rather listen to John Entwistle and Keith Moon decompose. There is never any reason at all for a station to play Eminence Front or You Better You Bet. Townshend's solo material is just as grating.

Elton John: Has this man written a good song since 1973? He's like a gay version of Rod Stewart. Tiny Dancer is great...thanks to the scene in Almost Famous....but the rest makes me cringe.

Kiss: Rock and Roll All Nite and Detroit Rock City need to be banished.....God of Thunder however holds up well, Calling Dr. Love tho not so much. I must say I heard Domino off of Revenge not too long ago and cranked it up. But then I've always felt that Revenge was one of their better records...definitely their best Bruce Kulick era record. Oh..before I forget...Beth sucks too.

The Cure: Bands like the Cure, the Smiths, New Order, Joy Division should never be played on a car radio. They cause more accidents than drunk drivers. If you're a fan of the music you're likely to become so depressed that you'll run over a playground full of school children. If you're not a fan, you're likely to run over Morrissey.

Coldplay: Say it with me...Worst..Band.....Ever....but then there is...

Dave Matthews Band: I don't think I've ever hated the sound of anyone's voice like his. His music is lame, dull, pretentious and self-indulgent crap.

Jack Johnson: See above....

David Bowie: Was a huge Bowie fan when I was a kid.....then I was just a fan...then an admirer...and now I just don't know....I think his records up thru Scary Monsters are classics and I love them all....but for the last 26 years its been more miss than hit. Earthling was a great records, Heathen was a very good record, all the rest was pretty much shite. Seems like radio avoids the good Bowie and just plays Let's Dance over and over....The man has like 300 songs and they play this one to death...I'm liable to take out a dance troop next time I hear it.

AC/DC: One of the greatest rock bands ever....You Shook Me All Night Long should be destroyed and wiped from our collective memory.

Bob Seger: If you hear a song and it makes you want to buy a truck, the artist must be banned.

Eric Clapton: Someone once said to me "If I were Eric Clapton's kid, I would have jumped out the window too." Granted, thats a little cruel...but so is Wonderful Tonight....and does anyone ever turn on the radio and think "Boy I hope I hear Layla for the billionth time."

Genesis: In the beginning....they sucked.

Chicago:FACT...OJ killed Nicole after hearing "You're the Inspiration."

Doobie Brothers: Less fun than BTO.

Motley Crue: Does anyone believe these guys were ever really any good? I hear Marlee Matlin is a big fan....but does anyone with hearing like them? I never understood the appeal.

Poison: I appreciate the fact that unlike most their hair band fraternity they are still able to draw a crowd. That doesn't mean I should be subjected to Unskinny Bop, reality shows or their drummer's rape charges....not to mention bad wigs.

Foghat: Fool For the City? Please lord never again.

Blue Oyster Cult:I like BOC...I just don't ever want to hear Don't Fear the Reaper or Burnin' For You ever again.

Journey: Faithfully was written by someone with ovaries....and I don't care if Don't Stop Believin' was in the last scene of the Sopranos it sounds like a lottery jingle.

I could go on and on on this topic...but I'll spare you....when you can't think of something to write about, write about something you hate.

Make mine Marvel....

Mayhem:Black Widow - Rough Cutt

2008-05-08T09:35:00.001-04:00

So sue me...I liked Rough Cutt back in 1985...I thought their debut was a pretty darn good rock record. Liked 'em a lot when I saw them open for Dio way back in 1985 on the Sacred Heart tour. Sadly their debut sold little, their follow up less...before ya knew it Paul Shortino was fronting Quiet Riot...and selling just as little as he did in Rough Cutt. This was my fave tune off their debut..

Mayhem: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son

2008-05-07T09:12:00.001-04:00

Who doesn't live CCR? This and Who'll Stop the Rain are two of my all time fave tunes by any artist. For a good 5 year run or so, no one made better music or wrote better tunes than John Fogerty.

Dear Mrs. C.....

2008-05-07T08:29:00.002-04:00

After clobbering her in North Carolina and coming within a whisker of stealing Indiana, its clear Barack Obama will be the Democrats nominee for President. Its obvious to everyone now....except for Hillary Clinton. The only reason for her to stay in the race at this point is to do John McCain's work and beat up on Obama. The only way she can win is to discover video of Obama molesting underage midgets dressed as priests....while smoking crack with Jeremiah Wright...Dear Mrs. Clinton...the race is over....you lost....get out and be a team player. Go home and make Bubba some pancakes....

Someone asked me the other day what were the most important issues to me in this election...I replied "all of them." If I were to rank them it would go something like this:

1) The War...this is really issue 1A....you can't fix the economy without wasting money on the war. I'm not against war...I'm not one of these liberal pansies....I believe you only use the military as a last resort. WWII...good....Iraq...bad. If your national security is at risk obliterate your enemy. The war in Iraq will end up costing us 3 trillion dollars....which since the nation is broke we'll have to borrow from the Saudis and the Chinese. I want us out of Iraq ASAP BUT I want us to increase our troops in Afghanistan...that was a war worth waging...unfortunately President NumbSkull decided to take the team off the field at halftime when we were winning 42-ZIP.

1B) The economy...we need jobs...good paying jobs...and lots of 'em. Its time for someone to do something FDR like....we need a government funded infrastructure improvement...roads, bridges, cities....this is why we cant' waive the gas tax for the summer...Billions of dollars earmarked for roads would be lost and consumers wouldn't see a dime. The government needs to spend only what it takes in...the deficit is out of control thanks to Bush. Its time to repeal his tax cuts to the rich and make the fat cats start paying their fair and mine and yours....I'm resigned to the fact that in my golden years I'll be stuck working part time as social security won't last for Old Man Furniss to enjoy.

2) Health Care....the time for Universal Health Care is now. The cost is a burden to the public and to business...its time to make it happen. Being able to see a doctor shouldn't be a rich versus poor issue...its a human issue. Health care should be the easiest issue to fix....thats why they can't fix it.

3) Education....just you watch....the student loan industry is gonna be the next one to tank...too many kids are coming out of college deep in debt and thanks to the market aren't able to find jobs. Its time to launch the BlastFurniss Domestic Army...spend two years in either the military or in a domestic corps working on roads, planting trees, assisting in schools, rebuilding New Orleans, etc. Most industrialized nations demand two years of military service from its young people.....under my plan you join my Domestic Corps or the military, you get an undergrad degree in return and come out of college free of debt. One of the problems with society today is no one has had to make any sacrifices....kids today are selfish and have a built in sense of entitlement...my plan would require the same from all kids whether their name is Gates, Buffet, Bush, Cheney, Clinton or Furniss.

4) Energy.....during the energy crisis of the 70's someone should have had the foresight to lead us away from the combustible engine and oil. After 9/11 President Shrub should have again made the case for moving away from oil...but being in the pocket of big oil he wasn't about to do that....even though it meant continuing to do business with the very people we were at war with. Considering how many of our tax dollars go to corporations, giving tax breaks to the big 3 to come up with a better car that runs on water or bullshit would have been a good use of corporate welfare. Plus, lets face it, oil is a finite resource....its time to wake up and save the planet.

5) Education....every kid is entitled to an education as good as the next kid. Our current education allows rich kids to get a better education than middle class kids, middle class kids get a better education than poor ones. Education should be equal across the board. Every kid should come out of school with the same knowledge regardless of socioeconomic standing. To help keep kids stay in school, here's my pitch....if your kid drops off, you don't get to claim him on your taxes. There is no reason for any kid to drop out of school in the year 2008 other than bad parenting.

Those are just my top 5 grievances...believe me I have more....I'd run for office but I've inhaled....a lot.

Mayhem: Bruce Springsteen - War

2008-05-07T08:15:00.001-04:00

Its amazing how a good protest song never seems to go out of style.Protest songs rarely rocked as hard as this (other than Fortunate Son). Bruce's spoken intro even still fits...blind faith does get you killed. Bit of trivia I just learned from recording engineer Toby Scott, at the time this was recorded the band had just learned the song...if you look closely when Bruce is kneeling you can see him reading the lyrics off a wrist band.

Mayhem:24-7 Spyz "Don't Break My Heart"

2008-05-06T10:32:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I posted a Living Colour vid...here's another band that came out around the same time....24-7 Spyz and Living Colour were often compared to one another for the obvious reason that they were both black bands that played rock. I had a friend who loved these guys but I never got into them. I appreciated that they were putting out something different but it just didn't move me. So why am I posting it? No clue. This is from 1990's Gumbo Millenium record...

Hodgepodge of Crap

2008-05-06T09:08:00.003-04:00

Ran into a guy from high school last night that I hadn't seen in 20 years. He knew who I was right away....but I had no clue who he was until he told me his name. I guess the good news is that I haven't changed much in 20 years....the bad news would be that I guess I haven't changed much in 20 years. It was good to see the dude...he lived around the corner from me and we went to school together from the time we were 5. Nice guy. Doing well for himself. Got me thinking if I should go to my 2o year class reunion this summer (if one is even held).....and then I realized....I hated most of those people 20 years ago when I had to see them. I have no desire to see any of them now when the choice is optional.

I used to tell my friends that if high school was the best time of our lives then we might as well off ourselves the day we graduate....I had some great friends in high school who I've maintained life long friendships with...others you just hang with cuz you gotta hang with someone and they are around....and then there are those idiots that want to make your teenage years a living nightmare. I didn't have any trouble with anyone except for freshman year...still anyone who says they'd like to go back and relive high school is an idiot and deserves a boot to the head.

So...the Indiana and North Carolina primaries are today....unless Obama wins both states we won't be any closer to having a nominee. I think this whole election was created by the tv networks as a source of entertainment when the Hollywood writers went on strike. I wish someone would get voted off already....I don't want to wish my live away but I can't wait to get to November and get this thing over with.

Have you been following the Ohio Attorney General scandal? All the top Democrats have told AG Marc Dann to resign or be impeached. Dann is refusing to resign so for the first time in Ohio's 205 year history an elected official may be impeached. If you haven't followed the scandal four members of Dann's staff resigned after charges of sexual harassment were filed by employees within the AG's office. One underling of Dann's (I've always wanted to use the word underling) was even running his construction business out of his soundproofed AG's office. Dann's excuse for running such a loose office was that he never expected to win the election..."it's not my fault my staff is corrupt...I didn't expect to win!" Dann was also forced to admit he had been having an affair with a member of his staff (who also resigned). Its good to see the Dems brought accountability and virtue back to the Ohio Statehouse..after 16 years of corrupt Republicans ruining the state its good to see the Dems did the same in less than 2. Instead of impeachment, the Dems should threaten to draw and quarter him....a little 18th century punishment will put him in his place.

Memo to Ohioans...Never vote for anyone from Youngstown...that should have been the first clue.

This may be the worst allergy season ever...my eyes have been on fire lately.

9 gallons of gas this morning...cost to Furniss? 32 bucks. I either need a moped or a segue scooter.

Is it too late for me to become a "military strongman"?

Got stuck umpiring a coach pitch baseball game last night. Went out of my way to annoy the players..."how do you like that mask..fit ya ok?"....."which mom is yours?....oh wow....she's pretty ugly", "you really suck at baseball...have you thought about taking piano lessons?" "do you like fudge pops?" and my favorites "boy I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad having cancer" and "ya see the third baseman down there? I'm sleeping with his mom." The kids need to learn to block out distractions when they are playing...I was happy just to be able to help them out.

I'm off to buy a skateboard....live free or die.

Mayhem: The Hives

2008-05-06T09:07:00.001-04:00

These guys get quite a bit of airplay on the Underground Garage...I kinda dig 'em...this is Tick Tick Boom

Mayhem: The Donnas - Strutter

2008-05-05T09:46:00.001-04:00

I never have decided whether or not I like the Donnas....there are moments where I think they kinda rock and others where I think that if they weren't a chick band they would have never been signed....I give 'em credit for covering Strutter tho...one of my fave Kiss tunes.

Iron Man Robbed Me

2008-05-05T08:13:00.004-04:00

Went to see Iron Man on Saturday night....net cost to Furniss for 3 adult tickets, 3 kid tickets and concessions? $95.50. No surprise to me that Iron Man made over a $100 million at the box office considering the high cost of going to the movies. I liked nearly every preview I saw too so I'm gonna have to land a 2nd job if I wanna go see all these first run this summer. The new Batman movie looks amazing, Indiana Jones looks incredible, the Hulk looks bad but I still want to see it...Prince Caspian and the new Adam Sandler flicks look worth a viewing but will probably be put on hold until they come out on DVD.

Now was Iron Man worth the money I spent to see it? Yes. It's an amazing flick. Great special effects but they don't get in the way of the plot or the acting. Jon Favreau does a great job of staying true to the character's roots. Jeff Bridges is a great (if a bit cliche) villain. While I still think no one tops Christian Bale's Batman, Robert Downey Jr. is at least his equal. He is absolutely perfectly cast as Tony Stark. The one problem I see with Iron Man is that the character's rogues gallery isn't as deep as Batman's or Spiderman's which could make it difficult to pull off a sequel. Maybe instead of Iron Man 2 we'll get the Avengers instead.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to catch the American Dog show Saturday. AD opened for Ace Frehley. I hear it was a great show. Ace is about the only member (current or former) of Kiss I have much use for. At least he's interested in making new music. While listening to Sirius over the weekend I heard a story that Paul Stanley has agreed to star in an extended run of Phantom of the Opera in Las Vegas. If true, that would lead me to believe that we won't be seeing Kiss again anytime soon....which doesn't break my heart in the least. They should have quit after their "farewell" tour like they promised.

A California family will receive a $10,000 reward after discovering Roger Waters missing pig prop. The pig, long a part of Pink Floyd's stage shows, floated away during Waters gig at the Coachella festival. Sadly, the pig didn't make it...it was found in tatters. That pig must have some serious sentimental value to offer up a 1o grand reward.

I downloaded the new Def Leppard record and yes, its just as awful as I expected it to be. The band truly lacks any original ideas. Was doing a song with Tim McGraw the best idea they had? Doing a song with Dr. Phil McGraw would have been more original. Without Mutt Lange they are nothing.

Yahoo has ranked the top 25 hair metal bands...Guns n'Roses tops their list...were they really a hair band tho? I think not...full list here:http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/listoftheday/32122/the-25-best-hair-metal-bands

MuchMusic has a list of 10 things you shouldn't do at concerts:http://blog.muchmusic.com/archives/2008/05/10_worst_ways_t.php

Seth Macfarlane signed a new contract with Fox that makes the Family Guy creator the highest paid producer in TV. Rumor is the deal pays Macfarlane a $100 million over its run. Thats a lot of money for making cartoons that are hit and miss in terms of being funny.

We're a week into May and already I find the Cleveland Indians impossible to watch. I've seen teams full of disabled kids score more runs.

On the bright side my wish of a Penguins & Red Wings Stanley Cup final is coming closer to reality. The Pens will square off against the Flyers to meet the winner of the Wings & Stars series. On the downside, Sean Avery has been released from the hospital. I wonder if he annoyed the nurses the way he annoys people on the ice?

Papa John's is in hot water after the pizza chain gave out free t-shirts in Washington D.C. that sported LeBron James number 23 with the word "cry baby" over it. After outraging the city of Cleveland Papa John's will sell large pizza's for 23 cents on Thursday in the Cleveland area. In today's economy you can call me every name in the book if it meant getting dinner for less than a quarter.

Of all the tell all bios out there, I gotta think reading Barbara Walters new book would be at the bottom of my list. I'm fighting off the urge to read my wife's copy of the new Valerie Bertinelli book. Seems like something that I could be able to skim thru....not really interested in her dirt on Eddie Van Halen but I'm hoping there's something in there about that annoying Schneider from One Day at a Time....I hated that guy.

I'm off in search of better material....enjoy your Monday.

Mayhem: Living Colour - Open Letter To A Landlord

2008-05-05T08:13:00.001-04:00

I'm rarely a "greatest hits" kinda guy but years ago before a long drive to Wisconsin I picked up Living Colour's Greatest Hits for the ride....I came away convinced that these guys were incredible. While nothing they put out matched the success of Cult of Personality, they had some killer tunes...Vernon Reid's guitar and Corey Glover's vocals were always a treat....forgotten piece of trivia...Corey Glover had a small part in Platoon...

Great Moments in Sports-Lee Elia Rant

2008-05-01T11:27:00.001-04:00

One of the greatest rants by a professional sports coach took place 25 years ago this week. Watch Cubs manager Lee Elia snap...priceless moment and perfect for Mayhem

The Buzz

2008-05-01T10:05:00.003-04:00

I've made it no secret...I despise the news media. The way they ducked their heads in the sand and rubber stamped the Bush Administration's "intelligence" in the build up to war in Iraq was the final straw. I gave up all hope of an Edward R. Murrow or Ernie Pyle emerging to bring us the truth. With the halfassed way they reported the run up to the Iraq War, its my belief , that the news media has as much blood on their hands as President Numbnuts does. So imagine my self loathing when this question crossed my mind this morning....as a blogger am I a member of the media?

Let's face it...the newspaper is going the way of the Fuller Brush Man, the Ford Pinto, and the American Dream.....soon it will be wiped from the landscape and in its place is the scary electronic media. Websites and blogs like this one (only better written and better read) will make the Mike Lupica's, Mitch Albom's and Maureen Dowds obsolete....yet some people think this a bad thing.

If you have HBO you have to watch the new episode of Costas Now. Costas has a conversation with Deadspin.com honcho Will Leitch, Friday Night Lights writer Buzz Bissinger and Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards (one of these things is not like the other...one of these things doesn't belong). Whatever point Costas was hoping to make with this is thrown out the window when Bissinger immediately starts blasting Leitch and tells the Deadspin dude "he's fulla shit." I guess Bissinger feels that blogs are poorly written (which if mine is the only one he's ever read I could understand that misguided viewpoint) and allow for bloggers and their readers to be unfairly cruel. To bolster his argument, Bissinger starts quoting a blogger named "Big Daddy Balls." In fact, Bissinger just can't say "Big Daddy Balls" enough....you might say his mouth was full of "Big Daddy Balls".....If his job was to sit back and look as cool as Shaft, Braylon Edwards scored a touchdown. He didn't really contribute anything to the debate...but he came off as more together than Bissinger...an old, frightened, dinosaur scared of the new kid on the block.

Bloggers aren't journalists (or at least I tell myself)...we are normal people with normal opinions...sure the internet offers us the ability to stay in the background and allows for us to be more brash than the likes of such icons of journalism like Julie Chen, Stone Phillips and Maria Shriver....the old guard media types better get used to it cuz bloggers are here to stay....just like high gas prices, the troops in Iraq and a Republican in the White House.

So Buzz Bissinger has inspired me....I don't think of myself as cruel...I think of myself as honest..so throughout May and Mayhem, I intend to be even more brutal in my honesty...

Here's a sample of the kinds of things to expect me to say the rest of the month:

I think its a shame that Sean Avery's lacerated spleen only ended his season and not his career. The dude is a punk and a jackass. I hope he's molested by a male nurse in the hospital.

I think it doesn't matter if Roger Clemens took steroids or cheated on his wife. Ty Cobb was a horrible human being who once beat up an amputee. Professional athletes aren't heroes, they aren't role models...I'm sick of people crying every time a jock lets them down...athletes are just over paid entertainers...quit crying when they don't live up to your expectations. Clemens deserves to be in baseball's hall of fame....and so does Pete Rose by the way.

Sting and the Police are coming to Columbus this weekend. I wouldn't pay to see them unless I could kick Sting in the groin.

I think we're all doomed when the Today show makes a news story out of Paula Abdul getting confused on American Idol. The President was confused on WMD's but they never looked into that.

Barrack Obama, though most likely the best choice, will not win the presidency. America remains a racist country and Obama seems to be awfully naive in the way he's dealt with the issue of Jeremiah Wright. Obama made a crucial mistake in strategy....he assumed that the American people were smart enough to figure out that Wright didn't represent his viewpoints...every good politician knows that the American people are stupid. Witness the 16 years of Clinton/Dubya rule.

Maybe Hillary can suffer a lacerated spleen too.

John McCain's online nickname? "Big Daddy Balls."

I'll do better tomorrow....go to Deadspin.com for the video from the Costas show

Mayhem! Iggy fights with fan

2008-05-01T10:03:00.001-04:00

I'm not a huge fan of Iggy Pop's music, I like it...I appreciate it...some of it I outright love....But I'm huge fan of Iggy Pop as a person....there ain't no one else like him....watch him get into a smackdown with a fan in this vid....

AMERICAN DOG-DRANK TOO MUCH-SAVIGNY-LE-TEMPLE-18.04.2008

2008-04-30T11:38:00.001-04:00

More links from the OMOM...check out the man himself on backing vox at the 5:45 mark...one of the best drinking tunes ever.

AMERICAN DOG Live in France

2008-04-30T09:34:00.001-04:00

Kudos to the O.M.O.M. for giving me the link to this. Huge crowds greeted the Dog on their recent tour of France and the O.M.O.M. says American Dog just kicked serious ass. Here they are doing a Blue Oyster Cult cover.

Mayhem

2008-04-30T08:16:00.002-04:00

Another apology to start the day....the quality of the blog, what little quality there is, has suffered over the past few weeks. I've been busy with real life events and haven't put in the time or effort to entertain you, the audience (all 5 of you). So with April at an end, its time to turn the page and look forward to May...or as I'm calling it...Mayhem.

No, we're not dedicating the month to our local arena football team....some of our better moments have been when I've incorporated music videos into the posts. Rocktober and the S'March of Metal saw the ol' crap blog generating more traffic than any other months since we opened up for business nearly a year ago. So what can you expect from Mayhem? A little bit of everything...stuff I like, stuff I despise, and things that make you go "hmmmm." No, that doesn't mean you can look forward to posts on C+C Music Factory (tho, its possible) but I plan on digging out some obscure things, some cool things and stuff that'll make you wanna puke.

I'm hoping to land us some guest bloggers during the month of May as well....maybe get the O.M.O.M. to tell us about his trip to France...maybe TFO will give us his take on the Stanley Cup finals....Maybe Jeremiah Wright will drop in to tell us why he hates white people (in fact, I can see the Rev. Wright dropping in next week).

So that takes care of whats on tap for May......come June we'll celebrate our one year anniversary and then...well, I'll let ya know but I'm hoping for a major announcement on the future of the blog at that point. There is a project in the planning stages that will blow the minds of all who use the internet for purposes other than self pleasure.

You may remember a few weeks back we looked into raising funds for KBone so he could spend an hour with Eliot Spitzer's call girl....we topped out a $1.25 but the story has a happy ending. KBone met a chick he didn't have to pay for...he describes her as young, hot, and two-legged.....glad to hear he's not hooking up with Heather Mills. I'll send the $1.25 to KBone ASAP....should help pay for a draft beer if nothing else.

ABC, CBS, and NBC all devoted time on the network news last night to stories about Miley Cyrus's photos in Vanity Fair...yet ignored a story in the NY Times linking the networks military experts to the Pentagon. This is why network news no longer matters....you can't tell where the news ends and Access Hollywood begins. Unless she opens fire on the Virginia Tech campus, nothing Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus does should ever be considered news.

President Bush says he knows whats causing our economic woes...the Democrats in Congress. Mind you, he had 6 years of a Republican Congress so I guess to him these problems just happened overnight. This is what happens when you elect an oilman who cuts taxes, wages a needless war, and spends money like a 15 year old girl at the mall. Bush also again came out and claimed that the solution to our high gas and oil prices is drilling in protected lands. Anyone with an IQ above 6 can tell you that the only counter to the high price of gas is to find alternative fuels and find 'em fast. A real leader would have begun this quest after the events of 9/11. If you want to crush your enemy you crush their economy. Hard to really wage a war on Islamofascism (remember that Bush coined war?) when you're signing checks over to them for oil. Be kinda like waging war on the Girl Scouts yet still buying cases and cases of Thin Mints.

I'm trying to secure financing for a porn version of Cloverfield.....

Sadly, I'm unable to attend what is sure to be a great show Saturday night.....Ace Frehley, American Dog and Karma 10 are playing the Newport. Should be a great night of rock n' roll. Ace has always been my favorite member of Kiss and its good to see him back on the road. He's got a new record due out any day now and from everything I've heard its very much in the style of his classic solo record from 1978. I'd be there but I'll be busy throwing a Bratz themed birthday party for my little Ms. BlastFurniss. I can't afford a clown so maybe I'll dress up as Ace instead.

I can't wait to go see Iron Man this weekend. I haven't been so geeked up about a flick in a long time. Everything about the movie just seems perfect. Its gonna be a good geek summer at the movies and this flick is the perfect way to kick it off. In just a couple weeks we also get a new Indiana Jones movie. Raiders of the Lost Ark was the first movie I went to see over and over at the theaters as a kid. The new Batman movie is also a must see. The latest internet rumor on that is that is running time may approach three hours. As for the Edward Norton Hulk movie...well, it has "sucks" written all over it. Here's hoping that all the comic flicks do well at the box office and we get more of them. I'd love to see Captain America done right on the big screen.

I'm off to do good deeds for my fellow man....brace yourselves...its almost Mayhem.

Back In The Saddle Again

2008-04-29T09:22:00.003-04:00

After being heavily doped up the past few days, I've returned to conquer the world of blogdom....sorry for the lack of updates...had to get the wisdom teeth removed and then we had a death in the family so the blog was on the back burner....however, I'm rested and ready to go now and everyone who is supposed to be alive is still living so its time to get back to it...

So how 'bout this Miley Cyrus thing? Do you care as little about this scandal as much as I do? I'm so desensitized to teen celebrity scandals at this point thats its no big deal to me. I don't find the picture to be racy but I do think it was a pretty poor decision. If it helps to bring an end to Miley and Hannah Montana mania I'm all for it. If lead based paint in Hannah Montana products didn't kill off the fanbase, maybe this picture will do the trick.

Speaking of things that are dying in popularity, the producers of American Idol are very concerned over their dropping ratings. Its not easy to figure out why the show isn't as popular as it used to be....the novelty has worn off, the show is filled with untalented contestants and the public is burned out on it. Factor in that recent winners have had little success in moving product and its obvious that its a show in its dying phase. To that I can only say, Thank God!

The Iran movie industry has decided to take on Jesus.....In Islam Jesus is considered to be a prophet but is not the son of God. The filmmaker says he hopes that Christians who view the film will come away realizing that they've been lied to. I didn't even know they made movies in Iran. I guess I should go and rent Honey I Shrunk Mohammad next time I'm in Blockbuster.

I continue to believe we are doomed...McCain and Clinton want to have a gas tax holiday...net savings to us? About 5 bucks each. Of course, no gas tax means no money to fix the roads and bridges in this country. I've never seen so many potholes in my life. Uncle Sam can keep my gas tax money and put it to use fixing the roads and saving my car's suspension. The government starts sending out its incentive checks this week. I have mixed feelings on those...on the one hand, I could really use the money. My car needs new tires and shocks (thanks to the potholes) but I hate to see the national debt swell any larger. Anyone who thinks these checks are gonna save our economy is an idiot....President Bush...I'm looking at you.

Dee Snider was on the Howard Stern Show this morning. He may not be the best singer or songwriter ever but Dee is one of the coolest dudes in the history of rock.

How does a guy keep his kid in shackles in a basement for 20 plus years and not have anyone notice? What kind of sick, f'd up world do we live in?

In closing, let me sing the praises of Vicodin...has there ever been a better narcotic? If I were to develop a prescription drug addiction I think I would choose to be addicted to Vicodin. It asks nothing from you yet gives so much numbing comfort in return. If I could I'd have Vicodin in candy dishes all over my house.

Thats all I have time for today....I'll do better tomorrow

Why Wisdom Teeth?

2008-04-24T14:55:00.002-04:00

Ever go see a movie that's been hyped beyond belief and walk out of the theater thinking "boy, that sure sucked ass!" Well, the same phrase applies to my much dreaded but not as bad as I expected wisdom tooth removal today. The build up and anxiety to the event was worse than the actual removal (bottom two pulled, top two cut out). I was cracking jokes in the recovery room..."How ya feelin' Mr. Furniss?" says the nurse "Frisky...can you close the door please? My wife is in a good mood right now..." "Oh, Mr. Furniss, we need to keep this door open!" At least she had a sense of humor (and I didn't say they were funny jokes..just that I made them....but a sense of humor and a strong libido just minutes after 4 teeth yanked says a lot about my character...and my sex drive).

Since its late in the day and the usual crew probably isn't reading this today..just a couple quick hits....

Miley Cyrus is now worth a billion dollars.....yet Sam's Club and Costco are limiting shoppers to 4 bags of rice due to a grain shortage....what do these things have in common? They are two signs of the coming apocalypse. You know we're doomed if Air Supply has a hit single...that is the final sign.

Couches beware....Tom Cruise is coming back to visit Oprah again. I gotta tell ya, I used to like Cruise...I think Born on the 4th of July is one of the war movies ever (sure its not really a battle flick but name a better one that outlines the costs war has young men) and I love Minority Report and War of the Worlds. But he's just such a goof ball and I have a hard time distancing that weirdo from his characters. Same thing has happened to me with Mel Gibson. I tried watching the Patriot yesterday and I swore I heard Mel call Lord Cornwallis a kike.

Why is Microsoft forcing us all to go from XP to Vista? For the same reason a dog licks its balls...because it can.

I'm thinking of organizing the first BlastFurniss field trip...August 16th...just outside of Pittsburgh PA....its the Metal event of a lifetime...Heaven and Hell (aka Sabbath with Dio), Judas Priest, Motorhead and Testament....if that doesn't sound like the ultimate bill, then you're probably sitting at home, shaving your body hair and praying to your useless god for Air Supply to reunite.

That's all I've got today....I could do more...but I'm high on Vicodin...and you should be too. Ain't no addiction like an Rx drug addiction.

Blood Brothers

2008-04-23T09:47:00.003-04:00

This may be my last post for the rest of the week...off to get the wisdom teeth yanked out tomorrow morning. Hoping I can utilize a new feature from Blogger that allows me to write something and then have schedule it to be posted at a later date and time. Its a shame I can't do a live blog while I'm sitting in the oral surgeon's chair....that could be interesting. Perhaps if nothing else I'll blog about the effects the pain meds are having on my brain.

I'm sure my non-Springsteen fans are sick of my Bruce related posts of the past week. You'll have to bear thru one more short one. The Boss and the E Street Band returned to the stage last night after an 8 day break. Of course, during that time the band lost founding member Danny Federici who died last Thursday after a 3 year battle with skin cancer. Last night the band took to the stage in Tampa just a day after Federici's funeral. By all accounts it was an emotional and simply amazing show. The band came out on stage together and stood in the dark as the video screens displayed pix of Danny accompanied by the song Blood Brothers. From there the band, with a spotlight on Danny's vacant spot on stage and an accordion propped near the organ, launched into Backstreets. Much to my surprise, the E Street Band played songs like Racing in the Street and 4th of July Asbury Park (Sandy) two tunes I didn't expect to show up anytime soon or at all without Danny. Pianist Roy Bittan took over Danny's spot on the accordion during Sandy with Springsteen telling him he'd better get it right as someone was watching him. As that song ended, Springsteen wiped away tears and kissed Roy on the head and the band rocked the house for the rest of the night. Its an end of an era on E Street but Springsteen and the band rolled up their sleeves and went to work. Sometimes the best way to deal with death is just go on with life.

American Dog wrapped up their tour of France yesterday. Hope to have the O.M.O.M. give us the low down on the tour when he gets back. I'm sure AD showed those Frenchies how to do it doggy style.

I know that was an obvious crack...couldn't help myself.

So Hillary Clinton wins PA...no surprise. Get ready to start saying these words "President John Fucking McCain." Not even Cleveland sports teams snatch defeat from the jaws of victory like the Democratic party does.

How bout those gas prices? Nearly $3.60 a gallon and going up. I'm not saying its getting too expensive to drive a car, but I understand the new episode of Pimp My Ride focuses on the Amish. You ain't lived till you've seen a sunroof on a buggy and a spoiler on a horse's ass.

Since I didn't have to go to work today, I stayed up late last night and watched the NHL playoffs. I gotta tell ya, the only team that has really impressed me is Pittsburgh. They look like they are playing at an entirely different level. The 2nd round is set after Philly beat the Caps in OT and San Jose took care of Calgary. I think we're looking at a Pittsburgh and San Jose Stanley Cup Final. I think Detroit will handle Colorado but I don't think they'll beat the Sharks.

Good to see C.C. Sabathia pitch like himself last night. Now if he can put a run of some solid starts together I'll be convinced he's back to form. Tribe needs him to win. Good to see the offense show up last night too in scoring 15 runs. Sure it was against KC, but a win is a win is a win.

NFL Draft is this weekend or for this Browns fan, its time to mow the yard. With no picks until the 4th round there isn't much action in the draft for me to follow. Smart move by the Dolphins to sign Jake Long, the big O-linemen from Michigan. That kid is a stud. I think there will be a lot of first round busts this year. No one really stands out to me as a must have guy.

Memo to Kelly Clarkson...stop trying so hard to be shed that American Idol image. MSNBC reports today that the first season winner confesses that she likes to walk around the house in the nude for the simple reason that she just likes to be naked. C'mon Kelly...you think we're gonna believe that? Go make a Paris Hilton style porn vid...then we'll believe it...go on Kelly...what are you waiting on?

I'm out...like my wisdom teeth this time tomorrow.

Stoking the Fire of Stupidity

2008-04-22T09:06:00.002-04:00

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band resume their tour tonight in Tampa. This is the band's first gig since the passing of organist Danny Federici last Thursday. Federici's funeral service was conducted yesterday. Just when I thought I could not believe that the human race could get any dumber I was proven wrong. Numerous fans posted on Springsteen message boards their intention of standing across the street from the funeral home despite the home's announcement that the services were private. I don't care how many times you've seen the band or how big of a fan you are, to disrupt a private funeral service just so you can gawk at celebrities mourning their friend is just ghoulish and rude. Get a life people.

Is there anyone who honestly believes that Earth Day means anything?I keep reading about all these "green" initiatives companies are taking in honor of Earth Day but its a one day only thing. At Xmas and Thanksgiving I always promise to spend more time with relatives and friends and never end up keeping that promise. Earth Day is the same thing. The only way to save the planet is to force people to change.....the government will have to legislate the change needed to save the Earth.

The best change to make of course would be alternative fuels. $3.50 a gallon gas prices are the national average now. If President Numbskull had any stones the first thing he would have done after we were attacked on 9/11 would have been to move us off oil. Its way past time to find energy alternatives and affordable ones at that. We need a leader who is willing to take a stand for what's right. Its time to realize that in today's global economy the U.S. isn't the only player when it comes to oil. Billions of Chinese and Indians (the kind in India not the Squanto variety) are driving now too. What we need is a car that runs on body fat...god knows we have a lot of lard asses in this country that aren't doing anything but depleting our Twinkee supply.

Does anyone really care that Suri Cruise just had her 2nd birthday? Why is this a top story today on MSNBC? Lots of kids are having birthdays....and their parents are normal...you don't see them getting news coverage. Crap, I even saw a story today that David Hasselhoff is having surgery on his eye...I didn't read the story, saw the headline and that was more than I wanted to know. Plus I hear Lindsay Lohan fell off the wagon....again, I didn't read the story, the headline told me everything. At what point did news and entertainment blur? I saw a commercial this morning that Access Hollywood or Extra, can't remember which, is running a story tonight on the polygamists in Texas. Why? What's the point? What's the appeal of this story anyway? I could understand it if a movie star were involved but how is this story something that should be covered by a crappy entertainment show?

Its not only American banks paying for our loan mess....The Royal Bank of Scotland says it needs 23 billion to cover losses caused by the American banking mess. So I wonder how long it'll take for your tax dollars to bail out foreign banks.....we've already bailed out our own.

Hillary Clinton seems a shoo in to win the Pennsylvania primary today meaning this ongoing election...well, goes on. Filmmaker Michael Moore has joined the likes of Oprah, Bruce Springsteen and well me I guess in endorsing Obama. Moore took a dig at Hillary Clinton on his website saying ""Over the past two months, the actions and words of Hillary Clinton have gone from being merely disappointing to downright disgusting," he writes, saying that she has tried to "smear" Obama — "Like you were nuts. Like you were a bigot stoking the fires of stupidity."

That sums it up pretty well.....we are a nation that constantly stokes the fires of stupidity...

I'm Allergic to Spring

2008-04-21T08:10:00.002-04:00

Glad the cold weather, snow and ice are behind us, but Spring gets harder for my sinuses to bear every year. Allergies are killing me. My eyes are watery and itchy. I can't wait to finally mow the yard for the first time. I'm sure my eyes will be swollen shut like Rocky Balboa by the time I'm done.

This time of year is when all the worlds of sports collide. You have baseball starting in the Spring, this weekend you have the NFL draft and the playoffs for hockey and basketball are under way. As much as I enjoy the NHL, there's something very wrong about a winter sport being played when temperatures are pushing 80 degrees. Still, its easy to look past that as the Stanley Cup playoffs are the greatest postseason in all of sport. I watch the NBA very little in the regular season. I find pro basketball's regular season to be less interesting than watching roadkill decompose. However, like the NHL, the NBA playoffs are exciting. It helps that the Cleveland Cavaliers are in the playoffs...without them, I probably wouldn't tune in at all.

I'm so sick of American politics. John McCain made the talk show rounds yesterday to complain about Obama happening to have once served on a board with Bill Ayers, a University of Illinois professor who was a member of the Weather Underground. Every time the Weather Underground comes up I can't stop laughing. McCain, Clinton and the media keep calling them "domestic terrorists" when the reality is they were a group of student radicals from the 60's who only managed to blow themselves up. Plus, most of them were long since pardoned, some of the members were even pardoned by Bill Clinton when he was president. I'm not sure who is the bigger idiot, the media, for selling this non story as a controversial or the American public who falls for it. This is essentially the swift boating of Obama...and I don't think its gonna work. It would make me very happy to see him win Pennsylvania tomorrow and put the Democratic primary to rest.

After assaulting his assistant and resigning on the air on April 10th, Artie Lange was back on the Howard Stern show this morning. The show was on vacation all last week and I didn't get to hear enough of the show this morning to find out why Artie decided to stay with the show. But I'm glad he did. Artie is one funny dude.

More Americans went to see that Jet Li and Jackie Chan flick over Forgetting Sarah Marshall over the weekend. This is further evidence that every time I think the American public can't have worse taste, they prove me wrong.

You know things are bad when you pay $3.22 for a gallon of gas and you're pleased with the cost.

Bill Maher was forced into an apology by the Catholic League for calling Pope Benedict a child molesting Nazi. In his apology Maher said he was making a joke and that Benedict was of course not a Nazi but a member of the Hitler youth. This is a fact. Just like its a fact that Benedict was Dick Cheney to Pope John Paul's Bush. While not a child molester, Benedict was part of the brain trust running the Catholic Church and orchestrating the coverups and payoffs. To me its a shame that Benedict wasn't at least questioned by authorities for his involvement in the scandal before he left the U.S.A. The only reason he's getting away with this is because he's the CEO of the world's largest church. If he were the head of an international daycare provider he'd have been seized the moment he landed at LaGuardia in NYC. Its pretty sad that Roman Polanski can't come into the U.S.A. yet the Pope can.

I guess the local archdiocese shouldn't count on a donation from me this year eh?

Every time I see a commercial for the Iron Man movie I get more geeked up. The more I see the commercials for Speed Racer, the worse it looks to me.

Velvet Revolver has announced plans to follow Journey's lead and look for its next singer on the internet. Do you think if they just disappeared that anyone would ever miss Velvet Revolver? With or without Scott Weiland they are sure to be always horrible.

Live Nation is set to announce a slew of summer tours today including dates for Eric Clapton, Radiohead and Kanye West or as I like to call them, 3 stooges who won't get a dime outta me.Given the state of the economy, high ticket prices along with high gas prices means low turnouts are likely for shows this summer. To give you an idea of just how bad it is out there for bands these days, Robert Plant says the only way Led Zeppelin can afford to go on the road is if Jesus can be persuaded to open up for them. Christ is holding out tho...he wants to co-headline cuz ya know Jesus doesn't open for anyone.

See ya in hell........

Now Ya See 'em, Now Ya Don't...Dan "the Phantom" Federici

2008-04-18T11:11:00.001-04:00

Here's another version of Sandy...Danny Federici's last appearance with the E Street Band just last month in Indianapolis.

4th of July Asbury Park (Sandy)

2008-04-18T09:44:00.001-04:00

Fans of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are in mourning today over the loss of organist Danny Federici. "The Phantom" as the Boss called him died yesterday at the age of 58. In a post on his website Springsteen said ""Danny and I worked together for 40 years - he was the most wonderfully fluid keyboard player and a pure natural musician. I loved him very much...we grew up together."

Danny took a leave of absence from the band after shows in Boston on November 19. That was just two weeks after I saw the band in Cleveland. Danny made one final appearance with the band in March in Indianapolis playing a couple songs during the main set and the entire encore. There was some hope he might rejoin the band for their recent West Coast swing but it was not to be.

Federici's organ and accordion were an important ingredient in the recipe for Springsteen's wall of sound. No one played with Springsteen longer than he did and he was the one member of the band that Springsteen said could turn him into a shouting mess.

Obviously, the E Street Band has cancelled its shows in Florida that were scheduled for this weekend. I wouldn't be surprised to see more dates postponed after that. Playing shows is surely the last thing on their minds right now and thats how it should be.

The music of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band has been a loyal friend to me on life's journey. What Danny brought to the music can never be replaced. Someone else can play the organ and take his place on stage, but the Phantom will always be a part of the E Street Band.

Thanks Danny.....E Street won't be the same without you....

WtF?

2008-04-17T08:53:00.003-04:00

With all the issues we face in this country, what does ABC News decide to ask Obama and Clinton in their debate last night? Questions on the Weather Underground. If you are unfamiliar with the Weather Underground don't feel bad. The only thing this group of 60's radicals ever managed to do was blow themselves up. But yet these were the questions thrown at the two candidates last night.

President Bush gives an interview where he admits if there is another terrorist attack in the United States it is likely to again originate in Afghanistan. You remember that country don't ya? The one that actually housed the guys that attacked the U.S.A. on September 11th 2001? The one we bombed and went to war with....only to quit before it was over to wage this meaningless war against Iraq?

A new poll by the History News Network shows that 61 percent of historians rank the Bush presidency as the worst in history. 98 percent of those say the Bush presidency has been a failure. Who are the 2 percent who think it was a success? Are these the same dentists who refuse to suggest sugarless gum to their patients? I'm guessing these would be historians who also believe man never went to the moon and the Holocaust never happened.

Bush would have earned this distinction of worst president without the war in Iraq...just take a look at today's economic news...jobless claims rose higher than expected, oil has set yet another record price and oh...your dollar is worth even less today than yesterday.

I swear to Jebus the next person who happens to ask me "Did you watch American Idol last night?" is getting kicked in the balls or ovaries.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall looks like it'll be a lot of fun. Most Judd Apatow movies are.

I can appreciate all forms of music...I don't dislike reggae but it all sounds the same to me.

Who cares about Motley Crue these days? Based on the attention their summer tour announcement is getting from music websites you'd think the Stones were going on the road and playing for free to boot. I don't care if they are touring with Buckcherry or Buck Owens corpse...Motley Crue will be lucky to play to half filled sheds this summer.

Here's another tour no one will care about..Cinderella with Warrant and Lynch Mob. YAWN. Poison's summer bill featuring Dokken and Sebastian Bach is also gonna have a hard time drawing crowds as Poison, despite years of deep discounting tix, has jacked up the price big time this summer.

Bruce Springsteen has endorsed Barrack Obama...no surprise there...the Boss stumped for Kerry back in 2004....we see how that worked out.

Our friends in American Dog unleash hell on France today...knock 'em dead boys.

Now that Barry Bonds has been excommunicated from MLB, I think Sean Avery of the NHL's NY Rangers has become the player I hate the most. Because of his actions of face guarding Marty Brodeur of the NJ Devils the other day, the NHL was forced to rewrite its rule book to prohibit actions like Avery's. Avery is pro sports version of the kid in grade school who went out of his way to taunt other kids "I'm not touching you...look I'm not touching" Where the hell is Bob Probert to kick this guys ass when you need him?

C.C. Sabathia is fat and lost. Last year's AL Cy Young winner looks like he's pitching BP out there. Get it together ya fat bastard.

That's all I've got today...hey, it beats yesterday's post...there wasn't one!

Happy Tax Day

2008-04-15T10:56:00.002-04:00

Its April 15th Tax Day...big whoopity do....I don't understand the media hype over this every year. If you wait till the last minute to file your taxes, you're a flaming idiot....its really as simple as that. Leave it to the media to celebrate putting crap off till the last minute. Its like people who wait to do their Xmas shopping on December 24th. Christmas falls on the same damn day every damn year yet they always put some reporter out in the malls and big box scores to talk to the nimrod who waited until the last minute. Here's a news story I wanna see...have a reporter ask these people who wait till the last minute to file if they are under a shrink's care.

So the world's most famous supporter of pedophiles, Pope Benedict said today as he left for the U.S. that he was "ashamed" of the clergy molestation scandal that rocked his church. The Pope says he doesn't understand what lead these priests to abuse their charges....Hmm...gee your Holiness....could it have anything to do with the way you, your predecessor and all the bishops chose to ignore the issue for generations....you moved priests around to different areas and lead cover ups in lieu of having these leeches prosecuted. The Catholic Church is the McDonald's of pedophiles....they abuse children like McDonald's makes people fat. If a chain of day care centers did what the Catholic Church did the government would have shut them down. Benedict ougtha be arrested while he's in the States and held accountable for the sins of his church.

Can we just get the presidential election over with already? I can't believe we have nearly 7 more months of this nonsense to deal with. As much as I've enjoyed HBO's John Adams mini-series its at times painful to watch when you realize the idiots we're stuck with in this election. Believe it or not, at one point honorable men actually occupied the White House.

Oil set a new record price today...$113 a barrel. Local gas prices are now around $3.45 a gallon. We'll hit 4 bucks by Memorial Day easy. Gonna be a real damper on those summer drives to weekend getaways. More bad economic news..inflation rose 1.1%. Oh and more homes are being foreclosed on...foreclosure notices jumped 57% in March (this is compared to the number of notices in March of last year)...bout the only booming industry is probably in alcohol and illegal drugs. Gotta find some way to deal with all this bad news. How can a poor man stand such times and live...sober?

The Titanic sunk 96 years ago today. If I could time travel I'd probably go back and try to prevent them from hitting the iceberg. Not because of all the lives lost...just would have spared us that god awful movie and the even worse Celine Dion song.

I've got nothing else to say....I'm off to throw spoiled veggies at the Pope.

Mama Said Knock You Out

2008-04-14T08:21:00.002-04:00

By now I'm sure everyone has seen the home video footage of a group of teen age girls in Florida smacking around one of their "friends" for talking trash about them on MySpace. The usual reaction is one of horror..."Oh my god, what has happened to todays's kids? What is wrong with our children...the world is so violent." PUKE. Here's a thought...maybe the girl deserved to get her ass kicked.

Work with me here people...I'm not an advocate of violence but kids have been fighting with other kids since the dawn of man. Kids have also been running their mouths about other kids since then too. The only reason anyone is talking about this is because someone was stupid enough to put the beat down on video tape. No tape...no fuss. I always advise those who are going to commit an assault or any other crime to NOT RECORD IT.

Is society gonna be better off with these girls behind bars in an adult prison? NO. I'm not an advocate of teen posses going around beating up their classmates but lets face it, life is a series of ass kickings. In today's age where every kid is special, every kid deserves a ribbon and a cell phone...this incident should be looked at as a life lesson for the parties involved. If it leads to one kid being less of a narcissist, I'm all for it.

Having said that..if it were MY kid getting their butt kicked, I'm sure I'd feel differently.....Perhaps the best thing to come out of this videotaped teenage catfight is that its got Dr. Phil in hot water again. TMZ reported that one of Dr. Phil's production staff posted $33,000 bail to get one of the girls outta jail. Bail was paid on one condition....the girl's story now becomes a Dr. Phil exclusive. Here's my solution to this whole issue..invite all 8 girls on to Dr. Phil's show...broadcast it live in primetime and let the girls beat Dr. Phil to death live on national tv. The girls in turn receive a full pardon.

A few quick hits for Monday:

Health care provider Aetna has selected Magic Johnson as its new corporate spokesperson....think about that...a health care company has asked a fat guy with HIV to be its spokesperson. Doesn't that choice sum up the health care industry perfectly?

Bret Michaels picked Ambre to be his Rock of Love. Bret seemed pretty torn up in choosing between Ambre and Daisy. I wonder if his wig had a say in the decision?

Barrack Obama is in trouble for saying that rural Pennsylvanians prefer guns and religion to dealing with the "real" issues they are facing...hmmm...I don't know about you but I don't see what the big deal is...these are people who are more likely to be watching Hee Haw (is that even on?) then Meet the Press.

Watched There Will Be Blood over the weekend. Fantastic flick. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story was pretty bad as was We Own the Night.

Made the mistake of watching Saturday Night Live...someone please explain the appeal of Ashton Kutcher?

Why does the media make a big fuss over 400 kids getting molested by a whacky Mormon offshoot group, yet celebrates the visit of the Pope? I mean thousand of Catholic kids have been molested by clergy and you don't hear anyone talking about that.

I'm off to beat me some kids.....have a good Monday.